人生遥控器（2006）

Taking him wasn’t something I wanted to do.
什么叫”带他走”?
What do you mean “taking him”?
我是天使
I’m an angel, Michael.
天使?
An angel?
我以为天使是保护人的
I thought an angel was supposed to protect people.
我是死亡天使
I’m the angel of death.
你♥爸♥ 他的时候到了
Your dad, it was his time.
你这个混♥蛋♥
You bastard.
好了 放过我
All right, leave me alone. Leave me alone.
你玩够了 带我去个好地方
You had your fun. Just take me to a good place.
各位 我们请纽曼先生讲几句话
And now, everybody, it’s time for Mr. Newman to say a few words.
好耶 迈可
Yay, Michael!
大声说吧 迈可!
Go get them, Michael! Speech!
结婚蛋糕
Wedding cake. Wedding cake.
新人在哪? 露个脸吧
Okay, where’s the groom? Show your face.
爸
Hi, Dad.
我没错过我儿子的婚礼
Ben. I didn’t miss my son’s wedding.
这太好了 儿子 幸运女神是谁?
Wow, this is terrific, buddy. Who’s the lucky lady?
很有趣 纽曼先生
Very funny, Mr. Newman.
珮姬阿姨 是你吗?
Aunt Peggy, is that you?
老天 你变的真老
God, you got old.
不 我开玩笑的 她知道
No, no. L… She… I’m just playing. She knows that.
妈
Ma.
班的太太
Ben’s wife…
欢迎加入这个大家庭
…welcome to the family.
谢谢
Thank you.
恭喜 大家有个愉快的夜晚吧
Congratulations. Let’s have the best night, okay?
你看看你 妈 你好美
Look at you, Ma. You look amazing.
迈可 你小时候才会这样亲我
Michael, you haven’t kissed me like that since you were a little boy.
你是最棒的 你知道我明白
You are the best, Ma. You know I know that, right?
小乖 你真窝心
Oh, darling, that’s so sweet.
你知道 你♥爸♥会很想来的
You know, Michael, your father would’ve loved to be here.
我知道
I know, Ma.
我很高兴你来了
Okay? I’m just glad you’re here.
我也是 乖乖 我也是 这真是太美了
Me too, bubbala. Me too. Me too. It’s beautiful. Beautiful.
真美 你看看她
Beautiful. Look at her.
唐娜 我的最爱
Donna, my favorite.
你真够蠢的 竟然放她走
You’re such a schmuck for letting her go.
不过别让我毁了你的夜晚 待会再聊
But don’t let me ruin your evening. I’ll talk to you later.
克莉丝汀
Christina.
迈可 你真慷慨 负担这一切
Michael, you’ve been so generous taking care of all this…
还有他们的蜜月
…and the kids’ honeymoon.
是啊 – 真谢谢你
Absolutely. – Thank you so much.
当然 班的老婆看来很不错吧?
Of course. Ben’s wife seems like a nice kid, huh?
我觉得她很棒 – 超级好人
I think she’s wonderful. – Definite keeper.
接着是一首《Cranberries》的 经典老歌♥
Here’s one you might remember from The Cranberries.
万中选一的歌♥?
Out of all the songs, huh?
比尔 既然这是我们儿子的婚礼
Bill, since it’s our son’s wedding…
你不介意我跟前夫共舞一下吧?
…do you mind if I dance with my ex-husband for a minute?
当然不会
Not at all. – Thank you.
午夜以前要送她回来 好吗?
Just have her back by midnight, all right, champ?
没问题
You got it, Bill.
他干嘛穿泳裤啊?
Why does he have a bathing suit on?
泳裤很赞 朋友
Nice Speedo, buddy.
你还是这么香
Still smelling good, huh?
都这么多年了
After all these years.
你快乐吗?
Are you happy?
当然 我们的儿子结婚了
Of course I’m happy, our son just got married.
不是那个 你对我们的结局感到快乐吗?
Not about that. Are you happy about where our lives ended up?
“结局” 又还没结束
“Ended.” It’s not over yet.
你真是我的唐娜 – 没错
That’s my Donna. – It’s true.
那是莎曼珊?
That Samantha?
你干嘛? 穿件衣服 遮一下
Hey. What are you doing? Put a sweater on. Cover them up.
你是怎么回事啊?
What is with you?
开玩笑的啦
Just kidding, I…
我只是不习惯看到你长大的样子
Just not used to seeing you all grown-up like this.
如果你这是称赞我很漂亮 那就谢谢你
Okay, well, if that’s your way of telling me that I look pretty, then thank you.
我们去拿蛋糕吧
Let’s go get some cake.
爸 比赛看谁先到吧 走
I’ll race you there, Dad. Come on. – Okay.
爸?
“Dad”?
迈可 你还好吧?
Michael, are you okay?
这里有医生吗? 我们需要医生
Is there a doctor? We need a doctor here!
迈可
Michael!
爸 – 爸
Dad! – Dad!
结果却是一场空
It’s just corn flakes.
跳个舞 你血管就爆了
One dance, you pop an artery.
你为何要害我浪费整个人生?
Why’d you make me waste my entire life?
你在认识我之前
You were fast-forwarding through your life…
就一直在快转你的人生
…Iong before you ever met me.
你过着你自己选择的人生
You lived the life you chose, big shot.
这不是我想要的人生
This is not the life I wanted.
这正是
It is.
(特别收录)
(迈可纽曼制♥作♥编剧导演)
看起来就是
Looks like it is.
你醒了 你感觉如何?
Hey. You’re up. How you feeling?
你们全都在 我感觉好多了
I feel better now that you guys are here.
莎曼珊在这待了36小时
Samantha’s been here like 36 hours straight.
她要等你醒来才肯离开医院
She said she wouldn’t leave the hospital until you woke up.
你为什么那么做? – 因为 你是我父亲
Why’d you do that? – Because. You’re my father.
我以为比尔才是你父亲
I thought Bill was your father.
我有两个父亲
I have two fathers.
其中有一个曾跟我说过 他会活两百年 记得吗?
One of them told me he was gonna live till he was 200. Remember?
你们都需要睡一下
You both really need to get some sleep.
我还要去赶飞机
And I got a plane to catch.
帅哥班得去渡蜜月
Big Ben’s gotta go on his honeymoon.
其实我才刚取消蜜月
Actually, I just canceled the honeymoon.
坎辛顿的案子可能有问题
Kensington deal might fall through, so I gotta go do damage control.
我得去做些损害控制 – 不不
Julie and I can go to Italy anytime. – No.
没关系的
It’s not that big a deal.
那对你老婆不公平
That’s not fair to your wife. – Dad…
爸 她明白 工作比较重要
…she gets it. Keeping the business going is more important.
两位 很抱歉 你们得走了 他需要休息
Guys, I’m sorry. You’re gonna have to leave. He needs his rest.
再见 老爸
All right. Bye, Dad.
再见 老爸
Bye Daddy.
把这拿开
Get this off of me.
朋友 你还不能出去
Hey, fella, you’re a long way from walking out of here.
我要见我儿子
I gotta see my son.
你哪都不能去 回到床上
You’re not going anywhere. Now, get back into the bed.
那不是柯林法洛吗? – 在哪里?
Isn’t that Colin Farrell? – Where?
迈可
Michael.
那些机器是用来维持你生命的
Those machines are keeping you alive.
我有话要跟我儿子说
I gotta talk to my boy.
迈可 快站住 – 不
Michael, stop. – No.
迈可 没必要现在就结束
Michael, it doesn’t have to end now.
班!
Ben!
班!
Ben!
班!
Ben!
班!
Ben!
爸?
Dad? Dad?
爸 你干嘛?
Dad, what are you doing?
你没事吧?
Are you okay?
我的老天 – 救命!救命!
Oh, my God. – Help! Help!
爸! – 救命!
Dad! Dad! – Help!
班!
Ben Ben.
家庭…
Family. Family. Family.
什么?
What?
家庭优先
Family. Family. Family comes first.
家庭优先
Family comes first.
蜜月…蜜月
Honeymoon. Honeymoon.
蜜月 我爱你
Honeymoon. I love you.
莎曼珊