疯狂店员3（2022）

That way, we can shoot at night
在晚上拍摄白天的戏码了
and pretend it’s day out.
我超讨厌好莱坞这些唬烂的手法
I fucking hate how fake Hollywood is.
少跟我来这套 女士
I don’t appreciate your ruse, ma’am.
不好意思？ -别来这套
I beg your pardon. – Your ruse.
妳搞小动作想骗过我
Your cunning attempt to trick me.
我以后再也不来了
This is the last time I rent here!
慢走不送
You will be missed.
去你的！
Screw you!
妳以后也不准再来租电影！
You’re not allowed to rent here anymore!
耶！
Yeah!
卡！
And cut.
演得好
Nice work.
演得好
Nice work.
好 再给我10分钟
Okay, now just give me ten minutes
我就准备好演出了
and then I’ll be ready to do mine.
什么东西？
Your what?
瑞奇！
Wah, Ricky!
我以后再也不来了
This is the last time I rent here!
我没搞懂
I don’t get it.
她想演一个露西那样的
She wanted to do one as Lucy.
《帝国大反击》的结局比较好
Empire had the better ending.
路克的手被砍断了
I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off,
还发现维达是他父亲
finds out Vader’s his father.
而韩索罗被冰冻 被波巴费特带走
Han gets frozen, taken away by Boba Fett.
整片以悲剧结尾
It ends on such a down note.
卡 -怎么了？发生什么事了？
Cut. – What? What happened?
“韩索罗被冰冻
“Han gets frozen
然后被波巴费特带走”
“and taken away by Boba Fett.”
我就是这么说的
I said that.
不 你说“而韩索罗被冰冻
No, you said, “Han gets frozen,
“被波巴费特带走”
“taken away by Boba Fett.”
你漏掉了“然后”两个字
You left out the “and.”
我可以出场了吗 蓝道？
Do I come in now, Randal?
还没 汤玛斯 先回去
Not yet, Thomas. Go back out.
要怪就怪但丁 他在我的电影里面不照剧本演出
You can blame Dante for ad-libbing all over my movie
还以为自己是塞斯罗根咧！
like he’s Seth fucking Rogan.
够了没 我只不过是少说了两个字
Oh, my God, I left out one word.
对作者来说每一个字都很神圣
Every word is sacred to the writer.
这跟写作有什么关系
This isn’t writing.
电影要说的是我的生活中每天发生的鸟事
It’s a bunch of shit that happened for real in my life.
我的生活才对
My life.
我可以出场了吗 蓝道？
Do I come in now, Randal?
还没 汤玛斯 先回去
Not yet, Thomas. Back.
不会吧 汤玛斯又搞砸了？
Oh, man, Thomas fucked up again?
别再乱来了 汤玛斯
Stop fucking shit up, Thomas.
欸 混帐小子 你刚刚对我爸说什么？
Hey, fuck-o. What’d you say to my father?
信不信我给你一点颜色看看
How about I fuck your shit up,
你这他妈的臭小子
you fucking fuck hole motherfucker!
摄手鲍勃！
Shooter Bob!
这是我这辈子看过
That is the Jersey-iest thing
最“泽西”的事情了
I’ve ever heard or seen in my life.
开始
And action.
那是你的肺
That’s your lung.
现在这个时候 你的肺看起来就像这个一样
By this time, your lung looks like this.
所以你要不要把烟放回去
So why don’t you put the cigarettes back
改买♥♥几个口香糖？
and try some gum instead?
来 嚼嚼口香糖 试试看
Here, Chewlies gum, try this.
天啊！那好臭！
Oh, my God, that reeks!
老天！ -在搞什么？
God! – What is that?
我给你的那个肺脏模型到哪去了？
What happened to the model of the lung I gave ya?
我是个方法派的演员
I’m a method actor.
我把肺脏模型换成了
I ditched the model lung
肉铺买♥♥来的牛肚
for this tripe I got at Foodtown.
天啊 -我发挥了精湛的演技
Jesus. – I used my power of stagecraft
把牛肚当成肺来演出 这才是方法派！
to see that stomach as a lung. It’s method!
你是但丁希克斯
And you’re Dante Hicks.
我们是同学 你之前是打曲棍球的
We went to the same school. You played hockey.
对啊 你怎么知道？
Yeah. How’d you know that?
你跟她还在交往吗？
You still going out with her?
没有 她要结婚了
No, she’s getting married.
跟你结婚吗？ -不是
To you? – No.
是嫁给一个主修亚洲设计的人
To an Asian design major.
什么…真是够了
What is… You know what?
卡！我受不了这种种族歧视的东西了
Cut, cut, cut! I can’t abide by this racist shit.
种族歧视？在哪里种族歧视了？
Racist? How the hell is it racist?
看看四周有多么缺乏种族多样性
Just look at all this fucking lack of diversity.
叫某个人亚洲设计
And calling some guy an Asian design major
是有点种族歧视的感觉
just feels racist.
这才不是种族歧视 这个人是真的学亚洲设计
That’s not racist. The guy literally majored in Asian design.
真的吗？
Are you sure?
难道他不是一个学设计的亚洲学生吗？
Wasn’t he a, uh, Asian student who was also a design major?
他是个非常喜欢亚洲设计的学生
He was a passionate student of Asian design.
不过他自己刚好也是亚洲人
It just so happens he himself was coincidentally Asian.
就这样 老兄
Take it easy, man.
我们要去哪里拍驴子表演的那一幕？
So, uh, where are we gonna shoot the donkey show scene?
在事发当地 慕比快餐
Where it happened. Mooby’s.
我们的慕比快餐吗？ -对啊
Our Mooby’s? – Yeah.
我们要怎么进去？
How are we supposed to get in?
这一点就让场景部门来烦恼吧
I got the locations department working on it.
慕比快餐后门 请从前方进入 我的头发缠住了
It’s stuck in my hair.
能不能帮我拿一下？
Shit. Can you get it?
我最讨厌穿慕比玩偶装了
Ugh. I hate wearing the Mooby suit, man.
♪ I’m just trying to see Miss Sally walk
♪ In a simple baddest On the block
♪ I just wanna see Miss Sally Double Dutch
♪ I just wanna see Miss Sally fuck it up
♪ Fuck it up
♪ Eenie-meenie-miney-mo
♪ Yo girl say she tryna go
♪ Red light, green light
♪ Now you can’t find yo ho
♪ Freeze tag, this froze
♪ Took her to the jewelry store
♪ Miss Sally walk A-walkin’ down the street
♪ Miss Sally walk A-walkin’ down the street
♪ Miss Sally walk…
快啊 兄弟们 我们走！
Come on, boys. Let’s go!
♪ I just wanna see Miss Sally walk
♪ Miss Sally walk A-walkin’ down the street
♪ Miss Sally walk A-walkin’ down the street
♪ I just wanna see Miss Sally walk
♪ I just wanna see Miss Sally walk ♪
慕比快餐
不要
No.
什么不要 -我不能进去
No what? – No, I… I can’t go inside.
你当然可以啦
Of course, you can.
贝卡 我不行
Becks, I can’t.
我们生命中最美好的一段时光都是在那里面度过的
We had the best times of our lives in that place.
直到我们其中一人死去
Until one of our lives ended.
不过是个建筑 希克斯
It’s just a building, Hicks.
只是个建筑 但我很久没有进去了
It’s just a building I haven’t been inside since…
自从妳…
Since you…
我懂 对不起
I know. I’m sorry.
该放下了
Just turn the page.
你办得到的 宝贝
You can do this, babes.
不！
No.
别走
Don’t go.
蓝道 这位是丽莎
Uh, Randal. This is Lisa
跟他的女儿… 丽莎
and her daughter… Lisa.
丽莎在亨利哈德逊
Uh, Lisa goes to high school
地方高中上课
at Henry Hudson Regional. Oh.
这位是我的丈夫 蓝多 他可以直接去死了
And this is my husband, Lando, who can go straight to hell.
我实在太生气了
I’m so mad at you.
你最好整晚都别给我说话
Don’t say a damn word the whole night.
吭都不要吭一声！
Don’t even think words! – Uh…
我们很快就要开始拍电影了
We’re gonna shoot a movie in a minute
抱歉必须请你们离开
so I gotta chase you guys
是吗 看来是我弄错了
out of here. – Oh, okay, my bad.
你根本就没有想要宣传
I guess you don’t want press
你的YouTube小短片