Just make it nice and neat.
给八块
That’ll be eight dollars.
告诉我，桑米，老实讲，我看起来怎样？
Tell me, Semmi. Honestly… How do I look?
你可以去找你的皇后了
It is time to find your queen.
告诉你个秘密
I’ve got a secret.
我崇拜恶魔
I worship the devil.
这就是问题，我找不到可以满足我的男人
See, that’s the problem. I can’t find a man that can satisfy me.
有的一个小时就没戏了，有的就一个半小时，就这样
Some guys go an hour, hour and a half. That’s it.
那些男人都不行
A man’s got to put in overtime for me to get off.
我对没有宝马开的男人没兴趣
I’m not interested in a man unless he drives a B.M.W.
要知道，宝贝儿，我就跟守活寡一样，我老公都快死翘翘了
Well, you know, baby, I’m almost single. My husband’s on Death Row.
自从大夫把我俩分开以后，这是我和特丽莎第一次出来约会
This is the first date Teresa and I have been on since the doctor separated us.
我正在玩群P
I’m into the group thing.
我以前过的就是圣女贞德过的日子
I was Joan of Arc in my former life.
♪ 我叫皮奇丝，我是最好的 ♪
♪ My name is Peaches And I’m the best ♪
♪ 所有的DJ们，都想摸我咪♥咪♥ ♪
♪ All the D.J.s want to feel my breasts ♪
我想在影视公♥司♥上班，但是我想成为我自己影视公♥司♥的明星
I want to work in videos, but I want to be my own star in the video,
因为我想做流行歌♥手、摇滚歌♥手，自己写歌♥自已演绎
because I want to be a pop singer, a rock singer, and write my own songs.
之后我还想尝试演戏，因为大伙都说我天生就是个演员胚子
And then I’m going to try an actress, ’cause people tell me I’m a natural.
之后我还要自编自导我自己的故事，把我的故事拍成电影…
Then I’m going to write and direct my own stories, produce the movies…
我希望你不会介意我过来和你们一起坐
I hope you don’t mind me coming over and sitting down.
但是我已经盯了你一晚上了，我想立刻把你的衣服撕成碎片
But I’ve been watching you all evening, and I want to tear you apart.
还有你朋友的
And your friend, too.
是我想像有问题，还是纽约的每个女人都有严重的情感问题呢？
Does every woman in New York have a severe emotional problem?
我怀疑你找不着老婆了
I doubt we will ever find your queen.
克拉伦斯先生 – 非洲小伙，你们今晚过得如何
Mr. Clarence. – The boys from Africa! How are you?
我们上哪儿才能找到好姑娘呢？ – 你们得多出门看看
Where can one find nice women here? – You’ve got to get out and look.
我们可是把皇后区的酒吧都跑遍了
We’ve been to every bar in Queens.
在酒吧里怎么能找到好姑娘
You can’t go to no bar to find a nice woman.
你们得去图书馆、教堂之类有点层次的地方
You’ve got to go to nice places, like the library and church.
或者是我今晚上要去的这个地方，黑人觉醒集♥会♥
Or this place, where I’m going tonight. The Black Awareness Rally.
那儿一定有好姑娘，良家女孩，我正要进去
There’s going to be some fine women there. Clean girls.
我今天不是来这儿告诫你们什么的
I didn’t come here to preach to you today.
但是当我看到这些来竞选“黑人觉醒盛会小姐”的佳丽
But when I look at these contestants for The Miss Black Awareness pageant,
我感觉很好，因为我知道上帝就在某处
I feel good, ’cause I know there’s a God somewhere.
上帝就在某处
There’s a God somewhere.
转一圈，佳丽们
Turn around, ladies.
你知道上帝正从上面看着我们
You know there’s a God who sits up high, and looks down low.
人可弄不出这样的尤物
Man cannot make it like this.
赖瑞·佛林特，休·赫夫纳，他们也只能拍些照片
Larry Flint, Hugh Hefner… They can take the picture,
但是他们可弄不出这样的尤物，只有上帝才能为你们造就这些佳丽
but they can’t make it. Only God above can make it for ya.
这些就是皇后区最好的女人了，挑一个然后回家
These are the best women Queens has to offer. Pick one, and let’s go home.
有点耐性，朋友
Be patient, my friend.
你们爱他吗？你们感受到了快乐吗？说“快乐”
Do you love him? Do you feel joy? Say “joy”!
快乐 – 快乐
Joy! – Joy.
快乐 – 快乐
Joy! – Joy!
大声说“阿门” – 阿门，兄弟
Can I get a “Amen”? – Amen, brother!
别不好意思叫他的名字
Don’t be ashamed to call his name.
是的，上帝
Yes, Lord!
只有上帝才能给予那个女孩那样的快乐
Only God can give that woman that kind of joy.
为上帝而欢呼吧 – 快乐
Make a joyful noise unto the Lord. – Joy!
我很高兴来到这儿 – 阿门！
I am very happy to be here. – Amen!
大声说“阿门”
Can I get a “Amen”?
我不知道你们是为何而来，但是我是为赞扬上帝而来的
I don’t know what you’ve come to do, but I’ve come to praise His name.
主啊主…
Lord, Lord…
姑娘们，你们可以下去了，非常感谢
Girls, you can leave now. Thank you very much.
上帝就在身边
There’s a God somewhere.
今晚还有一位特别来宾
I’ve got a special treat for you this evening.
一个年轻人，你们认识他也许是从电影…
A young man that you all know as Joe the policeman
《那是我妈妈》中“到底怎么啦”那个片段里，他饰演警♥察♥乔
from the “What’s Going Down” episode of “That’s My Momma”.
让我们用热烈的掌声有请他上台
I want you to put your hands together and welcome him to the stage.
热烈的掌声有请拥有杰克逊山庄的
A big round of applause for Jackson Height’s own
兰迪·沃森先生！兰迪·沃森
Mr. Randy Watson! Randy Watson.
那小伙不错 – 不错并且可怕
That boy’s good. – Good and terrible.
还有布朗牧师
And Reverend Brown.
我从小就把他当作偶像，我很爱他
He’s been my reverend since I was a little boy, and I love him dearly.
你是个很特别的人！布朗牧师！布朗牧师
You’re a very special man. Reverend Brown! Reverend Brown.
很高兴今晚上能来到这里，给你们自己来点儿掌声
It feels so lovely to be here tonight. Give yourselves a round of applause.
热烈的掌声送给我的乐队，性感巧克力
Give a big round of applause to my band, Sexual Chocolate.
性感巧克力，他们弹的太动听了，你们觉得呢？
Sexual Chocolate. They play so fine, don’t you agree?
♪ I believe the children are our future ♪
谢谢
Thank you.
♪ Teach them well Let them be the way. ♪
♪ Show them all the beauty they possess inside. ♪
♪ Give them a sense of pride, make it easier… ♪
来点好东西么，这就来 – 要可乐吗？
Some of the good stuff? Coming up. – Do you want a Coke?
喜欢这次的表演吗？ – 玩得愉快，年轻人
Enjoying the show? – Enjoy, young man.
♪ I decided long ago, ♪
♪ Never to walk in anyone’s shadow. ♪
♪ If I fail, if I succeed, ♪
♪ You can’t take away my dignity-y-y-y-y. ♪
♪ Because the greatest love of all. ♪
♪ Inside of me yeah, yeah! ♪
性感巧克力！
Sexy Chocolate!
性感巧克力！
Sexy Chocolate!
靠，这小子居然能唱歌♥ – 疯了吧你
Goddamn, that boy can sing. – You must be crazy.
掌声送给兰迪·沃森
Put your hands together for Mr. Randy Watson.
再来一次！兰迪·沃森，唱得不赖吧！
Yeah, one more time! Randy Watson, how about it!
在进行接下来的环节之前，我想对为今晚提供美食和饮料的
Before we go any further, I’d like to thank Mr. Cleo McDowell,
克利奥·麦克道尔先生表示感谢
who’s responsible for the fine food and beverage here tonight.
克利奥，我知道你为你的女儿感到骄傲，我也一样
Cleo, I know you’re proud of your daughters. We are, too.
让我们有请今晚活动的组织人之一
Please welcome one of the organisers of tonight’s festivities.
丽萨·麦克道尔小姐，丽萨，到台上来，宝贝儿
Miss Lisa McDowell. Lisa, come up here, baby girl.
给咱的新沙拉吧打打广♥告♥ – 我不会提餐馆的
Work in a plug for the new salad bar. – I’m not mentioning the restaurant.
至少把餐馆的地址说出来
At least give them the address.
有人应该把你装在盘子里，夹着饼干一口吞掉
Someone ought to put you on a plate and suck you up with a biscuit.
黑人觉醒周是自我表达的一次机会
Black Awareness Week is an opportunity for self-expression.
可以走了吗？ – 不，等等
May we leave now? – No, wait.
刚才的歌♥手通过歌♥曲来表达自己，那是属于他的独特方式，但是…
…express himself through song. In his own unique way, but…
这首歌♥表达了一点
The song makes a good point.
孩子是我们的未来
The children are our future,
我们大家都应该给予孩子表达自己的机会
and it’s up to all of us to provide a place where they can express themselves.
我们需要重建林肯公园
We need to rebuild Lincoln Park.
我们的工作人员已经拿着捐款盘子走到了各位面前，请大家尽一份力吧
Ushers are passing with donation baskets, so please – give all you can.
就算是钢镚儿我们也乐意
We’re happy to get the kind of money that jingles,
但是还是希望大家多捐点
but we’d rather get the kind that folds.
捐款，捐款！ – 我觉得没意义
Donations. Donations! – I thought it was the trash.
蠢货 – 看我不扁你
Stupid ass. – I’ll whip your ass.
你个黑得跟焦油一样的狗♥日♥的♥ – 有女生在，别这么冲动
You tar-black motherfucker. – There’s women here. Calm down.
谢谢
Thank you.
她太好了 – 阿基姆…
She is wonderful. – Akeem…
你们可以在麦克道尔的餐馆，见到丽萨和麦克道尔先生
You can see Lisa, and Mr. McDowell, at McDowell’s Restaurant,
皇后大道八五〇七号♥
8507, Queens Boulevard.
皇后大道八五〇七号♥
8507, Queens Boulevard.
你每天早上要做的第一件事，是把过道清扫干净
Your first job every morning will be to sweep this walkway.
然后把窗户擦干净，擦得锃亮
Then I want you to wash all the windows. Real good, too.
不要留下任何条纹
And don’t leave no streaks.
你在干嘛？
Hey! Hey! What are you doing?
在我扎了你的相机之前给我滚蛋！
Get the hell out of here before I bust that camera!
大伙总是把我们和麦当劳弄混
Me and the McDonald’s people, we’ve got this little misunderstanding.
他们是麦当劳，我是麦克道尔
See, they’re “McDonald’s”. I’m “McDowell’s”.
他们有金色的拱形标志，我的也有金色的拱形标志
They’ve got the golden arches. Mine are the golden arcs.
他们有麦当劳叔叔，我有麦克叔叔
They’ve got the Big Mac. I’ve got the Big Mick.
我们两家都供应全牛肉小馅饼、调味酱、生菜、奶酪、盐汁还有洋葱
We both got two all-beef patties, sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles and onions.
但是他们的小面包是撒过芝麻的，我的小面包就没撒芝麻
But they use a sesame seed bun. My buns have no seeds.
我来吧
I’ve got it.
厨房♥要每天拖两次
You’ve got to mop the food-prep area twice a day.
你知道怎么拖地吗？ – 当然
Do you know how to mop? – Yes, of course.
来吧
There you go.
别用这个桶了，省得你不知道怎么弄
Don’t use the bucket. It’ll just confuse you.
地拖完了就把垃圾倒掉
When you get through here, you take out the trash.
跟我来，给你找个容易点儿的活
Come with me, I’ve got an easy job for you.
嗨！ – 你好
Hi! – Hello.
你好
Hello.
嗨…
Hi…
我叫阿基姆