Peace is better than pussy.
和平让我的鸡♥巴♥更加坚硬
Peace makes my dick hard.
狗♥娘♥养♥的 我需要极度的和平
I need motherfucking peace, motherfucker.
想成为我的女朋友？和平待人
You wanna be my girl? Be peaceful.
来点和平就行了 狗♥娘♥养♥的
Just some peace, motherfucker.
这就是我何以不会再偷吃了
That’s right, I ain’t cheating at all, you know.
除非对象是蕾哈娜
I mean, unless Rihanna, you know…
一切安好 如今我已经开始约会了 我们正在交往中
It’s all good, man. Now I’m dating. I’m actually dating.
天啊 怪怪的
It’s just weird, man.
怪怪的 毕竟我在婚姻里 待过这么长时间
It’s weird. I was married for a long time, man.
我跟同龄的女子约会过 有的比我年轻一些
You know, I date some girls my age. And some a little younger.
天啊 约会足以令人发疯
That shit is crazy, man.
约会形式已经变了
Yo, shit has changed.
现代女生做♥爱♥的速度快得要命
These girls fuck fast now.
迅速完事 随即走人
They fuck fast and they leave.
They just get the fuck out yo house.
就这么走出你家大门
迅速完事 随即走人 我问：“你去哪？”
They just fuck and leave. I’m like, “Where you going?
“这是你的家”
It’s yo place.”
她们可以马上开始做♥爱♥
And they fuck immediately.
我是个成年人
I’m a grown man.
我觉得这种行为不妥
And I’m like, “This is inappropriate.”
天啊 少女都喜欢骑在上面
My God. Young girls like to get on top.
她们总是想往上爬 “爹地 我要骑在上面
Always wanna get on top. “Let me ride it, Daddy.
让我上去 让我骑在上面 我要爬上去
Let me get on top. Let me ride it. Let me get on top.
让我骑在上面…
Let me ride it. Let me ride it.
让我骑在上面” 总不能叫45岁的女人骑在上面
Let me ride it.” You can’t get no 45 year-old-woman to get on top.
她会说：“黑鬼 我躺着让你操 算你走运了
She’s like, “Nigga, you lucky I’m laying like this.”
我会转身帮你完事 但仅此而已
“I’ll turn over to help you finish, but that’s about it.
这双腿非常脆弱”
These knees are delicate.”
该死的 我正在用Tinder交友 帐号♥是本名
Shit, I’m on Tinder right now, under my own name.
我朋友说：“别用本名
My friends are like, “You can’t be under your own name.
万一对方因为你是克里斯洛克 才跟你交往怎么办？”
What if you find a woman that just wants you ’cause you’re Chris Rock?” I’m like,
但我确实是克里斯洛克啊
“But I am Chris Rock.
不然我该用什么名字？ “艺人塞德里克”？
What should I put? ‘Cedric the Entertainer’?”
该死的 我的人头像也在Tinder上
Shit, my profile picture on Tinder right now
正是本人 赤♥裸♥裸的我
is me, butt-naked,
手握一支麦克风
holding a microphone,
以及一只铃鼓
and a tamborine.
我该下台了 大家保重
Hey, I’m out of here. Ya’ll take care.
谢谢
Thank you.
[“Tamborine” playing]
♪ Oh, my God, here you are ♪
♪ Prettiest thing in life I’ve ever seen ♪
-[whistling] -♪ Mm-hmm ♪
♪ Close my eyes, what’s it like? ♪
♪ What’s it like inside your tamborine? ♪
♪ Oh, my God, there I go ♪
♪ Falling in love With a face in a magazine ♪
-♪ Uh-oh, oh, no ♪ -[whistling]
♪ All alone, by myself ♪
♪ Me and I, play my tamborine ♪
♪ Tamborine ♪
♪ Tamborine ♪
♪ Tamborine ♪
♪ The tamborine ♪