后会有期

只是 我们的异性肯定不会那么情愿
It’s just, it’s not easy for us with the opposite sex,
而斯科蒂找到一了个地方
and Scotty found a place that, you know,
可以接待 就是 像我们这样的人
caters to, you know, guys like us.
原来如此 你们要去上♥床♥啊
Ah, you’re going to get laid.
我 不 我会 但我们 我是说
Me, no. I would- but we, I mean
我永远不会 我们只是结伴一起去
I would never-we are as buddies on a field trip.
我们只是 对
We’re just- yeah.
感谢上帝
Thank God.
我还以为你们达成了什么自杀协议之类的
I thought you guys had a suicide pact or something.
自杀协议 什么
Suicide pact? What?
或者是越境贩卖♥♥毒品什么的
Or maybe you were across- the- border drug mules.
我对你们一无所知 所以就
I really don’t know you, so…
不 不 我们不是毒贩
No! No, we’re not drug mules.
不 那太荒唐了 不 我们只是 处♥男♥
No, that’s absurd. No, we’re just, uh, virgins.
好吧
Okay.
她回来了 我读不 读不懂她的表情
She’s coming back. I cannot- I can’t read her face.
我会让你现在就知道的
I’ll let you know right now.
如果你们想让我待在那个房♥间
If you want me in the room,
那钱还得另算
that’s gonna be extra.
-什么房♥间 -是啊
– What room? – Yeah.
-和妓♥女♥待在一起的房♥间 -莫
– In the room with the hooker. – Mo!
就这么一件事不让你说 你偏偏说了
You had one thing not to say, and you said it.
她以为我们有自杀协议
She thought we had a suicide pact.
为什么我们要有什么自杀协议
Why would we have a suicide pact?
我怎么知道
I have no idea,
但我♥干♥这行已经见过不少怪人怪事了
but I see a lot of weird shit on this job, okay?
那是不是意味着我们可以走了
Does that mean we’re good to go?
那当然 我又不是你们的妈妈
Yeah, I’m not your mama.
我不是你们的妈妈 也不是你们的女朋友
I’m not your mama, I’m not your girlfriend,
只要你们对我百分之百的诚实
and as long as you’re a hundred percent honest with me,
我们就都很好 来吧 上车
we’re good. Let’s get in the van.
莫 莫
Mo. Mo.
-怎么回事 -兄弟 如果我们非要听你唱
– What the hell? – Dude, if we’re gonna listen to you,
能不能来点你自己的东西
can we at least listen to some of your stuff?
你的原创作品
Some Scotty B?
你们知道斯科蒂的生活
Hey, you guys know that Scotty
就像说唱歌♥手一样神秘
has a secret life as a rapper?
-兄弟 别傻了 -之前我去他的房♥间时
– Dude, don’t be douche. – I was rolling up to his room,
就看到他沉浸在自己的口水战里
and I saw him in the middle of spitting his game.
-老兄 你想让我给你个节奏吗 -行啊
– Oh, man, do you want me to kick a beat for you? – Yeah!
-想创作新的节奏么 -等等 这很重要吗
– Want a fresh beat? – Wait, is that serious?
-我靠 -来吧 斯科蒂
– Holy shit! – Let’s do it, Scotty.
-来吧 伙计 -萨姆 你很擅长这个啊
– Come on, man! – Sam, you’re good at that.
来吧 斯科蒂
Come on, Scotty
♪ 我的名字是斯科蒂 ♪
♪ My name is Scotty ♪
♪ 我不会说唱 我的名字叫斯科蒂 ♪
♪ And I cannot rap. My name is Scotty ♪
好吧 我玩不下去了 去你们的吧
Okay, I can’t keep going. Fuck you guys.
怎么 你自己先开始的
What, you can dish it,
现在又接受不了现实吗
but you can’t take it?
今晚谁在家里想你
Who’s at home missing you tonight?
只有我妈妈
Um, just my mom.
我告诉你一个小秘密
Though I’ll tell you a little secret.
我们走前的那个晚上
I told her about this trip
我把这次的旅行告诉我妈了
the night before we left.
她什么反应
How’d she take it?
她哭了
She cried.
没错 但是她也的确挺支持我来的
Yeah, but then she actually wanted me to go.
她说她会保守这个秘密的
She said she’d keep the secret.
太好了 她35岁的宝宝
Sweet. Her 35- year- old baby
终于要破处子之身啦
is about to lose his virginity.
那你呢 你家里有哪些人
What about you? Who do you have at home?
一个人也没有 其实我
No one, really. I, um,
我以前是结过婚的 但离了 幸亏离了
I used to be married, but not anymore, thankfully.
-发生什么了 -我用枪射了他
– What happened? – Oh, I shot him.
什么
What?
我用注射枪往他屁♥股♥里灌了点胰岛素
I shot him in the ass with some insulin.
-等等 真的吗 -是的 确有其事
– Wait, really? – Yeah really.
他当时正跟我们邻居乱搞
He was on top of our neighbor at the time,
所以这是他应得的
so serves him right.
我的意思是 做这件事时真的超级有意思
I mean, it was super fun when I was doing it,
但之后 我护士资格证被吊销了三年
but, uh, then I lost my nursing license for three years. And-
所以现在我单身
So now I’m single.
我能问你一个问题吗
Can I ask you a question?
你也知道 这是我第一次那啥
Uh-you know, this is my first time doing this,
你又是个护士 所以我想也许你可以
and I was thinking maybe since you’re a nurse that you could…
等等 仅仅因为我是护士
Wait. Do you think that just because I’m a nurse,
我就可以给你一些诸如性♥爱♥秘诀的东西吗
I can give you like sex tips?
我还真是这么想的
Well, I mean, yeah.
显然你对护士这个概念的认知
Okay, you are clearly as confused
就如同你对性♥爱♥这个概念一样混乱
about the concept of nursing as you are about the concept of sex.
是的 我承认
Okay, I mean, now I am, yeah.
好吧抱歉 你只要跟随生物本能就可以了
Okay, I’m sorry. Just let biology take over.
别想太多
Don’t plan anything.
我钱去哪儿了
Where’s that money?
-在 那里 -在这里
– Oh, uh, it’s… – Oh, right here.
我帮你吧
No, I got…
-不好意思 -不好意思
– Oh, sorry. -Sorry.
-我看到了 -找到了
– Oh, I see it. – There it is.
谢谢
Thank you.
纹身不错
Nice tattoo.
你摸到了吗
You felt that?
是的 墨迹部分有凹凸感
Yeah, the ink, it raises the skin.
-对不起 我不是有意的 -没关系
– Sorry, I didn’t mean to. – No, it’s okay.
你觉得我可以
Do you think I can, um,
只要我摸到 我就可以告诉你图案
I bet if I touch it, I could tell you.
这里有处分叉 我的意思是
Like that’s a branch- no, I mean, uh-
那是个小翅膀
that’s a small wing.
让我猜一下
Okay.
一只小鸟吗
Little bird?
是只金翅雀吗
Is that a goldfinch?
挡住路了
Move it!
抱歉
Ugh, sorry.
♪ 紧身衣在身 ♪
♪ Straightjacket living ♪
♪ 我却不能像胡迪尼轻易脱身 ♪
♪ But I ain’t no Houdini ♪
胡迪尼 著名魔术师 曾表演从紧身衣中脱身
♪ 我生于牢笼 ♪
♪ Born inside a cage ♪
♪ 却没人能解放我的身体 ♪
♪ But nobody can free me ♪
♪ 每个人都投来异样目光 ♪
♪ Everybody looking ♪
♪ 却没人看见真的我 ♪
♪ But don’t nobody see me ♪
♪ 就像上帝给我 ♪
♪ It’s like God gave me ♪
♪ 这残缺的身体来取笑我 ♪
♪ This body to tease me ♪
♪ 这应该吗 ♪
♪ Believe me ♪
♪ 有时我情愿 ♪
♪ Sometimes I wish ♪
♪ 我只有个头 ♪
♪ That I was just a head ♪
♪ 没准我还能真的 ♪
♪ That maybe I would actually ♪
♪ 领头 ♪
♪ Get ahead ♪
♪ 也比困在这该死 ♪
♪ Instead I’m fucking sitting here ♪
♪ 水泥般僵硬的躯体要强 ♪
♪ Stuck in cement ♪
♪ 尽管克里斯托弗·里夫 ♪
♪ Like Christopher Reeve ♪
克里斯托弗·里夫 78年超人扮演者 95年赛马受伤致颈部以下高位截瘫
♪ 只是扮演了超人 ♪
♪ Long after Clark Kent ♪
克拉克·肯特 《超人》中超人的真名
♪ 但至少他能尝试 ♪
♪ At least he got to fly ♪
♪ 超能力者飞翔的滋味 ♪
♪ Play a man who was super ♪
♪ 而我没人帮助 ♪
♪ I can’t even take ♪
♪ 连坨屎都拉不出来 ♪
♪ An unassisted poop ♪
♪ 但去你的怜悯 ♪
♪ But fuck your pity ♪
♪ 去你可怜巴巴的凝视 ♪
♪ And fuck your stares ♪
♪ 去你们不走的残疾人坡道 ♪
♪ And if you ain’t got a ramp ♪
♪ 去你们走的楼梯 ♪
♪ Then fuck your stair ♪
楼梯
Stairs
我觉得是时候报♥警♥了