少年时代

你想想 成就之后大把的荣誉在等着你
Think about it. Awful lot of flowers in that bouquet.
但请你帮帮忙
But you got to do me a favor.
这个夏天 感情的伤疤会让你脆弱无比
You’re going to be vulnerable this summer, all right?
千万记得在分手炮时 做避孕措施
Remember to use protection during breakup sex.
这家伙一定知道我在说什么
This guy knows exactly of which I speak.
看看他不当心的后果吧 活生生的例子啊
Look what happened to him. Voila’.
斯蒂文
Steven.
干杯
Cheers.
没他说的那么简单
It’s not that simple.
还剩四年 还剩四年
Four more years. Four more years.
我说说而已嘛
I’m just saying.
你要回收这些瓶罐吗 我要不要
Do y’all recycle? Should I…
我统一扔那边了
I have one started there.
哦 是吗 真棒
Oh, yeah, right. Great.
这次趴体上只有我一个前任吗
Am I your only ex at this party?
对的 不过我倒不是你这里唯一的老婆
Yes. I’m not your only wife here, though.
是啊
Yeah.
你敢相信他们都高中毕业了吗
Can you believe they’re both out of high school?
不 我不敢相信
No. No, I can’t.
那什么 他们俩一路成长 你居功至伟
You did a great job with both of them, by the way.
谢谢你能这么说
Thanks for saying that.
我没想到你会这么说
I never thought I’d hear you say that.
好吧 我说的是事实
Well, it’s true.
谢谢你
Thank you.
你还要再经历一次这个过程 是吧
You’re doing it all over again, huh?
我知道 我知道
I know, I know, right?
轮到我自♥由♥解放 还要十五年
It’s gonna be 15 years till I have an empty nest.
嗯
Hmm.
不过我也想出一份力 如果可以的话
But I’d love to pitch in, help with this, if I could.
我是说 你所做的一切真的很棒
I mean, it’s so great that you did this.
能允许我也出一份小心意吗
Can I just give you a little?
如果可以的话 我会很感激
I’d appreciate it if I could.
当然 好的
Sure. Yeah.
不过我这儿没现金了
But I don’t have any cash.
哦想起来了 都在安妮的钱包里 我去去就来
Oh, I know, it’s in Annie’s purse. I’ll be right back.
好吧确实很糟 我是说
So it sucks. I mean,
那家伙可是大学的长曲棍球运动员
the guy’s a college lacrosse player.
那还能怎么样
What are you gonna do?
她甚至连运动都不喜欢
She didn’t even like sports.
要来一瓶吗
You want a beer?
不用了
No, that’s all right.
你可以喝一瓶 没关系的
You can have one. It’s okay.
好吧 无论如何
Yeah, well, for what it’s worth,
我们在某种程度上
we’ve all been through the
都经历过过一模一样的遭遇
exact same thing at one point or another.
也不是一模一样 我是说 其实你对她 也并不了解
It’s not the same, though. I mean, you never got to know her.
我知道我知道 肯定有所不同
No, I know, I know. It’s not the same.
我只是不知道我哪里错的不对
I just don’t know what I did wrong.
嘿 杰米 伙计
Hey, Jimmy. Hey, man.
-嗨 -嗨 梅森
-Hey. -Hey, Mason.
我们擅闯了你们的休息室 希望你们别介意
We’re up here raiding the green room. Hope that’s okay.
完全没问题
That’s totally cool.
好吧
All right.
哇哦 那是小梅森吗
Wow! Is that MJ?
嗯哼 你说呢
Uh-huh, right?
难以置信
Unbelievable.
好吧 我们提前过来了 想先看你一眼
Well, we just decided to come a little early, check you out.
没关系 等我排练结束 很快就上来找你们
That’s cool man, let me finish up. I’ll be up in a minute.
好的 我向你保证 你什么都没做错
All right. I guarantee you, you didn’t do anything wrong.
这种高中时期的恋情 都没什么好结果
These high school love things, they never work out.
过来这里
Here, come here.
我是说 每个人都在不停改变 你知道吗
I mean, everybody’s just changing so much, you know?
你要让两个年轻人
The odds of two young
一直处在同一个频道 这种概率真的是
people staying on the same wavelength are…
-是的 可总有 -听着 我还能向你保证
-Yeah, but still… -Look, and I also guarantee you
你未来的生命里
that every day of your life
如果为了某个笨女人伤心流泪
that you spend crying over some silly girl
那都是彻底的浪费时间
is a complete waste of time.
可她并不是什么笨女人
She wasn’t a silly girl, though.
我是说 她是一个很认真的人
I mean, she’s a serious person.
我真的以为我们能
And I really thought we were…
什么
What?
我不知道
I don’t know.
告诉你一个事实 女人从来不会觉得满足 好吗
Here’s the truth. Women are never satisfied, okay?
她们总是在找更好的男人
They’re always looking to potentially trade up,
这种事儿 很遗憾告诉你
and that’s, I’m sorry to say,
不幸发生在了你身上 我毛还没长齐的小朋友
what I think has happened to you, my fine-feathered friend.
你到底什么意思嘛
What does that even mean?
我的意思是 别向你的自尊低头
It means don’t hand over
别在希拉这棵树上吊死
the controls to your self-esteem to Sheila.
-希娜 -好吧
-Sheena. -All right.
我的意思是 你要对自己负责
It means you are responsible for you,
而不是对你的女友 不是对你妈
not your girlfriend, not your mom,
不是对我 而是对你自己
not me, you.
如果你真的照顾好自己的心
And if you truly take care of you,
你会惊讶地发现 不知多少希娜那样的姑娘
you will be amazed at how much girls like Sheena
在你门前排长队
start lining up at your front door.
说得好
Great.
你必须把自己的注意力移开
You just gotta separate yourself from the pack in some way.
专注让自己越来越优秀 你懂的
Excel at something, you know,
然后当欲♥女♥们开始蠢蠢欲动时
and then you have your pick of the litter
就能任你挑任你选了
when the front-runner hussies start sniffing around.
所以你是说我应该去练练长曲棍球
So what you’re saying is I should take up lacrosse.
没错
Exactly.
或者你可以 玩玩乐队什么的
Or you could, you know, start a band.
我年轻时 这招屡试不爽
Worked for me a long time ago.
我想杰米现在 仍然屡试不爽
I think it’s still working for Jimmy.
或者你可以继续玩儿摄影
Or you just keep taking pictures.
她不喜欢我给她拍的相片
She hated the pictures I took of her.
我对她厌恶至极了 好吗
I’m sick to death of her, okay?
我只见过她几次 好吧她很可爱 没错
I only met her a few times, and yes, she was cute, all right,
但说实话 我总觉得她有一点
but truth be told, I always thought she was a little bit…
怎么说呢 跟你还是有点不搭调
You know, a little bit too square for you.
你懂的 和你不在同一个维度里
You know, not quite the same vibe.
你真这么想吗
You really thought that?
从某个微妙的角度来说
On some subtle, lower level.
听到说她对头脑简单的
I mean, I wasn’t surprised
长曲棍球运动员感兴趣
when it turned out she was
其实我并不怎么惊讶
interested in some Knucklehead lacrosse player, okay?
归根结底
I mean, bottom line is,
感情的事儿 都是时机问题
it’s all timing with these things, you know.
想想你妈和我
I mean, take your mom and me.
我觉得十五或二十年前
I think I probably turned into the boring,
我还真有可能变成她希望的
castrated guy she wanted me to be
无聊又无趣的那种人 你知道么
15, 20 years ago, you know?
我不是说她生气一定就错 不是这样
I’m not saying she was wrong to be pissed, I’m not.
我是说 她其实可以更耐心一些
I’m just saying that she could’ve been
更宽容一些
a little more patient, little more forgiving.
这样的话 也没那几个酒鬼后爹什么事儿了
Would’ve saved me that parade of drunken assholes.
那么意义到底是什么
So, what’s the point?
什么的意义
Of What?
不知道 任何事情 所有事情
I don’t know, any of this. Everything.
所有事情 的意义
Everything? What’s the point?
我也压根儿不知道
I mean, I sure as shit don’t know.
任何人都不知道 好么
Neither does anybody else, okay?
生活中 我们其实都在即兴表演 不是吗
We’re all just winging it, you know?
不过赞的是 你开始用心感受了
The good news is you’re feeling stuff.
而且你要一直感受下去
And you’ve got to hold on to that.
真的 等你长大一些 感觉会渐渐麻木
You do. I mean, you get older and you don’t feel as much.
不过你的外壳也会越来越硬
Your skin gets tougher.