妙想天开（1985）

Sam, let a friend tell you your life is going wrong.
档案司没有出路，不值得
Records is a dead-end department. No security that’s worth a damn.
没有人会注意到你 – 我知道，很棒
It’s impossible to get noticed. -I know. Wonderful.
妙极了，再好也不过
Marvelous. Perfect.
再见，杰克 代我问好艾丽森和双胞胎
See you, Jack. Give my regards to Alison and the twins.
三胞胎 – 三胞胎？
Triplets. -Triplets?
天啊，时间过得真快
God, how time flies.
画面很清楚，对吧？很机动
A very clear delineation of picture, is it not? Mobile.
下一位！
Next!
我要申诉错误拘留
I want to report a wrongful arrest.
您要找的是情报校正司，不同的单位
You want Information Adjustments. Different department.
我去过情报校正司，他们叫我来这
I’ve been to Information Adjustments. They sent me here.
他们要我在这填张表格
They said you have a form I need to fill out.
你有拘留收据吗？ – 有
Have you got an arrest receipt? -Yeah.
有盖章吗？
Is it stamped?
盖章？
Stamped?
没有，上面没有盖章
No, there’s no stamp on it, you see.
盖了章才能给你表格
I can’t let you have the form until this is stamped.
要去哪里盖章？
Where do I get it stamped?
情报校正司
Information Adjustments.
没事
It’s nothing.
疑心培养自信
电脑一直显示旧资料，不可能吧？
It keeps picking up old films. That can’t be right, can it?
或许电脑坏了
Perhaps the machine’s on the blink.
不，不是电脑
No, it’s not the machine.
人员代码配对失误
There’s a mismatch on the personnel code numbers.
塔托负债31.06英镑，不是巴托
Tuttle should’ve had £31.06 debited against his account, not Buttle.
天啊，失误！ – 至少不是我们的错
My God, a mistake! -At least it’s not ours.
不是吗？那是谁的错？
Isn’t it? Whose is it?
情报检索司 – 很好
Information Retrieval. -Good.
执行司已针对修鞋匠亚齐巴德巴托
Expediting has put in for electrical procedures in respect of
执行电脑程序
Buttle, Archibald, shoe-repair operative.
但是保全司向行政司要求拘留 暖气工程师亚齐巴德塔托
But Security has invoiced Admin. for Tuttle, Archibald, heating engineer.
那我放心了，喝完茶吧，山拇
What a relief. Well, finish your tea, Sam.
谢谢
Thanks.
如果你升官，我就惨了
I don’t know what I’d do if you ever got promoted.
天啊，别担心 – 但是如果他们提拔你
God, don’t worry about that. -But if they did promote you.
我之前说过，我会拒绝升职
I’ve told you before. I’d turn it down.
你真的会吗？ – 真的
Would you, really? -Really.
你升官了
You’ve been promoted.
是你妈干的，对吧？
It’s your mother, isn’t it? Pulling strings again.
山拇，你该长大扛责任了
Sam, it’s time for you to grow up and accept responsibility.
你可怜的爸爸看你没升官会寒心的
Your poor father would be appalled at your lack of promotion.
妈，我希望你不要再介入
Mother, I just wish you would stop interfering.
我不想升官，我很满意现在的工作
I don’t want promotion. I’m happy where I am.
不，你并不满意 杰克林特就是个教训
No, you’re not. Jack Lint is a lesson to you.
他没有你的头脑，但是他有野心
He doesn’t have your brains, but he’s got the ambition.
你没有野心 但是还好你有我和副部长
You haven’t got the ambition. Luckily, you’ve got me and the Deputy Minister.
贺普曼先生和你♥爸♥爸是至交
Mr. Helpmann was very close to your father.
劳利太太，不要生气
Now please, Mrs. Lowry. Don’t get upset.
劳利先生，请在柜台稍等 你害她起皱纹了
Mr. Lowry, please wait in the reception. You’re giving her wrinkles.
看到没？ – 天啊！
You see? -God!
放轻松，劳利太太
Just try and relax, Mrs. Lowry.
我会让你年轻二十岁
I’II make you 20 years younger.
杰夫医生，你真是天才
Dr. Jaffe, you are a genius.
你想当外科总医师吗？
Would you like to be Surgeon General?
我认识每个人
I know simply everybody.
我弄好后，就没人认得出你了
They won’t know you when I’ve finished with you.
首先
First,
我们移除多余的皮肤
we remove the excess derma.
现在移除眼睛与额头下不结实的组织
Now the flaccid tissues under the eyes and forehead.
现在，我要拉
Now, I lift
皱纹和担忧纹
the wrinkles and the worry lines
向上拉到头部发际线
right up into the wig, into the hairline.
现在是面膜
Now the template.
有点黏，就是这样！
Now, a bit of sticky. Comme ça!
她已经比之前年轻两倍
Already she’s twice as beautiful as she was before.
看！
Voilà!
贺普曼先生和你可怜的爸爸是至交
Mr. Helpmann was very close to your poor father.
他和我一直都很亲近
He was close to me. He still is.
你到情报检索司，他会照顾你
He’II take you under his wing when you get to Information Retrieval.
你会喜欢那的
You’II like it there.
妈，你听我说
You’re not listening to me, Mother.
这是什么，女士？
What the hell is this, lady?
这是给我儿子的礼物，真的！
It’s a present for my son. Really!
我希望你喜欢，非常高级
I hope you like it. It’s very exclusive.
究竟是什么？
What on Earth is it?
给主管用的
Something for an executive.
劳利女士！您今天看起来真美 圣诞快乐
Madam Lowry! You look exquisite today. Merry Christmas.
哈啰，史拜罗，圣诞快乐
Hello, Spiro. Merry Christmas.
山缪，还记得我儿子吧？ – 当然
You remember my son, Samuel? -Of course.
我们要和特伦太太一起用餐
We’re joining Mrs. Terrain.
是，她们正在等
Yes, they’re waiting.
妈，我以为我们可以谈谈 – 我们会谈的
Mother, I thought we’d be able to talk. -We will.
艾达！ – 天啊，她和那个女人在一起
Ida! -God. She’s got what’s-her-name with her.
艾玛，你好吗？
Well, Alma, how are you?
你看起来很美
You look wonderful.
哈啰，雪莉
Hello, Shirley.
谢谢，史拜罗
Thank you, Spiro.
盐？ – 还不用
Salt? -Not yet.
山拇，圣诞快乐
Sam, Happy Christmas.
抱歉，我们迟到了 – 谢谢
So sorry we’re late. -Thanks.
艾玛
Now, Alma
你要吃什么？
what are you going to have?
我不知道要吃一号♥还是二号♥
I can’t make up my mind whether to have the number one or the number two.
史拜罗，你推荐哪个？
What do you recommend, Spiro?
女士，我只跟您说
Between you and me, madame,
今天点二号♥ – 谢谢，史拜罗
today the number two. -Thank you, Spiro.
雪莉，你要吃哪个？
Shirley, what are you going to have?
小姐，只跟您说，今天点一号♥
Between you and me, mademoiselle, today the number one.
劳利女士？
Madam Lowry?
不节食了！我要吃八号♥
To hell with the diet! I’m going to have a number eight, please.
选得好 – 喔，艾达
A most perceptive choice, if I may say so. -Oh, Ida.
先生？ – 牛排，一分熟，妈…
Monsieur? -Steak, please, rare. Mother…
先生，哪个号♥码？ – 我不知道哪个号♥码
Monsieur, quel numéro? -I don’t know which number.
妈，拜托… – 那个号♥码，那里
Mother, please… -That one. There.
谢谢，妈，能不能…
Thanks. Mother, will you…
艾玛，你这个坏女孩 你已经开始疗程了
Alma! You wicked girl. You’ve started your treatments.
请说号♥码 – 你注意到了
Say the number, please. -You noticed.
您必须说号♥码！ – 滚开！
You have to say the number! -Go away!
我得跟你说
I must tell you all about it.
三号♥
Number three.
妈，听我说好吗？ – 八号♥
Mother, will you listen to me? -Numéro huit.
酒炖小牛肉
Braised veal in wine sauce.
太令人兴奋了 我不找杰夫医生，改找恰普曼医生了
It’s too exciting. I’ve left Dr. Jaffe and gone to Dr. Chapman.
二号♥，橙汁鸭肉
Numéro deux, duck à I’orange.
恰普曼？ – 抱歉
Chapman? -Excusez-moi.
酸人？
The acid man?
对，艾达，因为他的技术创新
Really, Ida. Just because his techniques are revolutionary.
我不会到处说杰夫医生是“刽子手”
I don’t go around calling Dr. Jaffe “the knife man.”
一号♥，奶油虾
Numéro un, crevettes à la mayonnaise.
抱歉，艾玛
I am sorry, Alma.
我不是故意… – 没关系，艾达
I didn’t mean to… -It’s all right, Ida.
牛排，三号♥！
Steak. Numéro trois!
女士、先生
Mesdames, monsieur
用餐愉快！
bon appétit!
谢谢！ – 谢谢！
Merci! -Merci!
但是，酸可做出这么棒的微妙变化
Acid, on the other hand, can be used for such wonderfully subtle shading
像是精致的细微差异
such delicate nuances.
就像林布兰的蚀刻画 而这快多了
Like a Rembrandt etching. And it is so much quicker.
如果没有这么麻烦，每个人都可以做
If it wasn’t for this complication, it could’ve happened to anybody,