死侍

别过脸去 孩子
Look away, child.
转过去
Look away!
等等
Wait!
等等
Wait!
停火
Cease fire!
停火
Cease fire!
伙计们
Fellas!
你们只是为那个糊了屎的蠢货打工而已
You only work for that shit-spackled muppet fart.
所以我决定给你们一个机会
So, I’mma give you a chance
只要你们放下武器
for y’all to lay down your firearms,
便可以优先换来近乎温柔的
in exchange for preferential, bordering on gentle,
乃至于恋人般的对待
possibly even lover-like treatment.
好吧
Fine.
不♥穿♥内♥裤♥
Commando!
尝尝我的茶包
Teabag!
鲍勃
Bob?
韦德
Wade?
天啊 上次见你还是在…
Oh, my God, I haven’t seen you since…
-杰克逊维尔 -星期五餐厅
– Jacksonville. Fridays. – Since TGI Fridays.
真是日了狗了
Well, what the hell!
老天 过来
God, come here, you.
你孩子们怎样 都还好吗
How are the kids? Good?
还有盖尔 她还会做金枪鱼砂锅吗
And Gail, she still fixing that tuna casserole?
太好吃了 但不利于保持腰围
So good. But bad for the waistline,
假如你懂我的意思的话
if you know what I’m talking about.
左边 你很漂亮
Your… On the left. You are beautiful woman.
你真贴心
That is so sweet.
谢谢
Thanks.
他也会给你写小纸条吗
Does he write you notes too?
真是个情圣啊
He’s such a romantic.
别担心 宝贝 我来了
Don’t worry, baby. I’m comin’.
开火
Fire!
上来
Climb on!
哎哟我♥操♥
Motherfucking…
这畜生应该穿上他屎黄色的裤子
Motherfucker should have worn his brown pants.
你说得对 美人
You were right, beautiful.
红色真的很适合我
Red really is my color.
韦德
Wade?
别担心 宝贝
Don’t worry, baby.
我会把你救出那个破盒子的
I’mma get you out of that shit-box.
还有什么更好的方法能再钻进你的脑子呢
What better way to crawl back inside that head of yours?
你一直在
Oh, you never left.
但你离开了 混♥蛋♥
But you did, asshole!
深呼吸 亲爱的
Ah, deep breath, darling.
等等
Oh, wait.
不该这么说
Wrong choice of words.
希望他们把你每条神经上的痛觉都阻断了
I hope they blocked pain to your every last nerve.
因为我会一根根检查的
‘Cause I’mma go lookin’!
听说你缺胳膊少腿还能再长出来 韦德
I hear you grow back body parts now, Wade.
等我把你剁成渣
When I’m finished,
看你从哪长出来
parts will have to grow back you.
这狠话好
Good one.
没错 这狠话确实说得好
Yep, that was a good one.
来跳舞吧
Let’s dance.
我所说的跳舞
And by dance, I mean,
是来拼个你死我活
let’s try to kill each other.
行啊 上拳头吧
Fine. Fists.
你上周六晚就玩过拳♥交♥吧
Oh, sounds like your last Saturday night.
混账
Asshole!
坚持住 宝贝
Hang in there, baby!
-韦德 -抓住了
– Wade! – I gotcha!
我有个主意 但你不会喜欢的
I got a plan. You’re not gonna like it.
妈的 妈的
Shit! Shit! Shit!
别担心 情况完全在我控制之中
Don’t worry. I’m totally on top of this.
该死
Damn it!
全力以赴
Maximum effort!
谢了
Thanks.
慢慢来
Just take it slow.
老天 真是太…
Oh, my God! That was so…
没什么可说的了
There are no words!
你要帮我修好这张脸
Me and you are headed to fix this butterface.
什么
What?
你个傻缺
You stupid fucking idiot.
你真的觉得有办法治好你的脸吗
Did you really think there was a cure… for that?
什么
What?
你听见我说的了
You heard me.
不
No.
不
No!
所以 你的意思是
So, you mean to say,
闹了这么大一出 你却治不好我
after all this, you can’t fix me?
这话由你说出来后听着就更蠢了
It sounds even stupider when you say it.
是蠢到毁掉唯一一个
Like the kind of stupid who admits
我让你活着的理由吗
he can’t do the one thing I’m keeping him alive for?
有遗言吗
Any last words?
我的名字是什么
What’s my name?
谁他妈在乎啊
Who fucking cares?
韦德
Wade!
只需要四五个瞬间
Four or five moments.
什么
I’m sorry?
只需要四五个瞬间 仅此而已
Four or five moments, that’s all it takes.
就能
To?
成为英雄
Be a hero.
大家都以为英雄是份全职工作
Everyone thinks it’s a full-time job.
起床时是英雄 刷牙时是英雄
Wake up a hero, brush your teeth a hero,
去工作时是英雄
go to work a hero.
并非如此
Not true.
一辈子当中
Over a lifetime,
只有四五个瞬间是真正要紧的
there are only four or five moments that really matter.
就是那些你面临选择的瞬间
Moments when you’re offered a choice.
可以选择做出牺牲 克服缺点
To make a sacrifice, conquer a flaw,
拯救朋友
save a friend,
饶恕敌人
spare an enemy.
在那些瞬间
In these moments…
一切都烟消云散了
everything else falls away.
这个世界看待我们的方式
The way the world sees us.
我们看待…
The way we…
为什么
Why?
你哔哔个不停
You were droning on.
没错 也许我今后只能像块意大利香肠面包了
Sure, I may be stuck looking like pepperoni flatbread,
但至少这个渣滓活不过来了
but at least fuckface won’t heal from that.
假如穿上超级英雄紧身衣
If wearing superhero tights,
意味着饶疯子一命
means sparing psychopaths,
那或许我注定不该穿它们
then maybe I wasn’t meant to wear ’em.
不是每个人都跟你一样道德感泛滥
Not everyone monitors a hall like you.
向我保证
Just promise…
行了行了 我会留神剩下的
Yeah, yeah, I’ll be on the lookout for the next
那四个瞬间的
four moments.
糟糕
Oh, shit.
恕我失陪
Now, if you’ll excuse me,
我只是个男孩
I’m just a boy,
准备站到一个女孩面前
about to stand in front of a girl,
告诉她
and tell her…
我他妈该告诉她些什么啊
What the fuck am I gonna tell her?
你最好想明白了
Well, hmm, you better figure it out.
我都没法告诉你…
I can’t even tell you…
我活该受这一下 还有这一下
I deserved that. That, too.
不不不 下面还是算了吧
No, no, no, maybe not the nethers.
好好交待
Start talking!
对不起
I’m sorry.
真的很抱歉
I’m so sorry.