不道德的审判（1994）

然后我听见他走开了
Then I heard him moving around.
然后听见好像是他的皮带掉在地板上
It sounded like his belt dragging on the floor.
听见了他口袋里的硬币在响
I heard the change in his pockets jangling.
听见他脱衣服的沙沙声
I heard the whisper of his clothes coming off…
然后, 突然之间, 他扑在了我的身上
and, suddenly, he was on top of me…
淌着口水
slobbering sick ideas.
他使劲地插了进来
He pushed himself in.
天哪, 好疼
And, God, it hurt…
像火烧一样
like fire.
我大声尖叫
I screamed.
就像他们电击我时大声尖叫一样
I screamed as hard as when they shocked me…
但是他没有停下来, 他没有
but he wouldn’t stop. He wouldn’t stop.
我爱你
I love you.
让我来抱抱你吧, 宝莱尔
Let me hold you, Paulie.
我不相信你
I don’t trust you.
你明白吗? 我做不到
Understand? I can’t.
对不起, 我知道你恨我, 这样说, 但我做不到
I’m sorry. I know you hate me saying it, but I am sorry.
他干完了之后
And after he’d finished…
就把音乐关了, 然后对我说再见
he turned the music off and said good-bye…
然后油腔滑调的对我说：
with one of his pet phrases…
“宝贝, 你的骨头没有断吧? ”
“No bones broken, right, baby? ”
我知道是他
I know it’s him.
我肯定
I’m positive.
你要对他怎么样?
What do you want?
我的第一个念头就是要强♥奸♥他
My first thought was that I wanted to rape him.
我是在想
That’s what I thought…
他应该知道被强♥奸♥的滋味
that he should know what it’s like…
但女人不能强♥奸♥男人
but a woman can’t rape…
所以我觉得应该由你来做
so I thought it would be something you would have to do.
宝莱尔, 别这样
Paulie, please.
但对你来说, 可能是勉为其难了
It would be difficult for you.
毕竟, 你还需要刺♥激♥才能兴奋起来
After all, you need a certain amount of enthusiasm.
住口
Stop it.
然后我想是不是可以用扫把柄来捅他
Then I wondered maybe I should use a broomstick.
够了
That’s enough.
我知道这很可笑
I know it’s ridiculous.
很可笑是因为没有什么报复可以使我满意
It’s ridiculous because no revenge can satisfy me.
这是他们所希望的残暴和控制别人
That’s what they’re about… crude power and control.
我不想强♥奸♥他
I don’t want to fuck him.
我也不想杀了他
I don’t want him dead. L…
我只想
I want him…
让他对我说话
to talk to me.
我想让他承认罪行
I want him to confess.
认罪?
To confess?
我想用录像带
I want to get him on videotape…
把他认罪时说的话录下来 这对我们大家来说都是一个解脱
confessing to everything he did, not just to me, to all of us.
他认罪之后, 你会让他走吗?
After he’s confessed, you’ll let him go?
我不相信你
I don’t believe you.
你别无选择
You have to. You have no choice.
如果他确有悔改的话, 我会让他走的
If he repents, I will let him go.
这样你和你的委员会都不会受影响
You and your commission will be safe.
有了一盘他认罪的录像带
With a taped confession…
他就无法派杀手来, 也无法去找警♥察♥
he won’t send thugs or go to the police…
不然我会通过电视把录像带放出来
or the video would be all over the TV…
我不会杀他
and I’ll let him live.
就像你说的我们这个让人伤感的国家一样
As you say about our sad country, Gerardo…
我会让过去的都过去的
I will let the past become the past.
我们会继续我们的生活吗?
We’ll get on with our lives?
对, 我们还要在他的阴影下生活
Yes. We’ll have to. We’ll have to live with him.
如果他拒不认罪呢?
What if he refuses?
告诉他如果他不肯合作我会杀了他
Tell him if he refuses, then he’s dead.
你是认真的吗?
Is that a real threat?
他所做的罪行是不能宽恕的
What happened to you can’t be condoned in any way.
你必须这样做, 你要去劝他
You have to do this. You have to convince him.
你别无选择
There’s no other way.
万一出现奇迹
What if by some incredible miracle…
这只是一种巧合
this is just some crazy coincidence?
万一他是无辜的呢?
What if he’s innocent?
如果他是无辜的话, 那是他倒霉了
If he’s innocent, then he’s really fucked.
把它关掉好吗?
Will you please turn that off?
知道吗, 她是不准我靠近你的
Know that I’m not allowed to come near you.
她的枪口是对准我们两个的
She’s got the gun on us both.
别开玩笑了, 你是她的同谋
Don’t kid yourself. You’re an accomplice.
你可以结束今晚的事情
You can end it.
这是一个游戏
This is a charade.
你们一个扮白脸 一个扮黑脸
You’re playing good cop/bad cop.
我也是受害者
I’m a victim, too.
你又没有被绑起来
Not from where I sit.
米兰塔医生, 你有没有
Dr. Miranda, are you…
我的好朋友罗布多去哪里了?
What happened to Roberto?
我们不再是朋友了吗?
We’re not friends anymore?
你知不知道秘密警♥察♥用医生
Are you aware the secret police used doctors…
当他们的拷打助手的事情?
as torture session consultants?
世人皆知
Everybody knows.
医生联合会对此进行了谴责
The Medical Association denounced it.
我在上面签了名的
I signed their petition.
警♥察♥没有让你也加入进去?
You weren’t asked to participate?
我告诉过你
I told you.
我当时并不在这个国家
I wasn’t even in the country.
哦, 我真的没有办法
Oh, this is hopeless.
如果你不想死的话, 你就要承认
If you don’t want to die, you’ll confess.
什么?
What?
她保证如果你认罪, 而且对以前的事表示悔恨的话
She’s promised if you confess and show remorse…
她会放了你的
she’ll let you go.
天哪, 你和他们没有什么区别
My God. You’re no different from them…
威胁我如果我不说就杀了我
threatening to kill me if I don’t confess.
我还以为你是一个民♥主♥人士, 一位律师
You’re supposed to be a democrat, a lawyer…
一位信奉正义的人
a man who believes in justice.
她对你干了什么? 你干吗要听她的话
What’s she got on you? What’s her power over you?
她没有对我♥干♥什么
It’s not power.
那为什么你要这样?
What is it?
我是感激她, 爱她
Gratitude and love.
她救过我的命, 行了吧?
She saved my life, OK?
这是怎么回事?
What’s this all about?
她为什么会被拷打?
Why was she tortured? What did that…
你知道为什么
You know why.
我不知道, 我什么都不知道!
I don’t. I don’t understand anything!
我的眼睛里是什么? 是血吗?
What’s that in my eyes, blood?
是不是血?
Is that blood?
等等
Wait a minute.
他流血了
Listen, he’s bleeding.
我把它擦了, 行吗?
I’m going to wipe it off. Is that OK?
好的
Go ahead.
怎么了? 告诉我
What’s going on? Tell me.
当时发生了什么事?
What’s this about?
记得当时有一份地下报纸, 《解放报》吗?
Remember one of the underground newspapers, “Liberation”?
记得, 谢谢
Sure. Thanks.
是吗? 你说过你1977年在巴塞罗那的
Really? You said you were in Barcelona in 1977.
那些报纸大家都知道的
Everybody knew about those papers. Come on.
我不知道当时是不是有叫《解放报》的报纸
I don’t know whether one was called “Liberation.”
我只是记得当时
I just remember people talking…
人们说过有地下报纸
about protest papers later when l…
好了, 这也不证明什么东西
It’s OK. It doesn’t prove anything anyway.
没事
It doesn’t matter.
那时候有7种地下报纸
There were seven illegal broadsides.
我是学生报纸《解放报》的编辑
I was the editor of the student paper “Liberation.”
我们自我保护, 互相之间不联♥系♥的
We protected ourselves. No one knew each other.
宝莱尔每周天黑的时候出去
Paulina went to the blind drops each week…
把匿名作者的文章带回来给我
and brought me our anonymous contributors’ articles.
她是唯一知道我身份的人
She was the only one who knew my identity…