死侍2：我爱我家

他们在地下室关了一个大怪兽
they keep a monster in the basement.
埋下了一个巨大又呼之欲出的伏笔
Right next to a huge, steaming bowl of foreshadowing.
听着
Look.
我没法保护你
I can’t protect you.
只要戴着这个项圈
With this collar on,
我的超能力就只有脱缰的癌症
my superpower is just unbridled cancer.
给我一把弓和箭 我基本就是鹰眼了
Give me a bow and arrow, I’m basically Hawkeye.
不好意思
Now, if you’ll excuse me…
我还要慢慢长肿瘤 凡妮莎还在等我
I’ve got tumors to grow. Vanessa awaits.
我要给我们做个称手的家伙
I’ll start by making us a shank.
-行吧 -我偷了警卫的笔
– Good listening. – I stole that guard’s pen…
藏在了监狱传统储物处
and stashed it in the old prison wallet,
如果你听得懂的话
if you know what I’m saying.
我真希望我听不懂你说的话
I really hope I don’t know what you’re saying.
我知道就在里面 就是得拿出来
I know it’s in there, I just need to get it out.
上帝啊
Oh, Jesus Christ.
我可以听到你在里面翻找的声音
I can hear you rummaging around in there.
他们会提供洗耳朵的洗液吗
Do they make Purell for your ears?
现在为你播报之前那则新闻的后续
And to update you on the story reported earlier,
在变种人康复机构
after a lengthy standoff
艾瑟斯之家外进行长时间的僵持之后
outside the Essex House for Mutant Rehabilitation…
两名变种人被捕
two mutants were arrested
并被送往冰盒
and transported to the Ice Box…
进入修复模式
Entering repair mode.
多辆警车被毁
…several police cars were destroyed
X战警也到场恢复秩序
and the X-Men were called in to restore order.
七号♥监狱和九号♥监狱
Cells seven and nine
现向医疗人员开放
now off-limits for medical personnel.
七号♥监狱和九号♥监狱
Cells seven and nine
现向医疗人员开放
now off-limits for medical personnel.
别那么做
Don’t do that.
什么 你为什么要冲我眨眼
What? Why are you winking at me?
我罩着你
I got your back.
天啊
Oh, my God.
你病了 我要保护你
You’re sick, I gotta protect you.
别来烦我 孩子
Just leave me alone, kid.
太好了
Oh, great.
你们好 新来的
Well, hello there, new fish.
见到几张新面孔可真不错
It’s nice to see some fresh faces around here.
我拍过几张封面照
I’ve done some light catalog work…
但是做模特其实只是进军演艺界的跳板
but, really, modeling is just a stepping stone to acting.
我是在和他说话
I was talking to him.
我们见过吗 我记不得你的小胡子了
Have we met? I can’t place your mustache.
布莱克[黑]·汤姆·卡西迪
Black Tom Cassidy.
怀特[白]·韦德·威尔逊
White Wade Wilson.
你的超能力是什么 文化掠夺吗
What’s your superpower? Cultural appropriation?
这里都传你是个最难搞定的家伙
You’re supposed to be the toughest cunt in here.
我倒是觉得看起来不像啊
You don’t look like much to me.
号♥子的首要准则 混♥蛋♥
First rule of the yard, fuckface…
找到块头最大的家伙 把他变成…
find the biggest guy and make him your…
第二大的
Second biggest guy.
我现在可不想染上肝炎
The last thing I need is more hepatitis.
这也太滑了 这桌子要擦一下
Oh, it’s slippery, too. This table needs a wipe down!
能不能把这桌子擦一下
Can we get a wipe down on the table?
孩子 我觉得你站错边了
Kid, I think you picked the wrong side.
不 我没有 他是我的朋友
No, I didn’t! He’s my friend!
闭嘴 我们不是朋友
Zip it. We’re not friends.
你要被我暴揍了
You’re about to get dick-slapped.
我真是太爽了 你就…
I had so much fun! You were like…
我就说”坐下 混♥蛋♥”
And I was like, “Take a seat, shit dick.”
让我安详地去吧
Just let me die in peace.
我们是完美的团队
We make a great team!
天啊 我们不是团队
Oh, God! We’re not a team.
你之前为什么那么说 我们是朋友 搭档
Why’d you say that back there? We’re friends, partners.
我们不是搭档 或朋友
We’re not partners or friends.
结局不会是我们奔向落日
This doesn’t end with us riding into the sunset.
而是我死于癌症
It ends with me dying of cancer…
你赢下了冰盒最柔软嘴巴奖
and you winning the Ice Box award for softest mouth.
全世界我只在乎一个人
There’s only one person in this world that I care about,
而她死了
and she’s gone.
你想活下来吗
You wanna survive?
别再想着搞定块头最大的家伙了…
Stop trying to shank the biggest guys in here…
跟他们做朋友
and make friends with them.
找个人做朋友
Make friends with someone.
除我之外的任何人
Anyone but me.
布莱克·蒂姆也行
Maybe even Black Tim.
还是布莱克·伊万 我也不知道
Black Evan, I don’t know.
我只记得他是非裔的
All I remember is he was African-American.
系统故障
System malfunctioning.
7号♥ 12号♥ 14号♥ 27号♥监狱
Cells 7, 12, 14, 27.
回到牢房♥里 你们这些肮脏的变种人 回去
Back in your cells, you filthy mutants! Get in there!
1号♥ 3号♥ 7号♥ 8号♥监狱
Cells 1, 3, 7, 8.
搜索中
Searching.
定位4号♥监狱
Cell 04 located.
韦德·威尔逊
罗素·柯林斯
门打不开
Door won’t open!
给我跪下
On your fucking knees!
那是我们的监狱
That was our cell.
我怎么惹了一个
What did I do to piss off a grumpy old fucker
冬兵胳膊的家伙
with a Winter Soldier arm?
离我远一点 孩子
Get away from me, kid!
听我说 快跑
Listen to me! Go!
你好 罗素
Hello, Russell.
你是谁
Who are you?
我是蝙蝠侠
I’m Batman.
真是电力十足
Oh. That’s got some zip.
别难过 我自己都弄不死我自己
Don’t feel bad. Even I can’t kill me.
快说
Talk!
什么样的孬种会想杀死一个14岁的孩子
What kind of spineless shit stick tries to kill a 14-year-old boy?
你最好还是赶紧开口
You might wanna start talking!
因为我以前可是经常在这种时候开枪的
‘Cause I got a long history of firing at times like this!
我叫电索
The name’s Cable.
我来自未来 别插手
I’m from the future. Just walk away.
你来自未来
So, you’re from the future.
那我有三个问题
I have three questions then.
一 回响贝斯还流行吗
One, is dubstep still a thing?
二 那时候还有家酿酒吗
Two, do people still homebrew?
三 都朋德找到真爱了吗
And three, does Dopinder ever find love?
小娘们才玩回响贝斯
Dubstep’s for pussies.
你好黑暗
You’re so dark!
你确定你不是从DC宇宙过来的吗
Are you sure you’re not from the DC universe?
我爱回响贝斯
I love dubstep!
那是个腰包吗
Is that a fanny pack?
我1990年后就没见过这玩意了
I used to have one of those in 1990-never.
这可以用来纪念你
Something to remember you by.
还给我 我去哪儿都会带着这枚硬币
Give me that back! That goes with me everywhere.
就像你关于腰包的记忆一样
Like the memory of your fucking fanny pack!
你为什么要保护那孩子
Why are you protecting the kid?
我才不在乎他
I don’t give a fuck about him…
以及他的《你是我的妈妈吗》系列
and his Are You My Mother? complex!
这是用来干什么的
What’s this one do?
所有电影中 英雄都会
In every film, there’s a moment
触到他的低谷
when the hero hits rock bottom.
在《冰上轻驰》中 是在约翰·坎迪
In Cool Runnings, it was when John Candy’s
珍贵的滑雪杆断裂时
prized bobsled broke.
在《人体蜈蚣》中 是在那些人签约
In Human Centipede, it was when those people…
同意出演那部电影时
signed on to be in that movie.
不过在这部电影里
But in this film, well…
这一幕正在你的眼前
you’re looking at it.
跪下 变种人
On your fucking knees, mutant.