人生遥控器（2006）

I thought they weaned you off the morphine.
好了 垃圾食物先生
Okay, Mr. Junk Food…
头撞伤后 你就没健康过
…since the injury, you haven’t been healthy a full day.
我什么时候撞伤头的?
When exactly did I hurt my head?
什么时候? 六年前吧
When was it? Like, six years ago?
六年!不!整场病都跳过了
Six more years! No! No! It skipped all my sickness.
我去叫他们减低止痛剂的剂量
I’m gonna ask them to cut back on painkillers.
唐娜 别走
Donna, don’t go.
这是什么?
What’s this?
那是你第三次抽脂的成果
That’s not bad for your third liposuction.
再动一次减皮手术就行了
One more tummy tuck should take care of it.
看起来好像一个舌头
Oh, it looks like a tongue…
在舔东西
…licking.
我该走了 比尔在楼下等我
Look, I should go. Bill’s waiting for me downstairs.
比尔?
So I’ll probably… – Bill?
你还跟那个水男孩在一起?
You’re still with Speedo Torpedo?
“直到永远”的承诺呢?
Whatever happened to “forever and ever, ” honey?
“直到永远”?
“Forever and ever”?
听着 迈可 为了孩子 我试图与你
Look, Michael, I’m trying to have a civilized relationship with you…
保持关系
…for the kids’ sake.
不过你这样我…
I really wanna be friends, but I can’t do that if you…
你别再翻那玩意好吗?
Would you stop flapping that thing?
这是我的皮 我爱怎样就怎样
It’s my flap, I’ll do whatever the hell I want with it!
你玩完没?
You done?
听着 比尔是我丈夫
Look, Bill’s my husband.
请你学会接受这点 我要走了
Please learn to accept that. I really have to go.
丈夫?
Husband? Donna?
不!唐娜!唐娜!
No. Donna. Donna. Donna!
欢迎莅临纽曼建筑公♥司♥
Welcome to Newman Architecture.
为你我建造一个更好的世界
Building a better world for all of us.
2018年度建筑师
Architect of the year, 2018.
你的梦想都实现了 猪头
All your dreams came true, huh, moron?
爸 你感觉如何?
Dad. Hey, how you feeling?
班杰明 看看你 看…什么?
Benjamin. Look at that. – Look… What?
你的脸 你削瘦的脸 你现在还刮胡子了?
Your face. Your skinny face. You’re shaving now, huh, kid?
你的大屁♥股♥都没了 怎么回事? 你这样很帅
Your entire ass is gone. What happened? Good for you.
是啊大屁♥股♥ 去我办公室谈吧
Right, my ass. Why don’t we talk about it in my office.
我以前的办公室
My old office.
建筑师 你怎么办到的?
The architect. How did this happen?
妈说你还有点头昏 – 不 我感觉很好
Mom said you were still a little loopy. – No, no, no. I’m feeling terrific.
你的体重 你是怎么减重的? 跟你老爸一样动手术?
The weight. How did you do it? Staple treatment like your old man?
想打胜皮仗吗? 你得看看这玩意
Wanna have a flap fight? You gotta see this…
一如往常 每周跟比尔运动五次
No. Just working out with Bill five times a week. Same as always.
那个女的真美 金发丰唇波霸
That’s a looker. Blondie, big lips. Chesty.
你女朋友?
Is that your girl?
不 那是你女儿 莎曼珊
No, that’s your daughter Samantha.
当然啰
Of course it is.
你最好永远照顾好她
And you better always take care of her…
除你之外 别让任何人碰她
…and make sure nobody touches her except you.
爸 我正在准备开会的事
Pop, I’m just getting ready for this meeting.
当然 我马上离开
Okay. Absolutely. I’ll take off for you.
我想多花点时间聚一聚 我们大家一起
I’d like to spend more time together. All of us.
带你们去吃冰淇淋 如何?
Take you out for ice cream. How’s that?
我知道你妈不会来
I know your mother won’t come…
就你莎曼珊爷爷奶奶
…but you, Samantha, Grandpa, Grandma.
不错吧?
That’d be nice, huh?
我就知道你今天有点怪
I knew something was funny with you today.
爸 坐下 我拿杯水给你
Papa, take a seat. Let me get you a water, okay?
我们干嘛坐下?
What are we sitting for?
来了 爸 喝点水 好 就喝点水
Here you go, Pop, drink this. – All right. Drink some water.
我喝了水了 怎么回事?
There, I had my water. What’s going on?
爷爷已经死了
Grandpa died, Dad.
他前一阵子死的
He died a while back now.
不
No, no, no.
别乱讲
Don’t say that.
我刚刚说到哪了?
Where was I?
你在哭?
You’re crying?
怎么回事?
What happened?
年纪大了 人生就是这样
Nothing. You know, he just got old. That’s life.
出生成长死亡
Shit. – You’re born and you live and you die.
天呐 我得走了
Man, I gotta go.
等等 苏茜 延后我下一个会议
Hey, hang on. Susie, push my next meeting.
不 你去开会 我只头晕罢了
No, no, do your meeting. It’s fine. I’m just dizzy.
你为什么哭? – 我手术过后有点头晕
Why are you crying? – I’m dizzy from the operation.
你会让我也哭的 你不用离开的
You’re gonna make me cry, Dad. – You don’t… You don’t have to go.
你看起来…很不错
You look… You look good.
没关系 再见
It’s all right. Goodbye.
快点快啊
Come on.
快点快啊
Come on.
它不会带你到那里去的
It won’t take you there.
带我去哪?
Take me where?
他过世的那一刻 你根本不在场
To the moment he died. You weren’t there.
我当然不在
Of course I wasn’t.
请带我去最后一次看到他的时刻
Can you take me to the last time I saw him, please?
爸 抱歉打扰你
Hey, Dad. Sorry to bug you.
能不能再看看我购物中心的设计
Would you mind looking at my shopping mall design again?
这个比较便宜
This one is cheaper.
不过如果你注意看
But if you check this out…
你会发现它的线条比较自然
…you’ll see it has a much better natural flow…
便宜…我说过 先让我回邮件
Cheaper one, like I said. Now, just let me do my e-mail.
你说的对 便宜比较好
Yeah. Yeah, you’re right, Dad.
他才不对 你这白♥痴♥ 看看啊
He ain’t right. You’re a schmuck! Look at it!
惊喜!
Surprise.
爷爷
Hey, Grandpa.
我的老天
Oh, my God.
你什么时候变得这么帅的?
When did you get so handsome?
儿子 我有个很棒的主意
So, Michael, I had a wonderful idea.
你妈今晚跟朋友去玩牌
Your mother’s playing canasta with her friends tonight.
我想这机会太赞了
I thought, “What a great opportunity.”
你我和班该过个男人之夜
You, me and Ben should go and have a boys’ night out.
不行 – 什么叫不行?
Can’t. – What do you mean you can’t?
你总得吃东西
You have to eat sometime.
我们可以去把妹
We could go, we could whistle at pretty girls.
我行 – 看到没?
I’m down for that. – See? He’s down.
我不懂意思 不过他行
I don’t know what it means, but he’s down.
拜托 – 别给我看那根手指头
Hey. Please. – Don’t give me that finger.
我跟你谈条件
I’ll make you a deal.
你来 我就给你看硬币秀
If you come, I’ll show you the quarter trick.
你看看那个老人好吗? – 我会把秘密告诉你
Will you look at the man? – I’ll tell you the secret.
不 爸
No, Dad.
你不是想知道…
Don’t you wanna know how l…?
我一直都知道你的蠢把戏怎么弄
I know how you do the stupid trick. I’ve always known.
能让我工作了吗?
Can you let me do my work?
你一直都知道?
You’ve always known.
你真可悲
You’re pathetic.
好吧
Okay.
抱歉突然跑来
I’m so sorry I barged in.
我爱你 儿子
I love you, son.
回头见了 爷爷 我爱你
See you later, Grandpa, I love you.
爸
Dad.
老爸
Pop.
老爸
Pop.
我爱你 儿子
I love you, son.
我爱你 儿子
I love you, son.
我爱你 儿子
I love you, son.
我也爱你 爸
I love you too, Dad.
我会想念你
I’ll miss you.
你知道的
You know that.
再见
Goodbye.
你父亲的事我很抱歉
I’m sorry about your father.
我并不想带他走