疯狂店员3（2022）

小歇杂货店
♪ When I was a young boy
♪ My father took me Into the city
大♥麻♥
♪ To see a marching band
♪ He said “Son, when you grow up
♪ “Would you be the savior Of the broken
♪ “The beaten and the damned?”
♪ He said “Will you defeat them?
♪ “Your demons And all the non-believers
♪ “The plans that They have made?
♪ “Because one day I’ll leave you
♪ “A phantom to lead you
♪ “In the summer To join the black parade”
如欲顺手牵羊请先告知 谢谢
报纸 还记得这种东西吗？
现煮咖啡
♪ When I was a young boy
♪ My father took me Into the city
嚼嚼薄荷口香糖
♪ To see a marching band
♪ He said “Son, when you grow up
讣闻：蕾贝卡史考特希克斯 1979-2006 无尽怀念
♪ “Would you be the savior Of the broken
♪ “The beaten and the damned?”
58号♥-A室
♪ Sometimes I get the feeling
♪ She’s watching over me
♪ And other times I feel like I should go
♪ And through it all The rise and fall
♪ The bodies in the streets
暂时停止营业 第一♥期♥后重新开幕
♪ And when you’re gone We want you all to know
♪ We’ll carry on
♪ We’ll carry on
♪ And though You’re dead and gone
♪ Believe me Your memory will carry on
耶！
Yes!
♪ We’ll carry on
♪ And in my heart I can’t contain it
♪ The anthem won’t explain it
♪ A world that Sends you reeling
♪ From decimated dreams…
去你的！ -谁来守着这边！
Fuck you! – Somebody get over here.
回防！回防！
Back up! Back up!
♪ So paint it black And take it back
♪ Let’s shout it loud and clear
♪ Defiant to the end We hear the call
♪ To carry on
♪ We’ll carry on
♪ And though You’re dead and gone
♪ Believe me Your memory will carry on
♪ We’ll carry on
♪ And though you’re broken And defeated
♪ Your weary widow marches
♪ On and on we carry Through the fears
♪ Disappointed faces Of your peers
好 都就位 准备好了？
All right. Spread out. Ready?
♪ ‘Cause I could not Care at all
♪ Do or die You’ll never make me
♪ Because the world Will never take my heart
♪ Go and try You’ll never break me
♪ We want it all We wanna play this part
♪ I won’t explain or say I’m sorry
♪ I’m unashamed I’m gonna show my scar
♪ Give a cheer For all the broken
♪ Listen here Because it’s who we are
哇！
Whoo!
♪ Just a boy Who had to sing this song
♪ I’m just a man I’m not a hero
♪ I don’t care
♪ We’ll carry on
♪ We’ll carry on
♪ Believe me
♪ Your weary widow Marches on ♪
猪肉卷、鸡蛋跟起司
♪ Pork roll Egg and cheese
猪肉卷、鸡蛋跟什么？
♪ Pork roll Egg and what?
猪肉卷、鸡蛋跟起司
♪ Pork roll Egg and cheese
猪肉卷、鸡蛋跟什么？
♪ Pork roll Egg and what? ♪
呃 呃 呃
Uh, uh, uh.
不好意思
Excuse me.
有人上班吗？还是…
Yo, is anybody working or, uh…
你想买♥♥什么东西还是要干嘛？
You know what you want or what?
对 我想买♥♥三根大♥麻♥烟
Yeah. Can I get three Snoogans Prerolls?
刚好100美元
$100 even.
对
Right.
♪ Tell me who Tell me who…
你能不能…
Can you…
♪ Profits off the life Of every dude
♪ Every sick
低调一点
Keep it down.
♪ Ask the schools
♪ Break the chains Reveal the lies… ♪
好…好
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
你在看什么？
What ‘cha looking at, man?
我们在90年代就是这么干的 小子
That’s how we did it in the ’90s, son!
等等
Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
别再吹口哨了 好好搬东西
Your whistling is affecting your carrying.
安排得很妙
Pretty nifty planning.
什么鬼？
The fuck?
那个
Oh, uh… well, ’cause, um,
NFT的黑话就叫“妙”
nifty is slang for NFT,
在我们的世界里叫非同质化代币
which is a non-fungible token in our world.
我们的世界里？
“Our world”?
天啊 我就知道
Oh, my God, I knew it.
你信了崇拜死亡的那种邪教
You belong to one of these religious death cults
就是在自杀前
where they all wear sneakers to bed
穿着球鞋上♥床♥的那种
before they kill themselves.
再说一次 蓝道
For the last time, Randal,
我没有信什么崇拜死亡的邪教
I’m not in a religious death cult.
区块链寇川跟我是
Blockchain Coltrane and I are co-founders
基♥督♥教加密具乐部的共同创办人
of the Christian Crypto Club.
基♥督♥教加密具乐部
♪ Rip and tear! ♪
这不是《魔戒》之类的东西
This is either a Lord of the Rings thing
就是耶稣之类的
or a Jesus thing. Hmm.
区块链说耶稣拯救灵魂
Blockchain says that Jesus saves souls,
而我们买♥♥下灵魂
but we buy souls, it’s…
很有趣的文字游戏
It’s pretty clever wordplay
因为公链的加密货币单位
because the Phantasma Chain’s cryptocurrency unit
就叫做“灵魂”
is called the Soul, so…
一大早
It’s…
就要笑死我了 你这小子
You are killing me this morning, you nut.
妈的
Oh, shit,
我现在懂了
I think I get it now.
懂什么？懂NFT跟加密货币了吗？
Get what? NFTs and crypto?
不是 不是那个卷毛宅宅说的外星语
No, not that Beanie Baby bullshit.
我说的是这对活宝
Talking about this pair of puds.
看来艾利亚斯终于找到自己的沉默鲍勃了
Looks like Elias has got his own Silent Bob.
手势还这么多
Oh, this is quite a handjob.
怎样？
What?
耶稣基♥督♥啊！这些Ｚ世代的孩子们没救了
Jesus, these Gen Z kids are fucked.
又来了
Oh, what a surprise.
蓝道又随随便便直呼上帝的名讳了 但丁先生
Randal has taken the Lord’s name in vain again, Mr. Dante.
拜托不要再叫我但丁先生了
Please stop calling me Mr. Dante.
你都已经36岁了
You’re 36-years-old.
重点是
And not for nothing,
我又不信你们基♥督♥教的上帝
but how’s it taking the Lord’s name in vain
怎么就不能直呼上帝的名讳了？
if I don’t pray to your Christian God?
如果你不信上帝 那你信什么？
If you don’t pray to God, then who do you pray to?
我在低潮的时候 会向克罗姆祈祷
When I’m at my lowest, I always pray to Crom.
克罗姆是谁？
Who’s Crom?
那是《王者之剑》的神
That’s Conan the Barbarian’s God.
知道吗 蓝道？
You know what, Randal?
我希望你不是真心崇拜
I really wish you didn’t worship all your
那些漫画里的假偶像 还有恶魔般的超级英雄
false comic book idols and satanic superheroes.
像是蝙蝠侠、复仇者联盟、神力女超人 或是众议院议员亚历山卓寇蒂兹
Batman, The Avengers, Wonder Woman, AOC.
拜托 克罗姆有什么不好
Come on, man, give Crom a chance.
他或许不像耶稣那样有求必应
He may not be all woke and shit like Jesus,
但以一个神灵来说 他的宅男追随者可不少
but homeboy’s pretty metal for a deity.
这一点都不好笑 蓝道 世上只有一个真神
Well, joke’s on you, Randal, because there’s only one God.
是吗？那索尔呢？索尔也是神
Yeah. What about Thor? Thor’s a god.
索尔是个虚构人物 他是从外太空飞来的
Thor is a fictional character who flies through outer space.
你的上帝也是啊！
So is your God.
但丁先生！
Mr. Dante.
他的上帝是永恒的基♥督♥ 蓝道
His God is the living Christ, Randal.
他的上帝是永恒的死人
His God is the Living Dead
还有那些哥德式的鬼东西
with all that goth-y shit like,
还吸我的血咧！无聊的吸血鬼那一套
drink my blood. That’s fucking vampire talk.
但丁先生！ -够了！
Mr. Dante! – Oh, no.
别把我扯进去 这是你们两个之间的事
My name is Foo-Foo and this is between you two.
别乱动！
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, freeze.
这些是什么鬼东西？
What the fuck are these?
是风筝 -不是吧
Kites. – No shit.
这些东西是用来干嘛的？
But what are they doing here?
我想说可以拿来卖♥♥
I thought we could sell them.
你讲真的还假的？这年头谁还玩风筝？
Are you serious? Who the fuck flies kites anymore?
很多人
Lots of people.
现在的小孩都喜欢玩风筝 风筝很酷