大卫·林奇：艺术人生（2016）

It seemed… like…
不，我并不悲惨…
No, I wasn’t miserable…
只是…
It just…
我不知道会发生什么，如果我没有拿到这笔拨款。
I don’t know what would’ve happened
if I hadn’t gotten that grant.
我真的不知道。
I really don’t.
所以当我们驾车出发，我们去，呣…
So when we drove out, we went, um, to…
朝着夕阳，在圣文森特向左转，
down Sunset
and turned left on San Vicente,
停下大卡车，
parked the big truck,
第二天早晨就是
and the next morning
was that first morning
我感受到加州阳光的第一个早晨。
I experienced California sunshine.
不真实。
Unreal.
我站在街上，抬头看着太阳。
I just stood in the street
and looked up at the sun.
真是难以置信。
It was unbelievable.
那就像是有某种东西…
And it was a kind of a thing where…
把恐惧从我心中驱散。
it was pulling, uh,
fear out of me.
想象一下从费城和那个世界
You know, imagine coming
from Philadelphia and that world
来到洛杉矶，
out to LA
给你看
and being shown
你要去上学的地方，
where you’re gonna go to school
一幢坐落在山顶的有着55个房♥间的大厦，
a 55-room mansion on the top of a hill
在贝弗利山最好的位置。
in the best part of Beverly Hills.
那些马厩给了我。
And the stables were given to me.
似乎没有其他什么人想要它们。
And it wasn’t like anybody else
even wanted them, you know.
那些马厩就空在那儿，
It was just they were sitting there,
我可以使用它们。
and I was able to get them.
真是难以置信。
It’s just unbelievable.
那是多么好的礼物。
What a gift that was.
难以置信。
Unbelievable.
四年期间我拥有这些马厩。
For four years I had those stables.
能够在那儿搭建，在那儿吃住。
And able to build down there,
live down there, eat down there.
真是不可思议。
It was incredible.
走。
Go.
继续演，弗雷德。
Play it, Fred.
走。
Go.
我真是爱死那种氛围。
I just love being in that mood.
有时我会在夜晚坐在摄影棚里。
Sometimes I would sit
on the sets at night.
我会工作或做点什么，
I’d be working or something,
我能想象出一个完整的外部世界，
and I could imagine a whole world outside
它并不存在，
that doesn’t exist.
但真的会是那样一个世界。
But it really would be such a world.
环绕着我的是工厂区，
Around me was the factory neighborhood,
我会想象它，
and I would imagine it,
它是那么真实。
and it was so real.
有时天空下起雨，
And sometimes it would rain,
我听着这雨声，
and I’d hear this rain,
在这间屋子里，
and I’d be in this room,
我知道外面的街道会是什么样子，还有那些小餐馆。
and I knew what the streets
were like out there, and the diners.
天很黑，
It was really dark
烟雾弥漫，
and filled with smoke
高大的工厂，
and big factories,
巨大的烟囱，
huge smokestacks,
烟与火以及钢铁。
fire and smoke and steel.
屋里很热，
And hot inside,
我和佩吉离婚了，
I was divorced from Peggy
住在马厩里，
and living at the stables,
我哥当时正在里弗赛得外出访问，
and my brother was visiting
out in Riverside.
我哥和我爸想要和我谈谈。
And my brother and my father
wanted to talk to me.
我坐下来。
I sit down.
我记得起居室里很黑。
I remember it was dark in the living room.
然后这个事情就是，
Then the whole thing was,
“放弃这部电影，
“Give up this film
找个工作，
and get a job,
因为你有个孩子，而…
because your…
you got a child, and
电影不可能做得出来，
this film isn’t getting made,
你在浪费你的时间”。
and you’re wasting your time.”
诸如此类。
This kind of thing.
这让我…
And it got me…
这让我感到深深、深深的困扰。
It got me really in a deep, deep way.
因为他们不理解我，
‘Cause they didn’t understand
我也不会相信他们对我说的那些。
and I just couldn’t believe it,
what they were saying to me.
他们全都非常严肃。
And they were totally serious.
因此我离开那儿回去，
And so I left there and I went back,
我姐姐在卧室里，
and my sister was in the back bedroom,
我开始哭泣。
and I started crying.
但，呣，那是…
But, um, it was…
那是在那些事情当中…
it was just one of those things…
某种…
where, um,
我不可能去做的事。
there was no way I was gonna do that.
明白吗，我想要做的是…
See, what I wanna do is have the…
主要是注视着亨利的脸…（亨利是大卫·林奇第一部公映的电影《橡皮头》主角的名字）
mainly the look on Henry’s face…
You know…
那么真实。我感觉他就在这儿。
It’s so real. I feel like he’s here.
但不管怎么说，呃…
But anyway, um, uh…
注视亨利的脸是当他准备要切割的时候，你知道，肢解。
The look on Henry’s face just when he’s
getting ready to cut. You know, the big cut.
（在电影《橡皮头》中亨利肢解了自己的儿子）
《橡皮头》，
Eraserhead,
对于我，是我在电影当中获得的，
to me, was one of my greatest,
最好、最快乐的体验之一。
happiest experiences in cinema.
而我喜欢这部电影的地方在于，
And what I loved about it was the world
使这个世界成为我自己的小小角落，
and having it be my own little place
在那里我可以建造一切，以我真正想要的方式来达到它，
where I could build everything
and get it exactly the way I wanted it
而且几乎不花什么钱。
for hardly any money.
只是费些时间。
It just took time.
只是，呃，那么美。
It just, uh, was so beautiful.
关于它所有的一切。
Everything about it.
所有的一切。
Everything about it.