一周不死，全额退款（2018）

I hadn’t made my quota!
你耍我！
Now I have.
You’re taking the piss.
你就不能像正常人那样退休吗？
Why can’t you just retire like a normal fucking person?
我是个杀手
I am an assassin.
那是我的工作
That’s what I do, and that’s who I am.
那就是我
那是我的工作
That’s what I do, and that’s who I am.
那就是我
你是死人了
You’re a fucking dead man.
你要来这套？
Ah, like that is it?
在桌底下？
Under the table?
现在？
Right now?
现在，桌底下？
Right now under the table?
你看看
Take a look.
干
Fuck.
等一下
Now, wait a sec, all right?
雷斯利
Leslie!
潘妮，拜托，《骇人命案》还没开始？
Please, Penny.
有点难看
Hasn’t Midsomer Murders started yet?
It was a bit grisly.
我想给哈维看我的靠垫
And I wanted to show Harvey my cushion.
我赢得南郡刺绣双年赛
I won first prize in the Southern Counties Biannual
Needlecraft and Embroidery competition, cushion class.
– 靠垫组冠军 – 喔
Oh yeah.
那绣的是什么？
What are they supposed to be?
是欧斑鸠
They’re turtle doves, a mating pair.
在求爱的一对
是欧斑鸠
They’re turtle doves, a mating pair.
是欧斑鸠
They’re turtle doves, a mating pair.
有趣的是欧斑鸠一生只有一个伴
Interesting thing about turtle doves is they mate for life.
他们一起生活、变老
They stay together, grow old together and when one dies,
当一只死去
the other one tends to die soon after.
另一只很快也会跟着死
当一只死去
the other one tends to die soon after.
另一只很快也会跟着死
他们彼此需要
They absolutely need each other.
真的很可爱
Sweet really.
Huh.
那是给雷斯的？
Is that for Les?
你看，好漂亮啊！
Look at that!
Oh!
Isn’t that something!
真漂亮，雷斯！
Les?
Isn’t that something?
我想他有点怕退休
I think he’s a bit scared of retirement.
但我跟他说：很棒的
But I said to him, it’s exciting.
该好好享受了，对吧，雷斯？
Time to enjoy himself, didn’t I, Les?
开始我们的下半生，对吧，雷斯？
The start of the rest of our lives.
Isn’t that right, Les?
是吗，雷斯利？
Is that right, Leslie?
他没告诉你吗？
Did I tell you?
我们报名旅行团
We’re going on a cruise!
要去环游世界，开普敦、雪梨
‘Round the whole world!
Cape Town, Sydney,
– 努库阿洛法 – 嗯？
Nuku’Alofa.
在东加王国
Hmmm?
It’s in Tonga.
Ah.
他们说是一生一次的旅行
It’s a trip of a lifetime, that’s what they say.
谢谢你的礼物，哈维
Awww, thank you for this, Harvey.
非常合适放壁炉台
It’ll look perfect on the mantelpiece.
哈维太客气了，对吧，雷斯？
Isn’t that kind of Harvey, Les?
谢谢你，哈维
Thank you, Harvey.
我想…
Anyway,
我该走了
I’d best be off.
把晚上留给你们
Leave you to your evening.
喝点茶吧，哈维？有青草茶
You not stopping for tea, Harvey?
不了，没关系
We’ve got herbal.
No, no, you’re all right.
享受你的退休生活，雷斯利
Enjoy your retirement, Leslie.
真遗憾你不在了
We’re sorry to lose you.
问候珊卓拉
Send our love to Sandra.
Mmm.
我不后悔
I’m not sorry.
我知道你爱你的工作
I know you loved your job, but it’s not all you are.
但那不是全部的你
我知道你爱你的工作
I know you loved your job, but it’s not all you are.
但那不是全部的你
至少对我来说不是
At least not to me.
没有你我该怎么办？
What would I do without you?
我很高兴不必刺死他
I’m just pleased I didn’t have to stick him.
他们喜欢吗？
So, uh, did they like it?
好像是
Seemed to.
他们喜欢杀手那角色
They love the assassin character.
想约你下周见面
And they want to meet you next week.
太好了
That’s great.
你可以吗？
You can make that?
我想我可以
Yes, I think I can make that.
活着这件事还不坏，是吧？
So this living thing’s really not that bad, is it?
谁知道钢琴哪时候落到头上
Well, you never know when a piano
is going to fall on your head.
威廉
William!
威廉！
William!
威廉！
Call an ambulance, call an ambulance!
叫救护车！
威廉！
Call an ambulance, call an ambulance!
威廉！
Call an ambulance, call an ambulance!
威廉！
William!
他还…？
Is, is he…
什么？是，他很好
What, yes, yes, he’s fine, he’s fine.
你救了他
You saved him.
你呢？
What about you?
我绝对好多了
I’ve definitely felt better.
来，躺在我身边
Here, lie down with me.
他们在鼓掌吗？
Are they clapping?
对
Yeah, they’re clapping.
他们在鼓掌
太好了
Perfect.
Darkness falls across the land
And I’d do anything just to hold your hand
Where the angels sing a song
Come on through
Well, I fly through the night to get home to you
Home to you
Darkness falls across the land
And I’d do anything just to hold your hand
Where the angels sing a song
Come on through
Well, I fly through the night to get home to you
Home to you
Darkness falls across the land
And I’d do anything just to hold your hand
Where the angels sing a song
Come on through
Well, I fly through the night to get home to you
Home to you
Subtitles by explosiveskull
With the taste of dark between my teeth
And the crashing of waves underneath my feet
Gonna give myself to the endless gloom
Fly through the night to get home to you
Home to you
Darkness falls across the land
And I’d do anything just to hold your hand
Where the angels sing a song
Come on through
Well, I fly through the night to get home to you
Home to you
Darkness falls across the land
And I’d do anything just to hold your hand
Where the angels sing a song
Come on through
Well, I’d fly through the night to get home to you
Home to you
I fly through the night
To get home to you
The angels sing and come on through
The angels sing and come on through
I fly through the night
To get home to you
To get home to you
So come on through
To be back by your side
I’d do anything to be back by your side
Curtain’s call, but I just can’t go
‘Cause you came and you saw
Pinned my soul to the gray oh gray
And it won’t be long
So I fly and fly to get back home
To get home to you
Darkness falls across the land
And I’d do anything just hold your hand
Where the angels sing a song
Come on through
Well, I’d fly through the night to get home to you
Home to you
Curtain’s call, but I just can’t go
‘Cause you came and you saw
Pinned my soul to the gray, oh gray
Of the world we know
So I fly and I fly to get back home
To get home to you
Darkness falls across the land
And I’d do anything just hold your hand