离婚不分手（2012）

好像什么都没发生一样
together hanging out as if, like, it’s no big deal.
-知道吗 这太他妈怪了 -我不觉得很
– Guess what. It’s fucking weird. – I don’t think this is–
怎么想就怎么说
Tell them what you think.
那就不揣着明白装糊涂了 真♥他♥妈♥怪
Let’s not play charades. It’s weird.
-没有人装糊涂 -没有
– There’s no charades being played here. – No charades.
-我们不糊涂 -没有
– No charading. – No.
我们分居了但还是朋友
We are separated, and we’re friends.
你们应该高兴才对
You guys should be happy.
我们以前老吵架 现在不了
We fought all the time. We don’t anymore.
你们不用夹在中间了 这样多完美啊
You don’t have to choose sides. It’s the perfect breakup.
所有人都满意
Yeah, everyone’s cool.
-谁说所有人都满意了 -不满意
– Everyone is not cool. – Not cool.
没有人满意
No one is cool here.
抱歉
I’m sorry.
我再也受不了了 对不起
I can’t do this anymore. I’m sorry.
-亲爱的 -贝丝
– Baby. – Beth.
贝丝好生气哦
Beth is so angry.
正是 她出离愤怒
Ja, she is über angry.
实在太奇怪了
This is too weird.
赛
Hey, C.
-能帮我一把吗 -怎么了
– Can you help me with something? – What?
也不是想逼你做什么
Don’t wanna pressure you into anything
不过这位先生是在太寂寞了
but this gentleman is awfully lonely and just–
来 我来教你 只要
Here, I’ll show you how it works. Just–
哦 天哪 哦 天哪
Oh, my God. Oh, God.
哦 天哪 哦 天哪
Oh, God. Oh, God.
他很享受
Oh, he likes that.
等一下 小点儿声 我室友在隔壁 别出声
Wait, be quiet. My roommate’s next door. Don’t make any sound.
好 哦 天哪 哦 天哪
All right. Oh, God. Oh, God.
哦 天哪 哦 天哪 哦 天哪 哦 天哪
Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh! Oh!
真不少啊
That was a big one.
-贝丝和塔克真是疯了 -疯了
– Beth and Tucker are crazy. – Crazy.
-是吧 -是啊
– Right? – Yes.
我们在一起玩玩儿有什么奇怪的
I mean, it is not weird that we hang out all the time.
你觉得奇怪吗
Do you think it’s weird?
不觉得 你是我最好的朋友
No. You’re my best friend.
你也是我最好的朋友
Yeah. You’re my best friend too.
上次我们有一个星期多没说话还是在高一
Last time we didn’t speak for more than a week was in 10th grade
你去加拿大太空训练营的时候
when you went to Space Camp Canada.
那五个星期太可怕了
That was a brutal five weeks.
抗重力训练真是惨无人道
The antigravity training was crazy, though.
那时候我很想你
But I missed you.
我也是
Me too. Heh.
看是谁回来了
Look who’s back.
-他恢复得很快嘛 -不是吧
– His recovery time is insane. – Oh, no.
他还是大学生 已经准备好了
He’s a college boy and he’s ready to rock.
来吧
Here we go. Oh!
-我累死了 -我也是
– Ugh. I’m exhausted. – Yeah, me too.
-甜点还不错吧 -太好吃了
– Dessert was good, right? – Oh, so good.
-晚安 -晚安
– Night. – Night.
今晚有点儿冷 你那儿的暖气还行吗
Hey, it’s kind of chilly tonight. How’s your heat in there?
-挺好的 挺好的 -那就好
– It’s fine. I’m fine. – Okay. Good.
抱歉我还赖在这里
Hey, sorry I’m still living back here.
你住多久都行 这是你的工作室嘛
Stay as long as you want. It’s your studio.
而且 我很高兴你能留在这里
Also, it’s really nice having you here.
我也很高兴有你在
For me too.
-晚安 -晚安 爱你
– Night. – Night. Love you.
爱你
Love you too.
大家一起唱起来
Everybody sing my little song now
大家一起唱
Everybody sing Yeah
爱只要一点点 我们就可以走很远
A little bit of love can go a long long way
你想要做的事
But what you’re thinking of
应该从今天开始做起 从今天开始
should maybe start today. Start today
从今天开始 从今天开始
Oh, oh, oh start today, start today
你要去点 不去是吧
Are you gonna–? No.
大杯咖啡带走
Can I get a large coffee to go?
打扰一下 先生 先生
Excuse me, sir? Sir.
先生 就是你 抱歉
Sir. Yeah, you. Sorry.
你知道你刚才
You do realize that you
插了很多人的队吗
just cut in front of a bunch of people, right?
-对不起 我不知道 -你不知道吗
– I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. – Did you not know?
-我赶时间 -所以你还是知道的
– I’m just in a big rush, so… – So you did know.
而且我相信大家都赶时间
And I’m sure everyone here is in a rush.
怎么了嘛
Okay, is this really happening?
她在看蛋糕 所以我 我觉得
She was looking at the pastries, so I just– I thought…
你不光插了她的队
It’s not just her.
还插了很多后面的人的队
It’s everyone behind her.
你还要征求所有站在后面的人的意见
If you wanna ask every single
问问他们愿不愿意
person if it’s okay that you cut
因为你要迟到了就让你插队
becuase you are late, be my guest.
不要觉得自己的时间就比别人宝贵多少
Don’t assume your time is more important than others’.
谢谢你的长篇大论 大家工作愉快
Thank you for the lecture. Have a great day, everybody.
除你之外
Not you.
美国文化行将就木了
American culture is dying,
国内的观众越来越喜欢真人秀
and there’s an unrelenting appetite in this country
像莱丽·班克斯这样毫无资质的歌♥手
for reality shows, talentless pop stars like Riley Banks,
和情节重复又没内涵的电影
recycled, bloated movie franchises.
我们吸收的低俗文化越多 我们就越喜欢它们
The more we consume crap, the more we want crap.
近朱者赤 近墨者黑
You are what you eat.
听起来无药可救了 最后会怎样呢
It sounds utterly hopeless. Is there an upshot?
我认为民众对简约的渴望会迅速高涨
I think there will be a groundswell movement toward simplicity.
人人都会希望得到精神 思想和身体上的补给
People will crave spiritual, mental and physical nourishment.
-社会会回归本真 -真是引人深思啊
– It’ll be back to basics. – Wow. A lot to chew on.
如果您想了解更多关于这个压抑又有趣的话题
For more on this gloomy but interesting subject,
《屎代精神》
西莱斯特·马丁 作家 流行趋势预测师
敬请关注西莱斯特·马丁的新书《屎代精神》
look out for Celeste Martin’s new book, Shitegeist,
本书将于周一与读者见面
on bookshelves Monday.
我昨晚跟作秀二人组一起吃的饭
I had dinner with the drama club.
-谁 -贝丝和塔克
– Who’s that? – Beth and Tucker.
他们饭吃了一半儿就走了
They left in the middle of dinner
就因为他们觉得我不该跟杰西见面
because they don’t approve of me and Jesse hanging out.
这完全是偏见 我们这样挺好的
It is so judgy. We’re fine.
如果我俩是同性恋的话
If we were gay,
我现在也不用跟你诉苦了
we wouldn’t be having this conversation.
我们可以踏踏实实的做朋友
We’d just be friends.
什么也不用想
We wouldn’t need to think about it.
你跟杰西明显还没做好分开的准备
You and Jesse are clearly not ready to let go of each other.
-这没什么不对的 -没什么不对的啊
– There’s nothing wrong with that. – There’s nothing wrong with it.
-你到底怎么想 -如果真让我说的话
– I mean, what do you think? – Well, to be honest–
我的苍天啊 我们要跟莱丽·班克斯签约
Oh, my God. We’re signing Riley Banks?
怎么个情况 斯科特 我刚在采访中骂过她
What the fuck, Scott? I just trashed her on TV.
所以我才想跟你谈谈 这是笔大单子
That’s why I wanted you to come in. It’s a huge account.
当初我们自己出来开公♥司♥
We built this company so we
不就是为了不跟莱丽·班克斯这种人签约吗
didn’t have to sign accounts like Riley Banks.
如果不签她的话 公♥司♥可能就没了
You and I may not have a company if we don’t take Riley Banks.
我真是不明白 她就是个时髦的贱逼
I don’t understand. She’s like a vagina and a hairdo.
她要发新专辑
She’s releasing a new CD.
想让我们帮她做品牌推广
She wants us to do the branding and merchandising.
好吧 我自个儿回去哭吧
Ugh. Fine. I’m gonna go eat my feelings.
刚才那事儿 我觉得你是需要出去约会了
If you want my opinion, I do think you should start dating.
斯科特 我很好
Scott, I’m fine.
以后机会多着呢 我一点儿也不担心
I have so much time. I’m not worried.
就当是为了我 滚去找男人去
Do me a favor and get your fuck on before you meet the next guy.
什么 你这是干嘛
What is that? What are you doing?
抱歉 我想客串一下尖牙利嘴同志男的角色
Sorry. I was trying to be your saucy gay friend.
-感觉不怎么样 -别 别这样
– Didn’t feel good. – No. Don’t. Mm-mm.
经济形势一片惨淡啊 哥们儿
The economic climate is real bad, man.
我的生意受影响最大
I think my business is taking the hardest hit of all.
太惨了
It’s brutal.
是我有问题吗 怎么没听别人抱怨啊
Is it just me or is nobody talking about it?