怪医杜立德 Doctor Dolittle（1998）

Hey, you want a tip on a good position?
你刚才在学狗叫
You were barking.
我太兴奋了
I’m excited.
你知道我一兴奋 就会发出各种声音
When I get excited, I make all kinds of sounds.
你以前从没学狗叫过
You never barked before.
你好
Hello.
医生，有麻烦了
Yoo-hoo, Doc. We got trouble here.
我们走
[Chattering] -Let’s go!
不，你看鸭子，我抓羊
Hey, no, no. You take care of the ducks, I’ll take the goat.
我？
Me?
好，我搞定鸭子
All right, I’ll get the ducks.
外面怎么了？
What’s going on out there?
马克来了，我得去医院谈收♥购♥案
Mark just showed up… so I’m gonna have to go over the proposal.
把它挪开 -别动
Let’s move it. -Don’t do that.
吉利在外面，它要溜溜
Lucky’s out here. He wants to go for a walk first…
我先带狗去溜溜再跟马克谈
so I got to walk Lucky, then deal with Mark.
随便你，明早见
Great. I’ll see you in the morning.
我会做早餐
I’ll be the one cooking breakfast.
明天见
Tomorrow. Ruff!
哦，你好，马克
Oh, hey, Mark. Hi, how you doing?
你们想杀了我，对吗？
You’re trying to destroy my life, all of you, aren’t you?
别动，站住
Freeze! Stop right there!
这么晚不睡觉在走道上干什么？
Why are you in the hallway this time of night?
我要上厕所
I have to go to the bathroom.
那老爸你在这做什么？
What are you doing?
我是警卫，我要确保一切无事
I’m patrolling the hallways. I’m the father. I make sure everything is safe.
你等等，不要动
You wait. Don’t you move.
之所以忍♥不住要上厕所
The reason you’re up going to the bathroom…
是因为你喝太多的水
is because you drink all those liquids.
你要懂得克制，回去睡觉
I think that you’re old enough to hold it, so go to bed.
老爸，我要上厕所
But, Dad, I have to go.
吉利在上厕所
Lucky’s in the bathroom right now.
狗在用我们的厕所？
The dog is using the bathroom?
我先去看马桶盖放好了没有
I’ll put the seat down, then it’s your turn.
你站那别动
Don’t you move from there.
怎么不敲门？
Hey! You heard of knocking?
不准出声
Hey, one quack, not one quack.
可以进来了
Here’s the toilet.
厕所很干净，你可以用了
It’s all down like y’all like it, ready for you.
没尿得到处都是，很干净
No little sprinklets on it or anything. It’s just waiting for you to come and do your thing.
老爸，我上厕所不用你监督
Dad, don’t need adult supervision.
帮我松开
Somebody get this thing off me.
快松开
Get this thing off. Uhh!
轻点，别勒我
Take it easy. Don’t gag me.
老爸，晚安
Good night, Dad.
晚安，宝贝
Good night, honey.
你差点捅篓子，快走
Let’s go. See what you almost made happen?
捅篓子？我做了什么？
What I almost made happen? What did I do?
注意，我们是羊
Beep beep. We’re the sheep. Ha ha.
不是克隆羊
Not these clones.
等等，你们要上哪去？
Where you going?
超级狗来了 -抱歉，我迟到了
Top dog. Coming through. -Sorry. Am I late?
医生，晚安
Good evening, Doctor.
少来，肥猪快出去
No. You’re gonna have to take your fat ass back out.
天啊，这是动物园吗？
Oh, my God, what a zoo.
不要犹太式
Hmm, obviously not a kosher establishment.
全都进来了
Everybody just come in.
鸡呢？
Where are the chicks? Ooh! I’m cool.
看把这儿搞得乱七八糟 -排队就医
Look at this mess. -Waiting list for patients?
我要降落了，让开
Let’s go, landing. Make way!
这里真是理想的猪窝
[Belches] Very well-appointed sty.
到底怎么了？你们在干什么？
What’s going on? What is all this?
不知道，大家告诉大家…
I don’t know. You know, tell a friend. Ha ha.
看来他们需要医生，医生
Looks like they need to talk to a doctor, Doc.
我们屁♥股♥痛
Our butts hurt.
好吧，一个一个来
OK, let’s do this.
小心别乱大便
And watch your droppings.
今晚这里是爱之家
Tonight, this is the house of love!
东岸，西岸，大集♥合♥
East Coast! West Coast! Let’s unite!
布鲁克林区？
Is Brooklyn in the house?
这能消炎
This should take care of the inflammation.
问题是谁帮你擦药？
The only problem is, who’ll wipe it on for you?
布莱德彼想要养羊吗？
Does Brad Pitt need a goat?
没什么可害羞的
It’s not something you should be ashamed of.
常见的隐疾
It happens to most men occasionally.
你的压力很大吧？
You’re probably under a lot of pressure.
他没有压力
He’s not under pressure.
它嫌我是鸽子
He’s not attracted to me, because I’m just a pigeon.
它不想做鸽子
He’s a self-hating pigeon.
才不是
That is not true.
问它成天做什么
Ask him what he does all day.
我独自坐在树上
I sit in a tree by myself.
因为它不屑与鸽群共食
Because he’s too good to eat with the rest of us… When the old people feed us in the park.
我能说话吗？
Can I say something?
它看知更鸟的胸部的眼神更变♥态♥
And the way he stares at a robin’s breasts… it’s enough to make you sick.
我喜欢橘色的胸部
I happen to be attracted to orange breasts.
你不是知更鸟
You’re not a robin.
也不是小野鸽或老鹰
You’re not a dove or a hawk.
你是鸽子，我也是家鸽
You’re a pigeon, and I’m a pigeon.
抱歉，它孵蛋太久了
She sits on the nest all day and gets crazy.
蛋孵出来还是鸽子
They’re gonna be pigeons, too.
我问你
May I ask you something?
若从这个角度看 我像不像蓝槛鸟？
If I turn this way don’t I look a little like a blue jay?
内耳不良会影响平衡
The prblem with your equilibrium… might be due to an inner ear infection.
喝酒过量也会影响
Or it may be due to this.
但我要应酬
[French accent] I’m a social drinker. Ha ha.
有很多应酬
Very social. Ha ha.
站直
Stand up. Stand up.
摸鼻子，抬脚
Touch your nose and raise your left leg.
鼻子，脚？
Nose. Leg. Huh?
你醉了
I think you’re wasted.
你试试走这条直线
Let’s see you walk this line.
我的天
Oh, my goodness. Well…
你有酗酒恶习
You have a drinking problem.
我建议你戒酒
I suggest you stop drinking…
因为你可能是个酒鬼
Because I think you might be an alcoholic.
真的？ -没人喜欢酒鬼猴子
Really? -Nobody likes a drunk monkey.
抱歉
Sorry.
你有精神功能失常症
You’re suffering from obsessive-compulsive behavior.
丢球
Throw the ball!
想接球时想想别的
When you want the ball, think about something else.
少废话，丢球就是了
Don’t say anything more! Throw the ball!
放松心情
You need to relax your mind.
你是人，丢球
You’re the person. You throw the ball.
我是狗，接球，就这么简单
I’m the dog. I get it. Simple as that.
再不丢我就尿在你地毯上
I swear, I’ll pee on your carpet.
快，快，快，丢球
Please, please, please, throw the ball.
闭嘴，丢球
Shut up and throw the ball.
喂，你听不懂啊
Am I alone here?! Am I all by myself?!
我在无人的外太空吗？
Am I in another universe?!
丢那该死的球
Throw the damn ball!
他丢球了，丢球了
He threw the ball! Oh, he threw the ball!
我来接
I’ll get it! I’ll get it!
我爱你！你丢球了
I love you! I love you! You threw the ball.
你救不了所有的人
You can’t save them all, Hasselhoff.
医生在吗？
Hey, is there a doctor in the house?
我在这里，抬起你的头
Right up here, above your head.
医生，警局不要我
They’re gonna kick me off the force.
说我是瞎子，你能帮我吗？
I’m as blind as a bat. Can you help me?
等一下好吗？ -好吧
Give me a minute, all right? -All right.
安静 -抱歉