单身日记：好孕来袭

五月九日
生日 老天啊
♪ 祝我生日快乐 祝我生日快乐 ♪
♪ Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me. ♪
我怎么又落得这个下场
How in hell did I end up here again..
滚一边去
Fuck off.
BJ单身日记3
好孕来袭
12小时前…
今年的生日和往年生日的开始一样
My birthday actually began the way of all my birthdays.
亲爱的 我打来祝你生日快乐
Hello darling. Just ringing to wish you a happy birthday.
妈妈 现在是早上6点
Mom? It’s six a.m.
我在用视频通话 乌娜教我的 太好玩了
I’m doing the FaceTime. Una taught me. It’s really marvellous.
妈妈 视频通话的意义
Mum, the point of FaceTime is
就是不用把手♥机♥拿到耳朵旁边
that you haven’t got to put the phone to your ear.
我错了 你在这里啊
Oh, please.. Oh, there you are.
43年前的这个时候
This time, 43 years ago…
我正在吃印度比尔亚尼羊肉饭
I was having a lamb beriyami
努力把你生出来
in an attempt to coax you out.
生了23小时 下面彻底变形了
23 hours of labour. Never been the same down there.
-生孩子就是个奇迹 -又来了
– It’s a miracle, the gift of childbirth. – Here it comes.
佩妮·赫斯本德-彭斯沃思的儿子在网上卖♥♥精♥子♥
Penny Husband-Bosworth’s son sells his sperm on the internet.
现在都不需要男人了 布丽姬特
You don’t need a man, Bridget.
没有男人 有些人也过得很好 比如你
Some people have marvellous lives without them. Look at you.
公♥寓♥不错 工作也好
Nice flat, lovely job…
-公♥寓♥不错… -我要挂断了 妈妈
– Nice flat… – I’m putting the phone down now, mum.
快祝布丽姬特生日快乐 科林
Say happy birthday to Bridget. Colin?
祝布丽姬特生日快乐
Happy birthday to Bridget.
谢谢
Thank you.
我爱你 亲爱的 别忘了
I love you darling. Now don’t forget…
我的媒体竞选就靠你了
I’m counting on you to head up my media campaign.
只是教区议会选举 妈妈 不是美国总统初选
It’s the parish council elections, mum. Not the US primaries.
妈妈每年必来的电♥话♥
Annual phone call from mum
提醒着我要让卵巢重出江湖了
reminding me to take my ovaries out of retirement.
事实是 到现在为止
The truth was that by now
我以为我应该已经和我外表英俊的挚爱
I thought I would have had a little baby to love
有了一个可爱的孩子
with the chisel jawed love of my life.
但有时生活只会给你更浅薄些的补偿
But sometimes life gives you shallower compensations
至少我终于瘦到了理想体重
and at least I was finally down to my perfect weight.
早安 布丽姬特女士
Good morning, Ms. Bridget.
你今天还是很美
You look beautiful again today.
我这个大妈还充满生机
There was life in the old dog yet.
还没到退休的那天呢
Haven’t exactly been put out to grass.
叮咚 有帅哥在瞄我
Hah! Ding dong..
但今年 让这一切变得更加急迫的
But this year all these things were brought into sharper focus…
是一项我还没准备好参加的仪式
by an event I hadn’t expected to attend quite so soon.
你感觉如何 还好吗
So how are you feeling? Are you OK?
还好
Yeah.
我还是不敢相信他已经走了
I just can’t believe he’s gone, really.
他的死好像对于
His death seems to have hit the eastern European
东欧的嫩模群体是一记重击
teenage modelling community particularly hard.
他们找到了飞行记录仪 但没找到尸体
They found the flight recorder but still no bodies.
他应该死在灌木丛[女性下♥体♥]里才合理
Strangely fitting that he should have died going down in the bush.
我们相聚在此 一同悼念
We are gathered here to celebrate the life…
丹尼尔·薇薇安·克利弗的逝去
of Daniel Vivian Cleaver.
丹尼尔是一位善良的好儿子…
Daniel was a kind and wonderful son…
该死 他来做什么
Fuck. What the fuck is he doing here?
你也知道他那个人 面子工夫做得很足
You know what he’s like, wanting to do the decent thing.
那是他的妻子吗
Is that his wife?
我对失去达西先生释怀了吗
Did I ever get over losing Mr. Darcy?
他是我的真命天子吗
Was he my Mr. Right?
见鬼
Oh Christ.
一位具有非凡魅力与气质的人
A man of outstanding charm and charisma.
-有点伤感 -我想邀请他爱的人上来
– Just a bit emotional. – I would like to invite his loved ones up…
分享他们与丹尼尔之间的回忆
to share some of their memories of Daniel.
丹尼尔有时很多情
Daniel could be very sensitive …
让你觉得自己是这世上独一无二的女人
Make you feel like you were the only woman in the world.
我和丹尼尔在莫斯科相识
I first met Daniel in Moscow.
他曾带我在九曲湖划船
He once took me rowing on the Serpentine
-并背出济慈的诗 -他能背出济慈的诗
– and quoted Keats by heart. – He could quote Keats by heart.
你要去向何方 德文少女
Where be ye going, you Devon maid.
你的篮中装着什么
And what have you there in the basket?
你要去向何方 德文少女
Where be ye going, you Devon maid.
你的篮中装着什么
And what have you there in the basket?
你这美丽的仙女 刚从牛奶厂出来
You tight little fairy, just fresh from the dairy.
若我开口 可否给我一些奶油
Will you give me some cream if I ask it?
他对所有人都用过这招
He did it to everyone.
还有谁想说几句吗
Anybody else like to say a few words?
看在他妈妈的份上 说点吧
Say something for his mum.
去吧
Come on.
丹尼尔
Daniel was a man …
触动[摸]过今天在场的很多人 包括我
who touched many of us here today, including me.
我的天
Oh dear.
丹尼尔如果在 会说”闭嘴吧 琼斯”
This is when Daniel would say, “Shut up, Jones.”
他说得没错 因为我真正需要说的是
And he would be right, because all I really need to say is…
亲爱的丹尼尔 我会非常想念你
Dear Daniel, I will miss you terribly.
我们都会的
We all will.
-电♥话♥联♥系♥ -好的
– Give you a call? – Yes very good.
-拜 -再见
-Bye. – Bye.
-布丽姬特 -马克
– Bridget. – Mark.
-这是卡米拉 -你好
– This is Camilla. – Hello.
这位是布丽姬特 一位老朋友
Bridget, an old friend.
没那么老 童年相识而已
Well, less old, more childhood.
所以…
So…
就追悼会来说 这个还不错
Nice memorial, as memorials go.
差点让人开始期待自己的了
Almost makes one look forward to one’s own.
见鬼 别胡扯了
好吧
Yes, well…
-再见 -再见
– Goodbye. – Goodbye.
或许这就是马克·达西和我走不下去的原因
Maybe that’s the reason Mark Darcy and I never made it.
我总觉得自己是一位口无遮拦的老姑娘
I always felt like a verbally incontinent old maid,
哪怕是我们还在一起的时候
even when we were together.
但我不打算沉迷在消极的情绪里
Still, I wasn’t going to dwell on the negatives.
至少同事当中没人知道今天是我的生日
At least no-one at work knew it was my birthday.
或者我要迈入多少岁了
Or indeed, how old I was going to be.
今天43岁
惊喜吧
Surprise.
祝贺你 布丽姬特
Congratulations, Bridget.
或只是我一厢情愿
Or so I thought.
谁告诉你们的
Who told you?
好热啊 这么多蜡烛
It’s so hot. So many candles.
♪ 祝你43岁生日快乐 ♪
♪ Happy 43rd birthday to you! ♪
安息吧
布丽姬特·琼斯
♪ 祝你43岁生日快乐 ♪
♪ Happy 43rd birthday to you! ♪
到了一定年纪 蛋糕上的破蜡烛数量
Isn’t there some sort of statute of limitations about the
难道就不能出个法定限制吗
number of sodding candles on a cake once you get to a certain age?
乔什 你去看看
Josh, I need you to see what
路透社对拉马拉袭击的观点
Reuters is saying about the attacks on Ramallah.
可能需要现场连线 劳拉…
We might need a live link. And Laura…
我或许又老了一岁 并且还是单身
I may have been another year older and still single…
但作为顶尖新闻制♥作♥人
but I could always take
这份工作总能给我些许慰藉
consolation in my job as top news producer.
我今天要怎样改变世界
So, how will I be changing the world today?
我们的主要亮点是一个独家专访
Well, our main feature is the exclusive interview…
和外交大臣谈谈有关恩吉的问题
with the Foreign Secretary about NGochi.
-我天 你怎么发出来的 -恩吉
– Oh, gee. How did you do that? – NGochi.
-恩吉 -你很擅长啊
– NGochi. – You’re good at that.
是啊 我一直在练习 恩吉
I know. I’ve been practising. NGochi.
比想象的要难
It’s harder than you think.
而且 还有新的30多岁的同事
Plus, have great new 30 something work colleagues
不痴迷于孩子和婚姻
who are not obsessed with children and marriage.
我们今晚打算怎么庆祝
How do we plan on celebrating tonight?
和大伙一起出去玩
Well, night out with the gang.
拜托告诉我有群♥交♥吧
Please say that involves group sex.
群♥交♥ 我们求之不得