滑稽戏（2010）

And you are in my mirror because?
对不起 我是杰克的朋友
Oh, sorry. I’m friends with Jack,
我在找工作
and I’m looking for a job.
你在哪儿跳过舞
And where have you danced?
大部分时间在家 但我会跳舞
At home, mostly. But I can move.
把你的名字和电♥话♥号♥码给肖恩
Okay, give your name and number to Sean.
下次试镜会联♥系♥你的
Let you know when we’re having our audition.
具体什么时候
When will that be, exactly?
肖恩
Sean?
尼基死哪儿去了
Where the hell is Nikki?
我不知道 她又迟到了
I don’t know. She’s late again.
我从不迟到 从不
Oh, I’m never late. Ever.
那太好了
That’s great.
我们马上要演出了 下次再来吧
We’re trying to put on a show here. Come back another time.
我之前从没看到过像这样的
I’ve never seen anything like this before.
我需要一份工作 我想在这儿工作
I need a job. I wanna work here.
激♥情♥澎湃 可惜不是时候
Great enthusiasm, terrible timing.
把你的名字和号♥码留给杰克
So leave your name and your number with Jack
你楼下的朋友
your friend downstairs.
我们会联♥系♥你的好吗 我保证
And we’ll call you. Okay? Promise.
你能帮我修下这个啊
Hey, can you fix this for me?
动起来 女士们
Let’s move it, ladies!
-好啊 -我的天 尼基
– Hello. – Oh, my God. Nikki.
你或许无法相信
You’re probably not gonna believe this…
但我和肖恩谈过了 他说
…but Sean and I were talking, and he said….
我说 尼基不能加入我们的开场演出
I said, “It’s so sad that
实属遗憾
Nikki couldn’t join us for the opening number…
但要是下次她可以加入那就太好了
…but it would be so great if she joined us for the next one.”
我做指甲去了 没想到耗时那么长
Paws and claws. Took longer than I thought.
也包括了我炒你之后找新工作的时间
So is finding a new job when I fire you.
额 好吧
Yeah, right.
-准备 -是
– Get ready. – Yeah.
给我杯鸡尾酒
Hey. Bring me a martini.
微甜 不加冰 外加3颗橄榄
Extra dry, straight up, three olives.
-快去快回 -她不在这儿工作 尼基
– And hurry back. – She doesn’t work here, Nikki.
所以她有时间嘛
Then she’s not busy.
20分钟后回来
Twenty minutes and we’re back.
你妈妈没跟你说过盯着人看不礼貌吗
Your mama tell you it’s not polite to stare?
你真心漂亮 我…
You’re just so damn beautiful, I…
那样的话 怪你妈妈吧 别看了
Well, in that case, screw your mama and stare away.
没人会知道
No one would ever know.
知道什么
Know what?
你是个男人
That you’re a dude.
-天 -我能用这个吗
– God. – Can I use this?
讨厌 没碰我东西
Goddamn it! Don’t touch my stuff!
服务员
Hey, waitress!
宝贝 过来
Sweetheart? Hey, over here.
稍等
One second.
-女士们 -我要杯伏特加
– Ladies? – I’ll have a vodka.
你需要什么
What can I get you?
一杯龙舌兰酒
One shot of Patron…
那边戴帽子的硬汉要杯鸡尾酒
…and tough guy with the hat over there, he wants a Cosmo.
-你干什么啊 -就一晚上
– What are you doing? – One night.
要是我没那些乳♥房♥♥当脑使的人干得好
If I’m not better than boobs-for-brains over there,
你就不用付我钱
you don’t have to pay me.
那不是后台那个女孩吗
Isn’t that the girl that was backstage?
我想是的
I think so.
杰克 她在这儿做什么
Hey, Jack, what’s she doing here?
她很想要一份工作
She really wanted a job.
所以她是我们新的服务员了
And so she is our new waitress.
我什么时候让你负责招人
And when did I make you head of personnel?
她就这么拿着盘子 开始工作了
She just picked up a tray, started working.
-是吗 -她叫艾丽
– Really? – Well, her name is Ali.
艾丽
Ali.
艾丽
Hey, Ali.
这样挺可爱的 但是
Look, this is cute, but come on.
提高胸部 表现出来
Push up those boobs. Got them, show them. Work them.
还有 不要再出现在我背后了
And don’t ever go behind my back again.
-是 夫人 -别叫我夫人
– Yes, ma’am. – And don’t ever call me ma’am again.
是 先生 夫人 苔丝
Yes, sir. I mean ma’am. I mean Tess.
去忙吧
Get on the floor.
“夫人”
“Ma’am”?
我是孩子他娘吗
What am I, my mother?
是 夫人
Yes, ma’am.
去你的
Up yours.
你好
Excuse me.
一杯帝王威士忌 一瓶这儿最好的香槟
Dewar’s rocks and a bottle of your best champagne.
你能告诉尼基我在这儿吗
Oh, and will you tell Nikki that I’m here?
你是
And you are…?
91年加入的会员
A member since ’91.
马库斯·戈伯 你是
Marcus Gerber. And you are?
-艾丽 -艾丽
– Ali. – Ali.
我来了
I’m here.
你迟到了 那么重要的约定你迟到了
You’re late, you’re late for a very important date.
乔治娜代你出场了
Georgia went on for you.
那个服务员在这里干嘛 我要她消失
What is that waitress doing here? I want that bitch out now.
她对你做了什么
What did she ever do to you?
她说我看上去像女装打扮的男人
She told me I look like a drag queen.
人家肯定不是第一次这么说你了
Can’t be the first time.
聚光灯准备好
Get my spot.
尼基 你干什么呢
Nikki, what are you doing?
艾丽 艾丽
Ali. Ali.
艾丽 艾丽 你需要什么
Ali. Ali. What do you need?
帝王威士忌 一瓶…
Dewar’s rocks, bottle of Dom…
香槟 又来了
Dom…and keep it coming.
恩 他是常客吧
Yep. So he’s a regular, huh?
马库斯·戈伯 搞房♥地♥产♥的
Marcus Gerber, real estate guy.
这整个星期都在约尼基
Dating Nikki. This week at least.
我想上台表演 我想表演
I wanna be up there. I wanna do that.
问题是
Question is…
-你有天赋吗 -我有
– …do you have the talent? – I do.
-你确定 -是
– Are you sure? – Yes.
-真的 -真的
– Positive? – Yeah.
很好 因为你已经在这里了
Good, because you’re on.
我结交了一名牙医
I got a dentist
他身高高于两米
Who’s over seven feet tall
我结交了一名牙医
Ooh, I’ve got a dentist, baby
他身高高于两米
The man is over seven feet tall
他的名字叫龙津威先生 [普通威士忌的一种]
His name is Dr. Long John
他回答
And he answers
每一个电♥话♥
Every call
这简单
It’s simple.
我承担你的所有债务
I assume all your financial obligations…
你放弃职位
…buy you out…
从总收入中拿出一百万付给你
…pay you a million right off the top.
分两笔 各50万
Five hundred each.
不是说合伙经营吗
Where is the partnership that?
你说过我们合伙经营
You said there was gonna be a partnership.
合伙经营怎么样
How about a partnership?
合伙经营不太适合我
Partnerships don’t really work so well with me.
-这比交易 -很慷慨
– And that deal is… – Very generous.
那就好 通常我的最终报价高于别人
Good. Because I lead with my final offer.
不是我屌♥
Not that I give a shit,
但你为什么非要我的酒吧呢
but why is it that you want my club so badly?
我喜欢
I like it.
我看到喜欢的东西 我就要得到它
I see something I like, I have to have it.
我从小就这样
Since I was a kid.
那你玩沙坑一定很受欢迎
That must have made you very popular in the sandbox.
我玩得还行
I did okay.
你知道你能用那笔钱做什么吗 苔丝
You know what you could do with that money, Tess?
你知道你能用那笔钱做什么吗 文斯