一周不死，全额退款（2018）

What’s it like, a union?
又不是公交车司机
We’re not bus drivers.
它是个有严格行为守则
It’s a co-operative bound by a strict code of conduct.
所约束的合作社
它是个有严格行为守则
It’s a co-operative bound by a strict code of conduct.
它是个有严格行为守则
It’s a co-operative bound by a strict code of conduct.
杀手不只是带枪的人
An assassin is not just a man with a gun.
我们不是凶手
We’re not murderers.
是专业人士
We’re professionals.
那我要做什么？
And what do I do?
照平常那样
Do what you normally do.
就是那一周别躲进柜子里
Just don’t hide in a cupboard for the week.
我也不在乎啦，我还是会杀了你
I don’t mind, I’ll kill you anyway,
but you’ll regret it.
只是你会后悔
but you’ll regret it.
只是你会后悔
好
Okay.
好
Right.
你看起来很正派
You seem like a decent man.
我很高兴能杀你
I’m very happy to kill you.
我很高兴能死
I’m very happy to die.
哈啰？
Hello?
是，我是雷斯利
Yes, it’s Leslie.
– 雷斯 – 嗨，温迪
Hello, Les.
我来交合约书了
Hi Wendy.
I need to register this contract.
你看！
Look at that!
太好啦！来得刚好
Well done you!
Just in time.
帮人自杀这点子太棒了
Those assisted suicides were a great idea.
就等他汇钱进来，他好像很急
He’s just needs to transfer the money.
很消沈吧？
He seemed keen.
也是个作家，书没出版
Depressed was he?
He’s another writer.
有些人就是这问题，想太多
Unpublished.
That’s the trouble with some people.
They think too much.
哈维在吗？
Is Harvey in?
他们都去开会了
They’re all at the conference.
你没收到通知？
Didn’t you get the newsletter?
– 没有 – 今明两天
No.
他们住在艾格玛饭店
It’s today and tomorrow.
They’re staying at a hotel in Egham.
行程表在这里
Here’s the schedule.
（杀手协会双年度训练大会）
（8:30制♥造♥成自杀，13:00自助餐） 吃自助餐…
Mmmm.
（杀手协会双年度训练大会）
（8:30制♥造♥成自杀，13:00自助餐） 吃自助餐…
Mmmm.
Buffet lunch.
你有鲁格精准步♥枪♥吗？
So have you got the Ruger Precision?
没有，雷斯利，抱歉，被拿走了
No, Leslie I’m sorry.
It’s out at the moment.
有很多手♥枪♥
We’ve got plenty of handguns?
格洛克17？
Glock 17?
我去帮你拿
Let me just get that for you.
（年度最佳枪手：艾文）
子弹在弹匣里
Ammunition is in the case.
– 周四以前可以还吗？ – 可以
Can you have it back by Thursday?
Yeah, yeah.
那只布朗宁还在你那里吗？
Have you still got the Browning?
没有，上周就还啦
No, no, I brought that back last week.
这里写：「出借中」
It’s saying it’s still out.
那会在哪呢？
Where is it then?
雷斯？
Les?
有买♥♥伍斯特酱吗？
Did you get the Worcester sauce?
喔，雷斯利！
Oh, Leslie!
我现在去买♥♥
Well, I’ll go now.
算了，没那么要紧
No, no, it’s not essential.
很抱歉
Look, I’m sorry.
口味会淡一些
Just be a bit bland.
我去买♥♥
Well I will go.
你都回来了，别担心了
No, you’re home now.
我加些牛肉汤进去
Don’t worry.
I’ll add some Bovril.
小子们，今天好吗？
Hello boys.
How are you today?
你怎么了？没事吧？
What’s wrong with you?
You all right?
用拖盘吃吧
I thought we could have it on trays.
只吃植物跑不了太快
It’s hard to move quickly
when you only eat plants
这是三趾树懒
It’s a three-toed sloth
牠吊在树枝上吃植物
The sloth hangs from branches, eating plants
很淡喔？
Bland?
很好吃
Delicious.
都不知道能否来得及
I don’t know how I’m going to finish this
参加南郡大赛
in time for the Southern Counties.
我当时怎么想的？
What I was thinking?
– 你会完成的 – 树懒对吃
You’ll get it done.
不太热衷
Sloths are not exactly enthusiastic eaters,
但每天食量相当可观
but meals takes up a sizeable proportion of the day,
不断地循环
it’s a constant cycle.
– 牠们吃的同时 – 真的
Yep.
– 就消化 – 很淡
Bland.
（2000元，转账成功）
– 就消化 – 很淡
Bland.
（2000元，转账成功）
（在我死时开启） 「我的生命」
My life was long enough
「够长了」
「而且充满苦痛」
and full of distress.
「不像我的死亡」
Unlike my death,
「快速…」
which was quick and painless.
「且无痛」
「快速…」
which was quick and painless.
「且无痛」
The time is 8:19
and now a summary of this morning’s news.
这个是环游一周
This one goes the whole way round.
120个晚上
120 nights.
你想想…
Imagine,
是不是太棒了？
wouldn’t that be incredible?
甚至有些地名我都没听过
There’s places here I’ve never even heard of.
努库阿洛法
Nuku’Alofa.
努库阿洛法，在东加王国
Nuku’Alofa.
It’s in Tonga.
提早报名还有优♥惠♥
And they’ve got an offer on if you book early.
亲爱的，关于那个…
Listen love, about that…
雷斯，你说今年
Oh Les, you said this year.
你说今年要退休
You said that you were going to retire this year
我们就去环游世界的
and we could go ’round the world.
不，我说我会考虑退休
No, I said I’d think about retiring
我考虑结果是
and I have thought about it and I’ve decided
我还没准备好
that I’m not ready.
放心，世界明年还在
Don’t worry, the world will still be there next year.
但我们还在吗？
But will we, Leslie?
要享受生命，而不是做到死，进坟墓
You should be enjoying life,
not working yourself into an early grave.
我爱我的工作
I love my work.
哈维呢？
And what about Harvey?
他不是要给年轻人多点工作？
I thought he wanted to give more work to the youngsters?
他想干嘛随便他，我已经达成业积了
He can do what he likes.
I’ve already fulfilled his stupid quota.
– 是吗？ – 就等钱汇进去
You have?
Yes.
The money just needs to be transferred, that’s all.
你该为我高兴吧？
At least you can be happy for me?
Budgies can fly
at over 90 kilometers per hour,
and cover huge territories,
我是雷斯利
Leslie O’Neil.
欧尼尔先生？
Mr O’Neil?
是
Yeah.
我是威廉莫瑞森
It’s William Morrison.
钱已经汇过去了
I’ve transferred the money.
但我…
But I have a few things I want to do first,
还要先处理一些事
但我…
But I have a few things I want to do first,
不知你能否给我大概的时间表
so I was wondering if you could give me a rough idea