造物弄人（2009）

我明天要重新开始写作了 但同时
I will write again tomorrow, but in the meantime…
医生今天来给安妮抽脓水
The surgeon came today to draw off Annie’s water.
这没有伤到她 倒是缓解了她的痛苦
This did not hurt her, and seemed to give much relief.
我问医生她是否还有生命危险
I asked if there was any immediate threat to her life,
他认为她正在好转
But he believes she has turned the corner.
我亲爱的艾玛 安妮昨天好些了
My Emma, Annie rallied yesterday.
就那么一小会儿
For a moment,
我还兴高采烈的 但是现在
I was foolish with delight, but now, suddenly,
我们宝贝女儿的病情恶化了
Our dear child has taken a turn for the worse.
开始认为这次病情发作
This last attack was first
并不严重
thought to be of the smallest importance
但很快就出现了可怕的低烧状况
But rapidly assumed the form of a low and dreadful fever.
她迷迷糊糊说了很多
She talks a great deal,
但我们都不知道她在说什么
but we can seldom make out anything.
妈妈 快看 我是将军
Look, mama, I’m a general!
可怜的她嘴里说出话大多数含糊不清
Much of what she says we cannot make out
我们也不知道是什么意思
from the roughness of her poor mouth.
-我们用水和醋擦拭她的身体 -好了
– We sponged her with water and vinegar. – There we are.
-我们用漂白粉让她保持清洁 -行了
– Made her sweet with chloride of lime. – Alright.
加里认为我们可怜的宝贝病情十分危险
Gully thinks our poor, sweet child is in imminent danger.
好点了吗 亲爱的 好点了吗
Is that better, my darling? Is that better?
非常好
Beautifully good.
我在做奶油蛋羹
I’m making custard.
亲爱的艾玛 我非常想念你
My darling Emma, I miss you, terribly.
从未如此想念过你
More now than ever.
我时常想起安妮对你的描述
I often think of the precious looks Annie gives you.
你是那么温和地对待她
You were always the tenderest of human beings to her
在任何时候都那么呵护她
And comfort her so on all occasions.
希望的破灭啃噬着我的灵魂
This dreadful alternation of hope and no hope sickens the soul.
我觉得我们必须做好心理准备
I feel we must prepare ourselves for the worst.
我要听珍妮的故事
Tell me about Jenny.
珍妮的什么故事
What about Jenny?
她是怎么死的
Ab… about how she dies.
求你了 爸爸 我喜欢听
Please, papa. I like it.
饲养员给我说
Well… what the keeper told me was this.
她患了很严重的肺炎 直直地躺在那
When she was very sick with pneumonia, lying very still…
他试着用勺子喂她吃东西
…he tried to feed her with a spoon.
但是她摇头然后看着他
But she shook her head and she looked at him
好像在说
As if to say…
“你真是个好人
…”that’s very sweet of you. Really.”
我们超越了物种界限”
“We’re beyond that now.”
饲养员
And the keeper was much
被那只小小的猿猴深深地感动了
moved by the gentleness of the little ape.
他弯下身抚摸她
And as he bent down to comfort her,
她抱住他的脖子
She brought her arms up around his neck…
用人类一样的眼光凝视着他的眼睛
…and looked into his eyes in the most human fashion.
然后她躺在他怀中
And then she laid her head against him…
死了
…and died.
宝贝 我的宝贝
Oh, my darling girl, my darling girl!
对不起
Sorry.
对不起 吓着你了
So sorry I startled you.
谢天谢地 查尔斯 把外套脱了
Godness, Charles. Take off your coat.
-你都湿透了 -艾玛 我们需要谈谈
– You’re dripping wet. – Emma, we need to talk.
我回到伍斯特路去了
I went back to Worcester Road.
我看到安妮了
I saw Annie.
你捏疼我的手臂了
You’re hurting my arm.
我希望你能明白过去发生的事
I need to make you understand what happened to …
我不想听
I do not want to hear it.
-很高兴你好点了 -你根本没在听
– I am glad you’re feeling better. – You’re not listening.
艾玛 我希望你能听一下
Emma, I need you to listen
如果你不听你就永远不会明白
if you don’t you will never understand.
我非常清楚
I understand perfectly.
你以为我聋了瞎了吗
Do you think that I am deaf and blind?
你一直生活在她的阴影下
You’ve lived with her and
自从她死后你就每天跟她讲话
spoken with her every day since she died.
比起我们她更真实
She is more real to you than we are.
-她已经死了 查尔斯 -我知道
– She is dead, Charles. – I know she’s dead.
她死了
She is dead!
你到底是怎么回事
What in god’s name is wrong with you?
你为什么就不能让她安息呢
Why can you not leave our poor girl in her grave?
你才是希望她继续活着的人
You’re the one who wants to keep her alive,
只不过是晚上在云端和精灵们跳着舞
But on a cloud, dancing with little fairies.
我不听这些
I will not listen to this!
她还有雪白的翅膀
In a night shift and snowy wings!
艾玛 她的死对于你就意味着这些吗
Is that how her death was for you, Emma?
-就意味着在黑暗里伤心 -滚开
– Something gutted of darkness? – Get away from me.
滚开 我们之间横着一条沟壑
Away from you? There is a gulf between us!
我们就像是海难的生还者
We’re like some, some survivors of some shipwreck.
是的 就是因为你 你毁了一切
Yes! Yes, because of you! You’ve torn everything apart!
-我怎么了 -就是你适者生存的理论
– How? How? How? – With your cruel theories!
艾玛 那是事实 那就是事实
With the truth, Emma! Just with the truth!
开门 开门
Open the door! Open the… open the door!
开门 打开
Open this door! Open it!
你想怎么样
What do you want from me?
我希望我们能坦诚相对
I want us to be honest with each other.
坦诚什么
About what?
关于你一直抱怨的
About this… nagging belief that you have nurtured.
-关于什么 -抱怨是我害了她
– That what? – That I killed her.
我从没那么说过
I never said that.
但你就是这么想的 所以你必须说出来
But you think it, so you must say it.
把接下来所有的都说出来
And say everything else that follows,
说我那天在沙滩应该让她穿好衣服
That I should have kept her warm that day on the beach, that…
说我不该一个人带她去马尔文
…I should never have taken her to Malvern without you.
我应该等你 应该等你
I should have waited for you. I… I should have.
那只是你的想法 查尔斯
These are your thoughts, Charles.
我没那么想
They are not mine.
我那天也在沙滩上
I was on the beach.
我也没管你
And I let you go.
我知道你们一旦去了马尔文
I knew, when you left for Malvern…
我将永远见不到她了
…that I would never see her again.
我恨你
And I hated you.
我恨你带走她 查尔斯
I hated you for taking her, Charles.
我是她的母亲啊
But I was her mother.
我那时在想什么 我本该坚持的
And what was I thinking? I could have insisted.
我本该跟你去的
I should have followed you up there.
我就那么让她走了
I let her go.
这就是事实
That’s the truth.
而且
And more than anything…
我应该
…I have…
恨自己
…hated… myself.
也许
Perhaps…
也许我们就不该结婚
Perhaps we should never have married.
我们血缘关系太近了
Our blood was too close.
艾玛 我以为
You see, Emma… I thought
我们生育了一个完美的孩子
that we were making the perfect child.
也许相反
But perhaps instead we
是我们给了她虚弱的身体 从而害了她
endowed her with the weakness that killed her.
我当时就是一心想和你在一起
I just… wanted to be with you so very much.
事实如此
The fact… of it is…
我现在只知道
…knowing everything I now know…
如果再重新来一次我还是会嫁给你 亲爱的
…I would marry you again tomorrow, my love.
同一类生物的亲缘关系
The affinities of all beings of the same class
有时候可以用一棵大树来描述
have sometimes been represented by a great tree.
绿色的部分和树枝可以代表现存物种
The green and budding twigs may represent existing species,
那些每年落下的枝叶
And those produced during each former year
就代表着一连串的灭绝物种
may represent the long succession of extinct species.
所以 我认为是这些一直伴随着生命之树
So, I believe it has been with the great tree of life,
它穿透覆盖在地表的
Which fills with its dead
层层折断或死去的枝叶
and broken branches the crust of the earth,
生长出来
While covering the surface with its…