不要抬头（2021）

-嘿 凯特 不要 -凯特
Kate, don’t. Kate. Kate.
他们在彗星上发现了稀奇的金银财宝
They found a bunch of gold and diamonds and rare shit on the comet.
所以他们要让它撞击地球
So they’re gonna let it hit the planet
让一群富人变得更他妈富有！
to make a bunch of rich people even more disgustingly rich!
Fuck you!
不要录像！
No camera!
…我都说了 他们就是不听
…everything I could, they won’t listen.
真是惊喜
Surprise, surprise.
我开始觉得你就是喜欢煽动人群
Now, I’m starting to think you just like riling people up.
很抱歉 凯特 真的
I’m so sorry, Kate. Really, I am.
哦 兰德尔 天啊
Oh, Randall. God.
布里埃文蒂呢？
Where’s Brie Evantee?
你俩不是应该在
Shouldn’t you two be playing footsie in a restaurant
只供应方块和海绵的餐厅调情吗？
that only serves cubes and foam?
她说得没错 你的行为确实有些离谱了
Well, she ain’t wrong. You did lose the thread in a big way.
那你们觉得该怎么办？网上请♥愿♥吗？
And what do you suggest we do? An online petition, huh?
你们想举着… 带着暴♥动♥人群高举抗♥议♥标牌？
You want to hold… Get a mob and hold up picket signs?
你们想推♥翻♥政♥府♥？看看现实吧
You wanna overthrow the government? I mean, look at this.
我看不见！我脑袋上套着袋子！
I can’t! My head is in a bag!
对不起 明迪博士 白宫希望她与外界隔离
Sorry, Dr. Mindy. White House wants her off the grid.
-拜托 听着… -马上
-Come on, now. Look Now.
等等 什么意思？那是什么鬼？
Wait. What does that mean? What the hell does that mean?
-“与外界隔离”是什么意思？ -嘿 凯特
-What does “off the grid” mean? Hey, Kate.
哦 天啊 凯特！你没事吧？
Oh, gosh. Kate! Are you okay?
什么都不重要了！比如虚拟货币！
泰迪 拜托！我有选择吗？
Teddy, come on! What choice do I have here?
人总是有选择的 兰德尔！
A man’s always got choices, Randall!
有时候你得做对的选择！
Sometimes you just gotta choose the good one!
凯特兰迪比亚斯基小姐
Miss Katelyn Dibiasky,
你面临的指控是泄露国♥家♥安♥全♥机密
the charges against you are violation of national security secrets,
煽动暴♥乱♥ 和损坏博乔曼波虾公♥司♥私有财产
inciting a riot, and destruction of private property owned by Bojo Mambo’s Shrimp LLC.
什么？我没有…
What? I didn’t–
但是 司法部长愿意不起诉你
However, the Attorney General is willing to not pursue prosecution
条件如下
if you will agree to the following:
“停止在任何公共媒体上露面
“The suspension of all public media appearances
不发表和迪比亚斯基彗星 以及巴什蜂窝相关的煽动性言论”
and incendiary language relating to Comet Dibiasky and BASH Cellular. ”
行了 给我吧 我不在乎了
Fine. Give it to me. I don’t give a shit anymore.
爸妈 回家真是太好了
Mom. Dad. I’m so glad to be home.
开门啊
Unlock the door.
不要谈政♥治♥ 绝不
No politics. None.
你在说什么？
What are you talking about?
我和你♥爸♥支持 彗星将会带来的工作机会
Your dad and I are for the jobs the comet will provide.
这个国家的分化已经很严重了
The divisions in this country are bad enough.
我们不希望这个家里还政见不一
We don’t want more of that in our house.
Whoa!
-慢点 孩子们 -抱歉 妈妈
-Slow down, kids. Sorry, Mom.
我为孩子们的未来感到担忧
I worry about my kids and their future.
是的 彗星会创造的工作听起来很棒
Sure, the jobs the comet’s gonna create sound great.
但假如它不安全呢？
What if it’s not safe?
现在 成千上万的人们 有着相同的疑虑…
Right now, millions of you are having these same doubts and questions
（兰德尔明迪博士）
…对即将到来的彗星感到不安
about the approaching comet.
因此巴什蜂窝
That is why BASH Cellular
联合美国政♥府♥
in conjunction with the United States Government
新建了这条免费热♥线♥ 回答你们的所有疑问
is creating a new hotline, free of charge, to answer all of your questions.
谁知道呢？也许 我是说也许 我们的某位科学家…
And who knows? Maybe, just maybe, one of our scientists…
谢谢你 夏伦 我感觉好多了
Thank you, Sharon. Makes me feel so much better.
…可以成为在动荡时期 我们可以依靠的那个朋友
…can be that friend we all need to lean on during uncertain times.
拨♥打♥1-800-532-4500 安抚您的情绪
Call 1-800-532-4500 for peace of mind.
仅支持巴什顾客拨♥打♥
Offer only available to BASH customers.
通话细节可能与其他下属公♥司♥共享 用于提升您未来的用户体验
Details of your call may be shared with other subsidiaries
您需支付数据漫游费用
to enhance your customer experience. Data and roaming charges apply.
我以为他是大使 我就在恭维他
So, I thought he was the ambassador. I was just flattering him.
他是个服务生 他现在自信心爆棚到德州那么大
Well, he was a waiter. Now he’s got an ego the size of Texas.
哦 我的天
Oh, my God.
琼 你来干什么 亲爱的？
June, what, uh… What are you doing here, sweetie?
我感觉可能不对劲 所以就…
Had a feeling something was going on and just…
我们在聊重要的事情
Well, you know, we’re discussing important business.
-这就是我们在做的事 -是啊 真的非常重要
-That’s what we’re doing. Oh, yeah, that’s really very important.
这段能跳过吗？ 就是你感觉自己很占理
Oh, can we just skip past this part, please?
而我们像犯了错一样 夹着尾巴的戏码 太无聊了
Where you get to feel self-righteous and we put our tails between our legs. It is just so boring.
“太无聊”？
Oh, it’s “so boring”?
你想跳过 因为和我丈夫上♥床♥而内疚的部分？
You wanna skip the part where you feel bad for screwing my husband?
不 我不内疚
Oh… No, I don’t feel bad.
我和兰德尔相处很愉快 我觉得问题在于
Randall and I are having a wonderful time. So, I think the question is,
是我们继续共享美好时光 还是你和他回威斯康辛？
do we keep having a wonderful time or does he go back with you to Wisconsin?
或者蒙大拿
Or Montana.
-密歇根？ -密歇根
-Michigan? Michigan.
她说得对
You know, um… she is actually right.
这是唯一的问题 所以…
That’s the only question. So…
琼 亲爱的
Well, June, sweetie…
有时候生活就是很复杂…
Sometimes in life things are, you know, they’re complicated and they just–
好吧
Oh, okay.
真快
Oh, that was fast, um…
我走之前
Well, before I go, um,
教你一下
let me just give you some instructions
-如何照顾兰德尔 -我很抱歉
on how to take care of Randall.
对 这是赞安诺 惊恐发作时吃的
Uh… Yeah, here’s the Xanax he takes for his panic attacks.
哦 天啊
Oh, gosh.
这是消沉崩溃时吃的左洛复
Here’s the Zoloft he takes for the crashing depressions.
最近不太发作了 好吧…
-Not so much recently. Okay, you know Oh!
真好 那太好了
Oh, good for you. Great.
这是治疗血压的
-Uh, this is for his blood pressure. Ow.
-不宁腿综合征 这个很有意思 -天啊
-Restless leg syndrome, that’s a fun one. God.
用来中和其他药物 导致的增重的厌食剂
Oh. Appetite suppressant to counteract the weight gain from his other meds.
还有给这位 美国最性感科学家的希爱力！
And, uh, for America’s sexiest scientist, a bottle of goddamn Cialis!
天啊
Ow! Gosh.
再见 再见 兰德尔
Goodbye. Goodbye, Randall.
看来我只能跟儿子们说
I guess I’ll just tell your sons
爸爸和我们电视里的女人上♥床♥了
that Dad’s fucking the lady on our television.
琼 我…
June, I…
我真的有一瞬间觉得能行得通的
I really thought for a second that was gonna work out.
各位 他们想控制彗星 创造更多工作
People, they wanna manage the comet to create jobs.
37%的人完全不希望彗星撞击
Thirty-seven percent don’t want the comet to hit.
这个比例下降了三个点
That’s actually down by three points.
23%的人认为根本没有彗星
And 23%, they don’t think there’s a comet at all,
这个数字在上涨
and that number is way up.
为什么比特币？老鼠币？
Not Bitcoin, RatCoin.
老鼠币
RatCoin.
是 我觉得如果你看下数字…
我想买♥♥这副墨镜
I’d like to buy these sunglasses.
你是那个在直播上 说我们都会死的女孩？
You that girl from live TV who said we’re all gonna die?
不是 你要买♥♥什么？
No. What’s your purchase?
搞没搞错？
What the fuck?
-不 就是你 肯定是你 -对 是我
-Yeah, that’s you. It’s definitely you. Yep, that’s me.
不得了 你是真正的传奇 言出必行
Holy shit. You’re a stone-cold legend. Word is bond.
我的滑板上有你的照片
I got a picture of you on my board.
他滑板上有你照片
Picture on his fucking board.
太棒了 你要买♥♥什么？
That’s great. What’s your purchase?
如果不买♥♥东西 请你离开队伍
If you don’t have one, get out of line
给后面的顾客让位
and make room for other customers.
我可以用不色情的方式 摸摸你的头发吗？
Can I touch your hair in a non-sexual way?
-滚开 -伙计 有点…
-Get the fuck away from me. Oh, dude, have some… Um…
打给迪欧戈 他会吓死 你能快速和我朋友打个招呼吗？
Call Diogo, he’ll freak out. Will you say hi to my friend?
他超喜欢你 我们爱你 我们不喜欢…
Dude, he’s obsessed with you. We love you. We don’t like…
我们也受不了奥尔林
Can’t stand Orlean, either. Yo, yo, yo! Yo!
你好吗？哟 快看…
What’s up? Yo, check out…
闭嘴 看看我们和谁在一起
Yo, shut the fuck up. Check out who we’re with.
-哟 伙计！怎么样？ -怎么样？
-Yo, bro! What up? What up?
我们要买♥♥东西 但我们没钱
I mean, we have a purchase, but we don’t have payment,
也就是说…
which is a metaphor on…
-没现金？ -而且 菲利普 我听说…
-Cash? Also, Phillip, I’ve been told…
-对 -…你写了本书