现在你开始有点精神了
Now you’re getting in the spirit, Dusty.
好 我们选“离婚”
Yes. Okay. We’re taking “divorce.”
这就够了 好了
That’s all we need. Give it up!
真的很黑暗
That’s really dark.
来吧 宝贝
Oh, come on, babe.
在他来之前找点乐子
Just a little fun before he gets here.
住手 我说过了
No. Stop it. I told you, okay?
在离婚确定之前不能亲热
No canoodling until the divorce is finalized.
这样不好 -来嘛
It’s not right. -Come on.
敲敲门
Knock, knock.
他根本不知道自己要面对什么
He has no idea what he’s walking into!
你回来了
You’re home!
是的
Yes.
你去哪儿了
Where were you?
我带浣熊去看皮肤科医生
I took our raccoon to the dermatologist.
他已经用了两条建议
He got two of the suggestions already.
真的不错
He’s on fire!
家里有个陌生人你都不想招呼
Aren’t you even gonna address the strange man in your home?
是啊 老兄 难道你不想知道我是谁
Yeah, bro, don’t you even want to know who I am?
我知道你是谁
I know who you are.
唐 如果你不介意
Don, if you’ll excuse me,
我会把这个送给你老婆
I think I’m gonna start giving it to your wife.
闭嘴
Shut up!
别说那种话了
Just shut up with that kind of talk!
我们在那次航♥班♥上认识 我对你真的很好
When we met on that flight, I was really nice to you.
我听你一遍又一遍地那愚蠢的故事
I listened to you tell your stupid story over and over again,
我还称赞了你的帽子
and I complimented your hat!
我们得阻止这一切 -他棒极了
Brad, we have to stop this. -He’s killing!
你没看到发生了什么吗
Don’t you see what’s happening?
看到了 一屋子人在嘲笑我父亲
I do. I see a room of people laughing at my father.
太精彩了 -好吧
It’s amazing. -Okay.
喝点水 -我不要水
Have some water. -No, I don’t want water.
噢
Oh!
我不要水
I don’t want water!
我要我老婆回来
I want my wife back.
我想要我们周日在一起早午餐
And I want our Sunday brunches at the Cracker Barrel.
布拉德 我们得把他弄下台
Braddie, we’ve got to get him off the stage.
你只需要有人听你的话
All you needed was somebody to listen to you,
而我只需要说话
and all I do is talk.
一遍又一遍
On and on and on.
我什么时候才能学会闭上大嘴
When am I ever gonna learn to shut my big fat mouth?
噢
Ooh.
金妮
Ginny.
金妮
Ginny.
我可爱的金妮
My sweet Ginny.
他干嘛用我妈妈的真名
Why is he using my mom’s real name?
爸爸
Hey, Dad?
这是真的吗
Is this true?
你和妈妈离婚了
Are you and Mom divorced?
我想要告诉你
I wanted to tell you, Brad.
儿子 你从夏令营回来了
Son, you’re home from summer camp!
我不参加夏令营 我是成年人
I don’t go to summer camp, I’m a grown man. Okay?
你们笑什么 我不是参与演出
Why are you laughing? I’m not part of this! Okay?
你是这个家庭的一员 你会尊重你的父母
You are a part of this family, and you will respect your parents.
是啊 -闭嘴
Yeah. -Shut up!
布拉德 -给我闭嘴
Brad. -Just shut up.
别把我扯进去
Let me out of this bit!
那他呢 他还在吗
What about him? Is he still around?
我有个继父
Do I have a stepdad?
别这样对我了 我是付费客户
Stop doing that to me! I’m a paying customer!
布拉德 走吧
Brad, let’s go.
来吧
Come on.
平安夜
你能不能出去和他谈谈
Will you please just go out there and talk to him?
他不跟我说话 我也不怪他
He won’t talk to me, and I don’t blame him.
这并不全是你的错
You know, it’s not really all your fault.
你不能怪达斯蒂
You can’t blame Dusty.
他提出那个即兴表演时 并不知道金妮和我的事
He couldn’t have known about Ginny and me when he made that improv suggestion.
你知道 -这很明显 唐
You did know! -It was pretty obvious, Don.
像你这种年纪的人加入即兴表演
A guy your age either joins an improv group
因为老婆离开了他
because his wife left him,
或者这样他老婆离开他
or his wife left him because he joined an improv group.
所以你是故意的 -不是
So you did it on purpose? -No! Well…
好吧 我是故意的
Well, yeah. All right? I did.
你和布拉德情意绵绵 对你们的关系自鸣得意
You and Brad are all lovey-dovey and smug about your relationship.
尽一切机会表现出来
I mean, you make out every chance you get.
同时 我爸爸却抛弃了我
Meanwhile, my dad’s ditching out on me.
也许我有点嫉妒
Maybe I got a little jealous, all right?
我没想到你会发疯
Look, I didn’t think you were gonna freak out
对着一屋子喝醉的滑雪者倾吐
and spill your guts to a room full of drunken skiers!
你怎么了 -什么
Hey. What is wrong with you? -What? I didn’t…
现在就去解决这个问题
Go out there and fix this right now.
快去 -好吧
Go! -All right.
你写什么
Are you serious?
我没收这个
I’m keeping this.
你没事吧
Are you okay?
呃
Uh…
我父母离婚了
My parents are divorced.
我父母也是
Oh. Mine, too.
烂透了
Sucks.
是啊 -我想那是我的错
Yeah. -I think it was my fault.
那个也是你的错吗 -我不知道 希望不是
Was yours your fault, too? -I don’t know. I hope not.
我昨晚才知道 你什么时候发现的
I just found out last night. When did you find out?
我还是个婴儿 -你还是个婴儿
I was a baby. -When you were a baby?
也许是你的错 你是个难搞的婴儿
Maybe it was your fault. Were you a difficult baby?
我不知道
I don’t know.
你毫无知觉 我觉得那是你的错
You know what? Your lack of specifics leads me to believe it was your fault.
不是的 宝贝 你并不难相处
No, no, no! You were not a difficult baby, sweetheart.
你想对那孩子说什么
Brad, dude, what are you telling the kid?
我知道你对昨晚的事很生气
Come on, man. I know you’re upset about last night.
对发生的事我很抱歉
All right? I’m sorry about what happened, okay?
我并不想提出那个即兴的建议
I didn’t mean to give that improv suggestion.
只是脱口而出
It just… It just kind of slipped out.
达斯蒂 没关系 -是吗
Know what, Dusty? It’s okay. -Really?
是的 -谢谢你
Yeah. -Thanks, Brad.
你干嘛不进去和唐谈谈 他感觉有点
Look, why don’t you come in and talk to Don? He’s feeling a little…
天哪 我想知道那是谁
Oh, my gosh. I wonder who that could be?
多漂亮的卡车
What a nice truck!
爸爸
Daddy!
你在这儿干什么 -我做什么了
What are you doing here? -Come on. What am I doing?
我想和我完美的女儿一起庆祝圣诞节
I want to celebrate Christmas with my perfect little girl.
你不想和你亲生的父亲一起过节吗
Don’t you want to spend the holidays with your one true real dad?
好啊 来吧
Yeah, come on!
我们进小屋吧 -罗杰
Let’s come see the cabin. -Hey, Roger.
太酷了
It’s so cool!
快点 你走得太慢了
Come on, hurry. You’re going too slow.
我来了 宝贝
I’m coming, sweetheart.
你邀请他大老远来就是为了报复我
You invite him all the way up here just to get back at me?
是的 没错
Yeah, I did.
库尔特 打电♥话♥给我 -下次我来的时候
Bye, Kurt! Call me! -Yeah, next time I’m in.
那是她爸爸
That’s her dad, yeah?
啊哈
Uh-huh.
你也邀请了他
And you invited him, too, didn’t you?
没错
I sure did, yep.
我不知道我错过了什么 情况越来越好了
I don’t know what I missed, but this is getting good, boys.
我喜欢你的风格 -嘿
I like your style, Brad. -Hey, hey, hey.
你把不满全都释放出来了
You’re opening up the harbor, Brad.
港口大开 今天是舰队周
The harbor is wide open, and it’s Fleet Week!
因为我有几艘船想要起航了
All right, good. ‘Cause I got a few boats that want to set sail.
很好 我也一样
Yeah, good. So do I.
你喜欢格里夫胜过我的孩子