一周不死，全额退款（2018）

Oh, this is getting ridiculous.
把枪放下
Put the gun down.
你不会开枪的
You will not shoot that gun.
当心啊！
Whoa, careful!
把枪放下
Put the gun down.
你才把枪放下
You put the gun down.
我才不放下枪，我♥干♥嘛要放下枪
I’m not putting the gun down.
你不放下枪，我也不可能放下
Why would I put the gun down?
If you’re not putting your gun down
there’s no way I’m gonna put this gun down.
那我们就站在这里
Then let’s just stand here until you bleed to death.
让你血流光而死
那我们就站在这里
Then let’s just stand here until you bleed to death.
让你血流光而死
雷斯利，我很感激你的努力
Leslie, I really appreciate all your efforts,
但能不能就取消算了
but could we just call this off?
如果是因为钱…
If it’s about the money, then…
不是因为钱
It’s not about the money.
那是为什么？
Then what is it?
我知道你有某些原则
I understand that you have certain principles.
如果下周前不能完成合约
If I don’t complete this contract by next week,
我就达不成业积，就得退休
I won’t make my quota.
And then I’ll have to retire.
唯一解决的办法就是
Yeah well, umm,
uh, no, the only way out of this is to, uh,
杀了你们两个，然后说我没看见他
is to kill you both and then say I never saw him.
也许能保住我工作
Maybe then I’ll be able to keep my job.
如果她放下枪
If she puts her gun down, will you promise to let her go?
你能保证放她走吗？
如果她放下枪
If she puts her gun down, will you promise to let her go?
你能保证放她走吗？
我的合约是跟你签的
My contract is with you.
我想死，因为活着没意义
I wanted to die because I had nothing to live for.
我想找到意义
And that’s what I was trying to find.
现在我找到了
And now I found it.
死也值得了
And that’s got to be worth dying for.
你真的想太多
You really think too much.
我要谢谢你，雷斯利
I want to thank you, Leslie.
当我需要帮忙时，你挺我
You were there for me when I really needed someone,
尽管你是要杀我
even though you were trying to kill me at the time.
不客气
Yes, you’re welcome,
但我还是得杀了你
but I still have to kill you.
好
Okay.
等等
Wait!
天哪！又干嘛？
Oh, Jesus Christ!
那我们来签个合约？
What?
什么？
What if we take out a contract?
谁要？
What?
On who?
– 你是说杀谁？ – 杀谁
You mean on whom?
On whom?
先杀后签？
Retrospectively?
显然是
Obviously.
这太不合规定了
Well, this is, uhh, utterly irregular.
谁会知道？
Who’s to know?
你就有你的合约，达到业积了
Then you’ll have your contract and make your quota.
那钱呢？
What about the money?
我有两千英镑可以给你
I’ve got 2,000 pounds in an escrow account
存在第三方账户
you could have.
你有带文件吗？
Do you have any paper?
有，我有
Yes!
Yes I do, I…
我不需要了
I don’t need it.
（在我死时开启）
我不需要了
I don’t need it.
（在我死时开启）
应该一下处理那耳朵
We should take a look at that ear.
我大概有消毒水
I’ve probably got some Savlon somewhere.
等等，有一件事我不懂
Wait, one thing I don’t understand,
你怎么知道我们在这里？
how did you know where we were?
你的背景被调查过
Well, uh, there was a background check on you.
查我？该不会…
On?
不是查你，是查你老板
There isn’t a…
No, no, it wasn’t you, it was for your boss.
显然他很顾人怨
Apparently he was very unpopular.
他不是因为我而死？
So he didn’t die because of me?
他是因你而死，但迟早有人要杀他
Oh, yes he did.
But someone would have got to him sooner or later.
你现在要怎么办？
What are you going to do now?
我有下一本书的想法了
I have an idea for a new book.
至少主角出现了
The main character at least.
你是好人，威廉
You’re a good man, William.
很高兴我没杀你
I’m glad I didn’t kill you.
谢谢，雷斯利
Thanks, Leslie.
我很高兴我没死
I’m glad I didn’t die.
哈啰，怎么了？
Hello, what’s this?
我好担心
I was worried.
你怎么了？
What happened?
另一个更惨
Oh, you should see the other guy!
结果呢？
So?
结果？
So?
南郡大赛？
The Southern Counties?
第一名？
Ah, first place!
– 你拿到第一名？ – 对
You got first place?
摩芮布莉丝黛呢？
Yep.
And Morag Bleasdale?
– 她第二 – 太棒了
Second.
That’s fantastic.
只不过是南郡大赛
It’s just the Southern Counties.
现在又说「只不过」了
Ahhh, so now it’s just the Southern Counties!
我真以你为荣
Oh, I am so proud of you.
潘妮，雷斯利在吗？
Hello Penny, is Leslie home?
潘妮，让我跟哈维单独谈一下好吗？
Penny, could you give me and Harvey a minute, please?
– 你确定？ – 对
You sure?
Yes.
《骇人命案》就要开始了
Midsomer Murders is on in a minute.
你来做什么，哈维？
So, why are you here, Harvey?
你知道的
You know.
我不知道
No, I don’t.
你知道，我知道你知道
You know.
And I know you know.
我不知道
I don’t know.
莫瑞森先生还活着
Mr. Morrison is still alive.
真的？
Really?
超级杀手艾文却没消息
And no one’s heard from Ivan the terrible hitman.
这些外国小鬼真不可靠
Well, you can’t trust these foreign kids, can you?
你该叫我去执行任务的
You should have asked me to do the job.
你干嘛唬我？
What do you take me for?
我不是那种痴呆症老头
I’m not one of your senior fucking Alzheimer friends.
我还蛮吃惊的
I’m actually a little bit impressed.
没想到你真的干了
I didn’t think you were up to it.
我跟你说了
I told you.
对，你说了
Yeah, you did.
但我叫你拿走钟
And I told you to take the fucking clock.
你不必这样了
You don’t have to do this.
要保留一点尊严？
Have a bit of fucking pride, eh?
不，我是说…
No, I mean, um,
这个
I mean this.
什么？
What is it?
一份合约
It’s a contract.
什么？
What?
– 要杀艾文的 – 你真♥他♥妈♥…
On Ivan.
You must be fucking…
好！钱呢？
All right.
第三方账户
Where’s the money?
有莫瑞森先生的两千元汇款
I think you’ll find two grand of Mr. Morrison’s
in the escrow account.
– 但那是… – 不，他还活着
But that was…
所以钱是他的
No, he’s still alive so it’s his money.
你不能接新合约，你退休了
No, you can’t take on new contracts!
我没达成业积，现在达成了
You’re retired.