疯狂店员3（2022）

The fucking kites, God, the kites.
我们为血色加密具乐部铸造的那些
The Crimson Kite NFT’s,
血色风筝非同质化代币
the ones we minted for the Crimson Crypto Club.
昨晚区块链把他们放在网上
Blockchain put them on sale last night
结果全都卖♥♥光了
and they all sold out.
所以咧？
So?
所以我们两个刚刚赚了…
The two of us just made…
一百万！一百万！
One million! One million!
一百万美元！
One million dollars! Ah!
撒旦万岁！ -我是个加密货币大富翁 贱♥人♥！
Hail Satan! – I’m crypto rich, bitch!
我刚领了十万美元出来 可以好好挥霍一下 顺便玩个女人
I just cashed out $100,000 just to flex and buy sex.
来 拿着 -靠
Here, take that. – Shit.
你要拿你那些钱干嘛 老艾？
What’re you gonna do with your money, Big E?
我不觉得我有资格站在柜台后面的这个位置
I’ll never be able to earn my place behind this counter
但我可以买♥♥下来
but now I can buy it. Here’s your sucking
把妳这吸血的钱拿回去
blood money. Oh!
然后给我滚出我们的店！
Now, get the hell out of our store!
算你狠 店员们！
Well played, clerks.
不好意思 打扰了
Sorry about the mess.
那是《星际大战》的台词
That was from Star Wars.
我会这么说 是因为你跟但丁先生
I only said it ’cause you and Mr. Dante
老是喜欢讨论《星际大战》 -就是啊！
used to talk about Star Wars. – I know.
很久很久以前
Long time ago.
在遥远的银河系…
In a galaxy far, far away…
我的老天啊 怎么这么多钱？
Holy fuck, that’s a lot of money.
你想买♥♥点大♥麻♥吗？
You wanna buy some weed?
好 我要把所有的大♥麻♥都买♥♥下来
Yes! I wanna buy all the weed!
这里有一万
Here’s ten grand.
有这些你可以
Whoo! That’s gonna get you higher
嗨到天上去了
than Godzilla’s asshole.
那些风筝到哪去了？
Yo, where those kites at?
这边请 贵客们
Right this way, valued customer.
哎呀呀
Aye-yi-yi.
要是你在这里就好了 老哥
I wish you were here, man.
♪ I’m from New Jersey
♪ I don’t expect too much
♪ If the world ended today
♪ I would adjust
♪ I’m from New Jersey
♪ No, I don’t talk that way
♪ I watched too much TV
♪ When I was young
♪ There are girls From New Jersey
♪ Who have That great big hair
♪ They’re found In shopping malls
♪ I will take you there
♪ I’m from New Jersey
♪ It’s not like Texas
♪ There is no mystery
♪ I can’t pretend
♪ I’m from New Jersey
♪ It’s like Ohio
♪ But even more so
♪ Imagine that
♪ I know which exit
♪ And where I’m bound
♪ The tolls on the parkway
♪ They will slow you down
♪ New Jersey people
♪ They will surprise you
♪ ‘Cause they’re not expected
♪ To do too much
♪ They will try harder
♪ They may go further
♪ ‘Cause they never think
♪ That they are good enough
♪ I’m from New Jersey
♪ I don’t expect too much
♪ If the world ended today
♪ I would adjust
♪ I would adjust
♪ I would adjust ♪
嘿 孩子们！是我 凯文史密斯
Hey, kids! It’s me, Kevin Smith,
你们跟我一同三度拜访这个便利商店
and I can’t thank you enough for making this third trip
我真是感激不尽 谢谢你们
to the convenience store with me. Thank you.
这次对我来说很特别
Um… This time’s exciting for me
因为这次大家终于可以用我看《疯狂店员》的方式
because this time everyone finally gets to see Clerks
观赏《疯狂店员》了
the way I’ve always seen Clerks.
大多数人都以为《疯狂店员》是一部黑白电影
Most people think that Clerks is a black and white movie
这没错 那的确是用黑白底片拍摄的
and they’re right. It was shot on black and white film.
对我而言 虽然那是一部黑白片
But, to me, whenever I watch Clerks,
但每次我在观赏的时候
even though it’s in black and white,
那部电影总是充满色彩
the movie appears in color.
因为我就是过着那种生活
Because I lived that life.
所以现在 我要谢谢李荣
And so now, thanks to Lee Ron,
你们看到的小歇便利商店 还有周围的那些东西
you’re all seein’ QuickStop and the surrounding area,
包括但丁、蓝道、杰跟沉默鲍勃
uh, Dante, Randal, Jay and Silent Bob
我从第一天就看着他们
as I’ve always seen them from day one.
绽放生动多彩的状态
Um, in vivid, living color.
小歇便利商店是
Uh, you know, QuickStop is the unsung, uh, star
所有《疯狂店员》电影中的无名英雄
of all the Clerks movies, if not,
也是View Askewniverse 电影公♥司♥
you know, the epicenter
的中心
of the View Askewniverse films in general.
所有的故事
Um, all stories emanate
都是在那个小房♥子中构建出来的
and flow from that little building.
当我在那工作的时候
And when I worked there…
我很讨厌那里 一点都不想待在那里
um, I hated it. I didn’t want to be there.
我不想帮别人工作
I didn’t wanna work for somebody else
更不想在那工作
and I didn’t wanna work there.
当有顾客走进来的时候
And people would come in
我心里想说“天啊！
and I’d be like, “Oh, my God,
“真的要我服务这些人吗？
“I have to actually wait on people?
“我只想看个电视”
“I just wanna watch TV.”
我一点都不想在便利商店里工作
I didn’t even wanna work at the convenience store.
我跑去RST出租店应征
I tried to get a job at RST Video.
他们在报纸上刊了征人启事
There was an ad in the paper for it.
所以我过去找拖普先生
I went down and talked to Mr. Topper.
他说 “我看到你有
He said… He goes, “I see you have
便利商店工作的经验”
“convenience store experience as well.”
我说：“对啊 我在很多便利商店工作过”
I said, “Yeah, I worked in a bunch of convenience stores.”
然后他说：“那你愿意时不时
And he goes, “Would you be willing to work
去隔壁那间便利商店工作吗？
“in this convenience store next door
“那间店也是我们的”
“from time to time because we own that as well?”
所以我说：“好啊 如果你需要人手的话”
And I was like, “Uh, yeah, if you need help.”
结果一语成箴
And, uh, famous last words because it…
那根本就是一份便利商店的工作
it was a convenience store job.
他骗了我 我才刚从
He catfished me. I just wound up
便利商店的工作中解放出来 来到电影出租店
working in a convenience store with a couple of hours in…
被用天堂诱惑了几个小时
in a video store, teased with paradise,
接着就被哄骗丢去贩售商品
then seduced and abandoned to sell, uh, goods.
在《疯狂店员》中 蓝道说过：
So in Clerks, Randal says,
“要是没有那些奥客
“Man, this job would be great
“这份工作其实很不错”
“if it wasn’t for the fuckin’ customers.”
但在《疯狂店员三》的脚本里
Uh, but in the script for Clerks III,
曾经提到过一部分
I’m gonna read you a little something that was there
最后没有出现在电影里的台词
that I didn’t use in the movie.
电影最后那些回顾的镜头中
During the pullback shot
你们听到的是约翰可卡
at the very end, you hear John Gorka’s
那首美丽的《我来自纽泽西》
beautiful I’m From New Jersey.
这首歌♥好美
And it was so lovely,
我决定让它完整呈现 而不是放进
I left that moment alone and didn’t put in
原来脚本中所设定的那段旁白
what in the script called for, the voice of Smod.
旁白本该由我来完成 内容是这样的
That would be me. And this is what you would have heard.
“蓝道葛雷夫斯在拍电影之外的时间里
“Randal Graves spent the rest of his life
“终其一生
“running QuickStop Groceries
“都持续在经营小歇便利商店
“whenever he wasn’t making movies,
“他的每一部电影 都由
“with each film financed solely
“血色加密工作室单独出资
“by Crimson Crypto Studios.
“在他拍摄最后一部电影时
“At a screening of his final film,
“阿斯布里派克报业曾经请他
“the Asbury Park Press asked him
“对这个生活做出总结
“to sum up a life spent satisfying
“且必须满足大众对香烟和汽水的需求
“both the public’s demand for cigarettes and soda
“同时满足大众在他处♥女♥座一战成名之后
“as well as their appetite for the many movies
“拍摄这么多电影的胃口
“he made after his celebrated debut, Clerk.
“90岁的蓝道葛雷夫斯回答道
“The 90-year-old Randal Graves replied,
“‘我一直认为要是没有那些奥客
“‘I always thought that jobs would have been great
“‘这份工作其实很不错
“‘if it weren’t for the fuckin’ customers.
“‘但结果其实
“‘But as it turns out,
“‘是因为有了这些奥客 这份工作真的很不错’”
“‘these jobs are great because of the fuckin’ customers.'”
他是真心这么认为的 我也是