怒犯天条（1999）

你们几个已经没有什么好怕的了
None of you has anything left to fear anymore.
你们安然地坐在高权的位子上
You rest comfortably in seats of inscrutable power
用那个虚假的形象掩饰著自己 远离裁决
hiding behind your false idol, far from judgment.
生活为秘密所掩盖 不被任何他人所知
Lives shrouded in secrecy, even from one another.
但上帝知道
But not from God.
我忘了我的诅咒人偶了
Forgot my little voodoo doll.
兄弟 它还真的挺像你的 不是吗
Man, it really looks just like you, doesn’t it?
你看 如果我真的够信这个
Look, if I believed enough in this
说不定
I wonder,
拜托 我才不信巫术
Come on. I don’t believe in voodoo.
巫术
Voodoo.
但我确实很信这个
But I do believe in this.
别跑 不准跑
Don’t run! Don’t run!
骗子 骗子 你们所有人 骗子
Fakes! Fakes! All of you, fakes!
但我确实很信这个
But I do believe in this.
什么意思啊
What does that mean?
再来一个
And one to grow on.
吃口香糖吗
Gum?
来吧 没事
Go on. It’s okay.
你没做错过什么事
You’ve done nothing wrong.
这些家伙都是骗子
These guys were fakes.
你的灵魂很纯洁
You’re a pure soul.
可我打喷嚏的时候你没说 上帝保佑你
But you didn’t say God bless you when I sneezed.
洛基
Loki!
算你逃过一劫
You’re getting off light.
-洛基 -我知道 我来了
-Loki! -I know. I’m coming.
你真是幸运
You’re so lucky.
我忘了你是在这里的了 有多久了
I forgot you were down here. How long now?
到八月份就三年了
Three years this August.
我来猜猜 她是第十四名门徒
Let me guess, the 1 4th Apostle,
也没被写在圣经里 因为她是个女人
left out of the Bible because she’s a woman?
这个丫头可不是女人
This girl’s no woman.
那些不是我看见杰感到著迷的胸部吗
Oh. Those weren’t tits I saw Jay cozying up to?
什么 这个吗
What, these?
你应该比这里任何人都清楚 有胸部不见得就是个女人
You should know better than anyone here that tits don’t make a woman.
还可以带假的
Hell, the tubby, coat-wearing motherfucker’s got tits.
传统上判断一个人是否女人要看某两样东西的中间
What traditionally defines a woman falls between two things,
她的双腿
her legs.
可如你所看到的
But as you can see
我没那种东西
I lack definition.
他们有免费秀可看 我也要看
Hey, they’re getting a free show! Let me see that shit!
上帝 另一个跟梅塔特隆一样的天使
Oh, God, another angel like Metatron.
你怎么会认识梅塔特隆 她怎么会认识梅塔特隆的
How do you, How does she know Metatron?
她就是那个 最后的后裔
This is the last scion.
你是在说笑吧
You’re kidding.
哇
Wow.
我有点晕了
I’m confused.
贝萨妮 赛伦提比蒂并不算是个天使
Bethany, Serendipity here isn’t technically an angel.
她也不是一个像曾经的我和你一样的人类
Nor is she, by any means, a human being like I was and you are.
-我曾经是一个抽象的形象 -现在我彻底晕了
-I used to be an abstract. -Now I’m really confused.
缪斯为宙斯之女 共有九位 又称作文艺女神
我是一名缪斯女神 弱弱
I’m a muse, stupid.
我真要受不了了
I can’t take much more of this.
所有你 干嘛 带给人们灵感
So you, what, inspire people?
刚刚跟你朋友们一起在那边的是什么
What just went down with your friends over there,
缪斯女神不是光用来给那些石头脑袋们灵感帮他们花钱的
It doesn’t really take a muse to inspire horny retards to empty their wallets.
我原来是专长负责娱乐方面的
I used to specialize in entertainment.
比如说 一直以来前二十部卖♥♥座电影中
For example, I’m responsible for 1 9
有十九部是由我负责的
of the 20 top-grossing films of all time.
-十九部 -没错
-Nineteen? -Yeah.
那部讲一个小孩独自在家
The one about the kid by himself in his house
有两个小偷想进去 却被他打败的片子
burglars trying to come in and he fights them off,
跟我没有任何关系
I had nothing to do with that one.
也有一些人是把他们的灵魂卖♥♥给了撒旦
Somebody sold their soul to Satan
以换得票房♥上的成功
to get the grosses up on that piece of shit.
你在干什么
What are you doing stripping?
记得我是为什么才走的
Remember why I left?
因为你疲于为你的想法寻求支持却不成功
Because you were tired of getting none of the credit for your ideas.
所以我选择了抛弃缪斯女神的身份 自己来写
So I opted to quit being a muse and write for myself.
我用了两个星期来通知各方 找了个身体 五十块钱
I gave my two weeks’ notice, got a body, 50 bucks
然后来到这个世界 为自己创造机会
and got sent out into the world to make my fortune.
然后怎么了
So what happened?
剧作者的瓶颈期
Writer’s block.
你能相信吗
Can you believe it?
我 一名缪斯女神啊 看在上帝的份上
Me, a muse, for God’s sake.
我可以激发我所遇到的任何人的灵感
I can inspire anyone I meet
在一秒之内就带给他们上万亿的点子
and give out a zillion and nine ideas a second
但自己却一个都没有
but I can’t keep any for myself.
她特有的幽默感
Her quirky sense of humor.
-谁的 -上帝的
-Whose? -God’s.
你是说上帝是个女的
You’re saying God’s a woman?
难道你从没有过任何怀疑吗
Was there ever a doubt in your mind?
主通常都是以男性的身份被提到的
He’s always referred to as Him.
我可没那么写过
That’s not how I wrote it.
不过作为一个无形的女神有一点不好的就是
But one of the drawbacks to being intangible
你没法参与到编辑过程中去
is that you have no say in the editorial process.
拿笔的人总会融入他们自己的观点
The people that held the pens added their own perspective
而且所有的写手都是男的
and all the penholders were men.
所以主就变成男的了 连上帝都无法幸免
So She became a He. Doesn’t stop with God either.
整本书里都是性别歧视
The whole book’s gender-biased.
要为原罪负责的是个女人
A woman’s responsible for original sin.
意指被蛇诱惑 怂恿亚当吃下禁果的夏娃
参孙乃圣经中的一名大力士 力量来自一撮头发
剪断了参孙的力量之发的是个女人
A woman cuts Samson coif of power.
施洗者约翰为耶稣时代的一名宣道者 亦曾为耶稣施洗
要施洗者约翰的脑袋的是个女人
A woman asks for the head of John the Baptist.
再读读那本书吧
Read that book again.
女人被描述成比埃及人和罗马人加在一起
Women are painted as bigger antagonists
都还要可怕的敌人
than the Egyptians and Romans combined.
臭名昭著
It stinks.
最后的后裔 怎么会在这里
Why is the last scion here?
巴特比和洛基 他们找到回去的办法了
Bartleby and Loki. They found a way back.
-不是那个集体宽恕的神洞吧 -你知道那个洞
-Not the plenary indulgence loophole. -You know about that?
我一直都知道那东西是个坏主意
I always knew that thing was a bad idea.
把它留给天主教♥徒♥们只会销毁罪证
Leave it to the Catholics to destroy existence.
你对天主教有意见 是吧
You have issues with Catholicism, I take it?
我对任何把上帝当成是一种负担而不是恩泽的人都有意见
I have issues with anyone who treats God like a burden instead of a blessing
就像一些天主教♥徒♥
Iike some Catholics.
你们这些人不为你们的信仰所庆贺 而是为此哀叹
You people don’t celebrate your faith, you mourn it.
如果我们是错的 那什么宗教是对的
If we’re wrong, what religion is right?
这不是谁对谁错的问题
It’s not about who’s right or wrong.
没有教派知道
No denomination’s nailed it yet
因为他们太过自以为是 而无法察觉到
because they’re all too self-righteous to realize
其实你信仰什么并不重要 重要的是你有信仰
that it doesn’t matter what you have faith in, just that you have faith.
你们的心意是对的 但是你的头脑要清醒一下
Your hearts are in the right place, but your brains gotta wake up.
他们让我和沉默鲍伯也加入他们一伙了
They made me and Silent Bob part of the gang.
谁他妈的放屁了
Who fucking farted?
还没呢 现在出来了
Not born. Shit into existence.
仁慈的基♥督♥啊 这儿有人极为需要你
Sweet Christ, somebody wants you bad!
-那是什么东西 -大粪堆
-What is that thing? -An excremental.
-各各森 -什么东西
-The Golgothan. -A what?
一个粪便恶魔
A shit demon!
没有人不是女的生的!
No man of woman born!
-是你们的朋友 -这个臭家伙是来找我们的
-Friend of yours? -Is this smelly fuck with us?
它是冲著贝萨妮来的
It came for Bethany!
不要再那样抽烟了!
Smoke that motherfucker like it aingt no thang!
我今天一定要扁人
I knew I’s gonna whack somebody today!
把你的臭手拿回去
Get your fucking hand back.
抗争
Represent!
上啊 上啊 上啊
Go! Go! Go!
看来这个团伙现在是我们两个当家作主了
Looks like we’re in charge of the gang now.
到吧台后面去
Over the bar!