加州公路巡警（2017）

噢 该死
Oh, shit.
脚趾不错
Ooh, Nice toes.
等等 慢一点 慢一点
Wait, slow down. Slower, slower.
噢 妈的
Oh, fuck.
再一点点
Just a little bit.
哇噢
Oh, wow.
看不出来你这么大
I didn’t know you had those.
哇噢 看起来很大
Wow, those look huge.
今晚尤其大 等等
Those look big tonight. Wait.
不
No.
它们总是这么大
They always look this huge,
潘泰拉警官 -噢 噢
Officer Pantera. – Oh! Oh!
噢 噢 -那性感的尖叫是什么
Oh! Oh! – What was that sexy scream?
噢 噢 噢
Oh! Oh! Oh!
噢 噢 不
Oh! Oh, no.
有人过早失声了
Someone prematurely ejaculated.
妈的
Fuck!
妈的
Fuck!
你能应付吗 -行
Can you manage? – Got it.
最后一个
Last one.
现在什么计划 宝贝
So, what’s the plan now, babe?
布莱恩一出院
The second Brian gets out of the hospital,
你 库珀 还有汉森 你们去“大熊”
you, Cooper, and Hansen, you head up to Big Bear.
你等文莱航♥班♥ 拿到画后就离开
You wait for the Brunei flight. You get the painting and get out of there.
在那之前呢
And until then?
照常上班 他们只认出我
Business as usual. They only know me.
雷 我很难过
Ray, I’m really sorry about, um…
你想谈谈吗
Do you want to talk about him?
不 我不要
No, I do not.
也许在我照顾完你的小男朋友后
Maybe after I take care of your little boyfriend.
他带了山羊和驴…
So, he brings in a goat and a donkey…
我要杀了你
I’m gonna kill you.
我痊愈后 我会毁灭你的肉体
When I am healed, I am gonna physically destroy you.
滚出我的房♥间 给彼得森打电♥话♥ 他在找你
Get the fuck out of my room. Call Peterson. He’s looking for you.
我的手♥机♥坏了 打不了
My phone’s broken. I can’t.
你把整个案子都弄砸了 连手♥机♥也坏了
You torpedo the entire case, and you broke your phone.
我没有搞破坏 我们有嫌疑犯的脑袋 那就是胜利
I didn’t torpedo it. We have a suspect’s head. That’s a victory.
三名警员及两名警官被送进医院
Three officers and two agents are hospitalized,
为了一个断头 还没有人能认出 你这是胜利?
all for a severed head nobody can ID. That’s a victory to you?
听着 我很抱歉 我再次开枪打中了你 对不起
Listen, I’m sorry that I shot you again. I’m sorry.
到床上来 到床上来
Get on the bed! Get on the bed!
你睡过这种剪刀床吗 混♥蛋♥
You ever been in a scissor hold, motherfucker?
Huh?
你在这儿
There he is.
嘿 -嘿
Hey. – Hey.
你的呼吸管呢
Where’s your breathing tube?
你的表情真性感
That was a really sexy look for you.
我还有一根导管
I also have a catheter in
我不想对同事太性感
and I didn’t wanna be too sexy for the staff.
是的 低调一点
Mmm-hmm, yeah. Tone it down a little bit.
你在这里站岗吗
Are you posted here?
我是来看你的 笨蛋
I came to see you, dummy,
只是想吹嘘一下 救了你的命
and just wanted to brag about saving your life.
你救了我的命?
You saved my life?
我给你做了心肺复苏术 我把生命还给了你
I gave you CPR and I breathed life back into you.
所以 当我身体变冷的时候
So, when I went out cold,
你跑过去亲我了?
you ran in and tried to kiss me?
心肺复苏术是吧
And you said it was CPR?
不太一样好吗
Not quite! Um…
有点恶心 因为你让我想起了我爸爸
That’s a little gross because you kind of remind me of my dad.
等等 你♥爸♥爸是警♥察♥?
Wait, your dad was a cop?
天啊 不
God, no.
他只是个混♥蛋♥ 有点像你
He was just a fuck-up, kind of like you.
嗯 太抬举我了
Mmm. So flattering.
我在想你出院的时候
I was wondering, when you get discharged,
如果你想
if you wanted to, um,
和我一起骑车回家
take a ride back home with me?
我有空
I’m available.
我已经给我妻子留了口信 我很确定她会来接我
I already left my wife a message, and I’m pretty sure she’s gonna pick me up.
是同一个妻子吗 一次都没来过医院?
Is this the same wife that hasn’t been here once?
你还没见过她
You haven’t met her.
如果你不吓她 我会很感激的
I’d appreciate it if you didn’t bag on her.
嗯
Yeah.
待会儿见
I’ll see you around.
妈的
Fuck.
拿枪指着我?
Pull a fucking gun on me?
我不知道是你 -你不接电♥话♥
I didn’t know it was you! – You’re not gonna answer your phone?
你要让我飞来洛杉矶找你谈话?
You’re gonna make me fly to fucking LA to talk to you?
我的手♥机♥坏了 我想激活它
My phone was broken. I was trying to activate it…
我告诉过你 离那个毒屋远一点
I told you to stay away from that drug house.
你必须停止射击艾伦
You gotta stop shooting Allen!
我不是故意的 这是个意外
I didn’t do it on purpose! It was an accident.
我想打老雷的
I was trying to shoot Ray Kurtz.
你没打中 被他跑了
Well, you missed, and he’s gone.
你把整个案子都搞砸了
You fucked up this whole case
当我叫你的督察去找你的时候
and when I called your captain to find out where you were,
她告诉我 她没收到你的消息
she told me she hadn’t heard from you
自从你在凌晨1点和她性视频后
since you initiated a sexual exchange with her at 1:00 a.m.
那是我的错
That was my bad. That was on me.
那是个意外 -你这该死的色狼
That was an accident. – You fucking pervert!
真♥他♥妈♥的恶心
Just goddamn nasty!
我本想和琳德赛…
I was trying to text with this girl, Lindsey…
你被解雇了
You’re fired!
你上午11点回迈阿密
You’re on the 11:00 a.m. back to Miami
你猜怎么着 我保管你的枪
and guess what, I’m keeping your gun.
可不可以只发警告 而不要直接解雇?
Can we just go with a warning, instead of a full-fledged fire?
如果你能干好本职工作的话
If you had been doing your job
而不是到处看洛杉矶多汁的屁♥股♥
instead of looking at all this juicy, LA booty they got out here,
事情不会这么糟的
things wouldn’t be so bad.
手放低 最好的约炮APP
Hands down, the best app for meeting girls.
我不停地刷 刷到为止
I just keep swiping until I meet one.
没开玩笑? -是的
No kidding? – Yeah.
如今 当你和姑娘亲热时
Now, when you get intimate with these gals,
有没有约定俗成的
is oral expected?
比如屁♥股♥什么的
Like, with the butt?
噢 有啊 这是标准 老大
Oh, yeah. That’s standard, boss.
这是标准? -是的 先生
That’s standard? – Yes, sir.
哇 时代变了
Wow, things have changed!
嘿 很高兴见到你 -嘿 你也是
Hey, it was great meeting you. – Hey, you too.
你好好的 外面要安全
You have a good one. Be safe out there.
享受这个APP吧
Yeah, enjoy that app, right? Wow.
嗨 我是游泳俱乐部的凯伦 给我留言
Hi, it’s Karen from SwimTech. Leave me a message.
噢
Oh!
嘿 -庞奇
Hey! – Oh, Ponch!
伙计 见到你真高兴
Man, am I happy to see you!
我很抱歉
I’m sorry about this.
我电♥话♥刚开机 就收到了你所有的留言
I just got my phone working. I got all your messages.
伙计 我真高兴你能来
Dude, I’m so happy you’re here.
很高兴见到你 伙计 -谢谢你能来
Good to see you, buddy. – Thank you for coming.
我真的很抱歉 伙计
I’m really sorry, man.
本来你醒的时候我就该来了 但我正在买♥♥新手♥机♥
I would’ve been here when you woke up, but I was buying a new phone.
不 伙计 很好 我很好
No, man, it’s good. I’m all good.
你是什么意思 你很好?你被车撞了
What do you mean, you’re good? You got hit by a truck.
是的
Yeah,
但我的钛肱骨承受了大部分冲击
but my titanium humerus took most of the hit.
只有五
It was only a five.
五什么
Five out of what?
五成
Out of ten.
那十是什么 -阴囊撕裂 我经历过
Then what’s a 10? – Scrotal tear, which I’ve had.
蛋黄都流出来了 太可怕了
Nuts unravel down your leg. It’s gruesome.
什么 -我知道