神奇队长

之后 我深切希望我的骨灰
After, it is my expressed desire that my ashes
被带去一个平常的地方
shall be taken to a nondescript location,
最好是公开而又人口稠密的地方
preferably public and heavily populated.
然后立刻狠狠地把我的骨灰
At which point my ashes, promptly and unceremoniously,
在最近的厕所冲掉”
are to be flushed down the nearest toilet.”
以上
End quote.
那很具有喜剧性
Now that’s comedy.
– 先生 够了 – 我还没说完
– Sir, that’s enough. – I’m not finished.
嘿 等等 我还没说完
Hey, wait, I’m not finished.
– 爸爸 – 你没听懂我说什么
– Dad! – You’re not listening to me.
– 爸爸 – 这不是她所希望的
– Dad! – This is not what she wanted!
– 别停下 – 过来 – 放开我
– Just keep moving. – Come on. – Let go of me!
爸爸
Dad!
她是我的妻子 这是她的愿望
She’s my wife! This is her will!
这是与她意愿相背的
This is against her wishes!
见鬼 我们还准备了要唱的歌♥
Goddamn it! We have songs to sing!
爸爸
Dad!
请你们打开圣经
If you’ll open your books,
今早我们诵读马太福音
we’ll read this morning
第十八章 十五到二十节
from Matthew 18, verses 15-20.
你是我们家所遭遇的最大的不幸
You are the worst thing that has ever happened to my family.
你为什么不遵从你女儿的意愿
Why won’t you respect your daughter’s wishes?
还有你孙儿们的意愿呢
Or your grandchildren’s?
嘿 孩子们
Hi, kids.
– 亲爱的 – 你好 外公 我是耐伊
– Honey. – Hello, grandpa, I’m Nai.
耐伊 我们之前还没见过呢
Nai. We’ve never met.
嘿 艾比 我很抱歉
Hey, Abby. I’m sorry.
对不起
I’m sorry.
嘿 亲爱的
Hi, honey.
外婆
Grandma!
你好 外婆
Hello, grandma.
我们全家在一起 这不是很棒吗
We’re all together. Isn’t this wonderful?
艾比和我要带孩子们去参加仪式
Abby and I are gonna take the children to the ceremony,
然后你可以跟我们一起回家
and then you can follow us to the house.
他们是我的孩子 应该跟我待在一起
They’re my kids. They’re staying with me.
孩子们 我很抱歉你们要目睹这一切
Children, I’m sorry that you have to witness this,
但是我觉得你们的爸爸并不适合参加葬礼
but I don’t think your father is fit to attend the funeral.
我们不会让你把她埋进土里的
We’re not gonna let you put her in the ground!
你觉得警♥察♥会听谁的呢 是我
Who do you think the police are gonna listen to? Me?
还是穿着耍宝衣服的嬉皮士
Or some hippie in a clown outfit?
走吧 艾比
Come on, Abby.
我们要去哪里 我…
Where are we going? I’m…
我们要去看看雷思丽
We’re going to see Leslie.
我在跟孩子们聊天呢
I’m visiting with the children.
我们得在家见他们
We have to see them at the house.
再给我点时间…
Give me a minute…
亲爱的 雷思丽在等我们
Honey, Leslie is waiting.
她在等我们 走吧 好吗
Leslie is waiting. Come on. Okay.
– 外婆再见 – 外公外婆 再见
– Bye, grandma. – Bye, grandma and grandpa.
回到车上去 我们走
Back on Steve. Let’s go.
– 爸爸 – 我们走
– Dad? – Let’s go.
爸爸 我们要去哪里
Dad, where are we going?
我们要去阻止这个见鬼的葬礼
We’re going to stop this fucking funeral!
– 不 爸爸 – 不 爸爸 不要
– No, dad! – No! Dad, no!
爸爸 我们不能去
Dad, we can’t go!
拜托了 听我们说
Please, listen to us.
我们为什么不能去妈妈的葬礼
Why can’t we go to mom’s funeral?
因为爸爸
Because of dad.
– 因为他的发言吗 – 是的
– Because of his speech? – Yes!
所有人都闭嘴 然后坐下
Everyone shut up and sit down!
– 都他妈给我坐下 – 爸爸
– Sit the fuck down! – Dad.
闭嘴 都他妈把安全带系上
Silence! Put your goddamn seat belts on!
不 快停车
No! Stop Steve!
你听见外公说的话了 他会让警♥察♥逮捕我们的
You heard grandpa. He’ll have us arrested!
他们不能阻止我们去救妈妈
They are not stopping us from saving mom!
爸爸 任务中止吧 我们回家
Dad, abort the mission! Go home!
– 中止任务 – 我们是去救妈妈
– Abort the mission! – We are rescuing mom!
妈妈已经死了 她不会希望我们这样的
Mom is dead! This is not what she would have wanted…
– 他们没有这个权力 – 我不想失去你
– They have no right! – I don’t want to lose you!
拜托了 我们不能连你也失去
Please. We can’t lose you too.
见鬼
Motherfuck!
我脑海中关于妈妈的记忆 她大笑着
I have memories of mom, laughing.
却不记得那是什么时候了
I can’t even remember when that was.
妈妈的精神病发作了
Mom had psychotic episodes.
产生了幻觉
She had hallucinations,
把我们的头撞向石头
Smashing our heads in with rocks.
我听到他们说了
I heard them talking about it.
妈妈的病比我们所知道的还要严重
Mom was sicker than any of us knew.
是爸爸逼疯她的
Dad made her crazy.
爸爸很危险
Dad’s dangerous.
你只觉得我们的生活非常棒
You think our lives are so great.
觉得爸爸很完美
You think dad is so perfect.
耶鲁 斯坦福 普林斯顿 哈佛
Yale, Stanford, Princeton, Harvard,
达特矛斯 麻省理工 布朗
Dartmouth, MIT, Brown.
非常出色
Well done.
– 谢谢 – 很了不起
– Thank you. – It’s very impressive.
也许吧
I guess.
是的
Yeah.
这段时间你… 你都瞒着我吗
All this time you… You’ve been deceiving me?
– 什么 没有啊 – 我带你去图书馆
– What? No. – I took you to the
而你却背着我 偷偷地参加SAT考试
library and you snuck around behind my back,
然后联♥系♥学校吗
taking SAT tests and contacting universities?
爸爸 不是那样的
Dad, it’s not like that.
我们家不是被公共认可的家庭教育
We’re not an accredited home school.
我不知道你是怎么办到的
I don’t know how the fuck you did it.
– 也许是用某种方式… – 你不明白
– I guess you somehow managed… – You don’t understand.
搞到了被认可的成绩单 证明了自己的能力
To create acceptable transcripts, got your work approved.
听着 爸爸 拜托
Listen. Listen, dad, please.
一切我都不知道也没有允许过
All without my knowledge or approval.
我不清楚哪个更了不起
I don’t know what’s more impressive,
是你被所有这些优秀的大学录取
the fact that you got into all these fine schools,
还是… 还是这几个月来
or… or that for months
你当着我的面撒谎
you’ve been lying directly to my face.
是妈妈
It was mom.
她一手操办的 我们一起申请到的
She helped me with everything. We did it together.
我只是想去上大学
I just want to go to college.
你通晓六国语言 你精通高等数学和理论物理
You speak six languages. You have high math, theoretical physics!
这就是为什么
This is what I’m talking about!
这些人还能再教你什么
What the hell are these people going to teach you?
我什么都知道 什么都不懂
I know nothing! I know nothing!
因为你 我就是个怪胎
I am a freak because of you!
你让我们变成怪胎的
You made us freaks!
妈妈明白 她理解
And mom knew that! She understood!
除了书本上的东西
Unless it comes out of a fucking book,
我一无所知
I don’t know anything about anything!
爸爸
Dad.
老兄 你应该穿上点衣服
You should put some clothes on, buddy.
不 都待在车上
No, stay on Steve.
我马上就回来
I’ll be right back.
– 他在哪里 – 不行
– Where is he? – No.
艾比 我需要雷尔
Abby, I need Rell.
这是行不通的 你知道杰克的
It won’t work like this. You know Jack.
他是我儿子
He’s my son.
好吧
All right.
全看时机 放轻松
It’s all about timing. Just be easy.
保持
Follow through.
好了 拿上你的东西
Okay, get your things.
– 请等一下 – 快点 雷尔
– Just a minute, please. – Come on, Rell.
我说了”等一下”
I said “Just a minute.”
显然我是让您生气了 我很抱歉
I’ve clearly upset you, and I apologize.