猫狗大战（2001）

What dumb name did the bipeds saddle you with? Spot? Fifi? Rover?
-小卢 -好驴的名字
-Lou. -God forbid.
小卢 抱歉
Oh. Lou. Sorry.
那小鬼一直这样凶巴巴的吗 说不定是吃错了东西了
Is that boy always grumpy? They should switch his food.
人类有点情绪化 你以后就会习惯了 走吧
Humans can get a little emotional. You’ll get used to it. Come on.
这是哪来的
Where’s that coming from?
哇 真酷
Whoa!
-屌♥爆了 -这只是标准设备
-Cool. -What? It’s standard equipment.
EC3影像电♥话♥ 研究资料库 密♥码♥表 狗点心
Vid-phone, research archive database, cipher charts, Snausages.
-这是什么 -别碰
-Hey, what’s this? -Heel!
-不过是个按钮嘛 -那是紧急按钮 不能乱按
-The big button. -You don’t just press the big button.
-天呐 -抱歉
-Jeez. -Sorry.
记住受训的内容
Just try to remember your training.
开始吧 情况是这样的 你的新主人是位科学家
Let’s start. Here’s the skinny. Your new master’s a scientist…
他在研究对狗过敏的疗法
working on a cure for dog allergies.
这是件大事 如果没有人对狗过敏
It’s big. If no one’s allergic to dogs,
对我们狗来说是件好事
we’ll have the advantage.
这是先前那只狗 136♥4♥特工 又名巴迪
This was your predecessor. Agent 136♥4♥, AKA Buddy.
他一个月前被猫绑♥架♥了 他表现欠佳 所以被迫退休
He was catnapped. Wasn’t on top of his game, so he had to retire.
他有一栋度假别♥墅♥ 好运狗
He got a condo in Boca. Lucky dog.
你是来替补他的 不要让猫族偷走教授的配方
You’re to replace him and keep the cats away from the formula.
不能让他们接近教授 走吧
Can’t let them near that. Now, come on.
特工 见见其他同伴
All right, agent, let’s meet the team.
哇 特工耶
“Agent”! Whoa!
小子 看那边
Kid, look over there.
-他是皮克 -皮克
-That’s Peek. -Peek?
我不懂
I don’t get it.
皮克 现身吧
Peek, show yourself.
-在转角处有一只白色… -那是什么
-We got a calico on the corner of Center and Main… -What the…
哦 天呐
Oh, my God!
皮克负责守卫
Peek’s early warning.
他设备齐全 雷达 声纳 体热和气味侦测器
He’s got it all. Radar, sonar, thermo-imaging, odor-matrixing…
可以侦测出三个街区内的外来猫
to detect a non-residential cat from three blocks away.
-皮克 入列 -知道了
-Peek, fall in. -Roger that.
-萨姆 你在哪儿 -东边十八分之一公里处
-Sam, what’s your 20? -1/18 of a klick east.
我要用标准D步伐退后 倒数三
I’m going to backtrack using a delta approach in three…
二 一
two… one.
嘿 你们好
Hey, guys.
哦 不 又来了
Oh, no, not again.
这是哪里
Where am I?
-萨姆 过来 -哦
-Over here, Sam. -Oh!
请允许我喘口气 长官
Request permission to pant heavily, sir.
可以
Granted.
-我来介绍 这位是 小卢 -嘿 小卢
-Boys, I want you to meet Lou. -Hey, Louie.
-小卢 -人类 注意
-Hey, Lou. -Human!
小卢要接替巴迪 处境危险
He’s taking Buddy’s place in the hot seat.
他刚从学校毕业 但是很熟悉最新技术 对吧 小卢
Being fresh from the academy, he’s current on the new techniques, right?
你们会这招吗 来 我快咬到你了
You know this one? I got you!
你别动嘛 让我咬一口嘛
Oh, I just missed you.
哦 天呐
Holy Chihuahua.
-怎么会这样 -这是意外 派错狗了
-How did this happen? -He slipped through.
你答应要找专业的 结果呢
You promised me a pro! I get a Puppy!
他根本还没有结扎 他应该躲在妈妈怀里吃奶
He’s still got his you-know-whats!
没时间了 布奇 把他留下来 通话完毕
There’s no time. He stays. End of discussion. Out.
谁来告诉我
So tell me, one of you…
除掉那只狗了吗
is the dog out of the way?
我巧妙的陷阱有没有用
Did the Puppy fall for my clever trap?
你们没人要向我报告吗
None of you have a tale to tell?
没有好消息让我高兴一下
A little story for me, perhaps?
你 告诉我 事情办好了没有
You! Tell me, is the game afoot?
好了
Yes?
-为什么那只狗还在啊 -不 不 不在了
-Why is the game afoot? -I mean, no.
好极了 小狗死了 现在我们可以
Excellent. So the Puppy is dead. Now we can move on to…
等 等一下
Wait, wait.
-能不能改答案 -那只狗死了 或没死
-Can I change my answer? -Is the Puppy alive or not?
另一只狗告诉他那是炸♥弹♥
Another dog told him it was a bomb.
另一只狗
Another dog?
反正我们一定能够进入地下实验室 各位 对吗
Anyway, I am sure we’ll get into the basement lab just fine. Right, guys?
-各位 -对 没问题
-Guys! -Oh, yeah, absolutely.
-可以 -看吧
-Absolutely. Uh-huh. -See?
乌云计划应该能够顺利进行
Project Dark Cloud will go without a hitch.
乌云 那是我取的名字吗 乌云
Dark Cloud? Is that what I’m calling my plan?
据我所知 应该不是
No, you’re calling it…
-你称之为 风暴 -风暴
-How about Storm? -Storm.
黑色风暴
Dark Storm, yes.
没错 因为我要像黑色风暴一样 现身在世人面前
Like a powerful, dark storm, I will make my presence known to the world.
我要像雾一样潜入狗党的控制中心
Like a seeping mist, I will creep into the dogs’ center of power…
让他们听到我的名字 就吓得全身发抖
and make them quake in fear at the very mention of my name!
丁哥
Mr. Tinkles!
-躲起来 -快点
-Hide! -Quickly!
-你在哪儿啊 -快 躲起来
-Where are you? -Quickly!
原来你在这儿 丁哥
There you are, Mr. Tinkles.
我到处在找你 你跑哪儿去了呢
I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Where have you been?
梅森先生一定很高兴见到你
Mr. Mason will be so pleased to see you.
我带你去找他
I’ll take you to him.
你身上好臭
You’re a stinky kitty.
我先帮你洗个澡
First you have to have a bath.
丁哥 别忘了洗耳朵后面
Mr. Tinkles, remember to wash behind the ears!
如果要当特工 就该取个好名字
If I’m going to be a secret agent, I should have a better name.
譬如 像是”全面终结者”
I was thinking “Total Annihilation.”
那是职业摔角选手 抱歉 换个名字
He’s a pro wrestler. That name’s taken.
好吧 改叫”致命武器”
Then “Doom Machine” it is.
就算你自称是太空狗 我也无所谓
You call yourself Squicky the Space Dog for all I care.
反正你也成不了事
That don’t make your behind a rocket.
你不是特工 但是你非要帮忙不可
You are not an agent, but you are going to help us.
事有先后 听好了 小子
So first things first. Kid, pay attention.
101规章
History 101:
狗永远是人类最好的朋友 想必连你都知道
We have always been man’s best friend. Even you know that.
至于猫 那就不一样了
But cats, they’re another story.
-皮克 从古埃及开始 -拜托 我们已经看过好多次了
-Start with ancient Egypt. -We’ve seen that 5 billion times.
难道不能 好吧 抱歉 那我们看吧
Never mind. Sorry. Here goes.
古埃及
Ancient Egypt.
看到象形文字没有
See these hieroglyphics?
人类解译出古人膜拜猫
Humans think it says ancient people worshiped cats.
但其实是被猫统治
But in reality, they were ruled by them.
恶猫仙亚卡库蒙 强迫埃及人建金字塔 纪念碑
An evil cat named Shen-Akh-Akumon made them build pyramids, monuments.
把人类踩在脚底下
He treated them like they were his litter box.
-当时情况很糟糕 -这段最精彩
-Things were terrible. -This is the best part.
狗党是人类最要好的朋友 于是起而反抗
So the dogs, being man’s best friend, rose up.
击垮了猫族
And put them down.
人类重拾统治权 我们只是安分地陪在身边
With humans back on top, we took our natural place at their side.
人类忘了我们的功劳
The people just forgot?
你要记住 人类是原始物种 他们感应不到地震和恐惧
Remember, they’re a primitive species. Can’t sense earthquakes, smell fear.
甚至连自己放屁都不敢承认
They can’t even take responsibility for their own farts.
好恶
Gross.
是我 放的
Guilty.
我来开门
I’ll get the fence.
我们就这样开始行动
That’s how our outfit got started.
有时坏猫会自视太高 自以为能够统治狗党和人类
Sometimes a cat gets too big for his coat and tries to take over.
任务是 在教授配方研发成功前 不能让猫族接近教授
We must keep cats from the lab till the formula’s done.
遵命
Yes, sir!
-有事就用无线电通讯联络 -是 遵命
-Anything weird, call us. -Yes, sir!
-有问题吗 -只有一个小问题
-Any questions? -Just one, sir.
-说吧 -古埃及是什么
-Shoot. -What’s ancient Egypt?
臭猫 不许动
Freeze, cat.
我是特工
I’m an agent.
动作快到看不到自己
I’m so fast, I can’t see myself.
我就是致命武器特工 你看到了没有
Agent Doom Machine. You see that?
小心 连我都察觉不到
Watch out, cat. I couldn’t even see it.
小乖狗狗 你好
There’s a good Puppy. Hello!
别怕 别怕