疯狂店员（1994）

女士们先生们 亚裔设计师小姐本人 Caitlin Bree
Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Asian Design Major herself, Caitlin Bree.
你看过那篇公告了?
You saw that article ?
上帝 是不是有点恐怖? 我妈妈发上去的
God, isn’t it awful ? My mother sent that in.
－我还以为她真喜欢那家伙呢
-I take it she likes the guy.
－你以为她要嫁给他了
-You’d think she’s marrying him.
－你在看什么? －儿童节目
-What are you watching ? -Children’s programming.
当你告诉你妈妈你不订婚了 她怎么说?
What’d your mom say when you told her you weren’t engaged anymore ?
她叫我毕业前不要回家了
She said not to come home until after graduation.
喔! 你真愿意为Dante付出这一切?
Wow ! You got thrown out for Dante ?
我能说什么呢? 他跟我做些怪事
What can I say ? He does weird things to me.
－哦 我能瞧瞧吗? －你可以牵制我
-Ooh, can I watch ? -You can hold me down.
－我能加进来吗? －你也许能牵制
-Can I join in ? -You might be let down.
－我可不是个阴阳人 －嘿 很少有的
-I’m not a hermaphrodite. -Hey, few are.
你怎么会认为这次你能和他维持好关系呢?
What makes you think you can maintain a relationship with him this time around ?
女人的直觉
A woman’s intuition.
我内心告诉我应该给这老朋友一次机会了
Something inside of me says it’s time to give the old boy a serious try.
喔! 你知道 你和我有些共同点
Wow ! Hey, you know, you and I have something in common.
－我们都吃中国菜 －去死吧
-We both eat Chinese. -Dick.
－是的 －他去哪儿了?
-Exactly. -So where is he ?
他为准备他约会而回家换衣服了
He went home to change for the big date.
－上帝 他是不是不好? －不 这才好呢
-God, isn’t he great ? -No. This is great.
哦 上帝 我能用下你们的盥洗室吗?
Oh, lord. Can I use your bathroom ?
－那儿没有灯 －为什么没有灯?
-There’s no lights back there. -Why aren’t there any lights ?
原来有的 但有些原因使得
There are, but for some reason
他们在每天的5：14后就不亮了
they stop working at 5:14 every night.
－你开玩笑吧 －没人知道是什么原因
-You’re kidding. -Nobody can figure it out.
老板不想花钱请人来修它…
The boss doesn’t want to pay the electrician to fix it…
因为电工欠音像店的钱
’cause the electrician owes money to the video store.
－这种事都有 －我被夹在中间
-Such a sordid state of affairs. -And I’m caught in the middle,
被我对老板的忠诚和对开着灯小便
for the boss and my desire to piss with the lights on.
的欲望所折磨
torn between my loyaltyon.
呃 我能应付的
Well, I’ll try to manage.
哦 嘿 Caitlin?
Oh, hey, Caitlin ?
如果这次你再让他伤心的话
Break his heart again this time,
我不会放过你的
and I’ll kill ya.
一点不留情面的
Nothing personal.
你很照着他嘛 Randal 你总是这样的
You are very protective of him, Randal. You always have been.
我的实力范围 他是我的
Territoriality. He was mine first.
哦 你真是太可爱了
Oh, that was so cute.
谁在吃鸡♥巴♥?
Who eats cock ?
镇上的一群混♥蛋♥
Bunch of savages in this town.
嘿 Caitlin在后面 你也许想检查一下她吧
Hey, Caitlin’s in the back. You might want to check on her.
－她已经很久没有回来过了
-She’s been back there a long time.
－后面没有灯的
-There are no lights back there.
我告诉我她的 她说她能应付
I told her that. She said she didn’t need any.
你为什么不跟她一起去?
Why don’t you go join her ?
在盥洗室做些小动作
Make a little bathroom bam-bam.
哦 我喜欢听你色情笑话 很幼稚
Oh, I love your sexy talk. It’s so kindergarten.
－”小BB” “小鸡鸡” －操
-“”Poo-poo,”” “”wee-wee.”” -Fuck you.
我说不要
I said stop.
－哦 上帝 －总是痛苦 你个杂种!
-Oh, God. -it’s all about pain, you bastard !
你怎么这么快就来了?
How did you get here so fast ?
我回去已经一个小时了
I left like an hour ago.
你总是 说些这种奇怪的话
Do you always talk this weird
after you
也许亚裔设计师给她吸了点鸦♥片♥烟
Maybe the Asian design major slipped her some opium.
－有可能 －和以前有很大的不同
-Could be. -it has never been like that before.
像什么?
Like what ?
当你平躺的时候 让我随便怎么做
When you just lay perfectly still and let me do everything.
我有没有少听到些什么?
Am I missing something here ?
好吧
Okay.
我回到那里的时候 Dante已经在那里等我了
I went back there and Dante was already waiting for me.
－他在吗? －真是太酷了
-He was ? -it was so cool.
他一个字也没说 他也不必说
He didn’t say a word. He didn’t have to.
他只是…准备
He was just… ready.
你知道接着
You know. And, like,
我们既没有接吻 也没有说话
we didn’t kiss or talk
什么事都没有做
or anything.
他只是坐在那里 什么都让我来做
He just sat there and let me do all the work.
你个小坏蛋! 我甚至没有看到你到那儿去
You dog ! I didn’t even see you go back there.
实际上那儿也没有灯来这么做…
The fact that there weren’t any lights on made it so–
上帝 太好了!
God, that was so great !
我的腿在发抖
My legs are still shaking.
那不是我
-it wasn’t me.
是啊 对 那是谁呢? Randal?
Yeah, right. Who was it, then ? Randal ?
－是你吗? －我一直都在这里
-Was it you ? -I was up here the whole time.
－你俩最好别争了 －我认真的
-You two better quit it. -I’m serious.
哦 难道我们没有在盥洗室做♥爱♥吗?
Oh, so we didn’t just have sex in the bathroom ?
没有
No.
不要说了 这可不是开玩笑
Stop it. This isn’t funny.
我可没有在这儿闲逛 我刚从外面进来
I’m not fooling around. I just came in from outside.
－这一点都不好玩 Dante －我没有开玩笑
-This isn’t fucking funny, Dante. -I’m not kidding.
－那谁在后面? －没人 我发誓
-Who went back there ? -Nobody. I swear.
－我感觉恶心 －你确信没有人在后面吗?
-I feel nauseous. -Are you sure there was someone back there ?
那好 我不会在后面自己和自己做♥爱♥吧 上帝!
Well, I didn’t just fuck myself ! Jesus Christ !
－上帝 我感到恶心 －你刚才操了个陌生人?
-God, I’m gonna be sick ! -You just fucked a total stranger ?
－他妈的闭嘴! －我不敢相信
-Shut the fuck up ! -I can’t believe this.
－叫警♥察♥吧 －为什么? －不 别叫!
-Call the police. -Why ? -No, don’t !
那有个陌生人在盥洗室! 他刚才强♥奸♥了Caitlin!
There’s a stranger in our bathroom ! He just raped Caitlin !
－她说她做了全部事
-She said she did all the work.
－你♥他♥妈♥的能给我闭嘴吗?
-Will you shut the fuck up ?
谁他妈的在我们的盥洗室?
Who the fuck’s in our bathroom ?
他是谁?
Who is he ?
我不知道他只是进来要用盥洗室
I don’t know. He just came in and asked to use the bathroom.
－什么时候? －我不知道
-What time was this ? -I don’t know.
玩曲棍球什么时候结束的?
What time did hockey end ?
呃 好像是 大概3:00 3:30
Um, like 3:00, 3:30.
－我们从葬礼上回来是几点? －4：00 我想
-What time we get back from the funeral? -4:00, I think.
－等等谁在这里上班 －只有我
-Wait. Who was working here ? -Just me.
你是说你去玩了曲棍球然后去了葬礼
I thought you just said you went to play hockey and then went to a funeral.
－是的 －那谁在看店呢?
-Yeah, we did. -Then who was operating the store ?
－没人 关门了 －把这个人锁在里面?
-Nobody. it was closed. -With this guy locked in here ?
呃 每件事都发生的很快
Well, everything happened so quickly,
我想我忘记他还在那儿了
I guess I forgot he was back there.
－我们可以带走了吗? －带走把
-Can we take it now ? -Go ahead.
在Caitlin做那个的时候 他还活着吗?
Was he alive when Caitlin–
不 我推测他死亡时间3：20
No. I place the time of death about 3:20.
那么说她是怎么… 你知道
Then how could she–You know.
尸体可以断气后还能勃起 有时数小时
The body can maintain an erection after expiration, sometimes for hours.
他进来的时候有带成人杂♥志♥吗?
Did he have the adult magazine when he came in ?
呃 不 我给他的
Uh, no. I gave it to him.
他问我要的
He asked me for it.
我还不能确切的说
I can’t say for certain
只有回到实验室后才能确定
until we get him back to the lab,
但是我猜可能是…
but my guess is…
他当时正在手♥淫♥ 接着他心脏受不了就死了
he was masturbating, his heart seized and he died.
那个时候那姑娘发现了他
That’s when the girl found him.
呃 什么东西闻起来像鞋油味道
Uh, something smells Like shoe polish.
这是叫你来后我见到的最奇怪的事
This has got to be the weirdest thing you’ve ever been called in on.
实际上 我曾经遇到过有个男孩
Actually, I once had to tag a kid
试图把他的阴♥茎♥放到他嘴里
trying to put his mouth on his penis
结果把他的脖子扭断了的事
that broke his neck.
Caitlin怎么样了?
What about Caitlin ?
震惊创伤她需要好几年才能治好
Shock trauma. She’s gonna need years of therapy after this.
我的问题事：她怎么会和一个死人做♥爱♥?
My question is: How did she come to have sex with a dead man ?
她以为那是我
She thought it was me.
你们这里开的到底是什么样的便利店啊?
What kind of convenience store do you run here ?
Salsa鲨
Salsa shark.
“我们需要一个大点的船”
“”We’re gonna need a bigger boat.””
人进到笼子 笼子进到salsa里
Man goes into cage, cage goes into salsa.
鲨鱼在salsa里 我们的鲨鱼