冒牌天神（2003）

I’ll hold you to it.
等你哦
I’m free on the 7th at 7.00.
7点我有空 7点!
The 7th at 7.00 it is.
7点就7点吧
This looks promising.
他很守信用啊
Hello?
有人吗!
Another hug antic, gnostic waste of my life.
这样浪费我的时间真有创意
Hello?
有人吗?
I’m looking for whoever runs this joint!
你是这里的头头吗?
Be right with you. I’m fixing a light.
就来 我在修灯
Tell me if it’s working.
帮我看看修好了没
Yeah. Seems to be.
是的 好象是修好了
Kind of bright, though. Yeah. It is for most people.
不过有点刺眼 是的 大多数人都是这样…
Spend their lives in the dark, trying to hide from me.
在黑暗里度过一生… 想要躲开我
The elevator’s broken, huh?
电梯不是坏了吗?
Yeah, but I’ll get around to it.
对 不过… 我会修好的
You installed a clapper? No, but catchy jingle, isn’t it?
你装了声控装置? 没有… 不过那首广♥告♥曲很好玩对吧?
Clap on, clap off
“拍手打开…拍手关闭…”
The clapper
啪啪牌声控
Just can’t get it out of my head.
绕梁三日啊
Well, good luck with that.
那么祝你好运…
I’m going to go now. OK.
现在我要走了 好吧
But the boss will be right out.
老板马上就来了
You must be Bruce. I’ve been expecting you.
你一定是布鲁斯 我一直在等你
This is hilarious.
有意思…
You’re the boss, electrician and janitor.
你是老板 又是电工 还是清洁工?
Must be a killer Christmas party.
这一定是疯狂圣诞派对?
Don’t get drunk, though. One of you might need a ride home.
那别喝醉了哦… 要我送你回去嘛?
You always were funny, Bruce. Just like your father.
你总是很会逗人开心 布鲁斯 和你父亲一样
He didn’t mind rolling up his sleeves either.
他也不介意卷起袖子干活
People underestimate the benefit of manual labor. There’s freedom in it.
人们常常会低估体力劳动的好处
Some of the happiest people smell to
那些工作一天后回到家里 满身汗臭的人们
high heaven at the end of the day.
他们才是世界上最幸福的人
All right, what is this?
这是怎么回事?
How do you know my father
我自己都不认识我父亲 你是怎么认识的?
and how did you get my number?
还有 你是怎么知道我的呼机号♥的?
I know a lot about you, Bruce.
我知道你的事情可多了… 布鲁斯
Just about everything there is to know.
不是每件事情都说得出原因的
Everything you’ve ever said or done or thought about doing.
你说过的每一句话 做过的每一件事 心中转过的每一个念头
Right there in that file cabinet.
都在那个文件柜里
Wow! A whole drawer, just for me. Yeah.
喔… 我的整柜人生吗? 对
Mind if I take a look?
我可以看一下吗?
It’s your life.
这是你的生活
This oughta be good.
听上去不错…
This last entry was a little disturbing.
最后一笔记录有点烦人.
“The gloves are off, God.”
“手链脱掉了 上帝…”
“God has taken my bird and my bush.”
“上帝把我的鸟和我的林都抢走了”
“God is a mean kid with a magnifying glass.”
“上帝是个拿着放大镜的坏小孩”
“Smite me, O mighty smiter.”
“毁灭我吧 万能的毁灭者”
I’m not much for blaspheming, but that last one made me laugh.
我不怎么支持亵渎神灵 不过最后这条记录让我捧腹
Are you spying on me?
你监视我?
Who are you?
你是谁?
I am the One.
我就是那个人
Creator of the heavens and the earth. Alpha and Omega.
我创造了天与地… 以及世间的一切
I see where this is going.
噢… 我明白这是怎么回事了
Bruce… I am God.
布鲁斯 我是上帝!
Bingo! Yahtzee!
猜中了! 对呀!
Is that your final answer? Our survey says, “God!”
这是你的最终答案吗? 答案是… 上帝!
It was nice to meet you, God.
很高兴认识你 上帝
Thanks for the Grand Canyon. Good luck with the Apocalypse.
谢谢你创造了大峡谷 希望你世界末日那天平安无事
And by the way, you suck!
顺便说一句… 你太失败了!
It would have been more impressive
如果你不用这个蹩脚的柜子当道具
if you hadn’t used the cheesy file cabinet illusion.
你的表演会显得更真实一些
Anybody with a brain stem can tell that drawer
只要是有脑子的人都看得出来
is being fed through the wall from the other side.
这个柜子是从墙的反面弹出来的
All you have to do is find the crease right around here.
我只需要找到这条缝…
There is a seam here, or a hollow spot.
就在这里… 只要找到空心的地方
Where?
在哪里?
Through the dry wall and concrete?
隔着墙和砖的那一面吗?
OK, that is a good one.
很了不起! 真的很了不起!
How many fingers am I holding up? Thou shalt not tempt the Lord.
好… 猜我伸出了几只手指? 布鲁斯 决不要让上帝…
If you can’t do it… Three.
猜不出也没什么的… 3!
OK.
好…
How many now?
现在呢?
How? You’ve been complaining about me.
怎么会… 你总是对我抱怨个不停 布鲁斯
I’m tired of it. Don’t come near me. Seriously.
说实话 我快要受不了了 等等 别靠近我 说真的
I don’t want to hurt you,
我被逼急了会变成只野兽的 我不想伤害到你
but I will out of instinct.
但这是我的本能
You haven’t won a fight since grade 5, and that was against a girl.
你最后一次打架是在五年级 和一个女生…
But she was huge. She’d been held back.
但她很壮… 最后退却的也是她
And the sun was in your eyes.
你眼中的有的是太阳
Ah, the ego.
而不是妄自菲薄
Anyway, I brought you here to offer you a job.
不管怎么说 让你来这里是有工作要给你做
A job? What job? My job.
工作… 什么工作? 我的工作
You think you can do it better, so here’s your chance.
既然你觉得你可以做得更好 我就给你这个机会
When you leave this building, you will be endowed with all my powers.
当你离开这座大楼的时候 你会拥有我所有的神力
Sure. Whatever you say, pal.
没问题 随你怎么说了 兄台
OK. That did not happen. No one needs to hear about it.
好了 什么都没发生过 没有人会知道这个
I’m deleting the program.
除非我在节目中报道
No.
不… 不…
I’m having a breakdown.
这是我的幻觉 我的精神状况一团糟
Everyday psychotic episode, caused by a tumor, a brain lesion.
这很正常… 心理作用 由肿瘤压♥迫♥大脑产生的幻觉
Come on. Start!
快… 发动!
That was lucky.
碰巧走运而已
Come on. Calm down.
拜托… 冷静下来
You did not meet God. You do not have his powers.
你不是上帝… 你也没有神力
If that was God, I’m Clint Eastwood.
如果他是上帝 我就是克林特·伊斯特伍德
Holy hell!
天啊!
Be careful what you wish for, punk.
小心别许错了愿哦… 笨蛋!
Nope!
不! 不!
I am a reasonable, sane human being.
我是个理智的人类!
With a .44 Magnum.
点44左轮…
The most powerful handgun in the…
世界上威力最强的手♥枪♥
I’m not Clint Eastwood. I’m Bruce Nolan.
我不是克林特·伊斯特伍德… 我是布鲁斯·诺兰!
I’m Bruce Nolan!
布鲁斯·诺兰… 布鲁斯·诺兰
That was not real.
这不是真的…
Coffee? Coffee, yeah.
要咖啡吗? 好… 咖啡… 好
We have a special on soup today.
我们今天有特色汤点
No, thank you. It’s tomato. I made it myself.
不用 够了 谢谢… 是番茄汤 我亲手做的哦
OK.
好的
Excuse me, I need a spoo-…
对不起… 我要只勺…子
It’s OK. I found one.
不需要了 我找到了一只
Here’s your soup.
你的汤来了
Oh, soup, right.
噢… 汤… 好的…
Yeah, right.
好的…
Having fun?
很好玩吧?
Thy, thou…
你…
Come. Take a closer walk with me.
来 我们出去走走
Let me explain the rules. Rules?
我来解释一下规则 规则?
You left in such a rush, I didn’t get a chance to explain.
是啊 你走得太快了 我还没来得及解释呢
The two extra fingers freaked me out a little.
突然多出两只手指 吓得我要死
I figured I’d get your attention.
我只是想引起你的注意
I did the same to Gandhi. He didn’t eat for three weeks.
我对甘地也这么做过… 他为此绝食了三个星期
Anyway, here’s the deal.
总之… 听好了
You have all my powers. Use them any way you choose.
你有我所有的神力 你可以以你选择的方式任意使用
There are two rules. You can’t tell anybody you’re God.
只有两条规则 你不能告诉任何人你是上帝
Believe me, you don’t want the attention. And you can’t mess with free will.
相信我 你会为之后悔的 而且你不能干涉自主意志
Can I ask why? Yes! You can!
我可以问为什么吗? 可以!
That’s the beauty of it.
这正是它的动人之处!
This is amazing. Speaking of amazing, excuse me.
这太神奇了 说到神奇… 让让
Holy sh-… Cow.
王八… 牛啊!