疯狂愚蠢的爱

– Uh, what was your name? – Cal Weaver.
-卡尔·韦弗 -跟丹尼斯·韦弗毫无瓜葛
– Cal Weaver. – No relation to Dennis Weaver.
美国老牌演员
《麦高探长》
McCloud.
《麦高探长》是一部七十年代的电视剧…
McCloud was a show in the ’70s that…
你不是又在聊《麦高探长》了吧
You’re not talking about McCloud again, are you?
来吧 敬我们这些堕落的人
Here we go, huh? To all of our fallen homeys.
我是五姐妹中排行老四
Well, I’m the fourth of five sisters.
不 太无聊了 不是说你的姐妹
No. That’s boring. Not for your sisters,
我说的是我的目的 这样不行的
but for my purposes, it’s not gonna work.
-好吧 -我有个朋友
– Okay. – I have this friend.
他觉得你这么漂亮
And he thinks that you’re way too pretty
肯定很无趣 那完全是胡说八道
to be interesting and that’s hogwash.
-好吧 想不想离开这儿 -好
– All right. You wanna get out of here? – Uh, sure.
走起
Giddyup.
你觉得无聊了吗 我肯定让你觉得无聊了 我…
Am I boring you? I’m totally boring you. I’m…
你是怎么做到的…
How are you doing this, like…
…兼具性感和娇俏可爱
…wildly sexy but unbelievably cute thing that you’re doing?
太奇怪了
It’s weird.
-想不想离开这儿 -好
– You wanna get out of here? – Yeah.
-好 -好
– Okay. – Cool.
莫莉六岁时 找不到波波先生了
So Molly, who’s 6 at the time, can’t find Mr. Bobo.
我们到处找遍了
We’re looking all over.
原来在厨房♥ 原来波波先生一直都在厨房♥
It’s in the kitchen. Mr. Bobo was in the kitchen the whole time.
想不想离开这儿
Wanna get out of here?
晚安
Have a good night.
-我们离开这儿吧 -好
– Let’s get out of here. -Yeah.
-我们离开这儿吧 -好
– Let’s get out of here. – Okay.
-我们离开这儿吧 -没问题
– Let’s get out of here. – Absolutely.
-我们离开这儿吧 -好
– Let’s get out of here. – Okay.
-我们离开这儿吧 -好
– Let’s get out of here. – Okay.
《三分钟带你了解离婚》
该死
Shit.
你有时间吗
You have a second?
大卫 没有时间 我很忙
Hey, David. No. Because I’m swamped.
-你一直在躲我 -没有
– You’ve been avoiding me. – No. I haven’t.
你昨天在走廊一看到我 掉头就走
You ran in the other direction when you saw me coming down the hall yesterday.
-不过你动作很快 -我高中练田径的
– You’re very fast, by the way. – I ran track in high school.
可以想像
That must be it.
你和卡尔的事 我很遗憾
Hey, listen, I’m sorry about you and Cal.
-不 你没有 -不 我没有
– No, you’re not. – No, I’m not.
我喜欢你 艾米莉
I like you, Emily.
你知道我有多喜欢你吗
Do you have any idea how much I like you?
大卫 我真的有很多事要做
Hey, David, you know, I really have a lot to do.
我没想过自己会爱上一个结了婚的女人
I had no intention of falling for a married woman…
但突然间 我们一起吃着午饭
…but all of a sudden we’re having lunch
我就成了一个
and I’m this accountant…
每天早上醒来都很期待去上班的会计
…who’s waking up every morning excited to go to work.
会计是不会这样的 绝不可能
And that just does not happen for accountants. Ever.
我问过其他会计
I checked with other accountants.
大卫 你知道吗 你一直是一位挚友
David, you know what? You’ve been a great friend.
你上个月注意到我头发修剪了
You noticed last month when I got my hair trimmed
那可不是一般的事
and that was huge.
但相信我 你知道…
But look, trust me. You know…
我是在救你于水火之中 因为
I am saving you from disaster, because
你是在着急登上泰坦尼克号♥
you’re asking to pre-board the Titanic.
你真的想搅进这种事吗
Do you really want any part of this?
我真的想搅进这种事吗
Do I really want any part of this?
-艾米莉 你要的报告准备好了 -好的
– Emily? Your report’s ready. – Okay.
好了 各位同学
Okay, people. Here it is.
纳撒尼尔·霍桑的《红字》
The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne.
十七世纪在塞伦发生的一出爱情悲剧
A romance set in Salem in the 1600s.
这是一则关于罪恶的故事
It is about sin.
你好 杰西卡 供你参考
黛米·摩尔比阿什顿·库彻大十五岁
他们看起来很幸福
爱你的罗比
被迫烙上鲜红的A字
Forced to wear the scarlet A
罗比 请别再这样了
你这样让我非常不舒服
以惩罚她的通奸行为
to punish her adulterous behavior.
丁梅斯代尔牧师的A则是以另一种形式自我惩罚…
Dimmesdale’s A is inflicted upon himself in the form of a…
韦弗先生
Mr. Weaver.
韦弗先生
Mr. Weaver.
我们是打扰你了吗
Are we interrupting?
你想讨论《红字》是吗
You wanna talk about The Scarlet Letter, Ms. Tafferty?
好吧
All right.
他们身上的A字…
Well, the A they’re both wearing…
…我觉得是代表着”混♥蛋♥”
…I think it stands for “asshole.”
想知道为什么吗
Wanna know why?
因为他们相爱了…
Because they fell in love…
…但爱情不过是给愚蠢的混♥蛋♥的
…and love is for stupid assholes.
而这本书讲的不过是关于一群混♥蛋♥的故事…
And this book is just about a bunch of assholes…
…他们像混♥蛋♥一样相爱
…who fell in love, like assholes…
…然后像混♥蛋♥一样死去
…then had to die, like assholes.
对不起 我用了”混♥蛋♥”这个词
I’m sorry about all the “assholes.”
你知道还有什么招管用吗 脏话罐
You know what else might work? A swear jar.
每说一句脏话就投二十五美分
You know, a quarter per curse word.
我们肯定会试试这个方法
Yeah, we’ll definitely try that.
好的 会有帮助的
All right. Could help.
-慢走 -谢谢
– Take care. – Thanks.
请走另一扇门
-你不是吧 -对不起
– Seriously? – Sorry.
我得回去上班
Hey, I have to go back to the office.
你得在那等我下班了
You’re gonna have to wait for me there.
好吧
Fine.
他们还在让小孩看《红字》吗
They’re still making kids read The Scarlet Letter, huh?
是的
Yep.
应该有人写出更好的作品了吧
You’d think somebody would have written something better by now.
艾米莉·韦弗
副总裁助理
我想应该把这照片取下来了 对吧
I guess I should take that down, huh?
我想是的
I guess.
所以他怎么样
So how is he? You know.
我是说 不好意思 算了 当我没说
I mean, I… Oh, no. I’m sorry. Forget it. Just ignore me.
-当我从没… -他经常出去
– Forget I ever… – He’s out a lot.
-经常 -是的
– A lot? – Yeah.
比如…
Like…
比如”很多”那种经常 还是只是偶尔
Like “a lot” a lot, or just like a little?
很多
A lot.
那挺好的 真的挺好的
Well, that’s good. That’s really good.
-今晚吃外卖♥♥怎么样 亲爱的 -我是说 他很伤心
– Wanna get takeout tonight, honey? – I mean, he’s sad.
我能看出来他很伤心 即使他外表变帅了
I can tell that he’s sad. Even though he looks better…
…我还是能看出来
…I can still tell that
他不开心 你知道吗
he’s not happy, you know?
我想我大概也很伤心吧
I guess I’m pretty sad too.
我知道
I know.
我那天晚上听到你哭了
I heard you crying the other night.
不知道如何是好
Didn’t know what to do.
罗比 孩子 你才十三岁
Oh, Robbie, baby, you’re 13,
本来就不应该该怎么面对这种情况
you’re not supposed to know what to do.
我试过在网上搜
I tried Googling it.
-不是吧 -真的
– You did not. – Yep. I did.
-你谷歌♥搜索什么 -我搜索了”妈妈睡前哭泣”
– Well, what did you Google? – I searched “Mom crying in bed.”
搜索结果是什么
What did Google say?
只有一堆古怪的视频
Just a bunch of weird videos
是一些妈妈们 在床上
of moms in bed.
天啊 够了 别再说了
Ugh. Oh, God. Okay. All right, that’s enough. No more.
那些家长控制模式到底管不管用
Do those parental controls work at all?
对我挺管用
They work for me.
因为你是个恶心的青少年
Because you’re a disgusting teenager, that’s why.
比尔想你下班走之前去找他
Bill wants to see you before you take off.
大卫 这是我的儿子罗比
Oh. Uh, David, this is my son, Robbie.
罗比 这是大卫
Robbie, this is David.
-我们是同事 -小伙子 你好吗
– Um, we work together. – How you doing, buddy?
-你稍等一会可以吗 -可以
– You all right to wait a little bit? – Yeah.