疯狂店员（1994）

Let the past be the past.
别提Caitlin Bree了
Forget Caitlin Bree.
你和Veronica认识多久了
You been with Veronica how long now ?
－七个月 －够蠢的
-Seven months. -Chick’s nuts about you.
－你和Caitlin认识多久了?
-How long you date Caitlin ?
－五年
-Five years.
伙计 只有你才这么傻
Chick only made you nuts, man.
她骗过你多少次了?
She cheated on you how many times ?
－八次半 －八次半?
-Eight and a half. -Eight and a half ?
在John Kay的聚会上
Party at John Kay’s,
高三的时候
senior year;
搞得太累 我昏倒在他的卧室里
I get blitzed, pass out in his bedroom.
－Caitlin进来跳到我身上
-Caitlin comes in and jumps all over me.
－那也叫被骗?
-So that’s cheating ?
－不中途她叫我Brad
-No. In the middle of it she called me Brad.
－她叫你Brad?
-She called you Brad ?
那不是欺骗
That’s not cheating.
人们在做♥爱♥时都要说些疯话的
People say crazy shit during sex.
－有一次 我叫这女孩”妈妈”
-One time, I called this girl “”mom.””
－我把灯砸了 她个怪物
-I hit the light, she freaks.
－她把我看成Brad Michelson －你是什么意思?
-She thought I was Brad Michelson. -What do you mean ?
她希望漆黑的床上见到Brad 她找错人了
She was supposed to meet Brad in a dark bedroom. She picked the wrong one.
－她甚至不知道我在那次聚会上
-She didn’t even know I was at the party.
－噢 我的上帝
-Oh, my God.
－好听 哈? －那个女孩对你来是中耻辱
-Great story, huh ? -That girl was vile to you.
更有趣的是 知道Brad和谁在睡觉吗?
Interesting postscript to that story. Do you know who wound up in that bedroom with Brad ?
－你老母? －Alan Harris
-Your mother ? -Alan Harris.
－象棋队的Alan Harris? －他们后来一起搬到Idaho
-Chess team Alan Harris ? -The two moved to Idaho together.
他们养羊去了
They raise sheep.
－真令人恐惧 －林子大了什么鸟都有
-That’s frightening. -Takes different strokes to move the world.
按这个恐怖的故事来看 我不明白…
In light of this lurid tale, I don’t see…
你怎么能会和Caitlin勾搭上
how you could romanticize your relationship with Caitlin.
她会伤害你的心 悄悄的腐蚀你的生活
She broke your heart and inadvertently drove men to deviant lifestyles.
我们的关系上有很多好的方面
There was a lot of good in our relationship.
除了欺骗以外 我们是不错的一对
Aside from the cheating, we were a great couple.
就跟高中一样： 代数 难吃的午餐和不贞
That’s what high school was about: algebra, bad lunch and infidelity.
－你认为这次会不同吗? －当然啦
-You think things will be different this time ? -They are.
现在的她和以前不同了 她太易受伤了
When she calls me now, she’s a different person. She’s frightened, vulnerable.
她正在完成她的大学学业
She’s finishing college
即将不如社会 会让你刮目相看的
and about to enter the real world. That’s scary for anyone.
－狗屁 我想申请个订单
-Shit, I gotta place an order.
－我这在自言自语啊
-Talkin’ to myself here.
－我在听她离开了大学并且…
-I’m listening. She’s leaving college and–
－并且她正在寻求帮助
-And she’s looking for support.
－我想这会把我们的关系
-I think this is leading our relationship
发展到个新的层次的
to a new level.
－那Veronica怎么办?
-What about Veronica ?
我想Veronica和我间的争吵表明了
I think the arguments Veronica and I are having are some kind of manifestation…
我和她分开是潜意识的愿望
of a subconscious desire to break up with her,
这也说明我能和Caitlin发展更有意义的关系
so I can pursue a more meaningful relationship with Caitlin.
－和Caitlin相处融洽吗? －可以这么说吧
-Caitlin’s on the same wavelength ? -it’s safe to say yes.
－我想你们四个最好坐下来好好谈谈
-I think all four of you better sit down and talk it over.
－四个?
-All four ?
你 Veronica Caitlin和Caitlin的未婚夫
You, Veronica, Caitlin and Caitlin’s fianc?
－卖♥♥录像带吗? －卖♥♥ 你要什么片子?
-Do you sell video tapes ? -Yeah. What are you looking for ?
－Happy Scrappy Hero Pup －呃 稍等
-Happy Scrappy Hero Pup. -Uh, one second.
我正在和发行商通话 让我看看他们有没有
I’m on the phone with the distribution house. Let me make sure they got it.
－叫什么来着? －Happy Scrappy Hero Pup
-What’s it called again ? -Happy Scrappy Hero Pup.
－Happy Scrappy– －她很喜欢 －很明显
-Happy Scrappy– -She loves it. -Obviously.
这是RST录像店 顾客号♥4352
This is RST Video calling. Customer number 4352.
我想申请个订单
I’d like to place an order.
下面的录像带我每个要一个：
I need one each of the following tapes:
Whispers in The Wind To Each His Own
Whispers in The Wind, To Each His Own,
Put it Where it Doesn’t Belong My Pipes Need Cleaning
Put it Where it Doesn’t Belong, My Pipes Need Cleaning,
All Tit Fucking, Volume Eight I Need Your Cock
All Tit Fucking, Volume Eight, I Need Your Cock,
Ass Worshipping Rim Jobbers My Cunt And Eight Shafts
Ass Worshipping Rim Jobbers, My Cunt And Eight Shafts,
Cum Clean Cum Gargling Naked Sluts Cum Buns III
Cum Clean, Cum Gargling Naked Sluts, Cum Buns III,
Cumming in Socks Cum On ilene
Cumming in Socks, Cum On ilene,
Huge Black Cocks With Pearly White Cum
Huge Black Cocks With Pearly White Cum,
Girls Who Crave Cock Girls Who Crave Cunt
Girls Who Crave Cock, Girls Who Crave Cunt,
Men Alone II: The KY Connection Pink Pussy Lips
Men Alone II: The KY Connection, Pink Pussy Lips,
哦 是的 还有 呃 All Holes Filled with Hard Cock
oh, yeah, and, uh, All Holes Filled with Hard Cock.
是的噢 等等 那个叫什么来着?
Yup. Oh, wait a minute. What was that called again ?
我是一根针 你知道
从不想做一根干草
不要妄想打破我的心
我知道人们正在出♥卖♥♥♥他们的灵魂
带它到我知道的任何地方 我向你保证
这让我感到恶心
是的 我想检查今天这版的印刷错误
Yes, I’d like to check on a misprint in today’s edition.
今天这版
Today’s edition.
上面说 “Bree to wed Asian design major”
It says, “”Bree to wed Asian design major.””
不 拼写是对的
No, everything’s spelled fine.
我只是感觉是否文章印错了
I was just wondering if the article was a misprint.
我不知道 有点像排版错误
I don’t know, Like a typographical error or something.
可能应该是 “Caitlin Bray” 或者”Caitlin Bre” 只是一个”E”结尾
Maybe it should say, “”Caitlin Bray”” or “”Caitlin Bre”” with one “”E.””
我只是好奇 好奇
I’m a curious party. A curious party.
我是她前男友
I’m an ex-boyfriend, and, well,
我一直和她谈的 她从来没有提过婚约
I talk to her all the time and she never mentioned this engagement.
所以我想是不是印错了
That’s why I’m thinking maybe it’s a misprint.
你确定吗? 可能有个印刷工故意报复你呢
Are you sure ? Maybe there’s a vindictive printer working for you.
也许吧 曾经有人约她出去过 并做了那事
Meaning like, someone who asked her out once and got shot down,
所以这是他报复性的把
and this is his revenge by putting
这错误的文章印到报纸上
this bogus article in the paper when it went to press.
喂 喂?
Hello. Hello ?
我可不管她是不是我表妹
I don’t care if she’s my cousin,
我今晚还要操她们的B
I’m gonna knock those boots again tonight.
－瞧瞧这是谁 他妈的大BB －死套子 你在干嘛?
-Look who it is. The fuckin’ human vacuum. -Scumbag, what are you doing ?
－和Silent Bob以及他的表弟闲逛 －他是你表弟?
-Just hanging with Silent Bob and his cousin. -He’s your cousin ?
－他也是从俄♥罗♥斯♥来的 －胡扯
-He’s from Russia too. -No way.
－俄♥罗♥斯♥哪里来的?
-What part of Russia ?
－我不知道 你♥他♥妈♥查户口的啊
-I don’t know. Do I look Like his fuckin’ biographer ?
－Olaf 你来自俄♥罗♥斯♥哪个地方? －莫斯科
-Olaf, what part of Russia are you from? -Moscow.
－他只会说俄语?
-He only speaks Russian ?
－他可以说些英语 但说得不像我们这么好
-He speaks some English, but he cannot speak it good like we do.
－他住在附件? －不 这周就搬到城里去
-Is he staying here ? -Nah, he’s moving to the big city this week.
－他想做个金属乐演奏手 －瞎扯
-He wants to be a metal singer. -No way.
我发誓 Olaf 金属乐
I swear. Olaf, metal.
那是他妈的金属脸 Olaf 这妞不错吧
That’s his fucking metal face. Olaf, girl nice ?
令人着迷
-That’s fucked up, man.
－他说什么? －我不知道 但这家伙很有型
-What did he say ? -I don’t know, man, but this guy’s a character.
－他真想演奏金属乐吗?
-He really wants to play metal ?
－是的 他在莫斯科有他自己的乐队
-Yeah, he’s got his own band in Moscow.
－叫什么”Fuck Your Yankee Blue Jeans” －听起来不像是金属乐队的
-it’s called “”Fuck Your Yankee Blue Jeans”” or something. -That doesn’t sound metal.
你应该听他唱唱 Olaf “Berserker”
You gotta hear him sing. Olaf, “”Berserker.””
－来呀 伙计 “Berserker”! －他用英语唱还是俄语?
-Come on, man, “”Berserker”” ! -Does he sing in English or Russian ?
用英语 来呀 “Berserker” 妞们想来点性感的
In English. Come on, “”Berserker.”” Girls think sexy.
－啊 啊 －瞧 他要唱了太搞笑了
-Aah. Aah. -Watch, he’s gonna sing it. It’s too funny.
我对你的爱就像一辆火车 berserker
你要做♥爱♥吗 berserker
－真♥他♥妈♥的搞笑 伙计 －他说”做♥爱♥”吗?
-That’s fuckin’ funny, man. -Did he say, “”making fuck”” ?
我对你的爱就像一辆火车 berserker
你愿吸我鸡♥巴♥吗 berserker
好极了 伙计
That’s beautiful, man.
抓住柜台 我要拔了
Hold on to the counter and I’ll pull.
通常我只把罐头倒过来
Usually I just turn the can upside down.
也许我们应该给你手抹点肥皂
Maybe we oughta soap your hand up.
他们应该在这些东西上给个警告的
They oughta put a warning on these things,
就像香烟样
like they do with cigarettes.
－我想快出来了
-I think it’s coming !
谢谢 我本以为必须去医院才行
Thanks. I thought I was going to have to go to the hospital.
作为防范措施 我会把这个扔掉的
I’ll throw this out as a precautionary measure.
有点刺痛
Stings a little.
提点建议：
A little word of advice:
有时这些难拿到的土豆片就不要就是了
Sometimes you got to let those hard-to-reach chips go.
谢谢