疯狂店员3（2022）

现在…
Now…
天啊 我好孤单
God, I’m so alone.
我知道
I know.
我知道失去我和葛蕾丝
I know losing me and Grace…
让你伤心欲绝
broke you.
但你不知道你有多幸运
But you don’t know how lucky you have it.
什么？
What?
我们的生命之书已经阖上了
The Book of Life is closed for the two of us.
而你… 还可以翻开下一个篇章
But you… can still turn a page.
还能继续写出生命的故事
You get to keep writing the story of your life.
没有妳这些还有什么意义？
Why bother without you?
还有很多很多的故事可以说 希克斯
Because there are more tales to tell, Hicks.
只要你还活着
As long as you’re alive,
随时可以着笔展开下一个章节
you can always start another chapter.
所以你要尽情挥洒生命 尽其所能去爱
So live while you can, love while you can.
真是的
God damn it.
做大一点的梦
Dream bigger.
听起来还真浪漫
That all sounds pretty romantic
居然是个不相信爱情的女孩口中说出来的话
coming from a girl who doesn’t believe in romantic love.
我不相信爱情
I don’t believe in romantic love.
这才是妳
That’s my girl.
但我相信你
But I do believe in you.
想在电影里面露脸吗？
第一大道剧场试镜会 星期天下午三点
第一大道剧场
我想谢谢大家让我有机会站在这里
Hey, I wanna thank you guys for having me here today.
我一直想成为演员
I’ve always wanted to be an actor.
很好
Nice.
我今天就不应该在这里
I’m not even supposed to be here today!
我今天就不应该在这里
I’m not even supposed to be here today.
我今天就不应该在这里
I’m not even supposed to be here today.
我今天就不应该在这里
I’m not even supposed to be here today.
我今天就不应该在这里
I’m not even supposed to be here today.
我他妈的今天就他妈的
I’m not even supposed
不应该在他妈的这里
to fucking be here to fucking day, fucks.
看！我还以为是警♥察♥来了
Oh, shit! I thought that was the police.
我不应该在这里的
I’m not even supposed to be here.
以灰骷髅的力量为名
By the power of Grayskull,
我今天就不应该在这里
I am not supposed to be here today!
嘿 我是乔
Hey, I’m Joe.
今年45岁 最近刚离婚
Uh, I’m 45-years-old, recently divorced,
想说过来试试看也好
and I figured I’d give this shit a go. Uh…
我今天就不应该在这里
I am not even supposed to be here today.
就是这样没错
Damn right.
嗯…
Uh…
狮子脸
Lion face.
柠檬脸
Lemon face.
我今天就不应该在这里
I’m not even supposed to be here today.
我自我介绍一下
Um… A little about me.
工作上大家叫我波士顿约翰
I’m known professionally as Boston John.
那是我的艺名
That’s a nom de plume.
劳勃狄尼洛是我的孤独偶像
Uh, Robert De Niro is my fuckin’… Lone star.
知道我在说什么吗？闭上你们的眼睛
You know what I’m saying? Close your eyes. Just…
闭上你们的眼睛听听看 准备好了？好了吗？
Close your eyes. Just listen. Ready? All right?
我有乳♥头♥ 格雷
I have nipples, Greg.
你能挤我的奶吗？
Could you milk me?
就是这个 贱♥人♥ 没错
Fuck, that is one, bitch. All day.
能不能再来一个史瓦辛格的？
Can you give me one like Schwarzenegger?
我今天就不应该在这里
I’m not even supposed to be here today.
你能不能再像帕西诺一点？
But can you, uh, Pacino that shit?
哦-啊！
Ooh-ah!
什么时候 主啊！
When, Lord?
到底要什么时候 我才能看到那艘该死的帆船？
When will I see the God damn sailboat?
刚刚那是我个人的肺腑之言
That came from a real deep personal place.
我是个艺术学学士
I have a BFA.
是个剧场出身的演员
Uh, I’m a theater background actor.
身为剧场出身的演员
As an actor with a theater background,
我在纽约大学受过专业训练
I was classically trained in New York.
你们有没有想过把这
Have you actually thought
拍成音乐剧？因为这样一来…
about going musical with this? ‘Cause it could be…
我今天
♪ I’m not even…
就不应该在这里
Supposed to be here.
♪ Today ♪
Hah, hoo, hah. Yeah-cha!
踢球、转身、拍、拍、停
Kick ball change and snap, snap, jazz hands.
太美了 兄弟
That is beautiful, man.
我是小弗雷迪普林兹
Freddie Prinze Jr.
“任何会动的东西我都能上”
“I’ll fuck anything that moves.”
等一下 老兄 这是色情片吗？
Wait, wait a minute, man, is this a porno?
任何会动的东西我都能上
I’ll fuck anything that moves.
任何会动的东西我都能上
I’ll fuck anything that moves.
任何会动的东西我都能上
I’ll fuck anything that moves.
有一点直接
That’s a little bit in your face.
让我试试看这样 等一下
Let me try it like this, hold on.
能不能借用你的内♥裤♥十分钟？
Can I borrow your underpants for about ten minutes?
任何会动的东西我都能上
I’ll fuck anything that moves.
而且 傻子…
And, fool,
我身上都会带着砍刀
I always carry a machete.
任何会动的东西我都能上
I’ll fuck anything that moves!
听起来很像是卖♥♥我大♥麻♥的那个家伙
Sounds like the guy I buy weed from.
知道这部电影需要的是什么吗？
You know what this movie needs?
这些 就是这些傻蛋
Deez. Deez nuts!
我能不能提个建议？
Can I just offer you a piece of advice?
知道这个脚本还需要个什么吗？
You know what this script needs right here?
需要个会说脏话的老太太
Like an old lady that says curse words.
老天啊
Holy shit.
这垃圾是谁写的？他妈妈应该觉得很丢脸
Who wrote this garbage? His mother should be ashamed.
什么鬼？
The fuck?
他是来参加沉默比尔选角的
He’s auditioning for Silent Bill.
不知道你们有没有看过《仙乐飘飘处处闻》
I don’t know if you know Sound of Music,
人偶那部分是里面最赞的地方
the marionettes were the best part of that.
那就是他们赢得奥斯卡奖的关键
I think that’s why they won Oscars.
这值得我们好好思考
It’s worth thinking about
或许整部电影可以用人偶拍摄？
maybe doing the whole movie with marionettes.
该吃心脏药了 锡人
Take your heart pills, Tin Man.
嘿
Hey.
资金的事情怎么样了？
So, how’s it going with the financing?
你开始筹我的钱了吗？
You raise my money, yet?
如果是你的钱
If it’s your money,
干嘛要我去筹？
then how come I have to raise it?
好莱坞就是这样
That’s Hollywood.
脚本看完了吗？
Did you finish reading the script?
昨晚看完了
Last night.
然后呢？很好笑 对吧？
And? It’s funny, right?
是很好笑
It’s funny,
似乎我的整个人生都在眼前上映一样
but it was like my entire life flashed before my eyes.
是我的人生在你眼前上映
My life flashed before your eyes.
我很高兴你把某些事情放下了
I was glad you left some stuff out.
所以…
So, uh…
那几个人当中是谁要扮演我？
which one of these guys gets to play me?
那些人来扮演你
Well, the guys are too young
都太年轻貌美了 -什么啦！
and hot to play you. – What the fuck?
也没有人好笑到能扮演我
And nobody’s nearly funny enough to play me.
那你打算怎么做？
So then, what are you gonna do?
我打算自己演出我的角色
I’m gonna play my part myself.
好了 够了 我们打烊了
All right, already, we’re closing. Gee whiz!
干嘛？你这样太没礼貌了！
Why? You’re highly offending me!
随便啦！
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jesus.
抱歉 小姐 我们打烊了
I’m sorry, ma’am, we’re closed.
是我 蓝道
It’s me, Randal.
酷 《银翼杀手》 不错
Huh. Cool. Blade Runner, I like that.
谢了 《银翼杀手》是什么？
Thanks. What’s a Blade Runner?
我们能不能回头再讨论下