妙想天开（1985）

本来昨天就可以拆掉绷带
I’d have had this dressing off yesterday.
雪莉
Shirley.
盐？
Salt?
刚才说什么？
What were we saying?
天啊，这不是一分熟
God, this isn’t rare.
对了，我在药局看见最棒的圣诞礼物
By the by, I saw the most wonderful idea for Christmas presents at the chemist’s.
礼物代币，医疗礼物代币
Gift tokens. Medical gift tokens.
听起来很棒！
That sounds marvelous!
可在所有诊所与多数一流医院使用
It’s good at any doctor’s and most of the major hospitals.
还可用于妇科检查
It’s also accepted for gynecological examinations
包括剖腹产
including Caesarian sections.
史拜罗 – 女士，我不知道怎么回事
Spiro. -Madam, I don’t know what to say.
这里从来不曾这样，我马上处理
This never happens to us. I’m going to do something about it straightaway.
山拇 你不能解决这些恐♥怖♥份♥子♥吗？
Sam, can’t you do something about these terrorists?
现在是我的午餐时间
It’s my lunch hour.
还有，这和我部门无关
Besides, it’s not my department.
艾玛，其实我正想告诉你
Actually, Alma, that’s one of the little things I’ve been dying to tell you.
山拇升官到情报检索司了
Sam’s being promoted to Information Retrieval.
真棒！恭喜，山拇
Why, that’s wonderful! Congratulations, Sam.
不要说了，我没升官 我不会去情报检索司
Stop it! I’m not being promoted. I’m not going to Information Retrieval.
妈，如果我要让你生气 我会跟你说关你屁事
If I wanted to upset you, Mother, I’d tell you where to stick it.
胡椒？
Pepper?
我得走了
I’ve got to go.
你还没吃甜点
You haven’t had your dessert.
我不想甜点、升官或任何东西！
I don’t want dessert, promotion or anything!
你当然想要什么 你一定有希望、愿望、梦想吧？
Of course you want something. You must have hopes, wishes, dreams?
没有，就连梦想都没有
No, nothing. Not even dreams.
山拇
Sam.
山拇！
Sam!
喔，天啊！
Oh, God!
哈啰，中♥央♥服务站？
Hello. Central Services?
我住在西北D段第十久区579B
I’m at 579B, Block 19, Northwestern Section D.
绿野公路一号♥出口橙花天桥
Exit 1 on Green Pastures Highway at the Orange Blossom Flyover.
我的空调有问题，这是紧急事件
I’ve got trouble with my air conditioning. It’s an emergency.
谢谢您打电♥话♥到中♥央♥服务站 很抱歉，由于人员短缺
Thank you for calling Central Services. I’m sorry, due to staff shortages
中♥央♥服务站从晚间十一点到早上久点 无法为您服务
Central Services cannot take service calls between 2300 and 0900 hours.
祝您愉快，这并不是录音
Have a nice day. This has not been a recording.
这是紧急事件！
This is an emergency!
谢谢您打电♥话♥到中♥央♥服务站 – 我需要暖气工程师
Thank you for calling Central Services. -Look, I’ve got to have a heating engineer.
谢谢您打电♥话♥到中♥央♥服务站 – 喔，该死！
Thank you for calling Central Services. -Oh, shit!
哈啰
Hello.
哈啰 – 哈啰
Hello. -Hello.
哈啰，劳利先生
Hello, Mr. Lowry.
我是，请问哪位？
Yes, who is this?
放下电♥话♥，举起双手
Put the phone down and raise your hands.
什么？你是谁？
What? Who is this?
慢慢来
Nice and easy, now.
手放在我看得到的地方
Just keep your hands where I can see them.
你在做什么？
What are you doing?
暖气工程师哈利塔托为您服务
Harry Tuttle, heating engineer, at your service.
塔托？
Tuttle?
中♥央♥服务站派你来的？
Are you from Central Services?
我有打给中♥央♥服务站
I called Central Services.
他们最近工作过忙
They’re overworked these days.
幸运的是，我截听你的电♥话♥
Luckily, I intercepted your call.
你…
You did…
等一下，拿枪做什么？
Just a minute. What was that business with the gun?
以防万一而已
Just a precaution, sir.
之前有人设陷阱抓我
I’ve had traps set for me before now.
中♥央♥服务站很多人想逮到哈利塔托
Plenty of people in Central Services would love to get their hands on Harry Tuttle.
你是说，这是违法的？
Are you telling me that this is illegal?
是和不是
Well, yes and no.
正式来说 只有中♥央♥服务站可处理空调
Officially, only Central Services can touch this stuff.
可不可以拿着这个？
Would you hold this, please?
但是如今有了新的规定
But nowadays, with all the new rules and regulations
他们再也找不到好员工
they can’t get decent staff anymore.
只要我小心，他们睁一只眼闭一只眼
They turn a blind eye as long as I’m careful.
但是如果他们有我摸他们设备的证据
But if they could prove that I’ve been working on their equipment
那又是另一回事了
that’s a plate of a different color.
这样会不会简单点… – 拜托拿这个
Wouldn’t it be simpler just to… -Hold this, please.
抱歉，好
Sorry, yes.
我是说 为中♥央♥服务站工作会不会简单点？
I was saying, wouldn’t it be simpler to work with Central Services?
我受不了…
I couldn’t stand the…
变热了 – 你受不了什么？
It’s getting warm. -You couldn’t stand the what?
我受不了书面作业
I couldn’t stand the paperwork.
听着
Listen,
如果没填27B/6 我就不能开厨房♥水龙头
this system of yours could be on fire, and I couldn’t turn on a kitchen tap
你的空调就可能会着火
without filling out a 27B/6.
该死的书面作业
Bloody paperwork.
我想每个人都得做点书面作业
I suppose one has to expect a certain amount.
为什么？我就是喜欢修空调
Why? I came into this for the action, the excitement.
到处跑，轻装便行 有问题就过去、离开，只身行动
Go anywhere, travel light. Get in, get out, wherever there’s trouble. A man alone.
他们切割全国
They’ve got the whole country sectioned off.
没有表格就动不了
Can’t make a move without a form.
找到了，问题在那
Found it. There’s your problem.
你会修吗？ – 没办法
Can you fix it? -No, I can’t.
但是我可用这个加设旁管
But I can bypass it with one of these.
我无所谓
Fine by me.
你在等人吗？ – 没有
Are you expecting anyone? -No.
在这等一下，等等
Wait here. Wait.
手电筒
The flashlight.
中♥央♥服务站 – 中♥央♥服务站
Central Services. -Central Services.
是的 – 先生，你打过电♥话♥
Yes. -You rang, sir.
空调有问题吗？
Trouble with your air conditioning?
没有，没问题
No, it’s all right.
好了
It’s fixed.
好了？
It’s fixed?
对，我是说，自己好了
Yes. I mean, it fixed itself.
自己好了？
Fixed itself, did it?
对
Yes.
机器不会自己修理
Machines don’t fix themselves.
他瞎搞
He’s tampered with it.
抱歉让你们白跑一趟
Sorry you had a wasted journey.
我想我们必须瞧瞧
I think we ought to have a look.
你们有27B/6文件吗？
Have you got a 27B/6?
27B/6？
A 27B/6?
看你做的好事
Now look what you’ve done to him.
你们有27B/6吗？
Have you got a 27B/6?
没有
Not as such.
但是我们会弄来
But we’II get one.
没关系，没关系
It’s all right, it’s all right.
抱歉，我是照章行事的人
Sorry. I’m a bit of a stickler for paperwork.
如果不按照正确程序走会怎样？
Where would we be if we didn’t stick to the correct procedures?
我们会再来
We’II be back.
我们会再来！
We’II be back!
感谢来访
Thanks for coming.
我们会再来，你这混♥蛋♥！
We’II be back, you clever bastard!
谢谢 – 我们会给你好看
Thank you. -We’II show you.
劳利，谢谢 在这窘境你还真可靠
Thanks, Lowry. You’re a good man in a tight corner.
我刚好在情报检索司工作
I just happen to work at the Ministry of Information.
什么？
What?
我恰好知道
I just happen to know that
情报检索司在找亚齐巴德塔托
Information Retrieval are looking for an Archibald Tuttle,
暖气工程师
heating engineer.
你不会刚好是…是吗？
You wouldn’t by any chance… Would you?
我的好朋友叫我哈利
My good friends call me Harry.
情报检索司？
Information Retrieval?
重要的家伙
The big boys.
他们找你做什么？
What do they want you for?
该走了
Time to go.