死侍

对于这一切 很抱歉我离开了
For everything, I’m sorry for leaving.
很抱歉没有早点鼓起勇气
I’m sorry for not cowboying up sooner.
我这几年过得很惨
It’s been rough couple of years.
惨
Rough?
我跟瘾君子们住破房♥子里
I live in a crackhouse.
和一家十二口一起住
With a family of 12.
每晚我们都抱在一起取暖
Every night we spoon for warmth.
人人都要抢诺艾尔 因为她最胖
Everybody fights for Noelle. She’s the fattest.
我们共用一切东西
There’s nothing that we don’t share.
屋内空间 牙线 甚至是套套
Floor space, dental floss, even condoms.
你还能住上房♥子
So, you live in a house.
我应该早点来找你的
I should have come and found you sooner.
但是 宝贝 面具下的这个人
But, baby, the guy under this mask,
他已经不是你记忆中的那个人了
he ain’t the same one that you remember.
你是指这张面具吗
You mean this mask?
还有这张
And this one.
以防我头套掉了
In case the other fell off.
好吧 轻点
All right. Yeah, just…
像撕创可贴一样 只要再
Like a Band-Aid, just give it a…
加点马力
Owdie 5,000.
等一下 等一下
Wait, wait, wait…
你确定吗
Are you sure?
确定
I’m sure.
是啊
Yeah.
只要花点时间适应
After a brief adjustment period,
再来几杯酒下肚
and a bunch of drinks,
我很乐意
it’s a face
坐在这张脸上
I’d be happy to sit on.
我的身体也不一样了
I’m not the same underneath this suit, either.
不一样了
No.
超级大屌♥
Super-penis.
拜托 韦德 注意用语
Come on, Wade. Language.
有小孩子在场呢
Young one is present.
你俩还在磨蹭什么
What are you still doing?
快滚吧 去干点有意义的事
Get out of here. Go make yourself useful!
你 去做某人的好大哥去吧
You, go be a really big brother to someone.
叫野兽别在我♥草♥坪上拉屎了
Tell Beast to stop shitting on my lawn.
还有你 鸡汤挂面
And you, chicken noodle.
《你无可替代》
Nothing compares to you.
西尼德·奥康娜 1990年发行
Sinead O’Connor, 1990.
抱歉没忍♥住
Sorry.
没事 你挺酷的
That’s all right. You’re cool.
真是见鬼了
What in the ass?
那句话一点也不刻薄 我真为你骄傲
That was not mean. I’m proud of you!
我们会让你成为X战警的 韦德
We will make an X-Man of you yet, Wade.
你知道吗 有那么一秒钟
You know, for a second there,
我觉得我们就像是三头小机器狮子
it felt like we were three mini-lion robots,
合体变身成为战神金刚
coming together to form one super robot.
其中有个傻子
There’s a stupid.
是啊
Yeah.
现在 到我一直期盼的一刻了
And now, for the moment I’ve all been waiting for.
过来
Come here.
威猛乐队
Wham!
说好了的
As promised.
瞧见没
See?
要想得到一个女孩你不一定得是英雄
You don’t need to be a superhero to get the girl.
你的真命天女会让你成为英雄的
The right girl will bring out the hero in you.
现在 让我们拍完这个史诗般的广角镜头
Now, let’s finish this epic wide shot.
镜头拔远
Pull out.
就这样 看起来很棒
There we go, that looks nice.
这会是今晚唯一一个要拔出去的东西
That’s gonna be about the only thing that’s pulling out tonight.
谁不喜欢皆大欢喜的结局呢
Who doesn’t love a happy ending, huh?
我们下次再见
‘Til next time,
这里是你们友好的邻居侍侍在演唱
this is your friendly neighborhood pool guy singin’…
我再也不会这样起舞
I’m never gonna dance again
如同我与你共舞一般
The way I danced with you
结尾有彩蛋
致敬电影《春天不是读书天》
你怎么还在这里
You’re still here?
结束啦
It’s over.
回家吧
Go home.
你是在等《死侍2》的预告是吧
Oh, you’re expecting a teaser for Deadpool 2.
我们可没钱拍那个
Well, we don’t have that kind of money.
你等什么呢 等塞缪尔·杰克逊现身吗
What are you expecting? Sam Jackson to show up?
戴着个眼罩 身穿时髦的小皮衣
With an eye patch and a saucy little leather number?
走吧 走吧
Go. Go.
但有件事我可以告诉你 算是个小秘密
But I can tell you one thing, and it’s a bit of a secret.
在续集中
For the sequel,
电索将会登场
we’re gonna have Cable.
很棒的角色
Amazing character.
有只机械臂 能穿越时空
Bionic arm, time travel.
我们不知道这个角色将由谁来扮演
We have no idea who we’re gonna cast yet,
但任何人都有可能
but it could be anybody.
找个剪平头的壮汉就行了
Just need a big guy with a flat top.
可能是梅尔·吉布森 杜夫·龙格尔
Could be Mel Gibson, Dolph Lundgren…
凯拉·奈特莉 她戏路挺广的
Keira Knightley. She’s got range.
谁知道呢
Who knows.
总之 这是个大秘密
Anyway, big secret.
还有 别把垃圾扔得满地都是
Oh, and don’t leave your garbage all lying around.
这种行为超烂的
It’s a total dick move.
走吧
Go.