You favor little Griffy over my kids.
什么 我没有
What? I do not!
他总是睡在你的床上
He gets to sleep in your bed all the time.
梅根和迪连就不行
Megan and Dylan never get to.
你要他们和我一起睡在床上
You want them to sleep in my bed with me?
上帝 你想都别想
God, no! Don’t you ever think about it!
我没在想这个
I’m not thinking about it!
是你提出来的 -你最好不要
You brought it up. -Good! You better not.
闭嘴 -你闭嘴
Shut up! -Hey, you shut up.
你才闭嘴 -你闭嘴
You shut up! -No, you shut up!
他不会参与我们今晚计划的特别活动
Okay. Well, he’s not gonna be part of that special thing we got planned tonight,
如果你是这样想的
if that’s what you’re thinking.
所以你要告诉阿德里安娜
Oh, yeah? So you’re gonna tell Adrianna
大家参加那个“特别活动”
that everyone’s invited to that “special thing”
今晚都计划好了 除了她爸爸
we have planned for tonight, except her dad.
我们今晚计划的特别活动
再过五分钟 我就可以扮约瑟夫了
Hey. Five more minutes and I get to be Joseph.
你不是扮演耶稣父亲的合适人选
You’re not the right type to play Jesus’ dad, Brad.
他不是耶稣的父亲 他是耶稣的继父
He wasn’t Jesus’ dad, he was Jesus’ stepdad.
而我正是这种类型的人
And I’m exactly the right type.
你最好别再用
You’d better stop hitting me
那根牧羊棍打我 我警告你
with that shepherd stick, Brad. I’m warning you.
布拉德说得对 他扮演约瑟夫
Brad’s right. Let him be Joseph.
谢谢你 罗杰 我很感激
Thank you, Roger, I appreciate that.
轮到布拉德了 达斯蒂
It’s Brad’s turn, Dusty.
爸爸 别破坏人格
Dad, don’t break character.
别再拍我马屁了
And stop trying to butter me up.
我们表现得礼貌点 -我表现得很有礼貌
Can we show some decorum? -I’m showing decorum.
闭嘴 你们会吵醒婴儿耶稣
You guys, zip it! You’re gonna wake up Baby Jesus.
好了 把胡子给我
That’s it. Give me the beard.
别碰我的约瑟夫胡子
Don’t touch my Joseph beard, Brad!
把胡子给他 -没你的事
Give him the beard! -Dad, stay out of it!
我们能不能尊重一下耶稣降生
Can we have some respect for the Nativity?
住嘴
Cut it out!
真是愚蠢 我都不明白
This is stupid. I don’t even get it.
玛利亚快要生孩子了 干嘛还要出行
Why go on a trip when Mary’s about to have a baby?
什么事这么重要
What’s so damn important
大半夜的跑去伯利恒
you got to go to Bethlehem in the middle of the night?
有人口普查 我们在主日学校学习过
There was a census, okay? We covered that in Sunday School.
梅根 怎么回事
Megan, what is going…
你喝蛋酒了
Did you get into the eggnog?
谁想来点煎饼
Hey. Who’s up for some IHOP?
那孩子喝醉了
Yeah, that kid’s pickled all right.
妈妈 真漂亮 我们去吃煎饼
Mom, you’re pretty. Can we go to IHOP?
抱歉 各位
I’m sorry, folks.
出现技术上的故障
Having some technical difficulties.
爸爸 你打破了第四堵墙
Great, Dad. Now you’ve broken the fourth wall!
这都不是真的
None of it’s real, folks.
我想去车里等
I want to go wait in the car.
把钥匙给我
Give me the keys, Brad!
我不会把车钥匙给你
No, I am not giving you the keys to the car,
因为你喝醉了 而且是个小孩
because you’re drunk and you’re a child.
没人喜欢你那愚蠢的声音
Nobody likes your dumb, stupid Brad voice.
你闻起来像南瓜
And you smell like pumpkins!
你是个小酒鬼 -反击无力
And you’re a mean drunk. -Kid’s got an arm.
九岁的醉鬼 真是好父母
Drunk nine-year-old. Real nice parenting.
说话小心点 罗杰
You better watch it, Roger.
阿德里安娜 你没事吧
Adrianna! Are you okay, sweetheart?
她没事吧 她
Is she okay? Is she… What is she…
现在知道梅根哪儿弄来蛋酒了
Oh. What a shock. Now we know where Megan got the eggnog.
你总是认为她是坏榜样
You always assume she’s the bad influence.
也许你女儿教唆我女儿喝酒
Maybe your daughter plied my daughter with alcohol.
也许你女儿那样是因为她妈妈是商店扒手
Maybe your daughter’s that way because her mother is a shoplifter.
商店扒手
Shoplifter.
我们已经商量过入店行窃的事
Sara, we’ve been working on the shoplifting thing, okay?
但那和阿德里安娜无关
But that has nothing to do with Adrianna
不要一直当作小噩梦
being such a little nightmare all the time.
我女儿才不是噩梦
My daughter is not a nightmare!
走吧 阿德里安娜
Come on, Adrianna.
亲爱的 我不是那个意思
No, sweetheart, I didn’t mean that.
亲爱的 -嘿
Honey! -Hey.
你叫我女儿什么 -他称她为噩梦
What’d you call my daughter? -He called her a nightmare.
我不怕惹事 但我不是异教♥徒♥
Hey. I’m a lot of things, but I’m not a heathen.
我们到外面去解决
Let’s take this outside.
我们出去遛一遛
Yeah, let’s step outside the manger.
他称她为噩梦
He called her a nightmare.
走吧 -好了 孩子们
Here we go. -Now, now, boys,
我们不能离开
we can’t just leave!
约瑟夫和客栈老板在大门外互相推搡
Joseph and the Innkeeper rumble outside the manger!
客栈老板首先动手
Make the first move, Innkeeper.
扁他 约瑟夫
Kick his ass, Joseph!
在孩子面前不能这样干
We are not going to do this in front of the children!
你们是怎么做父亲的
Now, what kind of fathers are you, anyway?
太可笑了
That’s rich!
这话出自对儿子撒谎六个月的人
Coming from a guy who lies to his son for six months.
所以大家都觉得你的故事如此“可爱”
Maybe that’s why everyone thinks your stories are so “delightful,”
因为这都是谎言
because they’re all lies!
萨拉 带孩子们离开这里
Sara, get the kids out of here, okay?
正好 我不想让他们看这个
Happily. I don’t want them watching this anyway.
慢慢玩 白♥痴♥
Have fun, morons!
吃煎饼去 婊♥子♥ -不要说“婊♥子♥”
Pancakes, bitches! -Do not say “bitches.”
孩子们走了 来吧
Kids are gone. Let’s go.
我不会打穿得像约瑟夫的人
I’m not hitting a guy dressed like Joseph.
胡子没了 罗杰
The beard’s off, Roger.
你们想磨蹭到什么时候
How many excuses you want to pull out, man?
现在打开
Now it’s on.
你知道吗 布拉德 -唐
You know what, Brad? -Don!
没错 我撒谎了
Yes, I lied!
因为只要你生活中有什么不对劲
Because whenever there’s anything wrong in your life,
只要不是玫瑰和彩虹
if it isn’t roses and rainbows,
你就会彻底崩溃
you completely fall apart.
我以为我们之间很诚实
I thought we had an honest relationship!
是吗 我打赌你没告诉他
Oh, yeah? Brad, I bet you never told him
你去年做的那个手术
about that procedure you had last year, did you?
我的天 什么手术
Oh, my God. What procedure?
没什么 是良性肿瘤
It was nothing, just some benign tissue.
怎么样 你们两个都是骗子
How about that? You’re both a couple of lying sacks.
还有你
And, you!
你到这里的那一刻起
From the minute you got here,
就一直充满刻薄和讽刺
you’ve been nothing but mean and sarcastic.
你知道吗 库尔特
Well, you know what, Kurt?
去你的 -爸爸
F you! -Dad!
没错 忘了你
That’s right. Forget you!
好样的 大♥师♥ 说脏话
Attaboy, swami. Throwing down F words.
似脏非脏 是个好开头
Not the F word, but an F word, and that’s a good start.
来吧 给我一根手指 大男人
Now, come on, give me the finger, big boy. Come on.
来吧 -嘿
Come on. -Hey! Hey!
我们还要打架吗
Are we gonna still fight or what?
罗杰说得好 我们重回起点
Roger brings up a good point. Let’s get the momentum back.
来吧 罗杰 靠近点
Come on, Roger. Get some! Let’s get in there!
快点 -不不不
Come on! -No, no, no, no, no!
如果你们开打 不管孩子在不在场
If you lay one hand on each other, whether the kids are here or not,
都会对他们产生负面影响
it will negatively impact them.
好吧 我不会对他下手的
All right. I’m not gonna lay a hand on him.
你在干什么
What are you doing?
我明白了 打雪仗
Oh. Oh, I see. Yeah, yeah. Snowball fight.
我后车厢里有几把孩之宝枪
I’ve got some Nerf guns in the back of my car.
要去拿来吗
Want me to get them?
我曾经在红袜队3A级小联盟效力
I pitched triple-A for the Red Sox in their farm system, Roger.
别怪我没提醒你
Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
尽你全力吧
Take your best shot.