冒牌天神（2003）

and that’s the way the cookie crumbles.
曲奇… 是这样吃的
Did you like that?
你觉得怎么样?
Thank you, thank you.
谢谢 谢谢!
Hi, Bruce. Hi, Susan.
嗨 布鲁斯 嗨 苏姗
Good work. I’m impressed.
干得好 你令我刮目相看
Did you need me for something? Bruce!
杰克 要我做点什么事吗? 布鲁斯 布鲁斯!
Just the man I want to see.
我正要找你
Hoffa? What are the odds of that? What are the odds of that?
霍夫曼…那事的反应如何? 什么是…什么反应如何…
Bruce, why don’t you sit down? OK.
布鲁斯 请坐 好的
I’m going to be straight with you. We want you back, Bruce.
我打算开门见山地和你谈谈 我们想要你回来 布鲁斯
But I want you to understand it was not my decision to let you go.
但我想要你明白的是 炒你鱿鱼的决定不是我做的
When the big guy gives the order… No harm, no foul.
是幕后的大人物下的命令 你知道的… 不用拥抱 不用道歉
I needed to reassess my goals and get in touch with my true self.
我需要时间重新设定我真正想做的事
You did that in a day? Imagine what I could do with seven.
给你一天节目时间 如何? 我想我有能力做7天的
It is not in my power to give you anchor.
你知道的 布鲁斯 我没有权力给你主持人的职位
As far as field reporting goes, if you’re looking for a bump…
只需要继续有新闻 如果你想得到升迁
Let’s cut the crap and get down to brass tacks.
杰克 我们废话少说 我们开诚布公吧
I had you going.
你 看你的样子
Don’t worry about it, my old friend.
别担心 老朋友
Just give me a camera. I’ll give you the news.
只要你给我摄像机 杰克 我会给你新闻的
My secret is that I let the jalapenos marinate in a spicy sauce
我的秘诀是就在于可以把特殊的味道融入到
for at least 24 hours before I stir it into the chilli.
一种非常美味的菜汁中 然后等24小时后 我才开始制♥作♥
Then I let it all come to a simmer.
我将所有的东西都放在一个锅里…
Hold that thought. It seems as if an asteroid or meteorite
留在这里 夫人 你们看到了吗? 一个小行星 或是某种陨星
has just hit ground right outside the Mark Twain Chilli Cook-Off!
刚刚坠落地面 就在…马克吐温市场美食节现场外面
This should certainly spice things up a bit!
这将是你见过得最热辣的东西
His stories are all over town.
这是全城的历史时刻
From unearthing Hoffa
自从发现了吉米·霍夫曼
..to a meteor crashing,
到流星的坠落
..Bruce Nolan is rapidly becoming known as…
布鲁斯·诺兰 已经成为了 独家新闻先生
And that’s the way the cookie crumbles!
水牛镇曲奇就是这样制成的!
This was Bruce’s idea?
这是布鲁斯的主意吗?
He wanted me to have a day of beauty and luxurious serenity.
他说要我做一整天的美容 豪华而舒适
I got to tell you, he is impressing me lately.
我要告诉你 最近他令我刮目相看
Know where he’s taking me to dinner?
你知道他今天要带我去哪里共进晚餐?
Where?
去哪里?
The Blue Palm?
蓝棕榈饭店?
My gosh, I got chills. I know.
啊我的天 他抓住你 我知道…
He told me to prepare for the most memorable night of our lives.
他说 为你一生都会记住的一晚 做好准备
Oh, my gosh. He’s going to propose.
我的老天 格雷斯 他想求婚了
Oh, stop it. No. He’s…
别说了…
Really? Yeah, really.
真的? 是的 别这样
Do the math. He sends you all day to a beauty spa,
你想想 他让你来美容院一整天
he’s taking you to a restaurant where you had your first date. Hello!
你们去那间本城最浪漫的饭店 你们第一次见面就在那里
I never thought I’d say this, but Bruce is right.
我认为将这个说成一次求婚是不正确的
This is your night. Relax and enjoy it.
这是重要的一晚上 让我们好好享受!
Oh, God.
老天呀
Welcome to Eyewitness News at Six, with Susan Ortega,
欢迎收看6点钟新闻 主持人包括苏珊·奥尔特加
Evan Baxter,
埃文·巴克斯特
Fred Donohue, sports,Dallas Coleman, weather.
佛瑞德…体育节目 达拉斯·科尔曼…时事
And now, Buffalo’s number one news team.
现在 这里是水牛镇第一新闻报道组
Welcome to Eyewitness News at Six.
晚安 欢迎收看6点钟新闻
I’m Susan Ortega. I’m Evan Baxter.
我是苏珊.奥尔特加 我是埃文·巴克斯特
Here’s what’s making news.
今天的新闻是
A potential scandal with the Buffalo PD surfaced today,
令人怀疑的水牛镇警方丑闻
when the mayor demanded that…
当市长…
When the mayor demanded the chief of…
当市长…
Issued a response to…
对不起
I seem to have something stuck in my…
有东西噎住了了
Get him some water.
给他点水喝
Looks like my new co-anchor may need water.
看起来 我的搭档需要杯水
There we go. Sorry.
好了 对刚才的事很抱歉
In other news, the prime minister of Sweden visited Washington today,
另一条新闻是 瑞典首相今天访问华盛顿
and my tiny little nipples went to France.
还有我的小情人去了法国
What did he say? Check the prompter.
他在胡说什么? 检查下电子提示器
The prompter’s fine. Evan, read the copy.
提示器是好的 埃文 请跟着文本读
The copy’s good. Just read it.
文本没有问题 照着读
The White House committee greeted the prime rib roast minister,
白宫会议通过了首相的提议
and I do the cha-cha like a sissy girl.
还有我像个女人般地跳喳喳舞
I lika do…
我喜欢…跳…
da cha-cha.
喳喳舞
I’m sorry. We seem to be having technical difficulties.
抱歉 看起来我们好像有点技术问题
In other news…
另一条新闻是
My apologies.
对不起
May I? Certainly.
可以吗? 当然
It’s perfect. She’ll love it.
太完美了 她应该会喜欢的
You know, I was going to wait until after the meal,
你知道吗? 我将…我终于扬眉吐气了
but it’ll burst out of me like an alien if I don’t do it now.
他们再也不能把我当白♥痴♥了 我不会让他们这么做的了
Oh, my God. OK.
老天 没事的
This is it, isn’t it?
会发生什么事?
I don’t know if I’m ready for this.
我不知道 我还没准备好
I mean, I’m ready. I just didn’t know if I would… I’m sorry, go on.
我不是说我还没准备好 我只是有点紧张 对不起 继续说
I didn’t know it was so important to you. Me neither.
我不知道这对你会有多重要 我也不知道
Grace? Yes?
格雷斯 好的
I got anchor.
我成为主持人了
No.
噢…
Yes. Apparently it wasn’t working out with Evan,
是的 他们要辞掉埃文
so he’s going to finish out the week and I go live on Monday.
这周他就要走人 星期一我就要上任了
That’s great, honey. I know, I know.
太好了 亲爱的 我知道
Well…
那么…
So that’s what this is all about. Well, yeah.
就是为了这些事情吗? 是的
We got anchor.
格雷斯 我是主持人了
Jack’s throwing me a party at the Vanderbilt estate to celebrate.
杰克星期五要凯歌♥晚会为我庆祝
What’s the matter? Nothing.
怎么了? 没事
Now I lay me down to sleep…
我现在只想躺下睡觉
I feel stupid.
啊 我多笨呀
It is loud in here, isn’t it? No, it’s not loud.
啊 这里太吵了 不是吗? 不 这里不吵
Jeez! Can you keep it down to a dull roar?
你们能小声点吗?
Thank you! Is that supposed to be funny?
谢谢! 这很搞笑吗?
Cos that is not funny.
这一点都不搞笑
What did you say? What is wrong with you? Stop yelling.
你在说什么? 你怎么了? 不要叫嚷
If you’ll excuse me, I’ll take a little trip to the…
对不起 我要出去…
The wine is going right through me.
那酒的作用 我有点醉了
I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.
对不起 真得很抱歉
Keep going, Tony! Oh, God.
继续 托尼! 你很棒! 噢 上帝!
What is going on here?
怎么了?
What is this?
这是怎么回事?
Give me a break!
别来烦我!
Really something, isn’t it?
非常吵杂 是不是?
Is this heaven?
这里是天堂吗?
No, this is Mount Everest.
不是 这是珠穆朗玛峰
Flip on the Discovery Channel from time to time.
你应该经常在探索频道看到过
But I guess you can’t now, being dead and all.
但我想你现在无法看到了 你已经死了
I’m dead? I’m just messing with you.
我死了吗? 没有 只想忽悠你一下
That’s not funny, man!
那并不好笑 伙计!
What about the voices in my head? Is that part of the hilarity?
我脑子里的声音是怎么回事? 这也是笑话的一部分?
No, those are prayers. You keep ignoring them,
那些是祷告的人 你不断地忽视他们
they’re going to build up.
他们就集聚在你的头脑中
But it’s just noise. I can’t understand them.
那些只是些噪音 我无法弄明白的噪音
You’re not listening, son.
是你没有留心听 孩子
Let’s see.
我们来看看吧
You had my powers for a little over a week. How many people have you helped?
你拥有我能力的有一周了 你已帮助了多少人?
I took care of a few things.
我 我照管你的事情
I righted a few wrongs in my own life first. OK?
无论这是对失错 我得先管好自己的事 这排第一 行吧?
I was going to help the others.
然后我才会去帮助别人
I think I could help the world. The world?
我想我有能力帮助全世界 全世界?
That wasn’t the world. That was just Buffalo, between 57th and Commonwealth.
不用管全世界 只是水牛镇 在57条街道之间的众生
I didn’t want to start you off with more than you could handle.
我只能给你 你的能力所及的工作给你
You took the job, Bruce, so I suggest you get to it.
既然你领了工作 我建议你开始工作吧
Seeing him smile would make me so happy.
看到他的微笑会让我高兴万分