一周不死，全额退款（2018）

Why are we struggling on?
I mean, for what purpose?
最好现在就自杀
Best to just kill ourselves now and get it over with.
一了百了
最好现在就自杀
Best to just kill ourselves now and get it over with.
一了百了
来吧
Up!
Come on!
如果有活下去的理由
Though if there are reasons to live
应该不会是为了自杀
I’m not sure we’ll find them by killing ourselves.
这违背常理
Seems counter-intuitive.
我会觉得活着比死更有机会
I would think we would have a better chance by living.
尽可能地活
Living as much as possible.
尽可能去做
Doing as much as possible.
在钢琴掉下来之前
Before a piano falls on our heads.
但我想你是对的
But I’m sure you’re right.
你想过的比我多多了
You have thought about it more than me.
数到三？
On three?
一
One,
二
two,
三
three.
你的脚好冷
Your feet are so cold!
你干嘛看那个？
What’ve you got that for?
我要去报名旅行团
I’m gonna book the cruise.
我不想谈这个
I don’t want to talk about it.
我知道你生气，但真的太棒了
I know you’re upset, but it’s exciting.
我们下半生的开始
The start of the rest of our lives.
我们生命结束的开始
The start of the end of our lives.
– 雷斯，你… – 我不想谈
Oh, Les, that’s a bit…
I just don’t want to talk about it.
只不过是退休嘛！
It’s retirement, that’s all.
那表示我没用了
But it means I’m useless.
想想那些新的经验正等着你
Think of all the new experiences waiting for you.
你该去学高尔夫球
You should learn to play golf.
高尔夫是…
Ugghh!
Golf is for…
你看这个，记得吗？
I mean, look at this!
（雷斯利精选集） 是你给我的，1997年的圣诞节
Look at this, do you remember this?
You gave this to me, Christmas, 1997.
你看，我是业界的翘楚
Look, I was a the top of my game.
我支配着死神
I had dominion over death itself.
现在呢？
And now?
我只是等死
I’m just waiting to die.
如果不工作，那我是谁？
If I don’t work, who am I?
我算什么？
What am I?
你有时看着我一定会想：
I mean, you must look at me sometimes and think,
我当年嫁的那个人呢？
“Where’s the man I married?”
你说对了
You’re right.
你不是我嫁的那个人
You’re not the man I married.
我嫁的那个人才不会沈迷在自怜中
The man I married didn’t wallow in self-pity.
他做事都十分自在
He did things on his own terms.
我不想退休
I don’t want to retire.
还不行，我还没准备好
Not yet, I’m not ready.
老天爷！那就不要退
Oh for god’s sake!
Then don’t.
我以为你希望我退
I thought you wanted me to.
当然
I do.
但我不要你那么痛苦
But not if you’re going to be miserable.
我要你自愿退休
I want you to want it too.
但没办法，哈维…
Yeah, but I can’t, Harvey is…
你要做给他看
You’ve got to show him.
完成合约，达成你的业积
Finish the contract and make your quota.
让他瞧瞧你还是有杀人天份的
Show him you’ve still got the killer instinct.
完工了
Done!
（吸烟能致命）
你可以选怎么死吗？
Could you choose how to you wanted to die?
跟雷斯利？
With Leslie?
对
Yeah.
可以，有很多选项
Yes.
There were lots of options.
他有一本简介
He had a brochure.
– 简介？ – 对
A brochure?
Yeah.
你选什么？
What did you choose?
快速无痛
Quick and painless.
我也不想，但钱只够这个
I didn’t want that, but it’s all I could afford.
你想选哪个？
What did you want?
我想在路上救一个小孩后被卡车撞
I wanted to be hit by a truck
after pushing a child out of the way.
有什么不对吗？
What’s wrong with that?
有点夸张
It’s a bit extravagant.
我觉得那很英勇
I thought it was heroic.
比较有意义
It would mean something.
– 但那不会是真的吧？ – 这个嘛…
But it wouldn’t be real, would it?
万一你没有及时赶到？
Well…
And what if you hadn’t got there in time?
– 什么意思？ – 万一你没及时到达
What do you mean?
错估了卡车速度之类的
If you hadn’t got there in time.
If you misjudged the speed of the truck or something,
那就是致那孩子于险境
you’d put a child in danger
只为了你死亡美梦
just so you could have your dream death?
我想那孩子不会真的有危险
Well, uh, I guess the child wouldn’t be
他要被卡车撞耶！怎么可能没危险？
in any real danger.
How could the child not be in any real danger
if it’s about to be hit by a truck?
我不知道细节
I don’t know the details.
我想卡车大概会开很慢
I guess the truck would be going quite slowly.
所以你要救一个不太危险的小孩
So you’d be saving a child
that’s not really in any danger
因为卡车开很慢
from a truck going quite slowly.
照这情况可视为英勇行为
On a scale of things that could be considered heroic,
但我想分数不高
I doubt that would score very highly.
不知道
Hmmmm, I dunno.
其他选项呢？
What were the other options?
就是对脑袋开枪
Oh, you know.
勒死、下毒
Shot in the head, strangled, poisoned.
没有更有趣的吗？
Anything more interesting?
被蝎子螫死
Stung by a scorpion?
被强酸溶解
Melted in acid?
被水泥浆淹死？
Drowned in slurry?
我从没见过你这种人
I’ve never met anyone like you.
看你差点错过了多少？
Now, see what you could’ve missed out on?
好事才正要开始呢？
And it only gets better from here.
你吃药了吗？
Did you take your pills?
医师说过了，我不希望你太兴奋
You know what the doctor said.
好，亲爱的，放心
I don’t want you getting excited.
Yes love, don’t worry.
– 克莱哪时候来？ – 他应该要到了
What time is Clive coming?
我们要在十点前去登记
He should’ve been here by now.
We have to register by 10.
你真觉得它够郡赛标准吗？
You really think it’s up to Southern Counties standard?
我不会太丢人？
I’m not embarrassing myself?
当然不会
Of course not.
我觉得这能参加全国大赛
I think it’s up to national standard!
真希望你跟我去
I wish you were coming.
我给你做了三明治和一瓶茶
I’ve made you some sandwiches.
我想这个大概能派上用场
And a flask of tea.
And I thought, well,
I thought this might come in handy.
潘妮欧尼尔
Penelope O’Neil,
我真是比任何时候都更爱你
I don’t think it is possible to love you any more than I do
right now.
– 你明天就回来？ – 对
And you’ll be back tomorrow?
我晚餐做炸羊肉片
Yeah.
喔，我最爱的
I’ll do lamb cutlets for dinner.
Ahhh, my favorite!
你要去哪？
Where are you going?
克莱来了
That’ll be Clive.
– 祝我好运 – 祝好运
Wish me luck!
Good luck.
（费恩桥农庄）
明天见，小子们
See you tomorrow, boys
请到全球最知名的鹦鹉迷
World’s strongest man