落魄大厨

-任何东西都要有资料库 -女人也是
-Anything that requires a database. -So pussy requires a database?
对啊
Yeah!
那给我看看推特上有什么我非看不可的坏话
So show me what’s on Twitter that’s so bad that I should see.
-那是辣椒酱吗 -没什么 没什么
-Oh, shit, is that gochujang? -Nothing. Nothing.
该死 你做了辣椒酱
Damn, you made fucking gochujang?
是 要放乳鸽下面调味的
Yeah, that’s under the squab.
但他要老式做法 里瓦想要老式做法 我知道的
But he’s gonna 86 it. Riva’s gonna 86 it, I know.
-这辣椒酱真棒 -别他妈担心里瓦
-Yo, this gochujang is good. -Don’t worry about fucking Riva.
他不会让你上韩国泡菜的
He ain’t gonna let you serve that Korean shit.
我来搞定他 别担心 我搞定
Let me handle him. Don’t worry about that. I got it.
他说我想做什么就做什么的
He says I can cook whatever I want.
-好的 好的 -我们就这样做
-Alright. Alright. -We’re gonna cook like this.
-你试过那个了吗 -老兄
-Did you try that? Oh, hey. -Oh, man.
那是西兰花 再尝尝这个
That’s broccoli rabe l’anchois. Check this out.
太好吃了
This is ridiculous.
-你那是什么 -是
-What you got over there? -I got…
-妈妈会把硬皮切掉 -我不切
-Mom cuts off the crust. -Yeah, well, I don’t.
-很好吃 -当然很好吃
-It’s good. -You bet your ass it’s good.
声音关小点 好吗
Can you turn that down, please?
抱歉
Oh, sorry.
你知道推特吗
You know about Twitter?
-我注册了 -是吗
-Yeah, I have an account. -Yeah?
-怎么样 -挺酷的
-How’s it work? -It’s cool.
很酷吗 就这样 很酷
It’s cool? That’s how it works, it’s cool?
-你在上面发东西 -就像发短♥信♥吗
-You tweet on it. -Is that like texting?
不是
No.
-帮我注册一个 -好的
-Sign me up. -OK.
你用户名是什么
So, what do you want your username to be?
凯尔
Carl.
不能只写凯尔 得@什么
You can’t just put Carl. It has to be at something’.
@凯尔·卡斯帕
At Carl Casper.
@凯尔·卡斯帕
@CarlCasper.
-有人注册过了 -有人用了我的名字
-Taken. -Someone took my name?
那用@凯尔·卡斯帕厨师长 行吧
@ChefCarlCasper? Is that cool?
好的
Yeah, that’s good.
@凯尔
At… Chef…
卡斯帕 厨师长
Carl… Casper.
这是用来约炮的
So is this for sex?
你为这个才注册的
Eww! Is that what you’re doing this for?
不 我不是为这个注册 有人说我坏话
No, I’m not doing it for that. Someone wrote something bad.
我想看看写的什么
I wanna see what they wrote.
那就好
Good.
麻♥痹♥的♥
Oh, shit.
你不能骂街的
Hey. You can’t talk like that.
不管妈妈在不在 我可不希望你说脏话
I don’t care if Mommy’s not around. I don’t want you cursing around here.
-那篇评论到处都是 -什么意思
-That review went viral. -What does that mean?
意思是大家都转发了
It means it got picked up and re-tweeted everywhere.
所以所有人都看了那篇评论
So all these people have read the review?
-嗯 -麻♥痹♥的♥
-Yeah. -Oh, shit.
-我觉得挺酷的 -我可不觉得
-I think it’s kinda cool. -I don’t.
-不是 我是说咱俩弄这个 -弄什么
-No, I mean, us doing this. -Doing what?
就是在一起啊
You know, just hanging out.
我们总是在一起啊
We hang out all the time.
不是 我是说在一起做一些事情
No, like, hanging out and doing something.
我们做很多事情啊
Well, we do things.
不 不是看一些东西 或者做一些事
No, not just, like, watching something or doing something.
而是在一起聊天什么的
Like, hanging out and talking.
从对方那里学点东西
And learning things from each other.
我就觉得 你跟妈妈住
I figured, you know, with you living at Mom’s house
我又总是工作 我们在一起的时候 你想多玩玩
and me working all the time, when we hung out, you liked to do fun things.
我觉得这样挺有趣的 一起研究东西
I think this is kinda fun. You know, just figuring stuff out.
就像你在家一样
Like when you lived at home.
我也很怀念
Yeah, I miss that too.
那你为什么不搬回家住
Then why don’t you move back home?
波西 我不能
Percy, I can’t just…
我不在家住 不是因为你 你知道的 对吧
You’re not the reason that I’m not living at home. You know that, right?
因为确实不是因为你
‘Cause it’s true.
-那为什么 -什么为什么
-Then why? -Then why what?
你为什么不在家住呢
Well, why don’t you live home?
知道吗 妈妈和爸爸
Well, Mommy and Daddy, you know,
我们 我们慢慢分开了 走上了不同的道路
we… we both grew apart, in different directions.
但我们仍然是很好的朋友
But we’re still really good friends.
只是我们不在一起住更好
It’s just better if we don’t live in the same house.
我们已经不是夫妻了
And that we’re not married.
-你明白吗 -不明白
-You understand? -No.
很难解释
It’s hard to explain.
听我说 如果我们不在一起 能互相发推特吗
Hey, listen, could we twitter each other when we’re not in the same place?
-可以 -你能教我怎么发吗
-Yeah. -Could you show me how to do that?
可以 看
Yeah. OK.
先点击这里 然后登陆你的用户名
So, first you click here and you have to enter your username.
-好 -也可以用你的爱疯登录
-Right. -You could also log in on your iPhone.
你点击这里
You click this button here,
可以发消息 你的粉丝都能看到
it posts your feed so all your followers can read it.
好的
OK.
@拉姆齐·米歇尔 即使好吃的端到你面前 你也不认识
-爸爸 -嗯
-Dad? -Yeah.
昨晚到现在 你多了1653个粉丝
You got 1,653 followers since last night.
-那样好吗 -太不可思议了
-Oh, is that good? -It’s amazing.
好 那意味什么
Oh, good. What does it mean?
意味着有1653个人在看你的推特
It means that 1,653 people are reading your Twitter feed.
我以为就跟发短♥信♥一样
Mm-hm. I thought it was like texting.
你昨天发什么了吗
Did you post anything since last night?
-没有 -你确定吗
-No. -Are you sure?
我就给某人发了条信息
Yeah, I just sent a private message to somebody.
-给谁 -给那个垃圾美食家
-To who? -To that A-hole food critic.
你只能给你粉丝发私人消息的
You could only send private messages to people who are following you.
我觉得你公开♥发♥了那个消息
I think you might have posted that publicly.
不是 他写了我的坏话 然后我回复了
No, he wrote something nasty about me and then I hit reply
然后给他发了个信息
and it let me send a message to him.
爸爸 那些回复是公开的 谁都能看到
Dad, replies are public. Everybody can read them.
看来他又给他那
And it looks like he re-tweeted it
123845个粉丝发推特了
to all his 123,845 followers.
他还回复了
And he wrote back.
他说什么了
What did he say?
-我还是别读了 -就
-I don’t think I should read it. -Just…
就给我读一下 好吗
Can you read it to me, please?
读一下回复
Read the reply.
“@凯尔·卡斯帕厨师长
“@ChefCarlCasper…
我宁愿你满身大汗淋漓
I would rather have you sit on my face
坐在我脸上
after a brisk walk on a warm day
也不要再吃你那破熔岩蛋糕”
than suffer through that fucking lava cake again.”
他那么回复的
He wrote that to me?
大家都看到了
He wrote it to everybody.
不是开玩笑吧
You gotta be kidding me.
你知道多少人看到了吗
You realise how many people have read this?
昨晚到现在 我有了2000个粉丝
I’m up to 2,000 followers since last night.
-你出名了 老兄 -他们在给我发消息
-You’re trending, bro. -They’re sending me messages.
他们在刺♥激♥我回复这混♥蛋♥
They’re goading me into responding to this prick.
-别发 别发 老兄 -别那样做 厨师长
-Don’t do it. Don’t do it, man. -Don’t do that, Chef.
-别回复 要保持高姿态 -我知道
-Don’t respond. Take the high road. -I know.
但是有一半的人说他是对的
But half the people are saying he’s right.
但也有一半的人说他是错的
Yeah, but half the people are saying he’s wrong.
-互联网就是这样 -就是 听他的吧
-That’s the fucking internet. -That’s right. Listen to him.
-社会媒体就这样 你有推特吗 -有
-That’s social media. You on Twitter? -Yeah, I’m Twitter.
-你叫什么 -小马蒂
-What’s your name? -Little Marty.
但是大家都学我 我白天不想出来
But all the people following me, I don’t wanna hang out during the day.
我避免 你干嘛
I avoid all… Oh, hey, hey, hey, what are you doing?
不如你今晚来 我特地为你准备了新菜单
-这个人 -别 你在写什么
-This guy. -Don’t. What are you writing?
厨师长 别 不要这样做
Chef, don’t… That’s not a good idea.
听我说 你们不同意我就不发
Just listen. I won’t send it until we all say it’s OK.