不要抬头（2021）

有时甚至让人觉得多过了头
Sometimes, it can even feel like too much.
直到现在
Until now.
向各位介绍巴什来福手♥机♥
Introducing BASH LiiF.
（要有来福）
没有生存压力的人生
Life, without the stress of living.
（巴什）
在我们介绍 巴什公♥司♥创始人兼首席执行官之前
Before we introduce the founder and CEO of BASH,
请记住不要直接进行眼神交流
please remember to avoid direct eye contact,
不要突然移♥动♥ 咳嗽或露出反对的表情
sudden movements, coughing or negative facial expressions.
现在就让我们欢迎彼得伊舍威尔先生
And now, please welcome Sir Peter Isherwell.
（彼得伊舍威尔-创始人）
我们爱你 彼得！
We love you, Peter!
我们爱你 彼得！
We love you, Peter!
大家好
Hello, everyone.
我这一生做过的所有工作
All of my life’s work,
动力都来自于我渴望有一位朋友
really, I see has been driven by an inexpressible need for a friend
完全懂我、能安抚我的朋友
who would understand and soothe me.
多年来的工作 凝结出的成果就是巴什来福
And you know, now all those years of work have come to fruition with BASH LiiF,
我们的新款巴什14. 3手♥机♥
our new BASH 14. 3, uh, phone
完全融入了你的每一种感情和欲望
is fully integrated into your every feeling and desire
而你一句话也不用说
without you needing to say one single word.
如果我觉得…
If I feel…
-悲伤 -害怕
-Sad. Afraid.
或是孤独
Or alone.
巴什14. 3手♥机♥切换到生活设定后
The BASH 14. 3 phone, when set to the life setting,
它马上通过血压查到了我的心情
instantly senses my mood through blood pressure…
还有心跳…
-Uh, heartbeats and-
你的脉搏显示 你很悲伤
Your vitals show that you are sad.
这会让你振作起来 彼得
This will cheer you up, Peter.
你是我最好的朋友
♪ You are my best friend You are my best friend ♪
你是我的挚友 你让我开心 挚友
♪ You make me happy… ♪
太棒了
Oh, that’s wonderful.
那段视频
That video. Um…
而且它真的会预约
It also, seriously, uh, schedules
附近的专业诊治疗程
a therapy session with a nearby professional,
确保忧伤的情绪不会再回来
so we can make sure that these sad feelings never ever ever return.
-我可以说句话吗 伊舍威尔先生？ -不可以
-May I say something, Mr. Isherwell? No.
为了支持巴什来福手♥机♥ 我要正式宣布…
And to support, uh, BASH LiiF, uh, I wanna officially announce…
手♥机♥都给我 这不是你们的
Oh, give me the phones. They’re not yours.
说再见
Say bye.
再见 伊舍威尔先生
Bye, Mr. Isherwell.
再见 彼得
Bye, Peter.
我爱你 彼得
Um, I love you, Peter.
小狗抱公鸡的视频真的能优化
Are you sure the video of the puppy on the rooster
幼年感记忆消费群体的表现吗？
is optimizing our prepubescent sense memory consumer sector?
我觉得鸟类很吓人
I find the bird quite threatening.
我们一定会核对这部分数据
We will cross-check the data on that, for sure.
伊舍威尔先生 保罗德班特让我把这个给你
Mr. Isherwell, Paul Debent wanted me to give this to you.
他是从一个墨西哥的 天文学家朋友那里拿到的
He got it from an astronomer friend of his in Mexico.
天啊
Oh, my.
（纽约先驱报）
这件事我们还有谁的确认 阿杜尔？
What other confirmation do we have on this, Adul?
我和华盛顿的奥格尔索普博士聊过 他确认了这件事和相关计算
I’ve spoken to Dr. Oglethorpe in DC and he confirmed it and all the math.
我还给哥伦比亚大学的 弗兰克斯博士看了
Then I showed it to Dr. Franks at Columbia,
他都惊呆了
and he almost fell out of his chair.
说实话 我一开始还很怀疑
So, look, I have to admit. I was very skeptical at first,
但一切都很可信
but this is all quite credible.
计算很可靠
The calculations are credible.
天啊
Jesus.
总统真的说了要静观？
And the president really said to sit tight?
-是的 -“静观其变”
Yes. That’s correct. “Sit tight and assess. ”
她可能在操心中期选举
She’s probably worried about the midterms.
我们得快速行动
We need to move fast.
联邦部门会声称他们违反保密协议
The feds will claim breach of security,
给他们两个找一个公益律师
so make sure these two get a pro bono attorney.
-你们可以用我的律师 -你现在肯定付得起费用
You can use my attorney. You can certainly afford it now.
我们要雇用律师？
We’re gonna hire a lawyer?
-没这个必要 -我觉得有必要
That wasn’t necessary. It was.
不好意思
I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Sorry.
没这个必要
That was not called for.
我有个问题
I just have a question here.
我们只是告诉人们
How is it criminal if we just tell people,
告诉公众我们所看到的东西 告诉他们真♥相♥ 怎么就成犯罪了？
like the public, you know, what we saw, and tell them the truth?
他上节目前要确保让他接受媒体训练
Make sure this one gets media training before he hits the shows.
他看起来反应慢了半拍
He seems a step slow.
我需要媒体培训是什么意思？
What does that mean, I need media training?
他们希望我们 参加《天天揭底》节目
They want us on a show called The Daily Rip
要在文章出版前一早就赶过去
first thing in the morning before the article comes out.
知道《天天揭底》是什么节目吗？
You guys know what The Daily Rip is?
那是最棒的节目 大家都想上
It’s like the best show. Everyone wants to be on it.
布里和杰克之间的火花太赞了
Brie and Jack have legendary chemistry.
他们曾经邀请我去过一次
They asked me to go on once.
我兴奋到连续两晚睡不着
I was so excited I couldn’t sleep for two nights,
但后来因为时长把我剪掉了
but then they cut me for time.
现在想起来我依然很难过
Still hurts me to think about that.
我知道你说的是哪个节目 我妻子爱看
I know what show you’re talking about. My wife loves that show.
你能告诉我到底怎么回事吗？
Okay, can you just tell me what this is all about? Okay?
你没读我写的关于 康隆在美术课上硬起来的文章
‘Cause you haven’t read my article on Conlon getting hard in the art class.
现在阿杜尔格雷利奥 屈尊来处理你的事
Now Adul Grelio has come down from his mountaintop for your thing.
而你一个字都不透露给我？拜托
You won’t even give me a lousy pronoun? Come on.
一颗比灭绝恐龙的小行星 还要大的彗星
A comet, bigger than the asteroid that destroyed the dinosaurs,
正朝地球撞过来
is headed directly at Earth.
如果不改变它的运行轨道 整个地球就完了
If it isn’t deflected, the entire planet dies.
等等 你刚才说什么？
Wait, what did you just say?
是游戏里的情节
It’s for a video game.
你认真的吗？
Are you being serious?
是的
Yes.
哦 我的天
Oh, my God.
哦 我的天！搞什么啊？
Oh, my God! What the fuck, man?
我也爱你 好 是的
I love you too. All right. Yeah.
两位 我们得往前走了
Hey, guys, we gotta keep walking, all right?
走吧
Come on.
-是明迪博士和迪比亚斯基小姐吧？ -对
-You must be Dr. Mindy and Miss Dibiasky? Yes.
你们能来参加节目 杰克和布里非常高兴
Jack and Brie are so excited to have you on the show.
真的吗？他们认识我们？
Really? They know who we are?
白宫否认和他们见过面
White House is denying they even met with them.
混♥蛋♥永远是混♥蛋♥
Well, assholes will always be assholes.
（《天天揭底》）
你们好 我是塔利亚
Hi, I’m Thalia.
《先驱报》让我来给你们选服装
The Herald sent me to help with your wardrobe.
我不♥穿♥这个
Oh, I’m not wearing that.
你的脸部结构其实挺棒的
Yeah, you actually have really great facial structure.
我把胡子往下剃一点…
How ’bout if we trim this beard down a little bit and–
我喜欢你的头发
I love your hair.
谢谢
Thank you.
我们要怎么分工？我说一下发现过程
How are we gonna do this? I talk about the discovery and you…
你说一下采取行动的紧迫性
talk about how urgent it is that we take action.
我们要怎么说？我的意思是…
How do we say it? I mean…
-我们应该练习一下 写好稿子吗？ -要喝点水吗？
-Shouldn’t we practice it or write it out? Can I get you some water?
水 好的 水就可以
Yeah, water. Yeah, water would be nice.
你来了
You are here now. You are here now. You are here now.
吃葡萄不吐葡萄皮儿
Eleven benevolent elephants. Eleven benevolent elephants.
我要吃点赞安诺
-Just gonna take some Xanax. Hmm.
有时候我会吃…
I take it sometimes when I…
凯特 这次不行
Kate, not this time. Not this time.
他需要深呼吸 开口说话 明白吗？
He just needs to breathe and speak up. You know?
他可以的 我知道他能做到
He’s got this. I know he does.
哦 天啊 冷静
Oh, God. Come on.
你来了
You are here now. You are here now. You are here now.
哦 天啊！
Oh, God!
我都说了 别再喝便宜酒了
You gotta stop drinking the cheap shit.
-就两杯 -是哦 两杯半
-It’s only two glasses. Yeah, two and a half.
-倒计时20秒 -总是迟到