酷毙了

我刚刚读到一篇文章说 现在的钱已经没什么用处了
I just read that money as we know it is dead.
世界将来会使用
Soon the world is only
比特币交易
gonna buy and sell products using Bitcoins.
就像复杂的数学公式一样
It’s like a complicated math equation.
所以 我们将来就用
So, one day we’re gonna
数学公式里的数字买♥♥东西
buy things with numbers from a math equation?
酷毙了 对吗
Dope, right?
马尔科姆·阿德坎比是个极客
Malcolm Adekanbi is a geek.
他和他妈妈住在一起
Malcolm lives with his single
他对自己的爸爸只有一个记忆
mother and has only one memory of his father.
马尔科姆住在加州英格尔伍德市
Malcolm lives in Inglewood, California,
的达尔比-狄克逊社区 外号♥”底层区”
in the Darby-Dixon neighborhood referred to as The Bottoms.
把车子给我 黑鬼
Give me your bike, nigga!
马尔科姆的朋友 吉布和蒂格也很宅
Malcolm’s friends, Jib and Diggy, are also geeks.
唷
Yo.
该死
Shit.
真想和她大干一场
All I want to do is a zoom, zoom, zoom and the boom, boom.
我也是
Word.
马尔科姆 吉布和蒂格…
Malcolm, Jib and Diggy…
非常痴迷于90年代的嘻哈文化
are all deeply obsessed with ’90s hip-hop culture,
整天不是泡在90年代的音乐里
submerging themselves in the music,
就是看90年代的音乐电视说唱节目
watching old Yo! MTV Raps episodes
整天装模作样地模仿
for fashion tips…
满嘴都是学来的俚语
and using the slang.
哈 哥们 这玩意儿不怎么样
Huh? Bro, that shit was whack.
-什么 -他们曾经针对过Brand Nubian
-What? -They were biting Brand Nubian.
怎么可能
That’s not even possible.
中头彩了 小子们
Jackpot, niggas.
好甜 好甜 恩
Gushy, gushy. Mmm!
噢 我有告诉你们蒂格是个同性恋吗
Oh, did I mention that Diggy was a lesbian?
除开她的穿着不说
Although from the way she dresses,
你可能没注意到她是女生
you might not have noticed she’s a girl.
救救她吧 上帝 唷 哈利路亚 哈利路亚
Save her, Lord! Yo, hallelujah! Hallelujah!
每周日 她外婆
Every Sunday, her grandmother
都要求教会成员围成一个圈
asks the church to lay their hands on her…
一起祈祷她外孙女会浪子回头
in order to pray away the gay.
赞美上帝
Praise the Lord!
-所以你直了吗 -你猜
-So, did it work? -You know.
前几天我在看贾斯汀·比伯的时候
I was watching Justin Bieber
下面有点湿了呢
the other night and I got a little moist.
所以呢 所以我可能变直了
Yeah? So maybe.
-那是因为他有点Gay -确实
-That’s just because he’s a little ho. -That’s true.
-他是个漂亮的小婊砸 -是的
He’s a very pretty nigga. Yes, he is.
早 头儿
What’s up, boss?
对于大多数极客来说 倒霉的时候会
For most geeks, a bad day
被全班当成笑柄
might be being the butt of jokes in class,
饭盒被人恶作剧
the occasional food prank
最惨就是被高年级学长运动员盯上揍一顿
and the worst–being beat up by a jock.
但是如果你住在”底层区”的话
But when you live in The Bottoms,
你一个不小心可能就被杀了
a bad day might be accidentally getting killed.
比方说 怀托尼·约翰逊
Like Wytony Johnson,
在森地内拉区的吉米汉堡店
who got shot buying a pastrami cheeseburger…
买♥♥五香牛肉汉堡的时候被射杀了
from Jimmy’s Burger on Centinela.
嘿 瘸子帮驾到 你们这些混账东西
Hey! It’s the Rollin’ 60s, dumb-ass niggas!
最悲惨的是…
The real tragedy is…
他当时就快打赢魔王加农了
that he was seconds away from defeating Ganon.
这家伙是个漫画收集家
He had a hell of a comic book collection.
吉布求怀托尼的妈妈
Jib has been trying to
把他儿子收集的漫画全部给他
talk Wytony’s mom into giving them to him…
求了整整两个星期
for the past two weeks.
马尔科姆 吉布和蒂格
Malcolm, Jib and Diggy
不玩体育 也不加入任何团伙
don’t play sports and they aren’t in a gang.
他们兴趣爱好和白人一样
They’re always getting ridiculed
所以在学校经常被欺负…
by their peers because they’re into white shit…
他们喜欢玩滑板 看日本漫画 唐纳德·格洛弗…
like skateboards, manga comics, Donald Glover…
他们和白人一样喜欢
and for listening to white
“Trash Talk乐队” 听广播电视…
shit like Trash Talk, TV on the Radio…
他们和白人一样
and for doing white shit like
学习成绩优秀 还准备申请大学
getting good grades and applying to college.
马尔科姆 吉布和蒂格曾经加入了学校军乐队
Malcolm, Jib and Diggy used to be in the school marching band,
但是队里要求表演”哈林摇” 所以他们退出了
but quit in protest after refusing to play the Harlem Shake.
他们最近决定在午餐期间使用音乐室…
They arranged to use the music room during lunch…
因为他们刚刚成立了一个庞克乐队”Awreeoh乐队”
for their recently formed punk band, Awreeoh.
一 二 一 二 三 四
One, two. One, two, three, four!
嘿 嘿 你知道规矩 黑鬼
Hey-hey! You know the program, niggas.
鞋子审查 转过去
Shoe program. Turn around.
让我瞧瞧你♥他♥妈♥穿几码
Let me see what the fuck you working with.
噢 妈的 这些混♥蛋♥
Oh, shit, man. All these
长了一双小巧玲珑的脚
motherfuckers got small feet around this bitch.
该死 黑鬼 我都不知道你找他们干嘛
Goddamn. Nigga, I don’t know why you was looking.
嘿 嘿 我的黑人兄弟
Hey-hey! My nigga, my G.
噢 小子 你往哪走呢
Oh, man. Where the fuck you goin’, man?
搞什么 你怎么回事
Goddamn. What’s up with you?
嘿 你上次给我的鞋子挺不错的
Hey, them last shoes you gave me, man, I was feeling them.
经典版 空军一号♥2代 我很喜欢
Classics. The Force 2s? Yeah, I was liking those.
你今天穿的哪款
What’s these you got on?
哥们 这些是从跳蚤市场淘来的
Bro, these are straight from the flea market.
闭嘴 黑鬼 这可是带有红色标志的乔丹3代
Shut the fuck up, nigga. These the J-3s with the red mark on ’em.
太棒了
Oh, yes.
立刻给我脱下来
Come up out those right now.
现在 黑鬼 你听不懂英文吗
Right now, nigga! You speak English?
还想像上次那样挨揍吗
Do I gotta beat the shit out of you again and take them?
妈的
Damn.
这家伙搞得好像说非洲语一样
This nigga’s speaking African or some shit,
就像和我们说的不是一种语言一样
like he don’t speak what we speak.
这黑鬼总是…
This nigga always–
嘿
Hey!
跑 蒂格 快跑
Go, Dig! Come on!
蒂格 快跑
Dig! Go!
快点 蒂格
Come on, Dig!
噢 该死
Oh, shit!
嘿 嘿 等等
Hey, hey. Hold up, hold up.
把你的脏手从我身上拿开 老兄
Get your motherfuckin’ hands off me, man!
别以为我不敢揍你 自以为是的小子
Don’t think I won’t beat your ass, Marquis!
我和你老子认识 你最好去问问他我斯泰西是谁
I came up with your daddy. You better ask him about Stacey.
把情况搞清楚再来
And see what’s what around this motherfucker!
走吧 老大
Let’s go, man.
我会把另一只要过来的 你这个小婊砸
I’m gon’ get the other one, you little, bitch-ass nigga.
滚啦
Go, man.
马尔科姆 你这篇个人论文
Malcolm, when I see stuff like this personal essay,
让我觉得你不是真得想读大学
I think you’re not taking the process seriously.
我很想读 贝利先生 我保证
I’m–I’m taking it seriously, Mr. Bailey. I promise.
我写的是我钟爱的东西
I’m talking about something that I love.
这篇论文理由充分 有历史数据证明
I mean, it’s well-reasoned, supported with historical data,
富有创造力 又有批判性思维
it shows creativity, critical thinking.
我的水平和尼尔·德格拉斯·泰森[美国天体物理学家]
If Neil deGrasse Tyson was writing about Ice Cube,
已经可以相提并论了
this is what it would look like.
我建议你还是重新写一篇
I suggest you go in a different direction.
关于你自己的论文
Write something personal about you.
关于你的家庭 你的生活的
Your family, your life.
我也不是不能写那种典型的…
I mean, I–I could write about the typical…
“我生活在一个贫穷的犯罪率很高的社区”
“I’m from a poor, crime-filled neighborhood,
“我来自一个单亲家庭 我不知道我爸爸是谁”之类
raised by a single mother, don’t know my dad” Blah-blah.
但是那太老生常谈了
It’s cliché.
这篇呢
This here, this–this is–
很有创造力 说明我和别人不一样
This is creative. This shows that I’m different.
哈佛就想要他们的学生写出这种东西
This is the kind of essay that Harvard wants from their students.
马尔科姆 我和你说实话吧
Malcolm, I’m gonna be honest with you.
你太他妈骄傲了
You’re pretty damn arrogant.
你觉得自己能进哈佛
You think you’re gonna get into Harvard?