疯狂愚蠢的爱

What do you mean, what’s my move?
你的招数是什么 你的大招
What’s your move? Your big move?
我有很多招数
I got lots of moves.
-你的大招是什么 -我不告诉你
– What’s your big move? – I’m not telling my big move.
-告诉我你的招数 -你还没准备好
– Tell me your move. – You’re not ready for the big move.
-我准备好了 -你应付不了 相信我
– Yes, I am. – You can’t handle the big move. Trust me.
告诉我你的大招
Tell me your big move.
我会在聊天中提到《辣身舞》
I work Dirty Dancing into the conversation.
美国著名音乐歌♥舞片
《辣身舞》
Dirty Dancing?
-我能坐下吗 -坐吧
– Can I sit down, please? – Yeah.
-我能把上衣穿上吗 -不能
– Can I put back on my shirt? – No.
为什么是《辣身舞》 怎么做 看电影吗
Why Dirty Dancing? What do we do? Do we watch it?
你知道影片最后的大招
You know the big move at the end
帕特里克·斯威兹举起詹妮弗·格蕾那
where Patrick Swayze picks up Jennifer Grey?
-知道 -我能做到
– Yeah. – I can do that.
-好 -我告诉她们我能做那个动作
– Okay. – So I tell girls I can do the move.
我放上一首《你的人生》 做那个大招
I put on the song “Time of Your Life.” I do the big move.
然后她们总是想和我上♥床♥
And they always wanna have sex with me.
我的天 这是我听过最荒谬的事情了
Oh, my God. That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.
我同意 不过每次都管用
I agree. But it works every time.
对我就不会管用
That would not work on me.
The Time of My Life – Bill Medley&Jennifer Warnes
*Now I’ve had the time of my life*
*No I never felt like this before*
*Yes I swear it’s the truth*
*And I owe it all to you*
*’Cause I’ve had the time of my life*
*And I owe it all to you*
*I’ve been waiting for so long*
*Now I’ve finally found someone to stand by me*
*We saw the writing on the wall*
*As we felt this magical fantasy*
天呐 太可笑了 我不要
Oh, God, this is ridiculous. I don’t wanna do it.
来吧
Come on.
用可笑形容都不够
This is beyond ridiculous.
-跑过来然后跳 -不要
– Run and jump. – No.
-来吧 -不了 谢谢
– Yeah. Come on. – No, thank you.
谢天谢地我喝醉了 我来了
Thank God I’m drunk. Here we go.
你更喜欢在这做还是在卧室
So do you prefer to do it here or in the bedroom?
卧室更好
The bedroom is preferred.
好吧 我们过去
Yeah, okay. Let’s go there.
这个枕头
This pillow…
完美适合我的头型
…forms perfectly to the shape of my head.
是啊
Yeah.
这是博克斯通卖♥♥的那种海绵枕头吗
Is this one of those foam pillows from Brookstone?
是
Yeah.
-真的吗 -嗯
– Yeah? Oh. – Yeah.
我一直想知道谁会买♥♥这种
I always wondered who buys those kind of…
酒吧里的帅哥买♥♥这种 当然了
The hot guy from the bar buys these. Of course.
-雅各布 -雅各布 不好意思
– Jacob. – Mm-hm, Jacob. Sorry about that.
很好
Good.
抱歉 继续
I’m sorry, continue.
你不会还有那种
You don’t have one of those ridiculous,
可笑的按♥摩♥椅吧
um, massage chairs, do you?
-你真的有 -没有
– You do? – No.
-你有 -好吧 我有
– Yes, you do. – Yeah, I do.
-天呐 -我没有 我没有 我有
– Oh, my God. – I don’t. I don’t. I do.
谁会买♥♥啊 我会买♥♥ 我有
Who would have that? I would. I have that.
-多少钱 -五千块
– How much was it? – Five thousand dollars.
问我我用过多少次
Ask me how many times I’ve used it.
-你用过多少次 -两次
– How many times have you used it? – Twice.
按♥摩♥一次两千五百块
That’s $2500 a massage.
两次
Twice.
-在哪儿 -在车♥库♥
– Where is it? – It’s in the garage.
我能坐一下吗
Can I sit in the massage chair?
我讨厌它
I hate it.
家庭购物网 但是我…
The Home Shopping Network. But I’m addic…
我买♥♥… 我最烂了
I buy… I’m just the worst.
-你买♥♥了万能切碎器吗 -买♥♥了
– Do you have a Slap Chop? – Yes.
-那种能切开硬币的刀 -对
– The knife that cuts through the penny? – Yes.
-你还有什么 -硬币小熊
– What else do you have? – Coin Bears.
硬币小熊 不可能
Coin Bears? You don’t have Coin Bears.
我有所有州的整套硬币小熊
I have a whole set from each state.
你有五十个硬币小熊
You have 50 Coin Bears?
-它们脚上有一枚硬币 -你晚上不睡觉的
– They have a coin in their foot. – You stay up nights.
我极其不幸福
I am wildly unhappy.
我想要买♥♥到幸福 但是没有用
I’m trying to buy it, and it’s not working.
-你在学校聪明吗 -有点刁蛮
– Were you smart in school? – A little bossy, yeah.
但是我赢过一场拼字比赛
But I won a spelling bee
我爸激动哭了
and my dad cried at the spelling bee.
不是吧 很温馨
No way. That’s nice.
-你靠哪个词赢的 -很蠢的词
– What word did you win on? – It was so stupid.
我喜欢蜷缩着身体喝浓咖啡
I love curling up with a rich cup of coffee.
怎么 你觉得喝了咖啡就会睡不着吗
What, you think coffee and sleep don’t mix?
喝高点咖啡不会谁不着 低咖♥啡♥因♥的
Well, they do if it’s High Point. It’s decaffeinated.
而且味道非常棒
And the flavor is marvelous.
-你有做蛋糕的模具吗 -我有小腿裤
– Do you have that mold that makes cakes…? -I have calf pants.
我有专门展示小腿的裤子 小腿裤
I have pants just for my calves. Calf pants.
天呐
Oh, my God.
能帮我一下吗
Could you do me a favor?
-什么忙 -能帮我一个忙吗
– What? – Will you do me a kindness?
能问我一个关于我的私人问题吗
Will you ask me something personal about myself?
好 我帮你 然后我们就开搞
Okay, fine. I’ll do it. And then we bang.
好
Yes.
你妈妈是什么样的人
What’s your mother like?
我妈妈很漂亮
My mom is very beautiful.
很虚荣
Very vain.
很聪明
Very smart.
冷酷
Cold.
你♥爸♥爸呢
And your dad?
他去世很久了
He died a long time ago.
他人很好
He was such a sweet guy.
可能太好了
He was probably too sweet.
生意很成功
Very successful in business.
赚了很多钱 所以我才能买♥♥这些东西
He made a lot of money, which is why I have all this stuff.
但是他很软弱
But he was soft.
太软弱 太敏感
Just too soft, too sensitive.
而且我爸爸他不知道怎么应付我妈妈
And, you know, Dad, he couldn’t really handle my mother…
也没去努力尝试
…and didn’t really make an effort.
雅各布 我是卡尔
Hey, Jacob, it’s Cal.
你在哪儿
Where are you?
记得我搭讪的第一个女人 那个老师吗
Remember the first woman I picked up, that teacher?
她有件事我想告诉你
Well, I have a story to tell you about her.
已经一周了 还没收到你的消息
It’s been a week. I haven’t heard from you.
我是不是该担心你
Should I be concerned?
我现在都能想到你被埋在女人堆里了 回我
I am imagining you suffocating under a pile of women. Call me.
还是我
Oh. Yeah, hey, it’s me again.
给你留了好多信息
Left like a hundred messages.
听着 如果这又是《龙威小子》的梗
Listen, if this is a Miyagi thing,
我没懂 所以
I’m not getting it, so…
回我电♥话♥ 拜托 谢谢
Call me back, please. Thanks.
卡尔来电
-去过圣路易斯吗 -没去过
-Been to St. Louis? -No, I haven’t.
其实我一直梦想着
I always dreamt of playing shortstop
做圣路易斯红雀队的游击手
for the St. Louis Cardinals, actually…
美国国家联盟棒球队之一
但我打不到弧线球 只能退而求其次
…but I couldn’t hit a curveball, so I did the next best thing.
对 成为了一名会计
Yeah, you became an accountant.
是 就是这样
Right. Exactly.
钱虽然少了 但是不用总出门
I mean, the money’s not as good, but there’s less travel.
-我本来想做芭蕾舞演员 -真的吗
– I was gonna be a ballerina. – Really?
告诉我 为什么女人总想当芭蕾舞演员
So tell me, what is it with women and ballerinas?
我只是会想象自己跳芭蕾的样子
I just pictured myself in the ballet.
我倒没有接受过很多训练
It’s not like I had a lot of training or anything.
其实一节课都没上过
I mean, I actually never really had a lesson…
而且一次芭蕾都没看过
…and, um, haven’t seen a ballet.
你一次芭蕾都没看过