冒牌天神（2003）

Prayers, prayers, OK.
祷告者们 祷告者们 好的 祷告者们
This creepy whisper thing has to end.
这些声音令我难受!
Organization. That’s what I need.
我需要的是有组织的 可以方便管理
I need a system. Something concrete. Concentrate.
一个系统 有点实体化 集中精神
Files. Let all prayers be organized into files.
文件形式 把所有的祷告组织成文件形式
That takes care of the voices. Not exactly a space-saver, though.
我到哪里去照看那些声音呢 还有这占了太多的空间
Grace might notice.
格雷斯会发觉的
I know. Prayer Post-its!
我知道了 用便签!
OK, I need something with a lock. Security. Combination. A password.
我需要能具有锁上的 有安全保障 还有密♥码♥功能
A password.
密♥码♥!
Welcome to the revelation superhighway.
欢迎参观革命性的祷告方式
We bless, no mess. Downloading now.
我们保证不会有遗漏 下载…开始
It’s good.
不错 不错
This is going to take a while.
这要花点时间
1,527,503 prayer requests?
1,527,503个祷告请求?
I better manifest some coffee.
我能喝点咖啡吗?
Now that’s fresh, mountain-grown coffee from the hills of Colombia.
这是来之哥伦比亚山区的新鲜咖啡!
Good.
味道真不错
OK, I had to have made some kind of a dent by now.
好的 我终于做完了
Oh, come on!
啊 别这样!
What a bunch of whiners. This is going to suck up my whole life.
你们这些作者怎么了? 这样会用掉我一生的
You know what?
你懂什么?
Yes. To all.
同意! 给所有人!
Yeah. There you go. Now everybody’s happy.
是的 我们搞掂了 现在大家都开心了
I’ll drink to that. My tech stocks tripled in five days.
我告诉过你吗? 我的股票5天涨了3倍
Know something, Joe? You seem taller.
你知道吗 乔? 你看上去长高了
I am. My daughter pitched a nohitter.
我确实是 我女儿不做击球员了
I lost 47 pounds on the Krispy Kreme diet.
我只吃饼干就减了47磅
There he is!
嗨 他来了
The man of the hour!
今天的主角
Bless you! Bless all of you!
保佑你们 保佑你们所有人
Be fruitful and… do long division or something!
有成就 在某些事上表现的不平凡
Try that. It’s an excellent year.
品尝下 今年真是非凡的一年
Bruce! Who do you like in the game tonight?
嗨 布鲁斯! 你喜欢今天的游戏吗?
I like the Sabres. Coach prays a lot.
我希望赛布勒斯能赢!
This is Bruce, Grace and Sam. Leave a message.
这是布鲁斯 格雷斯和萨姆 请留下口信
Grace? Are you there?
格雷斯? 你在吗?
Hello? It’s me.
在吗? 是我
Come on, Grace. Come to the party.
别这样 格雷斯 来参加晚会
I’ll call you later, OK?
我待会再给你电♥话♥ 好吗?
Come on, Sam.
快点 萨姆
Help me out here.
帮下我
Sam, don’t. Come on.
萨姆 别这样!
Tell me. If I do, it might not come true.
告诉我 你想要什么?
What is it you want, Mary? You want the moon?
你想要什么 玛丽? 你想要月亮吗?
Say the word and I’ll throw a lasso around it and pull it down.
说呀 我会把它扯下来的
H.ey, that’s a pretty good idea. I’ll give you the moon, Mary.
这是个好主意 我给你月亮 好吗?
I’ll take it.
我会拿到的
Then what? Then you could swallow it.
然后呢? 然后你就可以吃了它
And it’d all dissolve.
最后就没了 明白?
Moonbeams would shoot out of your fingers and toes
然后月光就会从你的手指 你的脚趾射出来
and the ends of your hair.
还有从你的头发上出来
This is Bruce, Grace and Sam.
这是布鲁斯 格雷斯和萨姆…
Hi, Bruce.
你好 布鲁斯
What are you doing in here all alone?
你一个人在这里做什么?
Oh, I was just going to…
我只是…
I mean…
我是说…
I was going to give Grace a call.
我只是…等格雷斯的电♥话♥
Yeah, I didn’t see her. So how are you and Grace doing?
是的 在那边我没有见到她 你和格雷斯相处得如何?
Well, actually, we had a bit of a fight.
实际上 我和她刚刚有个争执
Kind of. I’m not sure if she’s…
某种…过火
You’re on fire, Bruce.
想要有点激♥情♥嘛 布鲁斯?
Some women can’t handle fire.
这里的某个女人可以帮你来点激♥情♥
Some can.
那么一点点
That’s interesting, cos I never thought we would ever talk…
这真有趣 因为我认为我们从来没有交谈…
You might want to stop touching me now.
你现在可不可以不碰我
Grace, come here!
格雷斯 过来
This is weird. I was just calling you.
这太怪了 我当时正在给你电♥话♥…
And you thought Susan’s mouth was the phone?
啊 你以为苏珊的嘴是电♥话♥吗?
She kissed me. I’m the kissee.
是她吻我 我是被吻的
You were putting up a big fight.
啊 我看到你极力抗拒了
I tried to stop her, but she’s really strong.
我想阻止她 她太强壮了
OK, I screwed up. Can I make it up to you?
好了! 我被人算计了 你要我给你什么补偿?
Yeah. Why don’t you get me a boat?
啊是了…你给我一艘船吧 布鲁斯?
What? A big boat.
什么? 是的 一艘大船
And maybe two big bags of cash.
或者两大箱现金
Then, then, I’ll be happy.
那我就会开心了
Lots of money and lots of stuff!
许多的钱和许多的东西
People want crap like getting married or having babies with the man they love.
其他人有那种白♥痴♥的想法 想和她相爱5年的生孩子
But not me, Bruce. Just give me the boat.
但我不是 布鲁斯! 给我那船
No wonder you stayed single!
你为什么还不想结婚!
Don’t do this. I’m not doing this. I’m undoing it.
格雷斯 别这样! 我没有那样做 我什么也没做
I’ll be at Debbie’s. Take care of Sam until I make arrangements.
我要去黛比那里 像我平时那样 照顾萨姆
You can’t leave me.
你不能离开我
I’m the Alpha, lady!
我是第一 宝贝
I’m the Omega, baby!
我是造物者 宝贝!
Fine! I don’t need you!
好吧 没事! 我不需要你
What’s the matter, Bruce? She can’t handle a little competition?
怎么啦 布鲁斯? 她无法应付一点点竞争吗?
Game’s been called on account of rain.
晚会由于下雨而取消
An unusually high number of lottery winners has officials concerned.
不同寻常多的彩票中奖人数 令组织者关注
So far, 1, 100 winning tickets have been turned in,
超过一万一千人中奖
all, strangely, from the Buffalo area.
非常奇怪的是 都在水牛镇地区
More on this story as it develops.
随着情况的发展 会有进一步的报道
Enjoying your party?
喜欢这个晚会吗?
Nothing like spending quality time with great friends.
没有什么比和高贵的朋友共度时光更好的了
Grace left me. Yeah, I know.
格雷斯离开我了 我知道
She’ll take me back.
她会要我回去的
She’ll take me back, right? Would you take you back?
她会要我回去的 对吗? 你想要她回来吗?
How do you make somebody love you without affecting free will?
你如何才能让别人爱你 却不用影响别人的选择?
Welcome to my world, son.
欢迎来到我的世界 孩子
You come up with an answer to that one, you let me know.
如果你对在这种事上找到了答案 请告诉我
Rise and shine, Buffalo.
水牛镇阳光明媚的一天
It’s 70 and sunny and the perfect day to forgive Bruce.
是原谅布鲁斯的最完美的日子
Bye. Have fun.
再见 玩的愉快
Hi. Can I get a small coffee to go? Sure, hon. Just a sec.
你好 能给我一小杯咖啡吗? 好的 宝贝 等一会
K-Tel Records brings you the 100 greatest love songs of all time.
K-TEL唱片公♥司♥奉献古今100首情歌♥
You’ll hear such classics as “All You Need Is Bruce”,
你想听这些经典情歌♥ 只需要布鲁斯
“If You Can’t Be With The One You Love, Then Love Bruce”,
如果你还没找到你的所爱 那么就爱布鲁斯吧
“Do That To Bruce One More Time”.
和布鲁斯再来一次
Who can forget that classic,
而谁又能忘记这些经典之作呢?
“Bruce So H.orny (H.e Love You Long Time)”?
布鲁斯很性感! 他一直爱着你
Order today and we’ll throw in at no extra charge
今天就订购 附送没有额外的费用的
the video “Sweatin’ To Bruce”.
和布鲁斯一起疯狂
Just dial 1-900-FORGIVE H.IM.
只要拨♥打♥ 19004 give him(1900原谅他)
That’s 1-900-FORGIVE H.IM. Do it now.
就是19004 give him(1900原谅他) 现在就行动
No, no! Please don’t put that in your mouth.
不 不 不要把那放进嘴里
That’s not food.
不要吃那东西
Go to the bathroom. Wash out your mouth. Wash off your hands.
啊 这不好 去洗手间 清洗下你得嘴和双手
That kid is gonna poop an ornament.
上帝呀 什么都敢吃
One more time, you’re going to be in a lot of trouble.
再来一次的话 你就会有大♥麻♥烦!
All right, that’s it!
好了! 这就是 这就是
I surrender!
我投降 我投降!
Hi.
嗨!
I’m… doing my first anchor tonight.
我将…今晚将第一次做主持人
Oh, wow. That’s great!
哇! 太好了!
How have you been doing? Good.
你怎么想? 很好
Debbie won the lottery. Oh, yeah? You’re kidding.
啊 黛比中了彩票 啊 是吗?
But so did 400,000 other people, so she only won like $17 or something.
他和40万人一起中了奖 所以她只得到17元
I miss you.
我想念你
I took a first step.
好的 我主动点