人生遥控器（2006）

Samantha. Samantha.
我没能活两百年 不过我爱你
I didn’t make 200, but I love you.
我爱你
I love you.
比尔
Bill, Bill, Bill.
对不起
I’m sorry.
迈可
Michael.
你写给她的纸条 在你口袋里
The note you wrote her, it’s in your pocket.
(明天你是否依然爱我? )
直到永远 宝贝
Forever and ever, babe.
时间到了
It’s time to go.
我在哪里? – 你在万能卫浴寝具商城
Where am I? – You’re in Bed Bath & Beyond, sir.
你睡觉时我看着你
I was just watching you sleep.
看起来你好像做了个怪梦
You looked like you were having a crazy dream.
什么?
What?
你不该躺在床上的 不过我偶尔也会躺
You’re not supposed to lay in the beds, but I do sometimes.
我回到店里了?
I’m back in the store?
我又变年轻了 我又变年轻了
I’m young again. I’m young again.
你并没有那么年轻
Well, I mean, you’re not “young” young.
我很年轻 你则有点过期了
I’m young. You’re kind of on the back nine.
不 我的人生才刚开始
No, no. No. I’m just teeing off, baby.
你看看你
Look at you.
你想要朋友吗? 我愿意做你朋友
You want a friend? You want a friend? I’ll be your friend, baby.
我会做你的朋友
I’ll be your friend. I’ll be your…
我的老天
Oh, my God!
好耶 我的烂车
Yes, my crappy car!
你这辆普通的中产阶级烂车
You mediocre, middle-class piece of shit!
我爱你
I love you!
老爸…他在这里
Pop, Pop. Pop. There he is. There he is.
怎么回事? 怎么了? – 没什么
What’s wrong? What happened? – Nothing’s wrong.
一切都很赞 妈 我只想跟你说我爱你
Everything’s incredible, Ma. I just wanted to tell you I love you.
我爱你 – 我好爱你
I love you. – I love you so much.
告诉我硬币的秘密 我快疯了
You gotta tell me how you do the quarter trick, it’s driving me crazy.
魔术师是不会透露他的秘密的
A magician never reveals his secrets.
除非你常请我去你家吃饭
However, if you invite us over for dinner more…
你明晚就来 每天晚上都来 你想来就来
You come over tomorrow night, and the night after that. Any time you want.
你快停住我心脏病要发作了 – 不 是我心脏病发作
Stop, I’m gonna have a heart attack. – No, I have the heart attacks.
妈 谢谢你生下我 我知道很痛
Thank you so much for giving birth to me, I know it hurt. Okay?
你根本不知道 孩子 拜托 别吸大♥麻♥
You have no idea. But, honey, please, stay off the bong pipe.
那我可不保证
I can’t promise you that.
好了 我醒了
Okay. I’m up.
你觉得怎样?
What do you think?
你先帮我按♥摩♥就行
If you massage me first.
好吧 我们睡吧
Okay, let’s go to sleep.
妈 醒醒 楼下有怪声
Mom, wake up! There’s a crazy noise downstairs.
这是怎么回事?
What the heck is going on?
拜托 我正在设法专心
Hey, do you mind? I am trying to concentrate.
我整晚熬夜
Here I am, staying up all night…
想7月4日露营时 该玩什么活动
…trying to come up with activities for our Fourth of July camping trip…
你却不让我思考
…but you won’t let me think!
你要思考的时间 你为何不想想你老是…
You want time to think? Why don’t you think about the fact that you just wo…
你刚刚说什么?
What did you just say?
对 你听见了 他们对我那么坏
Yes, you heard me. If you keep up this weird attitude…
我一年不工作 要策划十次假期
…I won’t be able to work for a year and have to plan 10 more vacations.
这下你高兴了吧? – 你吃坏胜子啦?
That make you happy? – Did you eat a bad Yodel?
给我来个香吻
Give me those big lips.
这里是怎么回事?
What’s going on down here? – Ben. Ben!
过来 老天
Come here. Oh, my God.
我好想你 看看你 小子
I missed you, I missed you. Look at you, boy.
我要完成树屋 我们周末就睡那
I’m gonna finish the tree house. We’re gonna sleep in it next weekend.
我们一起运动 但我不♥穿♥蠢泳裤
From now on, we’re gonna exercise and I’m not gonna wear a Speedo.
好耶
All right! – All right.
跳得真好!我爱你
And you. Nice jump! I love you.
有一天你会变成世上最辣的美女
One day, you are gonna be the hottest chick alive.
不只胸大而且有大脑
But you still gotta have brains.
所以明天我要教你微积分
So tomorrow I’m gonna teach you calculus.
你会微积分?
You know calculus?
我就知道你会拆穿我 好吧 你妈会教你
I knew you’d call me on that. Your mom will teach you.
去睡吧 我们明天要去露营了
Now, get your rest, because tomorrow we’re going camping!
我知道 一定很好玩
I know! It’s gonna be the best!
套件毛衣 永远不准脱下来
Put a sweater on! Don’t take it off! – Okay, Daddy.
阿亮
Oh, and Sundance!
狗狗的岁月过得快 你也该享受一下真货了
Doggie years go by very quick, so it’s time to enjoy the real thing.
是啊去吧
Yeah, go get some, baby.
你去哪里?
What are you doing? What are you doing?
去找阿亮 不是鸭子
No. Go to Sundance, not the duck.
宠物店的人说他是母的
They told me at the pet store it was a female.
看来他们骗了我
They lied to me, I guess.
你今晚要待在楼下吗? – 怎么? 你想要啦?
You staying downstairs tonight? – Why? That’s getting you going?
今天是7月4日 我要跟我老婆一起庆祝
It’s Fourth of July, I’m gonna celebrate with my wife.
慢慢享受 帮她按♥摩♥ 确定她彻底满意
Take my time, massage her, make sure she is fully satisfied.
不过今天不是7月4日 今天是7月2日
But you know, it isn’t the Fourth of July, it’s only the second.
那更好 7月2日快乐
That’s even better. Happy second of July, honey.
我想我喜欢这个假日
Think I like this holiday. – Yeah?
我要去换我的宝嘉公主装
I’m gonna go change into my Pocahontas costume.
楼上见了 – 我去拿鸭子
I’ll see you upstairs. – I’ll bring the duck.
我要打给我爸 叫他准备好那个老帐篷
Okay, I gotta call my dad and tell him to get the old tent ready.
我说过 好人需要休息
“Like I said, ‘Good guys need a break.’
我知道你这次会做出正确的抉择
I know you’ll do the right thing this time.
爱你的 颜王
Love, Morty.
附注
P. S:
你老婆曼妙的身材还是令我抓狂
Your wife’s rocking body still drives me crazy.”
好吧 颜王
Okay, Morty.
谁想打枕头仗啊?
Hey, who wants to have a pillow fight?