落魄大厨

却让你缩着身子想躲开那甜腻的怀抱
but instead causes you to shrink from her cloying embrace
以免被她潮湿而下垂的胸脯闷死
which threatens to smother you in her saggy, moist cleavage.
招牌前菜
The signature app,
是本该在乡村俱乐部享用早午餐时吃的
intended to impress the country club brunch crowd,
鱼子酱酿鸡蛋
is the caviar egg.
焙烤过的鸡蛋配上一团鱼子酱
A shirred egg topped with a dollop of caviar
不过是厨师长因为没把握 缺乏想象力
is an excuse for the chef to overcharge us
又想多收钱的借口而已
for his insecurity and lack of imagination.
凯尔·卡斯帕无外乎就是这一口就能尝出的穷酸气
Carl Casper can best be summed up by the first bite of his needy
以及和奇迹完全不沾边的
and yet by some miracle also irrelevant
巧克力熔岩蛋糕
chocolate lava cake.
卡斯帕甚至没勇气把蛋糕少烤几秒
Casper didn’t even have the courage to undercook the cake,
导致蛋糕中心根本没有标志性的融化巧克力
thus curiously lacking its signature molten centre.
这道可悲的甜品拉开了
This sad dessert is emblematic
凯尔·卡斯帕令人失望的新篇章
of Carl Casper’s disappointing new chapter.
他令人印象深刻的 体重增幅只能说明
His dramatic… weight gain can only be explained
他一定吃完了所有
by the fact that he must be eating
退回厨房♥的食物
all the food sent back to the kitchen.”
两星
Two stars.
我不明白 我不明白
I don’t get it. I don’t get it.
过去人人都喜欢 甚至他以前也喜欢
Everyone loved it. He loved it, even.
为什么还要对我 对我做的菜写出这种刻薄的评论
Then why’d he write all that mean shit about me? About my food?
谁在意 谁在意呢
Who cares? Who cares?
我在意 因为我本可以做得更好的
I do. ‘Cause I could have done better.
我本该做我计划要做的东西的
I should have cooked the shit I was gonna cook.
可事实上每个人都很开心
You’re ignoring the fact that everyone was happy
而你只是在吹毛求疵罢了
and you’re making a problem where there’s no problem.
让人人开心并不困难
It’s not hard to make people happy.
有些东西只要放到菜单上
There’s certain things you could put on a menu
就能讨人喜欢
that’ll make everybody happy.
菜单上只要有生金枪鱼片 就一定会卖♥♥光
If you put ahi tuna on a menu, it will sell out.
绝对的 你也知道
It’s guaranteed. You know that.
但我做的牛脸肉是更好吃的菜
But I cooked the beef cheek, which is a better dish,
结果连都没人想试试
and nobody wants to even try it.
-但很好吃 -是 适合在家吃
-It was good, though. -Yeah, for family meal.
那你为谁烹饪
Well, who you cooking for, though?
我就是这个意思 我为什么要选择
That’s my point. Why do I have to pick?
为什么要选择呢 为什么不能两者兼得
Why do I have to choose? Why can’t I have both?
就有厨师做他想做的食物
There are chefs that cook food that they believe in
然后人们愿意尝试 进行新体验
and people will try because they’re open to a new experience
结果还非常喜欢
and they’ll end up liking it.
-那你想让我说什么 -真话
-What do you want me to say to you? -The truth.
你想我告诉你 你是我同事中
You want me to tell you that you’re the best chef
最棒的厨师
that I ever worked with.
是的 因为你就是最棒
And it’s true, because you are.
你确实很棒 凯尔 你是我认识的最棒的厨师
You are, Carl. You are the best chef I’ve ever worked with.
-好吧 -我真心的
-OK. -I mean it.
谢谢你
Well, thank you.
不客气
You’re welcome.
-我们说好不这样的 -我知道
-We both agreed not to do that. -I know.
不如我给你做点吃的
Why don’t I just cook you something?
好的 去他的 我们走
Oh, OK. Fuck it. Let’s go.
妈妈想跟你谈谈
Mom wants to talk to you.
伊内兹
Inez?
伊内兹
Inez.
你还好吧
Are you OK?
才给我两颗星
I got two stars.
得两颗星也挺好 是吧
Getting two stars is good, right?
我一般不怎么看那些东西 但是
I mean, I don’t read that shit normally, but, you know,
他开始写针对我的内容
then he starts writing all this personal shit about me and…
有多少个人给你工作 大概有五十个吧
How many people you got working? You got, like, 50 people.
波西都十岁了 还需要保姆吗
And Percy’s 10 years old. Does he still need a nanny?
他整天在学校 她还在这里做什么 嗨 弗洛拉
He’s in school all day. What does she even do here? Hi, Flora.
-嗨 凯尔先生 -我是说他需要什么
-Hi, Mr. Carl. -I mean, what does he need…
-她在这里做什么 -你知道他很难过 对不对
-What’s she doing here? -You know that he’s hurt, right?
因为我迟到了 我已经跟他道歉了 没事的
Because I was late? I already apologised to him. We’re fine.
迟到 他在外面足足等了你一小时
Late? He waited for you for one hour alone outside.
我没意识到有那么久
Well, I didn’t realise it was that long.
只是 那天
It’s just… that was the day that…
你说得对
You’re right.
我不喜欢他们那么写你
I didn’t like what they wrote about you.
我也不喜欢
I didn’t like it either.
很伤人 是吧
It hurt, alright?
你没事吧
You OK?
我没事
I’m alright.
那就好
Good.
我会补偿他的
I’m gonna make it up to him.
-玩得很开心 是吧 -嗯
-That was fun, right? -Yeah.
-你要去哪里 -我得琢磨菜单了
-Where you going? -I gotta work on a menu.
还很早 我能看你弄吗
It’s still early. Can I watch?
抱歉 这是工作
Yeah, sorry, it’s at work.
-我不会妨碍你的 -不行 这是工作
-I won’t get in the way. -Yeah, I gotta go work.
-好吧 拜 -我们下周再一起玩
-OK. Bye. -We’ll have fun next week.
好的
OK.
你在这里做什么 老兄 这些都是什么
What the hell are you doing here, man? What’s this madness, huh?
太疯狂了
This is crazy.
-你没回家吧 -没有
-You didn’t go home, did you? -No.
-过来 尝尝这个 -回家吧 老兄
-Come here. Check it out. -Go home, man.
-你整晚都在这里 快回家 -过来
-You’ve been here all night. Go home. -Come here.
睡个觉 去他妈的推特 快点 快回家
Get some sleep. Fuck Twitter. Come on, get outta here.
“去他妈的推特” 你说啥
“Fuck Twitter”? What are you talking about,
为什么”去他妈的推特”
“Fuck Twitter”?
就是 去他妈的 就是这个意思
I mean, you know, fuck ’em. That’s what I mean.
-谁会看那玩意 -我没有推特
-Who reads that shit anyhow? -I’m not on Twitter.
我不知道你在说什么
I don’t know what you’re talking about.
没什么 就是口头禅 那是什么
Nothing. Just classic bullshit. What is that?
那是烤牛肉 来尝尝
That’s carne asada. Check it out.
-好吃吗 -真是太好吃了 老兄
-Good? -It’s fucking unbelievable, man.
-真的吗 -天啊
-Is it? -Holy shit!
-不 说真的 -我就是说真的
-No, seriously. -No, I’m serious.
-跟我说实话 -我说的就是实话
-Tell me the truth. -I’m telling you the truth.
-太不可思议了 -调味怎么样
-It’s incredible. -Is it good seasoning?
-味道好极了 -开工啦
-The seasoning’s perfect. -Roll that shit!
厨师长整晚都在做菜
Chef Big Dog up all night cooking!
-快进来 老兄 -过来
-Come on in, buddy. -Come here.
-托尼 来尝尝这个 -闭嘴 尝尝这美味
-Tony, check this out. -Shut up and taste this, amuse douche.
-过来 -做了什么
-Come here. -What we got?
好吃吗
It’s good?
看看
Huh? Look at that.
-火候没过吧 -完美啊 厨师长
-Too much heat? -That’s perfect, Chef.
-好吃吗 味道如何 -棒极了
-It’s good? Seasoning? -Oh, it’s perfect.
-又辣又香 -你喜欢吗
-It’s nice and spicy. -You like it?
-老兄 -头儿 看看
-Oh, man. -Ha, jefe? Look at that.
-我喜欢 -是吗
-I do. -Yeah?
-太他妈好吃了 -真的好吃吗
-It’s fucking great. -Is it good?
-别糊弄我 -但真的太好吃了
-Don’t fuck with me. -But it’s so good.
-看吧 头儿 我都说了 -太美味了 老兄
-See, jefe? I told you. -It’s flavourful as fuck, man.
很好吃 是吧
It’s nice, right?
-真好吃吗 -厨师长 去他妈的推特
-Is it good? -Yo, Big Dog, fuck Twitter.
“去他妈的推特” 怎么又”去他妈的推特”
“Fuck Twitter”. Again with the “Fuck Twitter”.
为什么要去他妈的推特
Why should I fuck Twitter?
-你没有推特 -没有
-You’re not on Twitter? -No.
你真是不缺女人 是吧 是这样吧
You’re getting too much pussy? Is that the problem?
肯定是 对吧
It’s gotta be, right?
推特跟女人有什么关系
What does Twitter have to do with pussy?
你没听说过”社交网络”这个术语吗
Have you not heard of the term ‘social networking’?
-没听过 -就是那样啊
-Yeah. -Well, that’s what it is.
-意思是找女人 -对 找女人
-It means pussy? -Like, pussy.
或者得到什么的入场券
Or, like, getting tickets to something.
-或者发现新乐队 -快闪族之类的
-Or finding about a new band. -Flash mobs. That kind of stuff.