怒犯天条（1999）

Now, if l remember the protocol correctly
上面的人
the powers
该想法去找他们最后的后裔了
will attempt to contact the last scion.
我要你们三个
I need you three
去要了她的小命
to shuffle her loose the mortal coil.
去吧
Go.
吾乃梅塔特隆
Behold the Metatron!
圣父之使者 唯一真♥主♥之声
Herald of the Almighty and voice of the one true God!
吾乃梅塔特隆
Behold the Metatron!
圣父之使者 唯一真♥主♥之声
Herald of the Almighty and voice of the one true God!
吾乃梅塔特隆
Behold the Metatron!
圣父之使者 唯一真♥主♥之声
Herald of the Almighty and voice of the one true God!
仁慈的主啊 你一定要把整罐都喷出来吗
Sweet Jesus! Do you have to use the whole can?
你♥他♥妈♥的是谁 他妈的在我房♥间干什么
Who the fuck are you and what the fuck are you doing in my room?
被喷的是我 凶的倒是她 真是够了
I’m the one that’s soaked and she’s the one that’s surly. That’s rich.
蠢毙了
Stupid fucking,
他妈的给我滚出去 马上
Get the fuck out of here, now!
不然你想怎么样
Or you’ll do what exactly?
打我吗 用那条鱼
Hit me with that fish?
现在 给我坐到床上去 闭上嘴
Now, just sit down on the bed and shut up.
真是要命
Jesus wept!
看看我的衣服
Look at my suit.
你要拿什么随便 但不要杀害或是强♥暴♥我
Just take whatever you want, but don’t kill or rape me.
够了 我就算想强♥暴♥你也没法啊 天使们都被缴械了
Give over! I couldn’t rape you if I wanted to. Angels are ill-equipped.
看见没
See?
我就像那个肯娃娃一样被净身了
I’m as anatomically-impaired as a Ken doll.
肯娃娃是芭比娃娃的男朋友
做点有用的事 把那条毛巾递给我
Makeyourselfuseful and give me that towel.
你这个婊♥子♥ 还有你的傲慢
You bottom-feeders and your arrogance.
你以为每个人都想跟你上♥床♥啊
You think everybody’s just trying to get in your knickers.
你到底是什么
What are you?
我就是个被净身了的家伙
I’m pissed off is what I am.
是不是每一个进你房♥间的人
Do you drench everyone
都要这么被你拿灭火剂浇啊
who comes in your room with flame-retardant chemicals?
难怪你还是单身
No wonder you’re single.
呆著别动
Stand back.
正如我刚刚
As I was saying
在你的灭火大战之前所说的
prior to your fire-fighting episode
我是梅塔特隆
I am the Metatron.
别说听到这个名字你还是不明白
Don’t tell me the name doesn’t ring a bell?
你们人类真是的
You people.
没有拍成电影的事情就不值得知道 是不是
If there isn’t a movie about it, it’s not worth knowing, is it?
我是个六翼天使
I am a seraphim.
天使中等级最高的
The highest choir of angels.
你总知道天使的 对吧
You do know what an angel is, don’t you?
梅塔特隆传达上帝之声
Metatron acts as the voice of God.
在任何文档中关于有人声明上帝曾与他交谈的记载
Any documented occasion when someyahoo claims that God has spoken to them
其实和他们说话的都是我
they’re speaking to me.
要么就是他们在自言自语
Or they’re talking to themselves.
为什么上帝不自己开口
Why doesn’t God speak for Himself?
很高兴你决定加入对话了 关于这个问题的答案
Glad you decided to join the conversation. To answer that
人类不论是在听力上还是心理上都没有能力
human beings have neither the aural, nor the psychological capacity
来承受上帝真实声音所带有的巨大力量
to withstand the awesome power of God’s true voice.
一旦听到 你的思想会崩溃 心脏会炸毁
Were you to hear it, your mind would cave in and your heart would explode.
在我们了解到这点之前已经牺牲五个亚当了
We went through five Adams before we figured that one out.
那么 我怎么知道你真是天使
Well, how do I know you’re an angel?
除了之前伴随烈焰的出场 还有这可以展开的双翼
Aside from the fiery entrance and the expansive wingspan?
你还想要更多的证明
You want more proof?
好吧
Fine.
来杯龙舌兰酒怎么样
How about tequila?
我们这是在什么鬼地方
Where the hell are we?
唯一可以让你品尝到美味龙舌兰酒的地方
Only placeyou can go for good tequila.
请来两杯龙舌兰酒 还有一个空杯
Dos tequilas, porfavor, and an empty glass.
我们在墨西哥
We’re in Mexico?
事实上 我们是在一个特许的墨西哥家庭餐馆里
Actually, we’re in a franchised Mexican family eatery
就在你公♥寓♥同一条街往下走 不过
down the street from your apartment, but
尽管如此它还是挺抢眼的
it’s impressive nonetheless.
你不介意我把翅膀收起来了吧 我在尽力保持低调
You don’t mind I lost the wings, do you? I’m trying to keep our profile low.
你想让我♥干♥嘛
What do you want with me?
我要赋予你一个神圣的使命之旅
I am to charge you with a holy crusade.
我可是在堕胎所工作的
For the record, I work in an abortion clinic.
诺亚只不过是个酒鬼 看看他的丰功伟绩
Noah was a drunk. Lookwhat he accomplished.
而且又没人说要你去造方舟 你只是需要去趟新泽西
And no one’s asking you to build an ark. All you gotta do is go to New Jersey
并在一个重要的日子里去造访一间小教堂
and visit a small church on a very important day.
新泽西
New Jersey?
听起来不太像什么使命之旅
That doesn’t sound like much ofa crusade.
除了一些细节外 基本就是这样
Aside from the fine print, that’s it.
细节是什么
What’s the fine print?
阻止两名天使的进入并消除一切证据
Stop a couple of angels from entering and thus negating all existence.
等等 等一下 再说一遍
Wait, wait, wait. Repeat that.
阻止两名天使的进入
Stop a couple of angels from entering
并消除一切证据
and thus negating all existence.
我讨厌人们还得要我一个个字母地拼出来
I hate it when people need it spelled out for them.
你能不能说明一下
You might want to clarify that.
在很久以前 上帝的报复心很强 脾气也很躁
Back in the old days, God was vengeful and hot-tempered.
主的怒火诞生了
And His wrath was bore
死亡天使 名为洛基
by the Angel of Death, name of Loki.
所多玛和蛾摩拉被天火焚毁的事件
When Sodom and Gomorrah was destroyed
是洛基干的
that was Loki.
除了诺亚和他方舟上的动物们得以幸免
When the waters wiped out everything
世间万物都被其摧毁的大洪水
except Noah and his menagerie
也是洛基 他在这方面相当擅长
that was Loki, and he was good at what he did.
可是有一天
But one day
他拒绝再继续承受上帝的怒火
he refused to bear God’s wrath any longer.
-为什么 -他听从了他的朋友
-Why? -He listened to his friend
一个古利格利 名叫巴特比
a Grigori by the name of Bartleby.
古利格利
Grigori?
天使的一种 他们被称为看守者
One of the choirs of angels. They’re called Watchers.
猜猜他们干了什么
Guess what they do.
有一天 洛基去消灭所有埃及人家中的长子
So one day, Loki’s wiping out all the firstborn of Egypt,
第十次清洗
The Tenth Plague.
跟一个人说你是梅塔特隆 他们就只会茫然地盯著你
Tell a person thatyou’re the Metatron and they stare atyou blankly.
可一提起一些查尔顿·赫斯顿电影中的事
Mention something out of a Charlton Heston movie
每个人就又突然都变成神学家了
and suddenly everybody’s a theology scholar.
可不可以请你不要再打断我的话了
May I continue uninterrupted?
当他处理完那些长子后
Once he’s done with the firstborn
洛基就带著他的朋友巴特比出去喝庆功酒
Loki takes his friend Bartleby out for a post-slaughter drink.
喝了很多轮后
And over many rounds
他们就开始讨论
they get into this discussion about
以上帝之名进行杀戮是否得当
whether or not murder in the name of God is okay.
最后
And in the end
巴特比说服了洛基退出职位
Bartleby convinces Loki to quit his position
再选一个不需要杀人的
and take one which doesn’t involve slaughter.
结果
So
就这么醉醺醺地
very inebriated
洛基向上帝禀告说他要退位
Loki tells God he quits
抛下了他的烈焰宝剑
throws down his fiery sword
还对主比了一个中指
and gives Him the finger.
结果害得我们也跟著遭殃 因为就从那天开始
Which ruins it for the rest of us because from that day forward
上帝下令禁止天使再喝任何酒精饮料
God decreed that angels could no longer imbibe alcohol.
所以只能这么吐出来
Hence all the spitting.
由于他们的无礼举动
So, for their insolence
上帝下令 不论是洛基还是巴特比
God decreed that neither Loki nor Bartleby
都不被允许再度进入天堂
would ever be allowed back into Paradise.
-他们被打入地狱了 -更惨
-Were they sent to Hell? -Worse.
威斯康辛
Wisconsin
在那里一直呆到人类毁灭
for the entire span of human history.
一旦世界毁灭 他们便再也无处可去
And when the world ends, they’ll have to sit outside the gates for all eternity.
这和我有什么关系
And this has what to do with me?
有人向他们透露了天主教天条中神洞的事情
Someone has clued them in to a loophole in Catholic dogma
那会令他们重返天堂
that would allow them to reenter Heaven.