* These are the days
* Oh-oh
* These are the days
* You’ll remember
早，汤姆
Good morning, Tom.
* Never before
* And never since
* I promise
* Will the whole world
be warm as this *
12是我们的魔术数字
Twelve is our number.
是我丈夫在林肯大学，每季带足球队出赛场数
It’s the number of games my husband Tom coaches at Lincoln College every season.
是我们帐户每年清空的次数
It’s the number of times we zero out our bank account each year to make ends meet.
也是我们养育的孩子的数目
And it’s the number of kids we try to keep track of.
跑得顺吗？
Hey. Good run?
哦，还不错
Oh, yeah.
需要医护人员吗？
You need a paramedic?
不，只是膝盖不舒服，你写完了吗？
No, just a pair of knees. You finish?
还在校稿，但今天会寄给黛安
Still proofing, but I’m sending it to Diane today.
你看，新而干净的封面
Look at this. New, clean cover
还没沾到花生酱
No peanut butter stains…yet.
嘿，宝贝，宝贝？
Hey, baby? Baby?
你知道我在想什么吗？
You know, on the run, you know what I was thinking?
什么？
What?
我们结婚多久了，5年？
Well, we’ve been married, what, five years?
23年 23年！抱歉
Twenty-three. Twenty-three. Sorry.
我想我们需要做些小改变
And I think we could use a little change around here
就像这个老床垫一样
like-like this lumpy old mattress.
也许你知道，我们应该该扔掉它
Maybe we should just, you know, get rid of it.
别傻了，把凸起打平就可以了
Don’t be ridiculous, honey. You know you can just pound the lumps out of a mattress.
什么？ 把凸起打平就可以了？
What-What do you mean? You can just pound the lumps out of a mattress?
对，随便用力打吧，然后就会变平？
Yeah, just randomly start swatting away.
你不开始打吗？打，打
And it goes flat? Yes, yes.
我已经开始打了
Just start You just randomly start swatting
* These are the days
* You might fill with laughter
* Until you break
* These are the days *
我身上有只狗！养12个小孩的确疯狂
I got a dog on me! Twelve’s an insane number of kids
但我们也不喜欢小家庭
But having a small family was never an option for us.
你知道，汤姆喜欢和兄弟姐♥妹♥们♥一起成长生活
See, Tom loved growing up with seven brothers and sisters.
我姐姐去世后，我一直希望拥有7个兄弟姐妹
And after my sister died, I spent most of my time wishing I had seven brothers and sisters.
我们在伊州应用科技大学相遇
Tom and I met at Illinois Polytechnic University.
他梦想成为该校的足球总教练
He was a senior dreaming of becoming the head football coach there.
我梦想成为一个运动记者
I was a freshman dreaming of becoming a sports reporter.
我们都想要8个小孩，然后轰的一下
He wanted eight kids, I wanted eight kids. Bam.
遇见他一小时后，我知道就是他了
An hour after I met him, I knew he was the one.
我们的婚礼只有家人在
We just had family at the wedding.
还有沙克，汤姆的伴郎
Oh, and Shake Maguire, Tom’s best man.
真是个大棍
What a hot dog.
一年后，第一个孩子诺拉出生
A year later, we had our first– Nora.
我喜欢带她一起去上班
I loved taking her to work with me.
在查理与罗琳出生后，我们的梦想是住市区…
After Charlie and Lorraine were born, we realized our dream of living in the city…
但是不可能同时有8个孩子和2份工作
And having eight kids and two careers wasn’t gonna work.
我们想有职业晋升，但是更想要大家庭
As much as we wanted our big careers, we wanted our big family more.
所以汤姆在林肯当三♥级♥球队教练
So Tom settled for a Division III coaching job at Lincoln
我辞去报社的工作搬到乡下住
I quit writing for the Tribune, and we moved to the country.
* Ninety-nine bottles of beer
汤姆和我搬过去就忙起来了
Tom and I got busy when we moved to Midland.
这些年，亨利、莎拉、杰克及马克接连出生
We had Henry, Sarah, Jake and Mark in consecutive years.
我们向数字8迈进，却生了双胞胎，洁西卡和琴
Then we went for magic number eight, and instead we got the first set of fraternal twins Jessica and Kim.
9个小孩， 快点，伙计们，快点
Nine kids. Come on, you guys. Come on.
嘿，招招手，嗨！
Wave! Hi!
孩子越多，我们的事业大梦也越远
With each child, Tom and I got further from our big career dreams.
但我们不这么想
But we didn’t think about that.
教练，抱歉
Oh. Sorry, Coach.
我们忙着照顾9个小孩，很快乐，不想再生了
We had our hands full with nin. We were happy, and we were done.
我们参加了沙克成为母校体育主任的庆祝会
Then we went to a party celebrating Shake Maguire’s appointment.
致敬我们母校的体育主任
To athletic director at our alma mater.
然后酒醉狂欢后，我们又生了麦克
And, well, too many beers and nine months later, we had Mike.
后来汤姆跑去结扎
After that, Tom got a vasectomy.
但他没听到医师说手术需要
But he didn’t hear the doctor say that it would be
几个星期后才会生效
A few weeks…before the procedure became effective.
98年 尼格和凯尔到来，我们凑足了12个孩子
In ’98, Nigel and Kyle got us to that crazy number 12.
从那时起，我俩也成为危机处理专家了
But by then, Tom and I were experts at managing chaos.
大伙动作快！快快快！
Let’s move, gang. Come on, come on, come on!
查理昨晚又超过门禁时间，注意
Charlie missed his curfew again last night. Take care of that.
你只能涂一点唇油，小公主！
You can only put on so much lip gloss, princess!
你妨碍我集中精神！
You blew my concentration! Temper, Sarah.
现在只好从头开始！
Now I get to start all over again.
罗琳，赶快结束，好，爸爸！
Wrap it up, Lorraine! Okay, Daddy!
你看到我的青蛙吗，爸爸？
Have you seen my frog, Dad?
抱歉，查理、尼格、凯尔
Sorry, Charlie. Uh, Nigel. Kyle.
我是马克，我知道
It’s Mark. I knew that.
嘿，年轻人，你被老妈的雷达逮到了
Hey, teenager. You got caught on Mom radar last night.
假使你在比赛前与贝丝鬼混
You’re not gonna get that scholarship
你将无法拿到奖学金
If you’re out late with Beth…the night before a big game.
我不确定是否要上大学，
Well, I’m not so sure I even want to go to college.
什么时候开始有这种想法？
Since when?
贝丝妈妈介绍给我一个修车的工作
Since Beth’s mom offered me a job at the auto shop.
听起来不错
Hmm. Sounds exciting.
好的，等拿到奖学金再说
Well, we’ll talk about that after you get your full ride.
上课期间十点前回家，知道了吗？
And, meanwhile, in by 10:00 on school nights. Clear?
知到了，还有什么要讨论的吗？
Got it. Anything else you wanna talk about?
我说过我不太喜欢你吗？
Did I mention I don’t like you very much?
是的，你说过了，那我就放心了
Yeah, you mentioned that. Then I’m good.
我也是
Okay, me too.
老兄，不废话，我要新轮鞋
Dude, two words: need new skates.
老兄，不废话，自已去赚
Dude, three words: paper route.
“无法共进晚餐，汉克与我正搬进新公♥寓♥”
“Hi. Can’t make dinner. Hank and I are moving into our new apartment. ”
爱你的诺拉
Love, Nora.
有看到豆子吗，老妈？
Have you seen Beans, Mom? Mm-mm.
来吃吧，甘纳 你饿了吗？
Here you go, Gunner. You hungry, boy?
* I think it’s so wonderful
* That people are bound
to get together *
* I think it’s wonderful
that people are bound
to get together *
* I think it’s so good to know
that people are bound
to get together *
* I think it’s wonderful
that people are bound
to get together *
来吃吧，甘纳 你饿了吗？
Here you go, Gunner. Are you hungry?
我知道我们家人完全不
Look, I am totally aware that this family doesn’t value.
像我一样的强迫方式进行自我展示
Self-presentation in the same obsessive way that I do.
没关系，无论怎样，我的人生目标之一
Fine. Whatever. But one of my life goals
就是希望成为流行大♥师♥
Aside from being, like, a fashion guru
另外还要让本镇民众了解
Is to indicate to the local community that.
贝克家不缺肥皂
The Baker family actually owns a bar of soap.
这是身为家里的造型及卫生代表应该做的
So, as self-appointed in-house rep of style and hygiene
我每天应该多照镜子5分钟
I think I should be allotted at least five extra minutes in front of the mirror.
3分钟，成交
Three. Done.
现在快去帮你妹妹抹沙拉
Now help your sister butter the toast.
莎拉，你因暴♥力♥而遭受的网棍球禁赛令已取消，亨利
Sarah, your suspension from lacrosse for excessive force has been lifted.
你今天就要走了。亨利，你有乐队练习，好吗？
So you’re going today. Henry, you have band practice, all right?
单簧管给你清好了，以后不要在吃东西时练习
I cleaned your clarinet. Please don’t play with food in your mouth again.
琴，洁西卡，你们的老师要你们
Kim and Jessica, your teacher called and has made a request.
别在全班面前更正她
That you do not correct her in front of the class.
麦克要表演故事，裸♥露♥身体不算，好了，亲爱的
Mike, you have show-and-tell today. And, please, honey
记住身体部位并不重要
Remember that body parts do not count.
凯尔和尼格3:00要看牙医，得跟老爸去
Kyle and Nigel, you have a dentist’s appointment at 3:00. You’re goin’ to work with Dad.
我们今天要拍圣诞卡片
And we’re shooting our Christmas card today.
诺拉什么时候来？ 她可能不能来
What time’s Nora coming over? Uh, she may not make it.
她和那蠢蛋交往后就没回来过
She hardly ever comes home since she started dating that doorknob.
他才不是蠢蛋，那哥们熨牛仔裤，妈妈
He’s not a doorknob. The man irons his jeans, Mom.
这倒真的挺奇怪的，别介意
Yeah, that’s weird. Never mind.
我没拍到她，我用PS软件把她P进来
I’ll shoot it without her. I’ll Photoshop her in.
亲爱的，Ps软件能把我减10磅体重吗？
Honey, could you take 10 pounds off me with that Photoshop thing?
也把我合成进去可以吗？等等，假如莎拉用合成照片
Can I be Photoshopped in? Wait. If Sarah’s bein’ Photoshopped in
那么我也要合成进去，我们都要
Then I’m definitely gonna get Photoshopped in. Why don’t we all be