后会有期

怎么了
What’s up?
我喜欢这些盆栽
I like these ferns.
是 它们很
Yeah, they’re, uh-
嗯 它们挺讨人喜欢的
Yeah, they’re, you know.
听着 我想了想你提的主意
Listen, I’ve been thinking about your idea.
但我爸妈不让我去
My parents say it’s a no- go.
现在主要是我们老妈会互相交流
Now that our moms talk,
如果我们真要去
if we were to do this,
-那就必须得是偷偷去 明白吗 -我知道
-it has to be totally black ops, you follow? – I think so, yeah.
这就意味着你妈妈不能帮你收拾行李
It means your mom can’t help you pack,
不能帮你付钱
she can’t help you pay for it.
好吧 那我们就要找收费少点的司机
Okay, might need a cheaper driver.
我本来存了些钱来 想买♥♥平板的通信系统
I’ve been saving up some money for an iPad comm system,
但打炮第一位
but fucking honeys come first.
我们得早点走 大概下周
I say we go sooner, like next week.
为什么那么急
Whoa. Why the rush?
你 你永远不知道未来会发生什么
You- you never know.
我的意思是 如果我们要去 就尽早去
I mean, if we’re gonna do this, let’s do it.
行吧 你的女朋友怎么办
Okay. What about your girlfriend?
赶紧把莫拉进来 我们开始做计划吧
Just get Mo over here. Let’s start planning.
-莫 -是的 莫
– Mo? – Yeah, Mo.
你的朋友莫 你说他最近心情不好 对吧
Your friend Mo. You said he was down, right?
莫 对对 他最近心情不好
Mo, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, he’s down.
他可能心情不好
He’s probably most likely down.
什么叫他可能心情不好
He’s probably most likely down. What do you mean?
我还没有去问他
I haven’t exactly asked him yet.
-你还没有问过他 -小点声
– You haven’t asked him yet?! – Shh! Keep it down.
我担心你会觉得有太多的变数 会说不去
I was worried if there were too many variables, you’d say no.
要是你去的话 我就有时间能说服莫了
Then if you said yes, I’d have time to work on Mo.
结果现在你突然过来说你很急
Now all of a sudden, you’re in a big fucking hurry,
然后我又什么都没有准备 但这不要紧
and I don’t have everything worked out just yet. But it’s fine.
我会给莫打电♥话♥ 说服他去的
I’ll get Mo on the horn, just convince him to go.
看着我 相信我 我一定会搞定他的
Hey, look at me, trust me. I can handle Mo.
一个在魁北克的妓院 你 想都别想
A brothel in Quebec? What are you- no way!
你♥他♥妈♥能不能至少花上一分钟
Could you take your tampon out for half a goddamn minute
来听听我们这次旅行的细节
while we tell you the details at least?
让我和你说说加拿大
Let me tell you a little something about Canada.
从2014年起 加拿大政♥府♥就禁止
Fact: The Canadian government has been cracking down
进行色情服务业
on erotic massage parlors since 2014.
告诉你件真事
Fact: Arrested sex workers
过去的两年逮捕的妓♥女♥翻了三倍
have tripled in the last two years.
我也告诉你见真事 在加拿大涉黄是犯法
Fact: It’s only illegal to buy sexual services.
但你仍然可以对此做贡献
You can still make donations.
这我也想到了
I looked this up too.
还有一件事 莫你上一次打炮是什么时候
And fact: When’s the last time you got laid, Mo?
-对呗 压根没打过 -我不像你 斯科蒂
– Oh, that’s right, never. – Oh, well unlike you Scotty,
我想的不只这些 我想的是计划的逻辑性
that’s not all I ever think about. What I do think about is logistics.
你知道这要花几个月时间来计划吗
Do you know this would take months, months of planning?
你当然不知道
Of course, you don’t know that.
我和肌肉男已经计划好整个路线了
Me and Biceps have planned the whole route.
我很讨厌这个外号♥
I fucking hate that name.
我们在每个停留的地方都订了酒店
We got hotel rooms booked at every stop.
-什么 不 -我们准备好了三餐
– What? No! – We budgeted all the meals.
你为什么要打断我
Why are you undermining me?
你♥他♥妈♥现在让我们看上去像什么都没计划
You are making us look fucking weak right now.
-闭嘴 -听着莫 莫 听着
– Shut the fuck up! – Look, Mo, Mo, look, listen.
有些乐趣只有在旅行中能体会到 好吗
Part of the fun is that this is spontaneous, okay?
你上一次做那么疯狂的事是什么时候
When’s the last time you did something kind of crazy?
听着 是这样 我不做心血来潮的事
Yeah, look, here’s the thing. I don’t do spontaneous things.
那不是我做事的原则
That’s not my thing.
我都不知道你们为什么找我
I don’t even know why you need me.
房♥车能坐三个人 但只能放两个轮椅
The van fits three, but only two wheelchairs,
然后我也不认识其他的残疾处♥男♥
and I don’t happen to know any other disabled virgins
有健康的腿和足够的钱
with working legs and enough cash.
你知道吗 很高兴见到你 肌肉男
You know what? Nice meeting you, Muscles.
以及 去你的吧 斯科蒂
Go fuck yourself, Scotty.
-你真的是毫无说服力啊 -不不
– You are horrible at this. – No, no, you know what?
你♥他♥妈♥就是头骡子 犟得要死
You’re a fucking mule. You’re so stubborn.
你要知道你失去了一个朋友 我们找别人
You gotta know when you lost somebody. He’s out.
我会在广♥告♥网站上找个人
I’ll put an ad out on Craigslist or something.
-走吧 -去广♥告♥网站上找吧你们
– Let’s go. – Yeah, do a Craigslist ad.
-处♥男♥去找处♥男♥吧 -我根本不想让你去的
– Virgins looking for more virgins. – I don’t even want you to come.
我们会很开心的 你就自己晾着吧
We’re gonna have a great time. Go fuck yourself.
演讲激♥情♥挺足的
Great sales pitch,
接着就无可奈何去放广♥告♥了
and then now you’re getting on Craigslist.
莫 莫 我想和你谈谈
Mo, Mo, let me talk to you for a second.
这就像他去商学院读书了一样
It’s like he went to business school.
只有他自己知道自己在干嘛
Guy just knows what he’s doing.
-该死的混♥蛋♥ -首先 我想和你道歉
– Fucking prick. – First of all, my sincerest apologies.
你比我更加了解那家伙
How you are friends with that guy is totally beyond me.
听着 所有和妓院以及打炮有关的
Okay, look, all that stuff about the brothel, about the getting laid,
这些东西 都是斯科蒂的想法 明白吗
all that stuff, that’s Scotty, okay?
我和他不一样 我计划
That’s not me. What I’m proposing-
我们计划远离利特尔顿一段时间
What we’re proposing is a trip away from Littleton.
好吗 和我们一起 远离父母
Okay? With just us guys, away from parents,
诊所和医生一段时间
from the clinics, from the doc-
就是 我不知道你是怎么想的
It’s just, I don’t know about you,
好吧 但我
okay, but I-
我真的想出去透透气了
I need to get out.
我可以接受去户外走走
I could use a field trip.
不 这次比较像
It’s like a-
比较像是公路旅行
It’s like a road trip.
你保证不做违法的事吗
Promise you won’t do anything illegal?
我说服他了吗
Did I get to him?
我去 佳明 我和你说了多少次了
Damn it, Jamie. How many times do I have to tell you?
等会
Hey, hey.
怎么了
What’s wrong?
我不想和你继续吵架了
I don’t wanna fight with you anymore.
你能帮我做件事吗
Hey, can I ask you something?
但你要保密
It’s gotta be a secret though.
你不能告诉爸妈
You can’t tell Mom and Dad.
我去
Fuck.
我把计划发给你
Yo, sent you the itinerary.
你把它打印出来 仔细读它 然后删记录
Print it out, read the file, leave no trace.
找到一个收费很少的司机 他叫萨姆
Found us a cheaper driver. His name is Sam.
车子很烂 但价格合适
Van looks like shit, but the price is right.
要确保他的护照有效
Make sure he has a valid passport.
我可不想在边境惹出一片混沌
We don’t wanna any snafus at the border.
混沌是什么
What’s a snafu?
-这件怎么样 -你在逗我吗 这件丑爆了
– What about this one? – Are you kidding? That’s ugly.
那是什么 牙买♥♥加 是牙买♥♥加
What does that- Jamaica. It says Jamaica.
我要不要带这件牙买♥♥加
What am I gonna do with Jamaica?
斯科蒂 你衣服又不会说话 我怎么知道
I can’t read your fucking shirt, Scotty.
也是 放包里吧
That’s true. Put it in the bag.
肌肉男
-喂 -约炮计划启动
– Yup. – Operation Copulation is a go.
这名字真土 六点见
We’re not calling it that. See you at six.
我知道这很蠢
I know it seems silly,
但我真想得斜视 这样我就能鄙视它了
but I’d like to think I’m watching it in a wry eye,
带着讽刺的眼光 一点也不真诚
with an ironic eye, not earnestly.
来 不真诚的目光 抱歉 来
Here, not earnestly watch. I’m so sorry. Here.
他没有给她玫瑰 你一定在敷衍我
Oh, he did not give her a rose. You gotta be shitting me.
妈 把菜放我嘴里有那么难吗
Goddamn it, Mom! How hard is it to aim for my mouth?
抱歉 可是你看看他养了什么女人呐
I’m sorry! But did you see who he kept? Total bitch, total bitch.
就是个里里外外的婊♥子♥
抱歉 我只是对我讨厌的节目太认真了
I’m sorry! I’m just compelled to watch shows I hate.
-我明天再吃 -别这样 回来
– I’ll eat tomorrow, I guess. – Come back. Come on.
磨人精 你可不能在轮椅上睡啊
Hey, bug, you can’t sleep in your chair.
让我自己待会
Leave me alone.
-定早上五点的闹钟 -抱歉 请再说一遍
– Set alarm for five a.m. – Sorry, I’m not sure I understand.
帮我定早上五点的闹钟
Set alarm for five a.m.