疯狂愚蠢的爱

You’ve never been to the ballet?
我很愿意带你去看一次
I’d love to take you to the ballet.
你想去看芭蕾
You’d love to go to the ballet?
不 我没这么说 我是想带你去看
No no I didn’t say that. I’d love to take you to the ballet.
我送你去
I’d drop you off.
结束以后去接你
Later on I’d pick you up
然后一起去看球赛之类的
and we could go to a ball game or something.
我懂了
Oh, I get it.
我今晚过得很开心
I had a lot of fun tonight.
你喜欢寿司吗 我知道有家小寿司店很好
You like sushi? I know this really great little sushi place…
我不吃寿司
I don’t eat sushi.
但是我们永远都不会去的因为我讨厌寿司
That we’re never gonna go to because I hate sushi.
你好 杰西卡
Oh, hi. Hi, Jess.
这位是我工作上的朋友 大卫
Uh, this is my work friend, David.
大卫是一名会计
David is an accountant.
大卫 这是杰西卡 我的保姆
David, this is Jessica, my babysitter.
一切看上去都很好
So, you know, everything looks great.
电子表格
Spreadsheets.
电子表格
Spreadsheets.
工作时见
See you at work.
上班见
Yeah, see you at work.
晚饭怎么样
So how was dinner?
-就是工作上的事情 -是啊
– Oh, well, you know, it was just for work. – Yeah.
裙子很漂亮
That’s a really pretty dress.
谢谢 我应该给你多少钱
Thank you. What do I owe you?
你知道你的孩子们是我照顾过所有孩子中
Do you know that your kids are the only ones that I babysit for…
唯一坚持不睡
…that wanna stay awake
想等爸爸回家看爸爸一眼的
so that they can see their dad when he gets home?
真的 他们用尽一切方法
Yeah, I mean, they fight with everything
让自己保持清醒
they have to keep their eyes open.
别误会我的意思
And don’t get me wrong…
你回家的时候
…no, your kids are really excited
你的孩子也很开心 韦弗太太
to see you when you get home too, Ms. Weaver…
但是没有等爸爸回家那么开心
…but not a lot wanna stay up for Dad.
亲爱的 你想表达什么
Honey, what are you trying to say?
疯子
Batshit crazy.
杰西卡 你什么…
Jessica, uh, what…?
-让我给你… -我不要你的脏钱
– Let me give you… – I don’t want your slutty money.
亲爱的 因为什… 发生什么了
Sweetheart, what’s the pro…? What’s wrong?
“脏钱”
“Slutty money”?
请给我个机会 罗比
孩子们
Kids.
孩子们 吃冰淇淋了
Kids. Ice cream.
-知道了 知道了 我马上回来
– I knew it. I knew it. – Yeah. I’ll be right back.
该死 天呐
Oh, shit. Oh, God.
艾米莉来电
你好
Hello?
-你好 卡尔 -你好
– Hi, Cal. – Hi.
所以…
So…
我打给你就是…
…I’m just calling, um…
因为我在地下室
…because I’m in the basement…
想要修热水器
…and I’m trying to get the water heater working, um…
因为指示灯灭了
…because the pilot light’s out
我不知道怎么让它重新亮起来
and I don’t know how to relight it.
很抱歉打扰你
So I’m sorry to bother you.
不不 没关系 没关系 打给我
No, no. It’s fine. That’s fine. Call me…
我很高兴你因为这个给我打电♥话♥
I’m glad you called about this.
-我就在电♥话♥这头教你 好吗 -好
– I’ll just walk you through it, okay? – Okay.
好 有一扇灰色的门
All right, so there’s a gray door.
你看到灰色的门了吗
You see the gray door?
-看到了 -好 把它滑下来
– Yeah. – Okay, just slide that down.
好
Okay.
有个红色的按钮 上面写着”按”
There’s a red button with the word “push” on it.
我在上面写了个”按”
I wrote the word “push” on it?
你按一下 然后把它拨到右边
So you push it. And you turn it to the right.
好了
I got it.
然后点火柴
And then just put the match in.
着起来了
Oh, there it goes.
再把灰色的门滑下来
Just have to slide the gray door down again
就都弄好了
and you’re good to go.
谢谢你 卡尔 谢谢你帮我
Well, thanks, Cal. I appreciate your help.
这样吧 以后这种事随时给我打电♥话♥
You know what? Just call anytime with stuff like that.
这
That’s…
好啊
Oh, yeah.
好
Yeah. Oh.
一定
Sure.
那我们有空再聊
So I’ll talk to you soon.
好 还有
Yeah, and,
还是要谢谢你
Thanks again.
不 这是 我的荣幸
No, that’s… my pleasure.
不想让你把房♥子炸了
Don’t want you to blow up the house.
再见
Bye.
再见
Bye.
爸爸 我们能去吃麦当劳吗
Dad, can we go to McDonald’s?
不行
No.
为什么
Why not?
看看
Check it out.
电台播放这个的唯一原因就是它们很上口
Only reason they play them on the radios is they’re catchy.
-谢谢 -给 先生
– Thank you. – Here you go, sir.
谢谢
Thanks.
这块布是多大的
Now, does it come in sheets…?
是的 一米二乘两米四的
Yeah, it’s a 4 by 8.
标准的一米二乘两米四
Standard 4 by 8, your 3/4 inch stock. Yeah.
-是给我太太买♥♥的 -真好
– Now, this is for my wife. – That’s nice.
它有窗帘
It has curtains.
-卡尔 -伯尼
– Cal. – Bernie.
-你好 赖利先生 -你好 赖利先生
– Hi, Mr. Riley. – Hi, Mr. Riley.
-你还好吗 -不错 你知道吗
– How’s it going? – Oh, good, you know what?
很想跟你聊聊 但是一会还要布置房♥子
I’d love to catch up, but I’m doing something to the house later.
有点赶时间
Kind of in a rush.
谢谢你送的古龙香水
Thanks for the cologne.
这个是印花棉布吗
Do you know if this is chintz?
-喂 -卡尔
– Hello? – Cal.
-雅各布 -我的天 你还活着呢
– Jacob. – Oh, my God, it’s alive.
抱歉我最近没接你电♥话♥
Sorry I kind of dropped off the grid there, pal.
在我最需要帮助的时候你抛弃了我 朋友
You left me in my hour of need, my friend.
是 但是
Yeah, well…
我现在有点情况
…I’m in a bit of a situation.
有点困难 能帮忙吗
A pickle, if you will.
我不知道要打给谁了
I just, I got no one else to call.
-我遇到了一个女孩 -真的吗
– I met a girl. – Really?
我最近一直都和她在一起 她完全打破常规
I’m spending all this time with her and she is a game changer.
打破常规 不是吧
She’s a game changer? No way.
所以我现在就要去见她妈妈了
So much so I’m going to meet her mother right now.
母亲和另外一个女儿
A mother and daughter.
这也太威尔特·张伯伦了 即使是你也有点过
That’s very Wilt Chamberlain-esque, even for you.
美国篮球运动员 自称和两万个女性发生过性关系
你怎么回事
What is the matter with you?
我不知道该怎么办 我需要建议
I don’t know what to do. I need some advice.
你知不知道你可能需要回答一些
You realize you might actually have to answer
关于你的私人问题
some personal questions about yourself.
你要保持微笑 散发魅力
You gotta smile a lot. You’ve gotta be charming.
千万别做你自己
Definitely don’t be yourself.
这就是给我的建议吗 别做我自己
That’s what you’ve got for me, don’t be myself?
好吧 谢谢你一点忙都帮不上
Great. Thanks for nothing.
你想不想
Do you wanna get a?
想不想下周去喝杯啤酒
Do you wanna get a beer next week?
你有我的号♥码
You have my number.
知道吗 今晚的事不用担心 你可以的
And, you know, don’t worry about tonight. You’ll be fine.
-替你开心 -再见 哥们
– Good for you, by the way. – See you, buddy.
滴 你得把它修好
Honk. You gotta get that fixed.
-好了 走吧 -好
– Okay. Let’s go. – Alright.