离婚不分手（2012）

No, no, no. I’m at the airport.
贝丝 我就在登机门口坐着呢
Beth, I’m sitting at the gate.
我当然拿到裙子了
Of course I have my dress.
先生 很抱歉打扰你
Hi, sir. I’m so sorry to bother you,
但是能让我插个队吗
but is there any way I could cut in line?
我一会要在婚礼上当伴娘
I’m the maid of honor at this wedding.
很抱歉打扰你
Hi. I’m sorry to bother you.
没准你听到我跟那位先生说的话了
Maybe you heard me talking to
我需要拿我的裙子
the last gentleman, but I need to get my dress.
不总是能按部就班
It hasn’t always moved at that pace
磁带的标签和内容并不匹配
The records don’t match the tapes
若我给出理由某人就会抱怨
Somebody holler if I make my case
当然这只是品味问题
Sure it’s just a matter of taste
没有人从不说话
Nobody’s saying nothing at all
宝贝你为何不打破隔阂
Baby why don’t you break down the walls
稍微拥抱一下秋日
A little something to brace the fall
别人帮我拨通电♥话♥
Somebody help me place my call
我知道你认为你得改变
I know you think you need the change
不然你就感觉拘束
Otherwise you feel out of place
稍微拥抱一下秋日
A little something to brace the fall
别人帮我拨通电♥话♥
Somebody help me place my call
我会自♥由♥
I’ll be for free
我会空出日程
I’ll make no other plans
她向西班牙男士求爱
She pursued her love of Spanish men
但对仅是朋友的塔克难以忘怀
But missed her Tucker more than just a friend
我们的公主回家投入王子的怀抱
Our princess returned home to her loving prince
然后他们一起幸福到老
And they’ve been together ever since
我们爱你 贝茜
We love you, Bethy.
现在我们要把话筒给西莱斯特
Now we’re gonna turn it over to Celeste,
贝丝全世界最好的朋友
Beth’s best friend in the world.
那真是…谢谢了 姑娘们
Wow. Oh. That… Thanks, girls.
真的是…无以言表
That was… There are no words for what that was.
怎样让修女怀孕
How do you get a nun pregnant?
上她呗
You fuck her.
谢谢你 牧师 非常感谢
Thank you, Reverend. Appreciate it a lot.
从洛杉矶到罗德岛可不容易
It is not easy to get to Rhode lsland from Los Angeles.
要先打出租车 然后坐飞机
There was a cab to a plane
再坐出租车倒火车 最后租车开过来
to a cab to a train to a rental car.
搞不好在什么地方还坐了段黄包车
There was maybe a rickshaw in there somewhere.
要么就是骑驴
Maybe a donkey. Heh-heh.
但是事实上
But the truth is,
为了贝丝 我天涯海角也愿意去
I would go anywhere for Beth
因为她是我最好的朋友 我深爱着她
because she’s my best friend and I love her so much,
也很为她高兴
and I’m so happy for her.
我们从大四那年开始的一个传统
When we were in college, senior year we had this tradition.
就是贝丝 塔克 杰西和我
Beth and Tucker and me and Jesse would meet,
每周日在毕晓普聚会 无论晴雨
come rain or shine, every Sunday at the Bishop.
毕晓普 美国城市名
尽管那个时候他们只是朋友
And there was always something there with these two,
但他们两人一直都很暧昧
even though they were just friends.
就像两人在一起就很轻松
Just, like, an ease that they had with each other.
他们是完美的一对
They are perfect.
最终 有情人终成眷属
At last, love wins.
贝丝还有塔克
Beth and Tucker,
你俩很幸运 很幸运成为最好的朋友
you guys are lucky, so lucky to be best friends.
好好努力
Work hard at that.
也要尊重这一点
And respect that.
要有耐心
Um… Be patient.
你不一定得是正确的
You don’t always have to be right.
即使你就是对的
Even if you are,
也他妈一点都不重要
doesn’t fucking matter anyway.
每天都为它而战
Fight for it every day.
我当初也这么做就好了
I wish I had.
干杯
Cheers.
现在说这个可能不是时候
This might not be the best time to talk about it,
但我们总得找个机会
but at some point we’re
吐槽一下塔克的舞蹈动作
gonna have to address Tucker’s dance moves.
他好特别
He’s so special.
你刚刚的演讲挺…
So your speech was, uh…
有感觉的
beautiful?
谢谢你
Thank you.
我认真的
I meant it.
我知道
I know.
你知道还有什么有感觉吗
You know what else is beautiful?
-不要吧 -要
– Oh, no. – Oh, yes.
-我们敢吗 -敢的
– Do we dare? – We do.
-在这儿 大庭广众之下吗 -当然
– Here, in front of everyone? – Of course.
-好吧 就这一次也行 -老天爷
– All right, maybe just once. – Oh, my God.
-跟我说话 -对 -天哪
– Talk to me. – Oh, yeah. – Oh, God.
前头细 底下粗
Pointy tip, thick stem.
-你真是个坏孩子 -还越来越长呢
– You’re a bad boy. – You’re a grower.
你已经毕业了 过上成人生活了
You have graduated and moved on to an adult life.
-天啊 不要 天哪 -不
– Oh, God. Oh, no. Oh, God. – Oh, no.
-我是小玉米笋 不是大玉米 -天
– I’m a baby corn. I’m not a big corn. – Oh, my God.
-上帝呀 -上帝
– Oh, my God. – Oh, God. Oh.
哥们 这太堕落了
Oh, dude, it’s so rotten.
你们俩干嘛呢
What are you guys doing?
-没事 就 -就杰西和我玩的游戏
– Oh, nothing. Just… – It’s this thing that Jesse and I do.
比如 我们拿长得像小阴♥茎♥的东西
We take this thing that resembles, like, a tiny little penis,
然后我们就 像是…
and then we, like: Ah…
-我没太明白 -挺蠢的游戏
– I don’t really get it. – It’s stupid.
-是挺蠢的 -快要上晚餐了
– It’s stupid. – They’re about to serve dinner.
-好的 -准备入席吗
– Okay. – Wanna sit down?
嗯 嗯
Yeah, yeah.
-舞池里再见了 西莱斯特 -好
– See you on the dance floor, Celeste? – Yeah.
来啊 来啊 来啊
Do it, do it, do it.
-我爱你 宝贝 -我爱你 宝贝
– I love you, baby. – I love you, baby.
宝贝
Ooh, ooh, baby
我们出门沐浴着月光
When we’re out in the moonlight
抬头看满天繁星 宝贝
Lookin’ up on the stars above oh, baby
是啊 宝贝
Yes, oh, baby
我们在沙滩上做着爱
Sandy beach, I was makin’ love
浪潮拍打在我们身上
As a tide moves in on us
肩并肩散步的感觉如此美妙
Feels so good walking side by side
想与你共度余生
Wanna be with you all my life
宝贝
Oh, oh, baby
是啊 宝贝
Yes, oh, baby
是啊 宝贝
Yes, oh, baby
听起来 你的演讲令人尴尬到极点了
It sounds like the most embarrassing speech ever.
你以后怎么好意思再在朋友面前露脸啊
How are you gonna show your face to your friends again?
是啊 奇怪的是
Yeah, well, weirdly,
幸亏我说了 不知道怎么我感觉好多了
I’m happy that I did it. I feel better somehow.
爱死这首歌♥了
This song is my bitch! Yeah!
这些基佬真的很会搞聚会
Wow. The gays really know how to party, huh?
你什么意思啊
What do you mean?
这是个同性恋俱乐部
This is a gay club.
今晚才刚开幕 还不知道后面有什么呢
It’s opening night. It doesn’t know what it is yet.
莱丽 这个俱乐部叫”吞”
Riley, the club is called Swallow.
我完全被那家伙迷住了
I totally dated that guy.
不好意思
Excuse me.
你能转告你的朋友莱丽说我们很崇拜她吗
Could you tell your friend Riley that we worship her?
她真的很漂亮
She’s so pretty.
当然 她跳完舞我就告诉她
Sure. I’ll tell her when she’s done dancing.
你知道那个标志是…
You are aware that the logo is a…?
插在屁♥眼♥里的鸡♥巴♥ 对
A dick in a butt? Yeah.
我们所有的朋友都很震惊
All of our friends are, like, rocking it.
它都有点变成同性恋标识了
It’s kind of become like gay Izod.
太了不起了
It’s amazing.
青少年
The tweens
不再粉她了 斯科特 但是同志们很喜欢
don’t want her anymore Scott, but the gays do.
你自己就是 想想基佬群体
You’re gay. Start thinking gay.